Pain and.. pain?

This chapter is sad so be warned!

Please review! Reviews help me write when I'm doubting my own work. This chapter was difficult to write but I hope you like it.




CHAPTER 13



Life settled down after the fight for a while. Dad was back to being grumpy and hating me, not letting me eat anything again. That was the reason why I was currently sneaking into the dimly lit kitchen in the middle of the night, trying not to make any noise. I was so hungry, my stomach had been cramping up for days and I just had to get something in it before I’d faint or something. The lack of food was making me feel weaker than usually and dad was getting violent towards me when I wasn’t cleaning quickly enough for his taste.

I stilled when I reached the fridge and listened carefully for a moment, making sure that dad was still asleep. I could hear his heavy drunken snoring coming from his bedroom down the hall and opened the fridge carefully. There wasn’t much there and I bit my lip nervously. Having to fill my stomach with just water for days was making me feel nauseous and I was looking for something salty. I closed the fridge feeling disappointed when I realized there wasn’t anything in there that I could steal without getting caught and beaten. I moved on to the cupboards and went through them quickly.

God damn it!

Why couldn’t dad have food in his cupboards like normal people?! Tears were threatening to escape from my eyes because of the frustration and I took a deep breath. Crying wouldn’t help shit. Once I had efficiently been through all the cabinets without finding anything I could take, I fell on the floor on my knees and let out a broken sob. I was just so hungry. I didn’t understand why dad hated me so much. Why did he want to starve me?

Big tears rolled down my cheeks and I brushed them away weakly, thinking about the Cave. I had been thinking about the grimy club a lot lately. I didn’t want to go back to whoring but I missed Tristan. And at the moment I missed the food. But more than anything I wanted to know that the little boy I had started to think of as my little brother was alright.

My eyes hit the bin in the corner and with a quiet sob I started to crawl across the room on my knees to get to it. It was the only chance I had. Maybe dad had thrown something still edible away. I opened the bin and flinched back at the smell of rotting food that assaulted my nose immediately. Through tear blurred eyes I peaked inside and looked for something, anything, I could eat. I noticed a corner of a half eaten piece of toast peaking from under a pile of eggshells and reached in to grab it. I was just about to touch the bred when the lights were turned on suddenly and I froze.

Oh shit.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” dad yelled from the doorway, his hair sticking up in odd angles and his eyes red from drinking. He stared at me by the bin, kneeling down on the floor with tear stricken face, for a moment before coming closer. I backed away from him, shaking my head violently and panicking big time.

“How many fucking times do I have to tell you to not to eat unless I say so?!” dad shouted and kicked me when he didn’t get a reply. I yelped at the sharp pain exploding in my ribs and curled up to protect myself from his punches.

Dad beat me up for a while before stopping and spitting on me.

“Go to your fucking room and stay there! You’re not coming out until I tell you to, got it?” he asked with a vicious tone and cowered in front of him.

“Y-Yes, s-sir.” I stuttered and waited until he backed away from me before forcing myself to move no matter how much it hurt. I dragged myself to my room and pressed my face against my mattress to silence the inevitable sobs forcing their way out.




In the end I cried myself to sleep, too exhausted to even cry anymore and slept restlessly for the last short hours before morning.

My whole body was hurting again and my hair was matted with blood. I had a nasty cut on the top of my head and it had been bleeding through the rest of the night. Dried blood was making the wound itchy and I tried not to scratch on it so I wouldn’t make it worse. Tears kept blurring my view but I didn’t let them out, I was tired of crying. I spent the day staring at the wall and sleeping for few minutes at a time. I couldn’t remember when I had last felt this depressed about my life. Sure, dad had always been violent but I was finally reaching the point where I didn’t care anymore and it scared me.

I heard people coming over in the evening and closed my eyes tiredly, waiting for Jonathan. I knew the man would come, he always did.

When my bedroom door finally opened, I was half asleep and didn’t want to be woken up. I felt Jonathan sit down next to me and settle his hand on my hip.

“Jason, are you hungry?” he asked and I didn’t move but answered barely audible.

“No.”

“Are you sure? Your.. your dad told me about last night. I know you’re hungry. Come on, sit up and eat.” Jonathan said and my body tensed when he mentioned dad. Slowly I turned around and pushed myself to sit up with a wince. Jonathan watched my bruised face and then noticed the dried blood in my hair.

