Devil May Love

Gaibriel was grateful for the slight breeze that was blowing as he walked home. He hadn't expected it to be warm when he'd decided to wear a long sleeved shirt that morning. It didn't matter while he was at school but the walk home usually left him a lot hotter than he liked. He'd always preferred it cool.

Gaibriel adjusted the shoulder strap of his backpack while he waited for a space big enough in the traffic for him to cross. He was still smiling brightly and a few people waved to him as they passed. He felt giddy almost to the point of laughing out loud. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so cheerful. Mat-mat had met him as he was leaving gym and walked with him to his next class and then met him again after that one. The other boy had been stunned when Gaibriel told him he never watched TV or listened to music. Mat-mat hadn't asked why and he was grateful for it. Instead, he'd changed the subject to the others Gaibriel had met that day. He explained that he'd known Amanda since they were children and that Berry had moved into their neighborhood when they were in middle school. Lin and Darren also lived close to each other and had actually dated for a little while a few months ago. The two groups were introduced to each other when Amanda took notice of Lin's style and they started talking. They had all been friends since their Sophomore year. As he walked home, Gaibriel went over and over the little tidbits of his new friends. He wanted to remember everything.

"Gaibriel!!"

A bus had come to a stop across the street from him to let some kids off. A slightly chubby arm was waving out of the back window and Lin's smiling face was beside it. Gaibriel waved back energetically and Lin blew him a kiss as the bus began moving again. He did laugh out loud this time.

After that, the walk home seemed to fly by and he was walking up his driveway a lot sooner than he'd have liked. His father's car was already parked in the garage as usual. Slipping past the vehicle, he opened the screen door and entered the kitchen. He dropped his backpack beside his usual chair at the kitchen table and went to the refrigerator to get a can of Dr. Pepper. He popped the tab, twisted it around and pulled it off. The small circle that held it onto the can was unbroken. He smiled. He'd heard from the other kids that it meant good luck. He'd seen a few of them with a string of them hanging off of their backpacks or wearing them as necklaces and bracelets. He'd also heard that some of the girls wore them to keep a tally of the number of kisses they received. Gaibriel tucked it into his pocket, hoping for the good luck and bent over to unzip his backpack.

"I know what you've been doing, Gaibriel."

His father's voice was quiet and calm, the underlying anger giving it a slight rumble. Gaibriel's hand froze, clasped around the top of his notebook. He looked up and saw his father standing in the kitchen doorway, leaning casually against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. Gaibriel's mind flew but he said nothing. He didn't know what his father was talking about but he could take more than one guess. He'd learned long ago it was best to stay silent and see what was going on first.

His father straightened and glared at him. "I noticed you've been acting a little odd lately. Decided to call your teachers and have a little talk with them. Apparently you've been falling asleep in your classes. And what is this about a sprained ankle? I wasn't aware you'd become a liar."

Gaibriel sat up slowly. So that is what it was. He was almost relieved. "I haven't... I felt terrible for doing that, Father. I just... I was feeling really tired that day. I haven't been sleeping well."

"And why can't you sleep all of a sudden? You've never had trouble sleeping before."

"I - I don't know."

"Nightmares?"

Gaibriel shook his head. "No sir. I just can't fall asleep."

His father seemed to stop and think and Gaibriel couldn't help but feel hopeful. He knew it was possible to quell his father's anger, but it was tricky business and sometimes could end up making things worse.

"Then perhaps its because you are too excited. I'm sure your new friends have lots of things to show you."

Gaibriel felt like some one had deposited a lead ball in his stomach. He should have known it was too simple. He dropped his eyes.

"You know what I've told you."

"Yes sir." There was no way he could forget. He had been allowed friends up until middle school. It was then that his father decided he wasn't strong enough to deal with the peer pressure that was to come. His father was convinced he was 'born in sin' and, therefore, susceptible to it. He sought to cut Gaibriel off from the world in hopes that he could keep him pure. Gaibriel always thought it was ridiculous. He knew he wasn't a bad kid, the same way he knew his mother wasn't a bad mother. They were both simply trapped and scared.

