Walking Delusions

a/n: *looks around* Where have all my readers gone? I hope I haven't scared you away by forgetting to update. *sheepish* Sorry! I promise not to forget again.

Anyways. Things are heating up here. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Twelve: An Offer Unrefused

Cold, alone, burning with passion and hatred,
A thin line between black and white,
Animosity in the setting treasured gaze.
Standing before the crystalline sun,
Eyes on me, watching, waiting,
Body trembling and heart racing.
My sanity hanging by the thinnest thread,
Snapping in the jaws of circumstance,
And a shiver down the spine.
Words a form of subtle praise,
And once-immortal hands I crave.

The bridge seemed the worst nightmare of anyone who ever feared heights. It spanned a river that appeared to be the length of a football field wide. Below, the water thrashed and ate at the banks as if trying to break free of its cage. Froth filled the bluish liquid and waves slapped high into the air. The bridge was made of wood and ropes, creaking and swaying lightly where it was connected to rotting posts driven deep into the ground.

The rickety bridge seemed ancient and I gulped loudly as I set my left foot on the first deceptively whole plank. It crumbled; however, and I nearly pitched forward, hand flailing outward to catch on the handhold composed of more dwindling rope. I gasped loudly, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. Melath had assured us that it was safe.

My faith in his intelligence was fading faster than my desire to get to the Anuran village on the other side. I could faintly see the roofs of the houses and the mountain just beyond as well. More golden-green trees shone on the opposite bank, as well as the answers to my questions and that enigmatic dream. And to get there, all I would have to do was cross the dangerously swaying bridge.

Oh, joy.

I heard a sigh of impatience behind me and I knew without looking that it was Vincent. I glared though he couldn't see it and set my jaw, firmly taking one more careful step forwards. This plank held, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I set my sights on the far away village once more, determination taking over my mind.

I was not going to turn and run. I was not a coward... much. Too bad my own pep talk was vastly failing me. Who was I kidding? I've always been afraid of heights and to tell the truth, I can't swim. Though, if anyone fell into the raging waters below, I doubt having that ability would make much of a difference. I took another cautious step, the bridge creaking and groaning in protest, but still holding strong.

Okay, so far so good.

In this slow, inch-by-inch manner, I crept across the bridge, taking my sweet time. It wasn't until I got to the middle that my fear really overwhelmed me. There the wind was strongest, causing the bridge to sway from side to side. I gripped with pure tenacity to the crumbling ropes, not caring if anyone saw my fear as I shakily took one step forward, and then retracted it before I even placed my foot down. That plank didn't look any safer or more dangerous than any of the others, but still, I didn't want to step on it. There was a sharp crack, as if something had snapped and I froze, body stiff with fright. My eyes widened and my breath stilled.

Oh, god! My mind screamed. I'm going to die!

I stood there terrified, clinging to the rope like a leech with my body refusing to move. Another brief and loud sound, echoing above the noise of the crashing waves and I shut my eyes tight, preparing for the inevitable. My muscles strained anxiously, waiting for that final plummet, sweat streaming down my body.

One. Two. Three minutes passed and nothing happened. I cautiously cracked open one eye, glancing around me and finding that all was like before, still clinging to a rickety bridge over a deadly river. Except now, the slight sound of stifled mocking laughter could be heard behind me. Rage fueled me and I whirled viciously, glaring over my shoulder at the perpetrator. To no surprise, it was Vincent, amusement visible in his golden eyes. The four companions waited patiently for me to continue on.

Anger and embarrassment stained my cheeks and I stoutly returned my gaze forward, resolutely determined to take at least one more step forward. I forced my shaky and unsteady leg to move towards the Anuran village, daintily stepping on the next deceptively strong plank. I held my breath, the wood stayed firm, and it escaped in a whoosh. My shoulders loosened and I took another cautious step, finally making some progress once more. Though I never once relinquished my hold on the crumbling ropes. No sirree. Nor did I bother to try and enjoy the scenery around me either.

"The sound that frightened you was merely the driftwood striking against itself," Melath informed me, his voice easily distinguishable.

It carried a faint ringing of amusement, but also something else. An emotion that I could not identify. Nor did it seem like he was mocking me, but taking sympathy in my plight. Strange.

