Devil May Love

Gaibriel held his breath as the phone rang. Once... twice... the third ring was cut off in mid-chime.

"Hello? Gaibriel?"

Gaibriel's voice got stuck in his throat. He really had been expecting the call. Maybe even waiting for it. A small part of him hoped he had been.

"Hello?"

"S-sorry. It's me. Gaibriel, I mean. Amanda, she, uh, she told me you wanted me to call." Gaibriel winced as his voice faltered and cleared his throat quietly. Now, not only did he feel like a silly little kid; he sounded like one too.

He could hear Jullien laugh a little on the other end. "Yeah, I did," he said. "How are you? I've been so worried. The way you ran out last time and that bruise... Are you okay?"

Gaibriel smiled. All of Jullien's words came out rushed and emotional. He really had been worried. Gaibriel could already feel himself relaxing under the inadvertent spell the blonde man always seemed to cast on him.

"Gaibriel? You there?"

"Oh," Gaibriel started a bit. He had to stop getting lost in thought over the phone. "Sorry again. It's, uh... It's a little loud in here." He lied to cover his ass. He didn't want to continue sounding like an immature little boy. "I've been fine." He paused. That lie wasn't intentional... He didn't want to lie about that. Jullien was worried, not like everyone else. He deserved the truth...

"Oh, g-"

"Actually," Gaibriel interrupted him, "I haven't. I'm so used to saying I'm fine. I didn't mean to lie to you..." He trailed off, unsure. He wondered if Jullien would be angry at him.

"Hon, what happened," Jullien asked, his voice soft.

Gaibriel felt stupid for thinking Jullien would be mad with him. Lowering his voice, as to not be overheard, Gaibriel recounted the past few days, his voice quiet and emotionless, slipping into false apathy; the only way he knew to handle it.

---

Jullien's hand gripped the phone tighter anger and sympathy building up inside him, leaving him at loss of which one to feel. "Oh, Gaib..." Sympathy won out. "Can I call you that?"

He'd apparently caught the younger boy by surprise, as it took him a moment to respond. "Y-yeah... sure."

"I wish I could help you, Gaib. I think about you a lot." Jullien frowned. He hadn't meant to say that.

"Really?" Gaibriel's voice was shy but happy sounding. "I was worried I might annoy you."

Jullien rolled his eyes and laughed a little. "Oh, please. You're a sweet heart. So, besides, that, how are you?"

"Really? Or is that another automatic response?"

Gaibriel laughed quietly. Jullien liked the sound of it. Very innocent and tinkling... almost like a fairy laugh. He also liked calling him Gaib... It sounded nice. He got the feeling Gaibriel liked it as well.

"Really, I'm fine," the boy said. "Amanda invited me to hang out with her at lunch today."

"And you're going, right?"

"I dunno... kinda nervous."

"Oh, don't be. Amanda's a little pushy, but she's nice. She said something to me about how you always hide in the library at lunch."

"I do."

"She probably took it on herself to help bring you out of your shell. Don't be scared. I'm sure Amanda will adore you. Then she'll bug ya to stick around. She's annoying like that. Just like Judy." Jullien laughed. Judy would whap him a good one if she ever heard him saying that. Jullien stopped his laugh a little short, listening to Gaibriel's. Finally, he said, "I'm going to let you go, okay, Gaib?"

"Okay."

"Call me again. Anytime."

"Okay."

"Really? Or are you just saying that. I bet you're the type to stand me up," Jullien teased lightly.

"Really. I like talking to you."

Jullien could just see Gaibriel standing there, his face pink with a blush and his head dropped down to try and hide behind his hair. For a moment, he wished he were there. He could push that hair behind his ear, make him look up... He had such pretty eyes. Jullien cut himself off. "Alright, Gaib. Take care of yourself as much as you can."

"I will. Thanks, Jullien."

"Don't mention it."

"Well... bye."

"Bye."

Jullien didn't close his phone until he heard Gaibriel hang up. He stared down at his phone... He felt like screaming. There was so much more he had wanted to say.

Gaibriel had been hurt again. He'd wanted to know more but didn't want to be nosey or upset Gaibriel. He'd wanted to beg the boy to get help but already knew it was futile. He'd wanted to ask about the kiss but didn't want to spook him or sound too eager. He'd wanted to see him again but couldn't come up with an excuse for it to happen. He'd wanted --

"Landau!"