“Jason? Are you hurt?” he asked and reached to touch my forehead. I winced at the touch and pulled away from him.

“I’m.. I’m okay.” I mumbled quietly and Jonathan handed me the paper bag from MacDonald’s before standing up quickly.

“Eat, I’ll be back in a minute.”

I stared at the bag in my lap numbly for a moment before opening it carefully. He had actually bought me food. It wasn’t just leftovers from everyone else’s food but an actual meal just for me. Something was going on and I didn’t like it. Jonathan was being weird, so was Steve and dad.. well, dad was back to being his normal violent drunken self but what had been up with him the past few days? Had I done something wrong?

I frowned at the bag in my lap and pulled out the soda before grabbing the burger and fries. I was eating slowly, not sure how my stomach could handle the greasy food after being basically empty for so long and when Jonathan returned, I had only finished half of my burger.

He looked at me and asked.

“You don’t like it?”

“Y-yes, sir. I.. I m-mean, J-Jonathan.” I stuttered and backed away into the corner when he came closer. I was afraid he’d want to fuck me again. That had to be the reason he had given me food. He never gave me food unless he wanted to fuck me or felt bad after hurting me.

Jonathan frowned at me and settled himself down on my mattress again, leaning closer and taking a hold of my chin so he could see the cut on my forehead better.

“I’m going to clean it for you. Your dad will be angry if you get sick again.” he said and opened the little red bag I just now really noticed that he had brought in. An emergency kit from a car.

I just sat still and let Jonathan do what he wanted. I was still holding the cooling burger in my hand and felt a wave of nausea roll over me. When Jonathan was done cleaning the cut, he put away the emergency kit and brushed my face with his hand.

“Finish your burger, Jason.” He said and I looked down on the burger in my hand. It was cold and disgusting.

“I- I’m n-not, h-hungry, J-Jonathan.” I stuttered and flinched away from the man, expecting to be hit.

Jonathan just watched me for a moment before nodding and taking the burger from me. He gathered all the food back into the paper bag before setting it aside and shifting on the mattress so he could pull me closer.

I closed my eyes when Jonathan’s arms wrapped around me and compressed a shudder when I felt his lips against my neck.

“You’ve gotten big. I remember when you were little and I could hold you easily.” Jonathan whispered into my neck and pushed his hand inside my shirt.

“Back then you were softer to touch. You’re too skinny now.” he continued and arranged me to sit in his lap, pulling my shirt over my head to reveal my body. “It’s not sexy to see your bones.” Jonathan sighed and pressed his lips in the middle of my chest.

I sat stiffly in his lap and wished that he’d just get on with it. He was behaving like one would with a lover but we were far from being lovers. I was just a toy to him and I didn’t care anymore.

Jonathan’s hand moved to the button of my jeans and a moment later I was naked in his lap. Jonathan took me in his hand and started to massage my cock slowly.

“You’ve grown here too. You really aren’t a little boy anymore, Jason, are you? I’m not sure if I can call you kid anymore.” he joked and tried to get me aroused. I remained limp in his hand and Jonathan frowned slightly. Just then he glanced up and saw my blank expression.

“Jason?”

“Yes, Jonathan?”

“Are you alright, Jason?” Jonathan asked and I nodded quietly. Like he cared.

“Yes, Jonathan.” I mumbled but Jonathan didn’t look convinced.

“But you are not aroused.”

“I never am, it hasn’t bothered you before.” I mumbled and Jonathan’s hold of me tightened to a painful level.

“That is not true, Jason.” Jonathan said and I just shrugged my shoulders slightly. What ever.

Jonathan’s eyes flared and he shook me roughly.

“That is not true, Jason! I do care for you!” he spat and threw me against the wall. I hit my already sore head against the wall and curled up to protect myself from Jonathan’s wrath. Jonathan grabbed my legs and pulled me away from the wall roughly before pinning me down against the mattress with his body.

“I have taken care of you your whole life, how dare you imply that I don’t care about you?!” Jonathan spat and smacked me hard across the face when I struggled underneath him. Tears burned in my eyes and I tried to protect my head from his raging fists.

