Turn Around

Twelve

I am in need

Day fourteen, Wednesday

Mind foggy with sleep, I tried to find my watch. Grabbing it off of the floor where it had fallen and slid partially under the sofa that was now my bed, I squinted to check. 02:46. Maybe he was taking a middle of the night toilet break but I couldn't recall him ever waking me before. Setting the watch back down, I shuffled amongst my blankets, trying to get comfortable as my body relaxed into sleep easily once more. But then there was a light switch and I opened my eyes. No. Still in the dark. What the hell was he doing? Couldn't he pee without a light on even in the middle of a city? There were footsteps, pad-pad-pad on the wooden floors but the went on for longer than needed to get Sem from bathroom to bedroom and when I opened my eyes I was at the perfect height to see his legs coming my way.



"Sem?"



"Sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to wake you up." But he was still coming towards me, missing out the kitchen entirely. Could you sleepwalk and have a conversation at the same time? Were people that did the whole sleepwalking thing dangerous?



"What are you doing? You should go back to bed."



"I don't want to."



My bedding was shifting, lifting up and then I felt him as he wiggled in beside me, having to push up close to my front since there wasn't a great deal of room compared to his giant bed. "Please don't make me."



We laid there in silence for a while and I could feel his heartbeat pounding. Finally, I could take it no longer. "What is going on, Sem? It's two in the morning."



"I don't like sleeping in that bed without you."



"Are you drunk?" I had to ask.



"No. I'm sober. I just got used to you sleeping right beside me and now I miss it and I haven't managed to get any sleep yet. You want to sleep on the sofa so I will sleep here with you." Clearly he missed the point of why I had chosen to sleep on the sofa but he sounded so miserable I couldn't make him leave me alone. And besides, I didn't want to. Instead I let him wrap me up in his arms and I snuggled into him, my nose touching his neck.



"You have enough blankets? I'm well known for not sharing."



"I'm good." He brought my head up and kissed me on the corner of the mouth, making me whine.



"I don't really feel comfortable doing this with you when you're going on a date later, Sem..." But he didn't listen, taking my mouth with his own. I wrapped my arms around his neck as best I could with the limited room and just as my arms were going numb he moved us, forcing himself beneath me before turning me to lay on him, stomach to stomach, groin to groin. We kissed like we had done before, slow and intense, his fingers ending up in my hair.



Maybe it was his plan. Maybe he was trying to lull us both to sleep and it was working. I could feel his touches becoming softer, his hands slipping to my shoulders and part way down my back. Just as he was about to break away from my lips and fall asleep I double checked the bedding, inching it over his toes with my own before doing something brave. Turning us both so we were on our sides, I slowly eased my arm around his waist and down, into the back of his specific 'for bed' boxers. There was a tiny titter of a laugh and hot breath blown against my cheek before he kissed me on the nose.



"Goodnight, Joonas." His voice no longer full of worry but happy and sleepy.



"Goodnight, Sem."



He fell to sleep long before me. I wasn't used to sleeping so close to someone else and had to alter the bedding several times so I was at just the right temperature. But it was worth it. It was so damn worth it. Looking at him sleeping with a vague smile on his face, feeling his breath. And the most magical of moments, when I could feel his heart beat, strong but steady, against my own chest. Why couldn't it remain this way forever?



Why did it have to change?



Surely if we worked hard at it we could manage to be this way for always.



I wanted him. I wanted him for always.

 

01010

Author notes: As always, many thanks to my beta, MissusAnn (fp).

Blueskies: Joonas has a couple of reasons for keeping his feelings to himself. The main one is that all the guys he started out kissing for comfort and then dated pissed off and left him.. And dumping Joonas isn't like dumping a normal person. He had a serious breakdown each time and it would last for months. Other reasons include being scared Sem would lose his job if people found out and simply the fear that he isn't good enough. Sem got so much higher in his career, is so much more stable and independent. Why would he sink to Joonas' levels type thing. I had to read your review twice because I was a bit shocked.. But in a good way. It's great to know I'm getting emotions from people. Thank you so much for reviewing.

Reader1962: I like smiles :)

Lisa: Big secret. Come over to the corner and I'll tell you.... I've never been drunk before. Shh! So it was a bit difficult to write it and I'm glad I wrote it well enough. I can think of one creepy guy who would be willing to try kissing away Joonas' anxiety xD Thank you for reviewing!

I'm contemplating whether to make a thread in the forums for this story since I've come to a bit of a cross-road in part two and would appreciate input from readers. But I don't know how many would be willing to chat or how many are even registered there. I got my wrist slapped for asking readers a question here last time so... Yeah :/