His thoughts were interrupted as his boss poked her head in the door and shouted at him. "Get back to your desk," she said. "Lunch is over."

"Oh. Sorry. Must have lost track of the time," he apologized quickly, standing up and shoving his phone in his pocket. She just rolled her eyes and walked away. He could hear her heels clicking rapidly down the tiled floor.

Jullien had expected to return to work feeling relieved and satisfied after talking to Gaibriel. At the very least to have a few of the questions that had been buzzing his head answered. The disappointment he felt was a far cry from that.

---

Gaibriel was smiling when he hung up the phone. Honestly smiling. He liked the feeling. He felt warm... He didn't quite understand it. Slinging his back pack over one shoulder, he glanced around the cafeteria, half hoping he would not be able to spot Amanda. She had apparently been waiting for him, however, for anyone within a fifty foot radius could see her standing beside the Pepsi machine, waving one hand in the air over her head. He could even make out the smile on her face from where he stood. Taking a deep breath, he made his way over to her, feeling completely bizarre.

"Hey, Gaibriel," she greeted as he stepped up to the small circle of people. "I was worried ya wouldn't come."

Gaibriel felt like he should say something... Something witty. But his brain came up blank. He just smiled nervously, feeling his cheeks color a little and looked at the floor.

"He's really shy, you guys," Amanda said, sitting back down. "But he's cool. Have a seat, so I can introduce you to everyone!"

Gaibriel sat his book bag down behind him as the circle widened, giving him enough room to sit between two of the people there. He sat between them, wedged closely. Just the act of sitting like that, part of this small circle of people, made him happy. Almost giddy. He was certain he was over-reacting and made himself calm down.

"That guy there beside you is Mat-mat," Amanda said, gesturing to his left. Glancing over, Gaibriel blushed even more as the boy smiled broadly at him and waved.

"Hey, Gaibriel. I've seen you around."

Mat-mat had long chestnut brown hair, pulled back into a loose pony tail at the nape of his neck, a few strands of hair loose around his face. His eyes were such a dark blue they looked almost black. He was dressed very casually, in a simple hunter green t-shirt and well-worn jeans. Gaibriel found him handsome. This only made it harder to speak, his voice cracking a bit as he said, "Hey... I-I've seen you too... Sometimes."

Mat-mat laughed. "Hey, I won't bite! Unless ya want me to." At this, he winked and nudged Gaibriel with his elbow. Everyone laughed. Gaibriel blushed deeply but smiled as well, looking up at everyone for the first time.

"Attention hog," the girl on his right said, her hand extending out in front of Gaibriel. He shook it. "I'm Linda. Everyone calls me Lin."

"Hi, Lin..." Gaibriel took a moment to study her. She was undeniably cute. She had short black hair, in a bob cut that curled around her chubby cheeks. She was a little plump, and it only made her look more adorable. Her eyes were brown as well, but a lighter color that seemed to sparkle. She was dressed in a red sleeveless shirt and white jeans. She had black tape around three of her fingers on her right hand and two on her left. She noticed him looking at them and laughed a little.

"I just like the way it looks," she explained, flexing her hand. "Got the idea from a Japanese singer."

"Lin's real big on Japanese music," Amanda put in. "She loves the pop stars over there so you see her in all kinda stuff she picked up from them."

Gaibriel nodded. "It looks cool," he said. He wasn't lying. He liked the way the shiny black wrapped around her fingers from the bottom to about half-way up.

Lin nudged the girl beside her. "This is Berry."

The Indian girl beside her smiled and waved shyly. She had dark skin, almost black eyes like Mat-mat behind wire-rimmed oval glasses and long black, wavy hair. "Hello."

"Her real name's too hard to pronounce," Amanda said, laughing a little, "so everyone calls her Berry. Even the teachers. She's our resident comp nerd. She's almost as shy as you, Gaibriel."

Berry stuck her tongue out at Amanda, smiling. Amanda either didn't see it or ignored it because she turned finally to the boy sitting beside Mat-mat. "And last but not least, this is Darren."

Darren waved to him. "Hey."

Gaibriel nodded back in response. "Hey..." Darren had taken him by surprise. Darren was African American, his hair done back in thick corn-rows. That wasn't what shocked him. It was the facial piercings and make up that made him blink a few times. He had two eyebrow rings in his right eyebrow, a nose stud, a ball in the middle of his lip and two rings at the left side of it, and rings lined both ears all the way around. His lips were painted black, his eyes rimmed in a thick black, slightly smudged line. He wore a pair of loose fitting leather pants and a t-shirt with the logo of something called Godsmack.