I didn't bother to respond to his explanation, preferring to save my energy to the much more difficult task of finally crossing the bridge, safely and alive. It took the better part of twenty minutes, but by the time the sun had very nearly dipped below the horizon, we had all managed it and the bridge still remained standing, swaying perhaps a bit more haphazardly in the force of the wind. I heaved a sigh of relief, feeling as if I had just climbed Mount Everest. I looked back once more at the rickety structure, before turning my attention on the Anuran village.

Or to be more precise, what was left of it.

At the very edge of the town, lay the outskirts, small buildings that were not very near to each other, with fenced in backyards and a squat composure. Or at least, I was certain they were buildings before time and rot got to them. Now they were just dilapidated piles of filth and crumbled wasteland, decaying into dust as forgotten remnants of the past. Certainly, nothing lived in them now. Roofs had collapsed inwards, as well as the stones from the walls crumbling to bits. Weeds and bushes grew prolifically through the homes, exiting out through broken windows and emerging through holes in the rotted thatched roofs.

I was disappointed. No, more than disappointed, I felt almost betrayed. As if the Great One had lied to me. How could I find answers in a place that held no living creature? It didn't appear anything like my dream! Not at all!

I took an unconscious step forward, tears gathering at the corner of my eyes as my hand came up to cover my open mouth. There was a path in front of me, covered in weeds and abandoned objects, but it was a path nonetheless, leading further into the village. Without thinking, I began to follow it, ignoring the lengthening shadows or even the footsteps of the others behind me. I could only listen to my intuition, convinced that there had to be something, some purpose for my journey here. My pace was hurried, swifter than I had ever managed to make myself move with purpose (excluding the mad dash into the woods a few chapters prior, of course).

The scene did not get any better as I walked. The tattered and empty huts grew closer and closer together, becoming more like a town but their state did not change. More ruins, layers of dust, scattered bones of whose origin I didn't even want to consider. I have seen the remains of animals before - cows, dogs, hamsters - but these skeleton pieces were nothing like those. I gulped at the possibility of them being human, but it did not cause my pace to slow or cease.

It became increasingly harder to see as the sunlight faded, but there wasn't much to highlight. I finally stood in the center of the town of Anuran-worshippers. I turned in a circle, taking in the very abandoned nature of it all. It didn't appear to have fallen to war or battle, but looking more like it had just been vacated, as if everyone had simply up and left. I stepped towards the nearest construction, one of the few that seemed relatively intact.

Peering into the dim, I stood just inside the doorway. Within, furniture was turned over and lying in pieces, cloth was abandoned on the floor in rotting piles, dishes were broken into shards and everything was covered in a thick layer of heavy dust. A child's play toy lay at my feet and I knelt, picking up the small wooden doll in my hand and running a finger over the smoothened wood. It seemed almost strangely pristine in this forsaken place.

I would find no answers in this city; there were none.

As I stood and left the town, my mind wandered to the dream-vision, the one that appeared to be a reincarnated memory of sort. Tai had asked Maya to run if it became necessary but to where? Obviously not across the bridge, towards that which he was fleeing, but in the opposite direction. Standing outside the abandoned hut, my eyes flickered to the mountains, rising up tall and foreboding. Maya had claimed she knew all the secret pathways of the trees, perhaps that extended to the mountains as well?

I knew, without a doubt, that I needed to head there next. Only then would I be willing to completely give up or maybe I would find my answers.

"I'm so glad we could make the journey to visit a village of ghosts," Vincent remarked dryly, his voice rife with derision.

My gaze shot up, glaring fiercely at him as my hands fisted at my side. "Shut up!" I snarled viciously, my patience dealing with him having been pushed far past its limits. "Shut the fuck up, Vincent! I don't want to hear it from you." I tore my heated glare from him with great difficulty, forcing myself to look at the mountains to my right. "Those who once lived here have long since fled and I am quite certain that they left to the mountains."

Ivory snorted. "Right. And after that they will have vanished into the trees like spirits. And then we must go to Karsia. And then Yimil. I'm sure we will spend the rest of our lives chasing after your silly dreams."

I gritted my teeth but the emotions poured from me anyways. I had never been too good at reining in my feelings. "You all mock me!" I snarled. "You pity me! Protect me! Revile me! Even go so far as to covet this supposed power, none of which I can even feel or use! Yet, you still won't leave! You act as if it's my fault!" My words echoed around the stillness of death that existed in this abandoned town. Not even a wind stirred, it was so quiet.