"They are trouble makers."

Gaibriel spoke before he thought. "They are not!"

His father's eyes darkened. "You dare to contradict me," he said in a raised voice. "I have been to your school, Gaibriel and spoken to the principal. He can recognize some of them by name!"

Gaibriel dropped his eyes again. 'Why,' he thought silently, feeling tears well up in his eyes, 'why does he always know?'

"You will not speak to them anymore. Do I make myself clear?"

Gaibriel nodded.

"I will be checking on you."

He nodded again, not really listening. He hated when things went like this. He couldn't help but get his hopes up each time. Friends... a way out... even a few minutes of peace... It was all snatched away from him eventually. He hated that more than the punishments. He would rather never have it, than have a sample snatched away from him. He would do as he was told. The next day, he wouldn't speak to anyone and he would go back to hiding in the library. He knew already there was no other choice.

He heard his father pulling his belt off. The slight clink of the metal buckle being undone and the slipping sound as he pulled it from around his waist. He looped it and held it in his right hand. 'At least he's not using the buckle this time,' Gaibriel thought, already standing up. His father grabbed his upper arm in a tight grip that made him wince and began swinging the belt across his bottom and thighs. Gaibriel whimpered a little after the first few blows, the tears that had welled in his eyes spilling over. His entire backside was burning so that he almost didn't feel the individual blows by the time his father stopped. When his father released his arm, Gaibriel lifted his hands to wipe his eyes and mumbled an apology.

"Kneel and pray."

Gaibriel fell to his knees, and folded his hands in front of him, his voice hitching once in a while as he spoke. "Dear Lord... I ask forgiveness for lying to my father and teachers. I am sorry and hope that you will grant me the strength to always be truthful and do what is right. I have a wonderful life and I am thankful for that. Amen." Gaibriel paused before opening his eyes and looking up to his father.

"I suppose it will work. Finish your homework and then get up to your room. Your mother doesn't need you under her while she tries to cook supper."

"Yes sir."

Gaibriel took his seat and began digging in his backpack again. His father turned and left and Gaibriel could hear his footsteps as he went upstairs. A few moments later he heard the door to their bedroom open and close and if he listened hard enough he could hear the muffled sounds of the TV.

Gaibriel took a long drink from the can to try and calm himself. He didn't despair often. He knew that he had it rough and he also knew that the only way to get through it was to stay strong and accept it. He never was sure exactly how he did it, but even through some of his worst times, he always managed to keep from getting depressed and giving up hope. But even as he absentmindedly completed his homework, he was aware of the constant tears in his eyes and the dread pressing down on his shoulders. He knew this situation was no worse than usual. In fact, he was grateful that things had gone so smoothly. He would be bruised and in pain for a few days but at least there had been no blood drawn this time. And his father wasn't nearly as mad as he usually got.

He knew he should be happy for this turn of events. He told himself this over and over as he packed his stuff back up and made his way up to his room. It didn't help. The longer he sat there, staring out of his window, the more he cried. He hated losing something he never had. Hated it more than the pain, more than his father and even more than his life. Gaibriel laid down on his bed, burying his face in his pillow and let himself cry.

---

"Hey, Ma."

"Jullien, honey!"

Jullien smiled warmly and bent to hug Judy's mom. She smelled faintly of cookies. He blushed as his stomach rumbled.

"You hungry? You know you can eat here anytime you want," she said, holding him at arm's length.

Jullien nodded. "Of course, Ma. I just came straight here instead of eating supper like I usually do."

She shook a finger good naturedly at him. "There'll be no skipping meals here, Mr. Skin and Bones. Take a seat while I fix you up a plate and re-heat it. Judy, you make sure he doesn't take off."