Darren smiled as he Gaibriel stared. "Yeah, I know, I'm hot but I'm straight. Sorry." His good-natured grin let Gaibriel know he wasn't offended.

Lin laughed beside him and leaned closer to Gaibriel. "Don't let him fool you. He claims to be straight but you put a pretty enough boy in front of him and watch him drool."

"Hey," Darren protested, laughing a little. "At least let me fool myself!"

Lin nudged Gaibriel a little. "You're definitely cute enough for him."

Mat-mat laughed. "Cute enough for me too."

Amanda broke in, smiling broadly at Gaibriel's deep blush. "Sorry guys... and girls," she paused to cast a knowing look at Lin. "I think he's spoken for."

A few people groaned. Gaibriel was too busy trying to stop his racing heart and mind to figure out who.

"By who?"

That was Mat-mat.

"My sister's friend Jullien. You've met him, right? And so has Lin."

Lin giggled. "Oh, yeah, I met him... Gaibriel, you are one fuckin' lucky boy."

Mat-mat nodded. "No kidding... I'd give my right arm for a little attention from that one.."

Gaibriel blushed as he looked up. "I... I don't think he feels the same way... I don't even know if I feel that way."

"Oooh," Mat-mat crooned, scooting a little closer to Gaibriel. "I love a good romance!"

Gaibriel was certain he now that he couldn't possibly blush any harder. He tried to protest when Mat-mat asked that he share all of the details but everyone began to plead for the story as well. Voice cracking from embarrassment and staring at his hands, he gave in and told them. He skipped the parts about his father's beatings, making it sound like he'd just been out for a night-time stroll. He glanced up at Amanda, worried she might say something to counter it, but she was listening as eagerly as the others. He was finishing up when the bell rang.

"Hurry, hurry!" Lin said, catching his arm. "What happened?"

"Well, Judy called again and I left while he was on the phone."

"You left?!" Mat-mat, Lin and Darren all spoke at the same time, none of them moving.

Gaibriel shrugged. "I guess I got scared. Don't remember really." That was a lie. He remembered that night like it had just happened. He stood up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and the others followed suit. They all waved and began heading off in the direction of their next class. Mat-mat jogged a little to fall in step beside him.

"Where's your next class," he asked.

Gaibriel frowned. "Gym."

The brown haired boy laughed. "Hey, I hear ya. Wanna skip?"

"Oh, I could never...." Gaibriel's heart pounded and he glanced around nervously, hoping no one had over-heard. Everyone was tending their own buisness, no one even looking his way, as usual. The invibility felt safe. But talking to Mat-mat and the others felt good... He actually almost felt like a normal person.

"Scared of getting caught? Don't worry, I do it all the time and I've never been caught. I'm an Office Helper for this period so I can get ya any excuse you want." He grinned widely, catching Gaibriel's wrist and stopping. "Come on, its just gym. It'll be fine."

Gaibriel pulled his hand away and shook his head again. "I just can't, Mat-mat," he said, feeling like he wanted to run and hide. "S-sorry."

Mat-mat smiled at him. A flashy smile that only made his face look more handsome and seemed like it could dazzle if he really wanted it to. "Don't worry about it. Well, don't kill yourself in gym, okay?" They'd started walking again and Mat-mat laughed. "I think maybe you're a good influence on me or something." He said this like he meant to say bad instead of good.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because now I don't think I'm going to skip, seein' you being so good and all." He flashed that smile again and waved a little. "Hey, I'll see you around, okay? Count on it." He turned on his heel before Gaibriel could respond and was quickly lost in the crowd.

Gaibriel was smiling as he entered the gymnasium and took a seat on the bottom row of the bleachers as the bell rang. He daydreamed a little as his teacher called roll. Today had been wonderful. He felt almost elevated. First the call with Jullien and then being accepted by Amanda's friends... his friends too. That made him smile even more. He had friends. Nice friends.

And then his stomach sank. If his father found out... He stopped the thought before he could finish it. His father hadn't found out about Jullien. And he hadn't found out about his late night walks. And he hadn't found out about Jullien's phone calls... Maybe he wouldn't find out about this either. Gaibriel debated only for a moment, deciding it was most certainly worth the risk. He'd never felt so wonderful.

