The one thing that keeps me sane...

DISCLAIMER : THIS IS REALLY GETTING ANNOYING NOW...OKAY...MINE MINE MINE MINE...
STORY : MINE
CHARACTERS : MINE
EVERYTHING ELSE THAT I HAVE IN THIS STORY : MINE
YOU STEAL IT : KAYLEE GETS PISSED OFF AND YOU FEEL HER WRATH
GET IT?...GOT IT?!?...GOOD!

ONWARDS ------------>

It took about a half our for them to all get ready, get Jacoby, and get over to the hospital. By which time Laraine was freaking out and Alex was very afraid his cousin was going to hyperventilate and die or something. He had an arm around Laraine the whole time, even when Jacoby was in the car and sitting in Laraine’s lap, trying to comfort him and tell him everything was going to be okay.

“Benjamin Allster.” Laraine practically yelled as he ran up to the emergency room desk.

The woman typed on her computer, at way to slow a pace for Laraine’s liking. “The doctors aren’t letting anyone in right now. They will come out and tell you how he is soon enough though.”

Laraine had to keep himself from yelling at the stupid bitch not to smile at him like that. Did she not realize she was working in the emergency room? You do not smile at someone who is concerned like he was. You just didn’t! It pissed him off to see her smiling when Ben was in there, for all Laraine knew, fighting for his life.

“Come on Lainy.” Alex came up and sort of pulled Laraine towards the waiting room. “Hey, come on.”

Reluctantly Laraine went with Alex and they all sat down in the waiting room with Michael. They all sat there, Alex still by Laraine with his arm around him, just waiting. Jess and Cathy came in soon after, since Michael had called them after he’d called Laraine, and Cathy sat on the other side of Laraine.

“How are you?” Cathy asked Laraine, seeing his hands shaking in his lap.

Laraine just kind of shrugged. “Scared...” he looked up at Cathy. “I’m really scared.”

Alex leaned his head against his cousin’s shoulder and smiled at Zak as the guy sat next to him. “Do you want anything?” Cathy asked Laraine. “I’m gonna go get something to drink.”

“No thank you.” Laraine answered.

They all sat in there for around a half hour, Laraine getting more and more antsy by the second. Alex had suggested Laraine and him taking a walk and Laraine had actually considered it for about two seconds before realizing that if he left that meant that he wouldn’t be able to find out what was going on with Ben. So the whole walking idea was completely shot down.

The door opened a little while later and Laraine jumped up from where he was sitting thinking it was a doctor. His shoulders visibly dropped as they saw it was just some guy. Some guy who completely scanned all of them before his eyes seemed to decide on Laraine.

“Laraine?” he asked and Laraine nodded. “Your uncle sent me to come and have a talk with you. Please follow me.”

Laraine looked around at the others before following the man outside, where a very pretty black mustang was sitting. “Do you know what happened to Benjamin? Is that why you are here?”

“I know what happened to him.” the man answered and opened the door for Laraine. “Get in and I’ll tell you everything.”

“I have to stay here.” Laraine argued. “I want to know if he’s okay.”

The man smirked. “He’ll be fine. Trust me. Your uncle sent me over here to make sure you find out just what is going on. Your uncle has a plan and all you have to do is follow it.”

For a moment Laraine seemed to hesitate. “And you swear on your life that Benjamin is okay?”
“On my life.” he nodded. “Now get in the car.”

Cautiously Laraine slid into the car and sat there as the man walked around to the other door. Once he slid in he started the car and they began to drive, Laraine immediately putting on his seat belt. “Who are you?” Laraine asked him.

“Derek.” he answered. “I’ve worked for your uncle for a long time. Even worked with Ben a while back.” he smirked at the confused look on Laraine’s face. “You didn’t know Ben worked for your uncle did you?”

“No.” Laraine answered, shaking his head. “I didn’t know that. But, what happened to Benjamin? Why is he in the hospital?”

A sigh left Derek. “Kid, your uncle may never see you but your pretty much all he talks about. He doesn’t have any kids or anything of his own and so you are like...his prized relative. Especially when you were younger, your dad would always bring you around to see him. Your uncle told Ben that if he ever did anything to hurt you that he would get it.” he glanced over to see Laraine had kind of gotten where this was headed. “Well, he found out that Ben had dumped you and that you were upset. So he went and had a word with Ben.”

