Erotic Fiction

Apollonious had been making calls for a couple of weeks on the ground line, I had noticed he didn’t bother to hide that fact. He wanted to get caught, I thought, from how obvious he made it seem. I didn’t want to ask him about it, and I felt a pang of regret when I decided I was going to set up a small recorder near the phone.
When I got to work, I played the recording.
“Yeah, hi. I’m still here. No, he hasn’t. I’ll see what I can do about that. If he doesn’t, I will.” Loni’s voice was all business and chilling.
“He’ll do it soon. Don’t worry about a thing, I’ve got it under control, no need to come and get me. No, he’s oblivious. Don’t you think I know that? Of course, I will. Yes. Just watch the news.” I turned off the recording and shook my head. Was he using me? That wouldn’t surprise me, him being just like everyone else in my past, using me for my money, my power, my looks. I told the boss I couldn’t keep working that day, something personal came up and I had to go out of town immediately. The boss nodded blankly and told me that he’d write it off as family death. At least one person appreciated my work enough to bend things for me.
I drove home and walked in, tossing the recorder to Apollonious. He caught it and raised an eyebrow. I said simply, “I’m going to be going out for a bit. Think things over, Loni, do you really want to be like everyone else?” I walked into my bedroom, and took my hunter’s knife out of it’s lock box, secreting it in my suit’s inner pocket. He walked in, the recording still playing while in his hand.
“It’s not how it sounds, Alexia.”
“I don’t need an explaination, I need time alone.” My voice was as distant as my thoughts. He sighed and walked into the living room, letting me continue with my preperations. I slipped on a pair of dress shoes and walked back out of the apartment, leaving Loni with his own thoughts.
I drove down the highway with no particular destination. I didn’t know what I was going to do, and I didn’t know where I was going to go.
I ended up in philidelphia, at a diner. I ate some dinner, thinking everything through. Could he have been lying to me? Was he able to lie to me? And to go behind my back and tell someone that I was going to do something without asking me, that was what bothered me the most. My cell phone rang. It was Loni.
“Hello Appolonious.”
“Alexia, before you say anything I just wanted to tell you what it was all about.”
“Go ahead.” I put the phone on the table as he started to explain himself. I ate the steak on my partially dirty plate. They barely bothered to wash the silverware with which I was eating. After five minutes of Loni rambling, I picked up the phone again and stopped him.
“Look, I don’t care what happened, but by you doing this without talking to me, it’s a heavy let down. I think it’s only fair that you discuss these things with me before going off and making plans for what I’m supposed to do without my even knowing.” I took a drink of the coffee and spit out grinds that floated in from it.
“I know that. You’re just so busy all the time, and I don’t know how to talk to you without interrupting anything.”
“What, are you scared that I’ll retaliate? Come on, Loni, when was the last time I did anything to harm you? Think about it.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“But that’s how you feel.” There was silence on the line for a moment.
“Where are you, anyway?” He asked.
“Philly. I’ll be coming back if you promise me to do one thing before I get there. You must call them back and tell them I am not your puppet, or theirs. They are to respect my wishes and let me do whatever it is they had planned for me on my own time. I do not take orders from anyone, and if they, or you, tell me to do anything again, I will sever all ties the only way I know how.”
“I understand. Please get back soon.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” I hung up and finished my dinner. I paid for it, leaving the waitress a small tip, before heading out to my car. I rubbed my temples. The dark part of me was aching to be unleashed, but I was forcing it down. I could not do that, not right now. I had too many things on my mind to be finding a woman. Not yet, at least. The dark part whispered to me, “There’s another way to fill that void you’re feeling. Another way.” I grinned a bit, thinking about how it was time to tip the scales yet again.
I got home at quarter to 10 pm, Loni was sitting on the couch, watching television, a glass of whiskey sat before him on the table, half finished. I set down my keys and closed the door, taking off my coat and hanging it up. My mood switched from light to dark as soon as I saw him.
“Did you do as I asked?”
“Yes.”
“And if I find out otherwise, you know what will happen.”
“Yes, I do.” He shivered.
“And do you also know that this is cause for retribution?”
“I do. Alexia, please.”
“Please? You’re asking ME to cater to YOU?” I laughed. He steeled himself and looked at me, his eyes pleading, bringing back a memory of that first night. I shook my head. “No, Appolonious, You won’t be safe until I exact my retribution.”
“What.. How will you do that, exactly?”
“By breaking a promise. The only promise I’ve ever made.”
“Promise.” He winced as he realized what I meant. I went to the kitchen and poured a glass of wine for myself, drinking half before I reached my chair. I stood behind it, holding the back with such force that my knuckles were white. Loni just stared.
“Yes, and while I break that promise, I want to give you the assurance that I will never again harm you.”
“Does that mean that You’re…”
“No, Loni, you’re much too precious to me to do to you as I have done to so many others. I will not slaughter you as I have invested too much faith, time, and emotion in you to let you go. No, Loni, you will be alive. Although , if I were you, I would never make the mistake of tricking me again.” He looked away, his face wrenched in a flurry of emotions, most of them fear-based. I finished the glass of wine in one draught, before setting it down on the shelf behind the chair. I walked up to him, holding out my hand.
“Brace yourself, Appolonious Elysium. You will need courage to succeed in satisfying me tonight, and there will be no protesting, or you’ll end up angering me. That would not be good.”
“May I only ask one thing?” his voice wavered.
“Yes.”
“Could you not.. bring the knife?” he shivered once more. I took the knife out of my pocket, flipping it open.
“What, this? If that would make you feel safe, certainly.” I set it on the table beside his whiskey. He took my hand. And thus, I led him to my room.

