Pain and.. pain?

A new chapter, yea! Thanks for the reviews, they are highly appreciated and please continue reviewing! I've fallen in love with Jason.




CHAPTER 14



I woke up in a dimly lit room. My mouth felt dry and I coughed carefully. Fuck that hurt!

Tears burned in my eyes and I wrenched them open. My vision was still blurry and all I could see was white walls everywhere. How long had I been out of it? I tried lifting my arm and winced when something pulled on it painfully. It took all my effort to turn my head to the side so I could see what was hurting my arm and frowned when I saw a needle stuck on my arm with a long tube attached to it. What the hell?

My head felt fuzzy and I closed my eyes again, trying to wrap my mind around what was happening. I had already realized that I wasn’t on my mattress or even in my room. My mattress wasn’t this soft. My pillow wasn’t this big. Where the hell was I?

I tried lifting my head to take a look around the room but before I could get my head off the pillow, my eyes rolled to the back of my skull and I blacked out again.




When I woke up again, there was someone in the room with me. And that someone was sitting on the bed next to me, running their hand over my side. I opened my eyes slowly and tried to twist away from the touch, only managing to hurt myself.

“Ssh, stay still.” a low voice said and the hand moved from my side to my belly.

“Nnh.” I mumbled and tried to push the hand away.

A hand grabbed my wrist and pushed it back on my side.

“I said stay still. Be a good boy and I’ll give you something for the pain later, alright?” the voice said and I turned my blurry eyes to the man sitting next to me. I didn’t know him. Where the hell was I?

“You shouldn’t push yourself, you have a bad concussion. You have to stay still and rest.” the man said and I closed my eyes tiredly. I wanted to sleep. I wanted the man to leave me alone.

But as always, it didn’t matter shit what I wanted.

The hands kept touching me and I tried pushing them away again.

“P-Please, d-don’t.” I coughed out, my voice raspy from lack of use and the man sighed heavily.

“Shush now, close your eyes.” The man said and when I still tried to move my hands, grabbed one of my wrists tightly while his other hand wrapped around my throat. I gasped for air when he choked me and tried to twist my body away from him again.

“I said stay still! Stop moving and I’ll let go!” The man growled and tightened his hold around my throat. I stopped moving and thankfully he let go. Tears were running down my face and I was breathing heavily now, only making the pain increase all over my body.

“That’s a good boy.” The man said in a sickly sweet voice and smoothed my hair back from my face.

“Just stay still and you won’t get hurt. I’ll make you feel better in a moment.” The man continued with his fake sweet tone and I turned my head towards the wall, giving up. I didn’t know who the man was but did it really even matter? He was just another bastard in my life and there was nothing I could do about it. I was too tired and too much in pain to fight him. The man next to me smirked and let go of my wrist before brushing my cheek briefly with his hand. He let his hands travel down my body and I shuddered under his touch.

“You’re a pretty one. You’ll be even prettier when the bruises heal.” The man said and leaned down to kiss me. I felt his breathing against my cheek and a quiet sob escape from my lips. “Ssh, I won’t hurt you pretty one.”

I just bit my trembling lower lip and let the silent tears roll down my face while the unknown man touched and kissed my body all over. My body wasn’t reacting to his caressing but the man didn’t seem bothered by it. When I felt him pull down the sheet covering my lower body, I opened my mouth to protest but nothing came out. Protesting would be just plain stupid. He wasn’t hurting me and I wanted to keep it that way. The man whose name I didn’t even know rolled my balls in his hand while rubbing my tight and I felt disgusted.

The man was breathing heavily now and his other hand moved to rub that smooth spot behind my balls. Suddenly he shifted on the bed and settled his hands on my hips.

“Turn around on you belly.” he said and I let out a broken sob. I was still torn from Jonathan. I was still hurting deep inside and I wasn’t sure I would be able to take the pain of him fucking me. I didn’t move but the man flipped me over, careful not to tear the needle from my arm while doing so. My whole body was trembling now and I kept my face hidden against the pillow, drenching it with my tears.

“Hey, calm down, kid.” The man said, reminding me of Jonathan and making me just panic even more. A hand rubbed on my lower back and I felt the man move on the bed so he could kneel behind me. My legs were pushed apart slowly and I cried out of pain. I heard the familiar crack of the lube tube being opened and dug my hands into the sheet under me, preparing myself for the tearing pain. I couldn’t control the trembling that had taken over my whole body even though it only made everything hurt so much more. I was panicking, big time. A lube covered finger rubbed against my torn hole and the man kneeling between my legs muttered.

