Why Me

The next morning I woke up really early. Actually I haven’t slept well all night. I get up, out of bed, take out my phone, and I go for a walk. I walk to that bench I was at yesterday morning. It’s still a little dark outside. I look at my phone, its already 6 am. We will be woken up in an hour and a half. ‘I wonder if Dana is up.’ I call her.

No answer.

I sit there for a little while, thinking about stuff. Then I hear someone call my name. “Fae! Fae, is that you?”

I turn around, it’s Stephen. “Yes. It’s me.” I answer.

“What are you doing out here?”

“Thinking.”

“About.......”

“About how I’m kinda scared about going home. I’m scared about what I’ll see, and what I’ll feel.” A tear falls down my face.

“Do you have my phone number?” He asks.

“I’m not sure, why?”

“Because, I know that Steph will be there, but if you need to, you can call me. Don’t forget, I am the first person you met here, and you were the first person I met! I think of you as one of my best friends, and I want to be able to be there for you. I know you lost your best friends, and your family, but I like to think of our group as a family. We all take care of each other. I mean, if one of us died, we would all be so upset. If one of us got hurt, we would be right by their side. Am I right?”

“Ya, I guess your right. I do think of you, Robin, and Seth like brothers; and I think of Steph as a sister. I thank you. What you said really helped me feel better.”

“I’m glad. Fae, what’s wrong?” I look at him. I had started crying a little bet.

“I’m still scared. What about mar? He’s still my brother. I don’t know what happened to him. I don’t know what happened to any of them. I don’t know if they’re dead, alive, or hurt. I’m afraid of what I’ll see.” I pause. “I need a drink or something.”

Stephen laughs a little. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say something like that.”

“Well before I came here, I sue to drink and or smoke when I had problems.


“I see, well lets get back, and I think I can find you something before you leave.”

“Ok, thanks.”

“No problem.” I give him a hug.

“Sorry, I just needed a hug.”

“Its ok, I’m always here if you need one. You don’t even have to ask.”

“Thanks.” I give him another one.

“No problem.” He smiles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we get back, most people are already up. My bag is already outside the cabin, and Steph is in the process of taking hers out. “Hey Fae! It’s almost time to go, go get ready!” She yells over to me.

“Ok, give me a few minutes. I need to shower still.”

“Ok, we have 30 minutes ‘till breakfast.”

“Ok.” I walk into the cabin, take my uniform off my bead, and go take a shower.

While taking a shower I notice that there is some blood on the soap. ‘Is that from my wound? Is it bleeding again?’ I look down at it. It’s not bleeding. ‘I wonder where that came from. I wonder is anyone is hurt.’

Just then someone walks in. “Are you that girl that was shot, and whos city was bombed?” A girl’s voice asks me. Her voice seemed like she’s shy.

“Um, ya, I am.” I get out of the shower, dry off, and start dressing.

“I’m sry.” She says. I look at her. She’s small and frail looking. She looks a little younger than I am. She has short black hair, and brown eyes. I notice there are a few cuts on her ankles. They look like razor cuts. I realize the the blood in the shower is from her cuts.

I smile at her. “Don’t worry about it. I’m alright. I’m Fae by the way. What’s your name?” I shake her hand.

“I’m Amy.” She smiles.

“How old are you amy?”

“Well actually I’m only 18 years old. I was send here in the draft.”

“Wow! Well I’m 24 years old.” I put my uniform on. “I have to take my bags up to the main building. Do you want to help me?” I ask her.

“Sure! Let me get some shoes on.” She runs into the other room. I smile to myself, and look in the mirror.

‘Wow, I look so important!’ My uniform is a dark blue. I have all my pins, ribbons, and stuff I’ve earned, on my uniform.

“Ok, I’m ready!” Amy says, while running back into the bathroom.

“Ok, lets go.” We walk out of the cabin. I pick up my bag and we start walking. “Hey, Amy.” I say after some silence. She looks at me. “I know we’ve just bet, but I need to talk to you.”

“Ok, what’s up?”

“Why are you sad?” I ask her.

“What do you mean?” She looks confused and worried.

“Why are you sad?” I ask again. “I know you just met me, and don’t know me very well, but I’ve gone through a lot also, and I can probably understand your pain.” I look at her, she’s looking at the ground, thinking hard.

