Imaginary Friend

Jacob leaned backwards against his shut front door, heart pounding painfully, his apartment behind him and seeming suddenly so far away. What was he to do? He couldn't just...not go to work. Could he? He'd never taken a sick day before. Not even that morning after Abel had first touched him as the hands, even though his mental state had been shot, he'd still gone to work as normal, hoping he'd only dreamed the nighttime fondling.

But, of course, it hadn't been a dream, and the hands had come back. Jacob remembered the fear he'd felt. And the exhilaration. He remembered the soft sweet, reverent way those hands had made love to him. And he remembered how passionate Abel had been when they'd first had actual sex.

And how dearly his phantom would cling to him.

As if he were the only person with any meaning in the world.

...And he'd just walked out on him and left him alone.

Without even a kiss good-bye.

Because he'd claimed he'd had to go to work.

So...work was more important?

God, what was he thinking?

Okay, so maybe he had freaked out a little bit. Maybe he had used work as an escape. Because...How could someone have been there the whole time? His whole life? It was mortifying and terrifying to think every single insignificant thing he'd ever done had been witnessed.

But...still...to just leave like that...Leaving poor Abel all alone, when he didn't even know how to take care of himself.

What a coward Jacob was. To escape because he'd been a little freaked out. How shameful.

Abruptly, Jacob made up his mind, spinning around and unlocking his door with his keys still in hand, and then he opened the door, expecting Abel to be there, having heard the lock.

But Abel was nowhere to be seen.

Even though just a moment ago, he'd been standing in the foyer, staring at Jacob like a betrayed puppy who'd just been denied by his master.

Jacob felt awful, and increasingly sick with how he had just left. Just gotten dressed and ready for work even though Abel had only been 'born' the night before.

Not even more than 10 hours ago.

And Jacob just left him? How horrible a lover does one have to be to be as bad as that? No even a lover, but even just as a person? It was rotten.

Jacob hoped Abel would forgive him.

Quickly and efficiently, he searched through his various rooms, coming to his bedroom last. The door was shut and he knew he'd left it open this morning.

Inside was where Abel was hiding, as an almost unrecognizable lump burrowed under all of Jacob's sheets and shaking. Enough to be visible from the doorway.

And sobbing.

Jacob could hear the gut-wrenching cries, and each one was like a knife to his gut, steadily cutting deeper.

Poor Abel.

He rushed to the bed and knelt on the mattress, softly whispering the other's name and watching that shaking form grow still.

Abruptly the sheet was thrown off and Abel was sitting up like a bolt of lightning, body all rigid and tense. He gawked at Jacob, completely shocked-looking.

Then Abel pitched himself forward, throwing his arms around Jacob's waist and crashing into him. “Ja-Ja-Jacob?!” He cried, breath hiccuping roughly and his tears soaking through Jacob's shirt.

Not expecting such an intense reaction, Jacob knelt there in shock for a moment. Then he came to his senses and returned the embrace, pulling Abel closer and tucking over him.

“I'm so sorry, Abel.” Jacob murmured, bowing down his head to rest his chin on Abel's head. “I shouldn't have left you.”

“You...” Abel's voice was shaky and hoarse. “-came back?”

“Yes.” Jacob whispered back apologetically, one arm squeezing Abel tighter and the other rubbing softly through his hair. His thick dark brown hair, which Jacob had only been able to notice this morning when the sun had risen. Last night had been too dark because of Abel's new eyes. “I really shouldn't have left at all.”

“But...” Abel was shaking again, hugging tight around Jacob's middle and seemingly trying to melt into his body. “I didn't know you could do that...”

“Do what?” Jacob asked, fingers smoothing down to cup Abel's ear and gently stroke the curve of it.

With a sniffle, Abel spoke softly. “Come back.”

Jacob's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. “Why wouldn't I be able to?”

“Because you no longer have to.”

“Oh Abel...” Jacob tsked and shook his head. “If you think I'm going to desert you the first moment I get, you're wrong.” Then he flushed, realizing that's pretty much what he'd done already this morning. “Well, what I mean is, there's no reason I wouldn't come back to you. Regardless of the fact that I live here, I want to come back to you. I don't like to leave you.”

“But you did.” Abel pointed out bleakly, nuzzling into Jacob's chest and breathing deeply, as if taking in his scent.

“Well...I had to go to work.”

“But now you are here instead.” Abel mumbled, face squished in Jacob's chest.

“I couldn't do it.” He admitted, wrapping both arms tight around Abel's shoulders. “I got outside the door and realized I had no right to leave you. You've just become this new person and you need me now.”