Laraine turned to Derek shocked. “He put him in the hospital!!! Having a talk with him is the understatement of the century! I never wanted this! Why wouldn’t my uncle have come to me first to see what I said about this? Of course Benjamin hurt me by doing this and I can’t stand not being with him but I would never want him put in the hospital because of me!!! NEVER!!!”

“Calm down there.” Derek told him. “I don’t make the orders I just take them. I was just told to come get you. That’s all he said.”

“Why did you have to come get me?” Laraine asked him. “Tell me what my uncle is planning! I know you know!”

Derek looked over Laraine a moment, which of course was his undoing. Trik had told him not to give into the boy and that Laraine could be very convincing but Derek hadn’t thought he be swayed by just that look. Like a fucking four-year-old, you couldn’t say no! “I’m kind of kidnaping your right now.”

“WHAT?!?” Laraine screamed. “What do you mean you are kidnaping me? My mother will kill you! I might kill you!”

That had been ear piercing. “Listen kid, your uncle is doing this to get you back with Ben.” Laraine kind of calmed down, clearly a little lost. “Clearly Ben is being a complete dip by leaving you since you both still want each other, it’s not hard to see. So, your uncle just figures that if Ben thinks you’ve been kidnaped he’ll realize what a shit he is for leaving you and...well, something like that. I’m pretty sure your uncle is planning on telling your mom what is going on, if he hasn’t already.”

For a moment Laraine just kind of sat there in shock. “Why all of a sudden are people trying to rule my life? I was doing just fine before. I’m old enough to make my own choices and get hurt. I’ll live.”

“Kid, trust me, the last thing I wanted to do today was play matchmaker.” Derek groaned. “This was so not in the job description.”

They turned onto a gravel road and drove about fifteen minutes up into absolutely no where before coming to the biggest house Laraine have ever seen in his life. “Is this where my uncle lives?”

Derek parked the car at the front door and they got out. “Yep, this is where he lives. At least you’ll be kidnapped in style.”

They walked into the house, Laraine immediately taking off his shoes cause he was NOT getting dirt on anything. There were voices coming from somewhere in the back and Derek told Laraine to wait in the living room (which he showed him was the giant room on the right) and he’d go get his uncle. Laraine just nodded and walked into the living room. He was very content just standing in the middle of it so he wouldn’t break or get something on anything in there. The glass sitting on the coffee table alone probably cost more than his own house.

“Lain.” he turned to see his uncle standing there. “So nice of you to agree to come along.”

“That was before I knew I was being kidnapped and that you put Benjamin in the hospital!” Laraine snapped at him. “What in the world are you thinking? You put him in the hospital and then fake kidnap me?”

Trik just smiled. “You will thank me when the time comes Laraine. Of course not for putting Ben in the hospital, I can see where you would get upset with that but for the kidnaping thing. You will thank me.” he turned and poured himself something to drink. “I don’t expect you to understand how these things go Lain. After all it was made a point never to get you involved with anything that I do. However, when you date someone that I can get a hold of and I know things change, especially with your father not around anymore.”

Laraine clenched his fists. “I don’t need to understand anything about you or your life to know what you are doing is wrong! My mom is going to freak out on you! I hope you realize that.”

“I called your mom and talked to her earlier.” Trik told him. “I told her exactly what was going on and she told me just not to hurt you.” he sat down in a chair and motioned for Laraine to sit, which he did on the couch. “All we have to do is wait for Ben.”

For a moment Laraine was silent. “Benjamin worked for you...” he saw Trik nod. “What did he do?”

The man took a drink from the glass and his faced crunched a little telling Laraine it was most likely vodka. “I think that is something for Ben to discuss with you. I know you’d rather hear it from him then me.”

“Tell me!” Laraine snapped. “I want to know right this moment! I at least deserve that after all of this! I’m sick and tired of people lying to me!”

“Alright...but you may not like it...” Trik warned.


flashback...to the not so distant past...Ben is seventeen-ish


The lights on the corner of the street flickered into the night. A shadowy figure stood just in the shadows, occasionally getting hit by a ray of light that would reflect light of mismatched eyes. A cigarette was placed between two slightly parted lips, smoke leaving the mouth to float up into the sky and vanish.

Someone else walked around the corner and stopped to stand next to him. “How are you?” the man asked.
“Seen better days.” he answered and flicked the cigarette to the ground. “What do you want?”