“Relax, you’re only hurting yourself by tensing your muscles. I had to stitch you up from inside.” The man said and fear clenched my stomach. I hated stitches. All they did was tear open again and hurt more.

A finger pressed in and I muffled a cry of pain in the pillow that was already wet with my tears. The man probed around for a moment before pulling his finger out and rubbing my buttock for a moment.

“There, it didn’t hurt too much, did it? The swelling has gone down a bit, that’s a good sign.” He said then and I turned my head to the side, confused. He wasn’t going to fuck me?

The man got off the bed and lifted the sheet over to cover me again before saying. “I’ll get you that pain killer now.”

I stared at the wall dumbly and tried to get my brain to work. Why hadn’t he fucked me? He did all the touching and kissing but.. but he hadn’t fucked me. Why?

The man was back with a needle and I winced away from him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle.” He grinned and sat down on the bed again. I got turned around on my back again before the man took my arm and wrapped the plastic band he had brought with him around it. I closed my eyes and turned my head away when he took the needle in his hand again and winced when I felt the needle puncture my skin.

The man got up to leave and I looked at him with blurry eyes.

“W-Why?”

“Why what, kid?”

“W-Why.. W-Why d-didn’t y-you fu-fuck m-me?” I stuttered quietly and the man frowned at me.

“You have over twenty stitches in your ass, you’re barely conscious and you honestly thought that I was going to fuck you?” he asked and I turned my eyes away from him.

“I’m sorry, sir.”

“Shit, kid, you’ve been fucked over too many times. Sleep now. You need the rest.” The man said and headed for the door.

“W-Wait!” I blurted out and moved my eyes back to the floor when the man turned to look at me again. “I-I d-don’t e-even know y-your name.” I mumbled nervously and the man grinned.

“Call me Doc, kid.” He said and disappeared through the door. I heard the lock click when the door was locked and closed my eyes tiredly. The pain was already going away and I was tired.






The next time I woke up, the room was dark and the needle had disappeared from my arm. I sighed heavily and rubbed on my eyes tiredly. The painkillers had worn off and my body was aching all over but my mind was clear. I rolled over carefully and pushed myself to sit up, gasping from pain. Tears burned in my eyes and my mind went dizzy from the pain but I wanted to get up. I heard the door open and kept my head down, not daring to look up. I knew I was in trouble.

“What do you think you’re doing?” The Doc asked from the door, sounding annoyed, and I bit my trembling lower lip carefully.

“I’m sorry, sir.” I said quietly and winced when Doc came closer, expecting for a hit. My body protested the sudden movement and made me pant for air.

“Why are you up?”

“I was just..”

“Look, you’re not going anywhere until I say you’re fit enough again. So get back on that bed!”

I stared at the floor numbly for a moment before scooting back on the bed and lying down again. Doc came closer and I turned my head towards the wall, closing my eyes. He sat on the bed next to me and my whole body tensed up. A hand touched my forehead, making me wince again and Doc chuckled next to me.

“Calm down, kid. Haven’t you figured out yet that I’m here to help you get better, not to hurt you?” He asked and I bit my lip nervously. He was right, he hadn’t hurt me. Yet. Not physically anyway.

“Where’s dad?” I asked carefully and pulled my head away from his touch. The hand grabbed my hair instantly and I got the hint and kept still. Once I stilled, Doc smoothed my hair back and said.

“Home, I suppose. Don’t worry, you’re going back there when you are better.”

I nodded quietly and closed my eyes again, tears escaping from the corners. I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to stay here.




Two weeks later I was sitting on the bed, eating macaroni and cheese Doc had given me. I was feeling a lot better, it didn’t hurt to sit anymore and the brutal headaches that made me want to throw up had stopped as well. I had been living on macaroni and cheese for the past weeks and I was getting sick of it. Apparently Doc wasn’t as good in the kitchen as he was fixing people. The door opened and I looked up from my plate.

“Not hungry?” Doc asked and I shrugged my shoulders slightly.

“Overdose.” I mumbled and Doc chuckled slightly.

“Well, then you’ll be happy to hear that you’re going home today.” he said and the plate slipped from my hands, dropping on the floor with a clunk. Doc glanced at the mess on the floor and then me with a raised eyebrow.

“I-I’m s-sorry.” I stuttered and dropped on the floor on my knees. I started scooping up the stuff with my fingers and Doc sighed.

“It’s okay, come on, I’ll clean it up later.” he said and pulled me up by my arm. I stood still nervously and Doc pushed me to sit on the bed. “Now, let me check you up one more time and then I’ll call your dad to pick you up.”