"Oh, shut up!" Ivory snapped. "I'm tired of your tantrums and your pity parties! If not for Melath I'd--"

"You'd what?" I interrupted coldly, staring down at her with a fierce anger, so hot it had long frozen over.

It was slightly frightening, looking into what I was certain was death by axe. Yet, the burning rage seemed to encompass all my senses, until I was left with nothing but a firm stain of crimson to my sight.

"Enough!" Melath inserted easily and with quite a firm tone. He stepped between us, shooting a glare at us both. "I am the one that's had enough! Children, the entire lot of you. I made this perfectly clear earlier today and I've yet to change my mind. If you don't want to accept that, you are free to leave, Ivory."

She frowned, biting her lip in an attempt to hold back her argument, but the words spilled from her lips anyways. "You think with the wrong head, Melath," she responded spitefully as her eyes narrowed.

Ivory turned on her heels and swiftly walked away into the surrounding forest. "I'm going to gather wood for the fire." With that said, she was gone, muttering curses beneath her breath the entire way. Yet, I knew that had been her silent acquiescence to Melath's leadership.

Blue eyes turned towards me. "You think there is something in the mountains?" he asked, voice suddenly turning strangely soft.

It was strange. At the sound of his tone, almost musical to my ears, my nerves calmed and my anger faded some. It still raged, but without someone to direct it at, the fires had calmed. I nodded in response to his question, physically concentrating on loosening my clenched fists.

But it seemed Vincent wasn't all too happy with the arrangements either. His gaze flickered between Melath and I, something hardening in his expression. "If the worshipers of the Anuran wished to hide, they will not be found by a mere human girl. We face better luck going ahead to Yesa."

Melath glanced over his shoulder, shooting the other man a look that I could not see. However, I caught a glimpse of Vincent's response. A tightening of his jaw, brief narrowing of his eyes and a definite tensing of his muscles before he managed the slightest of nods. He whirled on his heels and strode into the forest, though taking a different direction than Ivory. That left only Melath, Ryou and I surrounded by an abandoned town of crumbling buildings.

I recalled Ryou's words of Vincent being owned, and my curiosity again overwhelmed me. Well, that explained much of Vincent’s not so subtle acquiescence, but it didn’t account for his brief moments of obvious disobedience. And I’d not once seen Melath punish him either. There was something about their relationship that was still lying in the dark; I was certain of it.

I kept my mouth shut, turning my inquisitive gaze on Melath, briefly commenting in my own mind how suddenly and strangely Ryou quiet had become. He had yet to comment on anything since revealing his past. Whether that was a product of circumstance of some unknown emotion, I really couldn't say.

"Ryou, go ahead and set up the camp. We can use that roofless building over there for shelter," Melath instructed gestures towards one of the larger structures. It had at least three walls still standing, the fourth being half-crumbled away.

Ryou nodded without argument and turned, scooping both Ivory's and Vincent's abandoned packs off the ground before heading towards the home that Melath had selected. I watched his movements, not missing the strange look that he cast my way as he did so. It was almost as if he were pleading with me.

"Why?" I asked suddenly, suspicious of Melath and his intentions as I centered my gaze on him. I didn't believe for one moment that he wanted to help me, so I couldn't understand why he kept insisting that I remain with their group.

The elfin man came towards me, gliding smoothly over the ground as always. "Why what?" he posed with a raised brow. "I thought it would be best if we explored the mountains during the day, not the night."

"That's not what I meant!" I insisted, slicing a hand through the air to emphasize my point. "Why do you want to help me?"

He sidled closer, almost too close, nearly invading my personal space with his presence. Something sparked in his gaze. It was an emotion that I recognized but didn't think I would ever see in his eyes. I'm almost positive it was lust. But for me? I didn't think that was possible. I knew there was something between him and Vincent.

"I find you interesting," he replied, almost casually. "And I am certain that the benefits outweigh the costs."

I scoffed. "You want something from me."

"Perhaps. But fair is fair, after all." He moved and his hand came up, holding the bow that had been my gift from the 'Great One'. I didn't even remember him taking it from Ryou. "Would you like to learn how to use this? You would no longer be relying on our protection."