“I need you always.” Abel sighed, beginning to shake again. “Please...Stop leaving me.”

“Aww, Abel, it's okay. Don't start to cry again. I'm right here, I'm with you, I'm not going anywhere today. I'll call into work and let them know I can't go in today, alright?”

Abel nodded, refusing to let go his hold on Jacob's torso and waist, as if he expected Jacob to just escape the moment he released him.

How heart-breaking.

Without making the other let go, Jacob reached one-handed to the phone he kept on his bedside table, and speed-dialed his workplace, bringing the phone to his ear and waiting for the secretary to pick up.

Abel was still shaking in his arms, and he pet down his lover's back, trying his best to soothe him. Abel must be terrified. There was no way Jacob could leave him alone today.

Or...tomorrow, for that matter

The secretary picked up, answering brightly, and Jacob told her his name, and asked to speak with his boss. She connected him immediately and he braced himself, knowing what he had to do.

[Hello Jacob!]
“Hello, Mr. Johnson.”
[Why are you calling? Aren't you usually in the office by now?]
“Well...Uh, I'm actually calling to let you know...I won't be able to come in today.”
[This is awfully short notice. Are you ill?]
“No...Actually, and I hate to do this, I really do, but I won't be able to come in for about a week.”

There were several moments of tense silence on the other line and Jacob held his breath. If he got fired for this...Well, he could get a new job but...He really didn't want to get fired.

[Jacob, may I ask why you need a week off?]
“Well...There's...been a death in my family.”

Jacob cringed, feeling immediately ashamed for telling such an awful lie. What if he somehow brought this to be now? What if the Gods of spite just killed someone in his family because he'd angered them with his lies?

[Oh Jacob, I'm sorry to hear that. Well, you've never missed a day before and I see you've got plenty of vacation time saved up, so there's no problem. I want you to know you have my condolences and your family too. I wish you peace and god bless. Just call Dana again if you need an extension of time off. Alright? I'll talk to you when I see you next. Goodbye.]

Jacob barely managed more than a mumbled farewell before the other line clicked and went dead. Had that actually just worked? He was off now? With no repercussions? Easy as that?

Jacob should play hooky more often.

Abel was staring up at him and Jacob met his eyes. “What?”

“Someone died?”

“What?! Uh...Ummm, no.”

“But you told Mr. Johnson that someone died.”

Jacob coughed awkwardly. “I uh...I lied.” He said in a rush, expecting to see disapproval in those brown orbs.

Abel just nodded and nestled back against his chest.

“You don't think bad of me? For lying?”

Abel shook his head. “Why would I?”

“Well...” Jacob was at a loss. “Because it's wrong?”

“Nothing you do is wrong.”

What? That was the most delusional thing Jacob had ever heard in his whole life. He was never wrong? Or more specifically, nothing he ever did was wrong? How inaccurate can one get?! Jacob was just as flawed as everyone else! Maybe more! Definitely more! He was practically a criminal!

...Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. But still, Jacob was definitely no saint. He made mistakes and had bad thoughts and passed judgment on people he had no right to pass judgment on.

“I am not always right, you know. I'm not-”

“You are perfect to me.” Abel clarified, tone leaving no room for argument. “I do not care what others think of you or what you even think of yourself. To me, you are perfect.”

Jacob had a hard time believing anything he did or had done in the past was instantly forgiven. Nobody was that nonjudgmental. Though...If Abel hadn't known a life other than through Jacob, then it sort of made sense that he didn't compare his actions to anyone else's norms.

Either way, it really didn't matter right now. Abel was in a fragile state of mind and Jacob had to focus on taking care of him, not playing a game of twenty questions. Right now, he had to nurture.

Gently disentangling himself from Abel's tight grip, and momentarily failing as Abel tried to keep hold, Jacob pulled back enough to glance down and meet Abel's eyes.

“So, you heard what I told my boss. I asked for a week off. I won't have to go back for a whole week, okay? Is that better? I'll be with you for seven uninterrupted days. Together, we'll work on getting you used to your body. And by the end, you might be used to the idea of letting me leave for a little bit.”

Or at least, he hoped by then.

Abel didn't look too convinced. But there was trust in his eyes and a hesitant smile on his lips.

It was enough for now. Jacob would be there for his lover, to help him learn. But today was only the first day, and nothing had to be done yet. Today could be for relaxing.

For enjoying each other.

With a reassuring smile, Jacob dipped down and lightly kissed Abel's mouth. “So, I've never taken time off from work before. What would you like to do today?”

TO BE CONTINUED