I nodded stiffly and wiped my hands on the paper towel Doc gave me. I had gotten used to him touching me but I still didn’t like it. He still hadn’t hurt me though and it freaked me out a little bit. I sat still patiently while Doc went through the routine of checking me out and lied down on my back when told to do so. That meant that Doc was done with the medical part and now he just wanted to molest me. I closed my eyes and turned my head towards the wall, letting him do what he wanted.

“So, are you happy to go home?” Doc asked and I shrugged my shoulders slightly.

“You don’t seem very enthusiastic.”

“I’m sorry, sir.” I mumbled and Doc just looked at me for a while before sighing. He stood up and picked up my plate.

“You’re one messed up kid, Jason. I’ll bring you your clothes in a minute.” Doc said and I nodded numbly.

I was going home and I wasn’t all that sure I wanted to go there. I knew I would just get hurt again if I went back. Maybe not right away, but eventually dad would get angry or Jonathan would loose his temper with me again. And there was nothing I could do to stop them.






Half an hour later dad was there to pick me up. I was wearing jeans stained with dried blood and a thin t-shirt. Apparently dad hadn’t bothered to put a hoodie on me while dressing me when I had been unconscious. I didn’t have shoes either but Doc had given me his old sneakers so I could walk home.

The ride home was silent. I just sat pressed against the door with my arms wrapped around my shivering torso and stared out of the window. It was cold and I just wanted to get back inside and maybe under my blanket. Somehow I had a feeling that dad wouldn’t let me be in peace once we got home. I had just had a two week holiday from everything and knowing dad he would make me fight as soon as possible.

When dad pulled over by the curb outside our building, I got out silently and headed upstairs. I kept my arms wrapped around my body in an attempt to hold on to at least a fraction of body heat. I climbed the stairs slowly, dad trailing behind me and kept my head down. I heard someone walk down the stairs and lifted my head to se Mr. Annoying in front of me.

“Isn’t it kind of cold to be outside without a jacket?” He asked in his usual annoying way and I shrugged my shoulders slightly. A hand landed on my shoulder and I flinched at the touch.

“Is there a problem?” Dad asked from behind me and I looked down.

“No, no problem. I was just wondering why he is outside without a jacket.” Mr. Annoying said and dad’s hold on my shoulder tightened for a moment.

“Well, he’s not the brightest bulb in the punch. Jason, go inside.”

“Yes, sir.” I mumbled quietly and went past Mr. Annoying, glad to get away from his piercing eyes and dad.

I reached our door before realizing that I didn’t have the keys and leaned on the wall to wait for dad. I stared at the floor and tried to ignore the voices coming from the stairs. I didn’t want to know what bullshit dad was telling about me to Mr. Annoying. The man already didn’t like me, after this he would surely hate me. Dad was good at making people hate me.

Five minutes later dad reached our door and gave me a sharp glance. “Why the hell are you standing there? I told you to go inside.”

“I don’t have the keys, sir.” I said quietly and kept my eyes on the floor, not wanting to provoke him.

Dad just huffed and dug the keys from his pocket. He let us in and grabbed my arm when I tried to go to my room.

“Do you still hurt?” He asked and I shook my head timidly.

“No, sir.”

“Good, you’re fighting tomorrow. Go to bed.” Dad said and pushed me towards my room.

“Yes, sir.” I mumbled quietly and rubbed on my arm while going to my room. I was waiting to go to sleep on my own familiar mattress and opened the door to my room eagerly. I took a look at the mess called my bed once before going pale. Everything was covered in dried blood and I felt sick. I hadn’t realized that I had bled that much after the rape.

I gathered up the sheets and headed for the bathroom. Dad was sitting on his barker lounge and glanced at me briefly before turning his eyes back on the TV. “I thought I told you to go to bed.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but I need to do laundry.” I mumbled and went to the bathroom. I spent the next twenty five minutes rubbing as much of the dried blood off the sheets with cold water until my hands were freezing and I was almost sure that the sheets would become clean in the washing machine. I hated washing off blood because it stained so easily but I had gotten pretty good at it over the years. I couldn’t sleep on sheets stained with blood, it reminded me too much of how that blood had gotten on the sheets in the first place for me to be able to get a good night’s sleep.




When I finally got the sheets washed and dried so I could go to sleep, I could barely keep my eyes open. I wrapped myself in my blanket without undressing and curled up against the wall to sleep. It was nice to be surrounded by the familiar scent of clean sheets and the dusty smell of my mattress while my head was resting on the old pillow shaped perfectly for my head. Dad wouldn’t come into my room until morning, Doc wouldn’t be here to touch me and it wasn’t poker night. I felt safe.