The guy laughed. “I was worried about you kid. I was looking for you everywhere but no one said they had seen you. I got a little more worried when you weren’t at the beach. What’s up Benjamin?”

Ben looked at the guy. “Nothing. Just needed to get out. Take a breath. You know what that’s like Aaron.”

“Yeah, I do. I do it right before something big.” Aaron smirked. “Trik asked you to do away with someone didn’t he?”

“Yeah.” Ben muttered. “I don’t know if I could do that. I never realized...I didn’t think he actually had people killed.”

That made Aaron laugh again. “You sound like me when Trik gave me my first job. Hey, yah get used to it love.”

A smirk crossed Ben’s face. “Do you have to call me that?”

“Love?” Aaron asked and Ben nodded. “No one ever call you that before?”

“No.” Ben answered. “If you don’t stop calling me that I might take to using it.”

The man slid an arm around Ben’s waist and pulled their bodies together. “Would that be so bad? I’d like to hear some affection out of you one of these days.”

Ben looked away from him. “I’m not into affection Aaron. You know that.”

“Never gonna love?” Aaron asked him, toying with Ben’s hair. “Darlin’ you gotta let someone in sometime. If not me than someone else.”

A chuckle came from Ben. “You sayin’ you love me Aaron? Bull shit.”

The guy shrugged. “Call it what you will. So, who you killin’?”

That immediately brought the mood down. “Jackson? All I have is a last name and an address.”

“Well lets go than.” Aaron told him. “Better to get it over with huh love?”

They made their way to the house and stood outside for a minute. Ben was beyond scared. The moment Aaron broke the lock to get inside Ben felt his heart drop into his stomach. What was he doing? How had he got mixed into this? Was every step he was taking just leading him further and further into the very same hell he was trying so hard to escape?

“Benjamin.” Aaron knocked him out of his thought and Ben realized there were standing beside the sleeping man, Aaron holding out a silencer for him to put on his gun. “Go on.”

With a shaking hand Ben took the silencer and put it on his gun. He stood there a moment, pointing it at the man sleeping before him, and didn’t move. “Aaron I can’t do it.” he whispered. “I can’t.”

“Benjamin don’t do this now!” Aaron hissed. “Do it before he wakes up and things get messy!” Ben didn’t move, he couldn’t move. “Benjamin!” Aaron grabbed Ben’s arm and Ben dropped the gun.

“What?” the man in the bed sat up and looked around. “Who are you? What are you-” he got out before Aaron grabbed the gun and shot him right between the eyes.

Slowly Ben backed against the wall and slid down it as tears filled his eyes. What had he done? He knew he hadn’t actually killed that man but it felt like he had. He’d been given the order and it was his fault this man was dead! He’d brought Aaron with him and the man might have lived it he hadn’t.

“Come on love.” Aaron said pulled Ben up. “Lets go.”

Aaron brought Ben back to his place, where they usually ended up when Ben was a mess. Aaron sat him down on the bed and went to get something from the back. There were still tears running down Ben’s face. He turned his head away from Aaron as the guy wrapped something around his upper arm. He winced as he felt the needle enter and then Aaron slipped into the back again.

When Aaron came back he sat by Ben and held him until the boy became relaxed and numb against him. The moment Ben calmed Aaron began to kiss him, Ben not fighting back at all. He pulled the boy down so Ben was on his knees in front of him and began to undo his pants.

“Aaron no...” Ben argued and pulled away a little.

“Come on sugah.” Aaron grabbed Ben’s chin and smiled at him. “You need to relax and lets have some fun.”

Ben pulled back as Aaron tried to force his head down. “Aaron I said no...”

With that Aaron back handed Ben hard, sending him strait to the floor. He stood up and fixed his pants as he walked over to take a drink. “Then go on and get out.” Ben slowly pushed himself so he was sitting, the room doing spins around him. “Did you hear me you pathetic little slut? Get out!”

“I’m not a slut!” Ben yelled at him.

Aaron walked over and grabbed Ben’s chin hard. “Oh your not are you?” he smacked Ben again, though he didn’t let go of the boy’s chin. “And you don’t think I don’t know you go out and sleep with guys? Please, I’m not stupid Benjamin.”

“I don’t...” Ben argued. “I haven’t...”

“Sure...” Aaron pushed him to the floor. “Get the fuck out of my apartment.”