"Earth to Mr. Rosenburg!" There was a hand waving in his face and Gaibriel jumped. His teacher was in front of him smiling as the class laughed. "I'm not sure if I can mark you present or not, Mr. Rosenburg," he said. "You here now?"

"Y-yes sir... I'm sorry." He blushed deeply, wanting to crawl inside his backpack and hide.

His teacher only laughed a little and patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, kid." His voice raised to a shout. "Alright everyone, warm ups!" He blew his whistle and everyone took their places on the basketball court.

Gaibriel found himself actually not minding the little bit of sweat that beaded on his forehead as he made his way through gym that day, his elevated feeling still keeping his spirits high. Yes, it was definitely worth it.

---

"I'm worried about him. I'm sure you understand. He's been... different lately. Comes home late, is disrespectful, his grades have dropped, things such as that. His mother insists it's a phase, but I've seen his eyes. I..." He paused for effect. "I think he may be on drugs."

Mr. Redding, the principal, nodded his head solemnly. He'd had this talk with quite a few parents this year. It seemed drugs were sadly getting more and more popular with each year. He'd seen so many parents in tears as their children destroyed their lives before they even begun and had been all but helpless to stop it. Sighing, he leaned toward the concerned father, folding his hands on his desk. "First of all, Mr. Rosenburg, let me say that I sympathize deeply with you. I have seen this more times than I'd like to remember. But there isn't much I can do to help you. I've petitioned the school board about allowing drug tests here at the school if the parents request them, but so far, there has been no hope towards it passing. Sir, I'm afraid, as it is, the only thing I can do to help you is to call your son in here and have a talk with him. I can bring in the counselor for his grade and together we can try to find out the truth."

Gaibriel's father shook his head. "I don't need you to do anything like that. I'm almost certain he's on drugs. No, I am certain." He dropped his head, mentally counting to ten before looking up again. "I was hoping you could tell me anything about his behavior in school. Maybe who he's talking to or if he's gotten in trouble?"

Mr. Redding sat back, his folded hands moving to his lap. "I can pull up any discipline slips he's had and speak to his teachers, but I cannot tell you the other. There are over two thousand students in this school, Mr. Rosenburg. I'm afraid I cannot give one student personal attention without neglecting hundreds of others."

"Um, sir?" The teenager who had been sitting in the corner spoke up. He was the principal's assistant and had just gotten back not long ago from running a notice to the cafeteria.

Mr. Redding, looked to him. "Yes, Michael?"

"Well, uhh, I saw Gaibriel today at lunch..."

Gaibriel's father turned to look him. The kid was well dressed, hair cut short and modest. He appeared to be trustworthy. "Can you tell me anything?"

"Well, sir, he usually spends all his time in the library. I see him there because I take notes there a lot. But today he wasn't and as I was coming back, I saw him in the common's area. He was sitting with a group of kids."

"Do you know them?"

"He was with Amanda McNair, Berry Smith, Darren Jackson and some other kids I don't know."

The principal frowned deeply. "Mr. Rosenburg, I usually would not do this. However, I know the names he mentioned. Very well. And I certainly do not think they would be a good influence on your son. I cannot say they do drugs, but they are known for being trouble-makers. Amanda is constantly written up for disrespect and tardies. That Darren is... well, he's what they call gothic today. Dressed in black, wears odd clothing, lots of make up and rings where they do not belong. The other two were most likely Matthew Williams and Linda Pope. Linda gets in trouble a lot for being late as well. Matthew works here in the office actually. Sometimes he doesn't show up, if you catch my meaning. Berry is the only one who has never been trouble. She's an honor roll student and very polite. Why she hangs out with that crowd I'd never know..."

Gaibriel's father was fuming but he fought hard to hide it. "I see. I will have to talk to him about this."

"Now, sir, please understand that I'm not saying you don't know how to talk to your child, but its been my experience that if you forbid them to be friends with a certain person, they will only rebel and insist on doing it. My advice to you would be to take him to your doctor for a drug test and have a long talk about trust and responsibility."

Gaibriel's father's voice was terse as he stood up and replaced his hat. "I thank you for your advice and help, Mr. Redding." He nodded a goodbye and left, stalking to his car, his white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel not loosening once as he drove home.