We arive at the van, and I put my stuff in the trunk. Steph is already inside, waiting for me. I turn to Amy and give her a smile. “You don’t have to talk about it now, but I want you to know that when I get back, I’ll be available to talk whenever you want. Everyone has a purpose in life, and the things that happen, just brings the person closer to their purpose.” And with that, I get into the car and close the door.

“What was that about?” Steph asks.

“Don’t worry about it.” I answer. I look around the large van. Adam, Stephen, Robin, and Seth are also in the van. “What are yall doing here?”

“We wanted to come see yall off. Is that a problem?” Adam answers. I shake my head no.

“Oh, Fae, that’s Robby. He’s our driver! He’s also gonna be our escort for the rest of the time we will be in the US!” Steph says. I look at Robby. He looks a little young. About the same age as Amy. He is wearing a green uniform. He has red curly hair, but I cant see his eyes. He also has freckles on his arms.

“Hi Robby, it’s very nice to meet you.” He turns his head a little bit, and smiles. “I’m Fae.”

“Nice to meet you too.” He replies, and looks strait ahead of him.

“He’s a little shy.” adam whispers in my ear from behind me. “He doesn’t talk much.”

“I can tell.” I reply.

“Hey Robin! So, about that fight yesterday. Don’t you think the new ones did an ok job?” Steph asks.

“Ya they did. But I’ve seen better.”

“I think we still did a great job!” Adam puts in.

“Ya we kicked ass!” Seth yells.

“I thought it was so cool when.....” Steph and everyone keep talking, but my mind wanders off.

I stare out the window, watching things go by. ‘Wow, a lot of things have happened in the past few days, and in my life. It’s been a little more than a year since I got here, a little more than 2 years since I last saw home, and since my parents died. It’s been almost 24 hours since I heard about Katie, Henry, and Mark. This morning I met a girl that cuts herself. Wow. And now I’m on my way home. Finally. But not for the same reason as I wanted. I’m going home to see what’s left.

Why am I here? Why did all these things have to happen to me? I’m still hurt from when I got shot, I’m still in pain from when my sister died, and from when my parents died. And now I’m in even more pain because my friends are dead, and even my older brother is dead! I have nothing left. If all these things never happened, I’d be happier. I’d still have my family, I’d still have my friends. But if it hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have met Stephen, Seth, Robin, and Amy. I wouldn’t have met my new best friend, Steph. And I wouldn’t have fallen in love with Adam. I probably would be dead right now. Just like my friends are at home. But I’d be with them.’ Tears are falling down my eyes. ‘But I’m not with them. I’m here. In this van. With my bast friend, boyfriend, and friends. I’m with people that I love, and who love me. If that stuff never happened to me, I’d probably be a different person right now. Who would I be? What would I’ve become? Where are we right now?’

I’m still in my own world, thinking to myself when Adam taps me on my shoulder. “Fae, are you ok?” He asks.

I jump, a little startled. “Ya I’m fine.” I answer.

“Are you sure? You’re being a little spacy.”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”


“We’re almost at the airport guys.” Robby says.

“Really? Wow, that seemed fast.” Steph says while looking out the window. I look. There are very few planes here. “Where are all the planes?” Steph asks.

“They’re probably being used for war.” I answer.

“You’re probably right.”

We pull up to the checkin, and we all get out. Adam takes my bag, and Stephen takes Steph’s. Robby, Robin, and Seth walk behind us. We check in our bags, and go to the gate. The airport is actually huge! There are many stores and resturants. There are also many people. “I thought there aren’t many planes. Why are there so many people?” I ask.

“Well actually you’re gonna see a lot more people in the next airport.” Adam says.

“He’s right. We haven’t seen so many peole in one place, at one time, in a long time. And in the US, there are a lot of people.” Steph adds.

“That’s true.” I say.

We sit down at our gate. Robin takes out a book to read, while Seth, Stephen, and Adam go wonder around. Robby takes out a pen and a pad of paper and starts drawing. Steph and I sit there, looking out the window. There’s another plane at our gate, but it’s not our’s. We’re about 2 hours early. In the distance I can see a few planes flying around, but the thing that I can’t hear, the thing that I’ve been hearing for a year now. I can’t hear the sounds of the war. I know that if I go outside, I’ll hear it. I’ll go back, back to the fear, the fear of death.

“Are you scared?” Steph says.

“Ya, I an. What do you think we’ll find?” I answer.

“I have no idea.” She looks at me. “I hope nothing too bad.”

“I hope so too.” I look at her. “I hope so too.”