Ben pushed himself up again. “Aaron...please don’t kick me out...please...”

The man looked back at him. “You wanna stay here?”

“Yes...please...” Ben answered.

“Than get your cute little ass over here.” Aaron said and sat down on the bed. Ben crawled over to him and looked up at Aaron. “Spoiled little brat.” Aaron pulled Ben up and kissed him. “Anyone else would have thrown you out love.”

Ben nodded. “I know...”

Aaron licked Ben’s lips. “Your lucky you taste so sweet sugah.”


Ben at nineteen


Ben kicked the door open and stepped inside. He stood there looked around before Aaron came out of the back. Aaron eyed him funny a moment. “What are you doing here Benjamin?”

“I got a new order from Trik.” Ben muttered walking closer to Aaron. “Came here to see if you wanted to help me with it Aaron.”

That made Aaron laugh. “Still having problems killing people love? I’d have thought you were used to it by now, after two years.”

A smirk crossed Ben’s lips as he pressed himself against Aaron. “I just like you there with me Aaron.” he lowered his head and kissed Aaron’s neck. Aaron’s eyes widened and Ben smirked. “Enjoy hell, sugah.” Ben said and stepped away.

Aaron fell to the ground and Ben dropped the gun on the floor next to him. “You dirty whore...” Aaron hissed at him. “What the fuck is this?”

Getting on his knees Ben leaned down so he was close to Aaron. “Just an order, love.” he kissed Aaron’s lips. “Who tastes sweet now?”

With that Ben stood and left the apartments. He walked down the street, no real destination in sight. Just then a black limo pulled up beside him and the door opened. Ben slid inside and came face to face with Trik.

“Take care of it?” Trik asked him, handing Ben a drink. Ben nodded and brushed his hair from his face. “Good. No one who works for me leaks information out. I make an example out of people who I can’t trust Ben. Remember that.”

“Yeah.” Ben muttered and took a drink from the glass. It was vodka, though Ben could drink the stuff for hours and it wouldn’t burn his throat. “He’s dead.”

Trik smirked. “Good. I like you Ben.” he lit a cigarette. “You have potential in this business. Don’t disappoint me.”

“I wont.” Ben told him.

Ben at twenty

Jess was having a flipping fit. She just had to drag him to some stupid high school dance. Why? Ben didn’t know why. All he knew was that Jess was way to pleased with herself. About fifteen minutes into the dance Ben went to the bathroom and wet his face. God he hadn’t gone to these dances when he had been in high school so he sure as hell didn’t know why he had accepted to come to this one.

“Ben, I want you to meet someone!” Jess said seeing him come back into the room. “Laraine!” she went to go grab someone from a group of people.

That was just what Ben wanted. Jess had brought him to a dance to hook him up with some high school chick that he was probably just gonna dump later on that night. “Hi.” he looked back and his eyes widened seeing a blonde boy standing there with Jess. “I’m Laraine.”

“Benjamin.” Ben said without even realizing it. “Nice to meet you.”

Laraine smiled. “It’s nice to meet you too, Benjamin.”

After the dance Ben told them all goodbye, told Laraine maybe they could hang out again sometime, and headed off. He needed to find Trik and find him fast. However, going to his house was not an option and Ben hated going to the warehouse. It just creped the shit out of him. That was probably where he was going to have to go though.

“I’m done.” Ben told Trik as the two stood in Trik’s office. “You have my word that no one will ever hear a word about this from me but I can’t do this anymore.”

Trik smirked. “Have you found something more interesting than this Ben?”

That made Ben smile also. “You could say that.”

“Just know Ben,” Trik warned him. “You can quit the job but what you’ve done will never go away.”

“Trust me...I know.” Ben muttered and left the building.


present time...back with Laraine

“Benjamin...” Laraine whispered. “I...” he looked at his uncle. “Benjamin...that was him?”

Trik nodded and took another drink from his glass. “Yeah, that was Ben. At least...that was him until he met you.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Hey there all. I believe next chapter will be with Ben in the hospital and everyone freakin' out about where Laraine has gone to...
I hope that gave you a little insight to Ben's not so decent past. If I messed up on any of the ages that Ben was I'm sorry...it's hard to keep up with that child and I'm writing the damn story! I think I got it about right though. Anyway, review please! I love reviews!
~KaLi