My mind blanks now, as to what happened after the door was closed and he undressed. All I remember is his look of defeat, his pitiable expression as I put my hands upon his hips and positioned myself behind him.

I snapped back to reality in the shower. I was holding Loni close to my body and he was crying. I smoothed my hand over his hair, and kissed his forehead. “I apologize if I caused you any undue harm.” I whispered, laying my head upon his, hugging him tight. He sobbed into my chest, and it was all I could do to stop myself from crying with him. I whispered “Never again, Loni.” He just nodded. I murmered “I will never do that again. Not to you. Never to you.” I clung to him.
“Alexia, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I never should have told them you’d be taking care of the two ministry members.”
“I will, in my own time.” I rubbed his back and let him go. He looked down, with a frown.
“Alexia, you said you don’t know the meaning of love.”
“Yes?”
“It’s a stupid emotion. It makes you do stupid, fucked up things.”
“Most emotions do.”
“Love especially. You love me, though. You have no reason to, you have no need for it, but you do.”
“Do I?”
“At least that’s how I see it. Can you tell me your feelings?” I stood in thought for a moment, searching my mind for the words, the expressions for my feelings.
“I don’t know what I feel, or what I want right now.” I rubbed my forehead and he looked at me.
“Yeah, how do you feel about me?”
“You’re an assknuckle. A stupid, over-the-top flamer. You’re a lush, a slut, You’re a fucking pain in the ass, but I put up with you because you’ve made me content.”
“Is that the only reason?” he poked my chest and an impish grin crawled onto his face.
“You’re trying to get me to admit I love you. I don’t know that. I don’t even know the emotion. I don’t think I can even have those feelings after all that’s happened to me, but I can say one thing for certain. You are important to me, and whatever feeling I do have towards you is positive.” I put my hand on his shoulder and he smiled.
“You love me, you big queer.” He jabbed his fingers into my chest and jumped out of the shower. I rubbed the spot where he hit a bundle of nerves, grimacing. He wrapped a towel around himself and walked out of the bathroom, leaving me to think.
“He’s stronger than he pretends to be.” I said aloud.