“You fucking ungrateful little slut!” Jonathan screamed and smacked me again before opening his own pants.

“No. Please, don’t.” I begged quietly and tried to push him away. Jonathan wouldn’t budge and before I had time to fully realize, he had my legs forced apart. “Jonathan, please don’t.” I sobbed and screamed out loud when he forced himself in me.

“You fucking slut think that you can deny me.” Jonathan growled into my neck and held my legs in a bruising grip while thrusting in me violently.

I couldn’t have kept quiet even if my life had dependent on it. Tears ran freely down my cheeks and I dug my nails in Jonathan’s shoulders in a vain attempt to make him stop. He didn’t, not until he got his satisfaction. My ribs gave a painful twinge when Jonathan collapsed on me and I turned my face towards the wall so I wouldn’t have to see him. I couldn’t stop crying and by the feel of it, I was currently bleeding on my sheets.

When Jonathan finally rolled off of me and got up, I curled up on my side with a quiet moan of pain and closed my eyes. I couldn’t stop the tears from coming and pain radiated from my bottom to my whole body.

Jonathan wiped himself on my sheet casually before throwing the soiled piece of fabric on top of me and saying.

“You have to stop fighting me kid, you just get yourself hurt.”

I didn’t say anything and he just left without another word. A moment later dad came in and just watched me from the door for a moment before saying. “Clean up. You’re making a mess.”

I didn’t move and dad came closer.
“Did you hear me, Jason?”

“Yes, sir.” I mumbled quietly and when I still didn’t move, dad grumbled and yanked me up from the floor by my arm. I cried out in pain and looked at dad with tears in my eyes.

“Stop crying you little shit. My son is not a wimp.” dad spat at me and dragged me forward. It took all energy I had left to not to cry out in pain when dad dragged me across the apartment to the bathroom. He pushed me in the shower harshly, making me bump my head against the wall again. I collapsed on the floor with a wince and a cry and brought my arms over my head to protect myself.

“Pathetic.” Dad spat at me and left the bathroom.

I took a ragged breath and bit my lip carefully while sitting up slowly and reaching for the tabs. Warm water cascaded over me and I closed my eyes before resting my head on the floor. I couldn’t take this. A broken sob broke through again and I hugged my trembling body to myself, letting the water wash away the blood and semen from my skin. I knew I was still bleeding heavily from my bottom but didn’t feel like I had the energy to do anything about it. I was feeling dizzy and nauseous and the mere idea of moving made me want to throw up.

“Don’t use all the hot water!” Dad yelled from the livingroom and I tried reaching up to turn off the shower. A cry of pain escaped my lips and I gave up. I couldn’t do this.

A moment later dad stormed back into the bathroom and glared at me furiously.

“Did you hear me?! I told you to turn the fucking water off!” he spat at me and kicked me in the stomach while turning off the water himself. My whole body was trembling uncontrollably and I just couldn’t bring myself to move even though I knew that dad was furious at me.

“You little piece of shit.” Dad growled under his breath and nudged my head with his shoe. “Get up! Get up now or I swear to God I’ll send your ass back to the Cave!” He yelled then and I opened my mouth to say something.

The Cave. Tristan.

I opened my eyes slowly and stared at the bathroom wall with blurry eyes. Dad was still talking to me but I couldn’t .. I couldn’t hear him. Wait, what was wrong with my ears?

“Hey, are you even fucking listening to me?!” Dad growled at me and bent down to grab my arm. He yanked me off the floor in an attempt to get me on my feet but I couldn’t get my limbs to work. Dad glared at me furiously for a moment before noticing how pale I was.

“Jason?” He asked a bit calmer now and rattled me when I didn’t answer him. I tried shaking my head to clear my mind but somehow my head just lolled to the side. Dad took a hold of my chin and turned my head towards him harshly.

“Jason, look at me!”

I opened my eyes slowly and tried to look at him.

Dad took one glance at my eyes before swearing loudly.

“Fuck! Jason?!”

My eyes rolled back in my head and dad swore again.

“God damn it!”

I got dragged out of the bathroom and back to my room. Dad dropped me on my mattress before storming out of the room and I just let myself fall into the darkness. I was too tired to fight it.