She turned on her heel after that and went into the kitchen. Jullien could hear her fumbling around and finally took a seat at the table beside Judy.

"Better be careful," she said, lifting her shirt and poking her stomach. "She's gonna have ya lookin' like me soon."

Jullien rolled his eyes. "Oh, you are so not fat, Judy."

"I know. But if your stomach looked like mine, you'd be throwing a royal bitch fit. I swear sometimes she's half Italian. So, anyway, what brings you here this late?"

Jullien rested his arms on the table and shrugged. "Just felt like some company. You know I like it here."

"Mooooom! Judy took my clothes again!" Amanda's voice rang down the stairwell and filled the dining room they were in.

"Judith Lynn, did you really?"

Judy rolled her eyes and got up from the table. "I don't know what you see in this place, Jules.... Yes, mom, I'm going to give it back now."

"Mom, tell her she can't keep doin' that!!"

"Judy, you ca-"

"I know, I know..." Judy jogged up the stairs and a few moments later Jullien could hear the two of them faintly bickering back and forth. Jullien just smiled and shook his head. He liked it here. Sometimes his own apartment got so quiet. Even the sound of the two sisters arguing over if some stain was or was not there before Judy borrowed her clothes was comforting to him.

"I wasn't sure what you'd like," Judy's mom said as she came back into the dining room, a plate in one hand a glass in the other. "So don't feel bad if you don't want to eat something. It's nothing special, just what we had for supper tonight." She sat the plate and drink down in front of him.

"Thanks, Ma. It looks delicious. You know I love your cooking."

She smiled and ruffled his hair a little on her way out into the living room. Jullien had only taken a few bites before Judy came thumping back down the stairs and flopped into the chair beside him with a grumpy expression.

"Little sisters," she muttered.

Jullien just shook his head. He ate in silence while Judy filled him in on the whole sweater situation and picked a little off of his plate. He was about halfway through when his cell phone rang. Giving Judy a puzzled expression, he pulled it out of his pocket and answered it.

The connection was bad, as it usually was in houses, and it was hard to make out what the other person had said. It sounded almost like 'I need to get out.'

Jullien thought at first it was a prank call. "Hold on a minute," he said, getting up and making his way out the front door. The static went away as soon as he stepped on the porch. "Sorry, bad connection. Say that again."

"I'm sorry... I probably shouldn't have called... I... uh... Well, you told me I could and I just thought..."

Jullien didn't recognize the voice but he knew who it was. "Gaib? That you?"

"Y-yeah..."

Jullien's heart jumped in his throat and he immediately started to worry. "Where are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm at a payphone near your apartment. And I'm fine.... well, as fine as I can be, I guess..."

Jullien didn't need to ask him to clarify that comment. He was pretty sure he already knew. "Gaib, go to the apartment building, okay? Sit outside on the front steps. I'll be there in a few minutes. Don't go anywhere and stay in the lights, okay?"

"I will... Thanks, Jullien."

"Don't mention it. I'll be right there." He closed his phone and shoved it back in his pocket. He opened the front door and stuck his head in. "Ma, tell Judy I had to run."

She didn't miss the worried expression on his face and stood up. "Jullien, is there something wrong?"

"That boy she told you about... Gaibriel?"

She nodded.

"He just called me. I don't know what's going on but he's waiting for me at my apartment. Something's gotta be wrong for him to do that."

"Jullien, I want you to bring him here."

"Ma, I can't. He's scared out of his mind to begin with."

"Then calm him. I want to meet him. Please, Jullien. I may be able to help. You know I'd never do anything to put him in danger."

Jullien sighed but nodded. "Okay, Ma. I'll talk to him and see. But I'll only bring him over if he's okay with it."

"Fair enough. Go, hurry." She shooed him off as Judy came into the kitchen.

"What's going on?"

"Ask your mom, I gotta go," Jullien said and left before Judy had the chance to say anything else. He ran to his car and made his way quickly to his apartment building.