I eyed him, still suspicious, but his offer seemed sincere. My gaze flickered between his entrancing eyes and the bow, nearly chewing my lip in indecision. A slight sound to our right had me locking my eyes on the form of Ryou, bustling around to build up a fire in order to cook some food. He seemed to realize that I was looking at him, and for a moment, our eyes met. I can't really describe what passed between us. It wasn't anything heated like when Melath looks at me, but something sad, resigned. I frowned because I didn't understand and returned my attention to Melath.

I didn't think I would be any good at it, but it was better than nothing. At least, this way, I would have some sort of witty comeback the next time I argued against Vincent or Ivory. I nodded my head.

"I'll give it a try."

He smiled and that very action made my insides want to melt. He really ought not do that so often; otherwise, I’d be little more than a puddle of goo. Melath rarely, if ever, displayed anything beyond his impassive or stern expression. Laughter and smiles were few and far between, though he looked remarkably younger and less strained when he did so.

"Good. I thought we would use the trees as targets."

"Whatever you think is best," I replied with a shrug, sounding my best to appear nonchalant.

My bravado wasn't much to stand on however. Melath made me nervous, not a scared sort of nervous but the kind that comes with knowing the person standing next to you was very attractive.

And that was how twenty minutes later found me standing ten feet away from the fire with Melath unnaturally close and attempting to shoot arrows into three targets set up on trees. The blaze and bright moonlight above made it easy to see them but I seemed completely incapable of hitting the targets at all. So far I had hit the ground, the sky, the air, the grass, shorn the leaves off some branches and once, I managed to skim the arrow off the side of the circular target.

Pathetic.

Ivory and Vincent had returned a few minutes ago. The female had taken to sharpening her axe; the weapon probably already shined and polished enough to grease the air as it aimed to slice something. Vincent was tanning the animals he had hunted down, flaying off the skin and tossing the unneeded guts and stuff into the fire.

The strange creatures looked vaguely like a cross between a monkey and a hog, all bulk and long limbs. Not really appetizing, but Ryou, a strangely silent Ryou, seemed to be cooking it just fine. Perhaps some of my problems aiming were due to the fact that I knew Vincent was staring at us, watching with inquisitive, and yet blank, golden eyes. Very unsettling.

Melath, though his pointers were sound, was not making it any easier. His initial instructions had been simple. I was right-handed so the wooden piece of the bow, I was so glad he had decided not to use the technical words for it, went in my left hand. My fingers were to wrap around the coiled part in the middle, directly in the center of it with the arrow resting just above my hand. I was to pull back the string with my right hand, the arrow shaft between my first two fingers and the string taut as the first joint of those fingers wrapped around it. As I pulled back with my right hand, the arm was to bend at an angle, staying completely level with my shoulders. Thank god that the bow was a gift from the Great One; otherwise the strain of nocking the arrow would have been difficult.

As it were, I could tell that the bow was meant to be used by someone who hadn't built up a lot, if any, upper body strength. It flowed smoothly as I tugged in a gentle motion and I was impressed by the ease that I could use it. Well, even though I couldn't aim, perhaps if we were surrounded by enemies I would be of some use. I couldn't help but sigh. Who was I kidding? I sucked ass.

Melath's pointers in aiming were of no use either. There wasn't any definitive rule. Depending on where the target was placed or its distance, where I pointed the arrow and how hard I yanked, the string changed... why did that sound dirty?

I shook my head at my own running thoughts, concentrating instead on the nearest target. I could feel the warmth of Melath so near to me, nearly standing just over my shoulder, and the scent of the meal Ryou was cooking wafted through my senses as well. And he was acting oddly as well. Urgh... distractions.

Suddenly, my dedicated teacher leaned in closer. I was nearly able to feel him pressing against my left shoulder. And that was when the warm breath washed over my ear, hot and slightly moist sending a shiver down my spine.

"You never finished our conversation," he whispered in a low seductive tone, words that had nothing to do with my 'lesson'.

My mind came to a screeching halt as warmth instantly suffused my body, his tone going straight to my belly, sitting hot, heavy, and infinitely arousing. "...What?" No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep the stutter or the surprise from my voice.

His hand came up, rubbing along my left arm in the pretense of straightening it and helping me aim. But the movement was far too slow and sensuous, almost a caress. "About sharing in my company for the night," he responded all too easily. I swore that his lips brushed across the shell of my ear and I fought to try and set my sights on the far target. Unconsciously, a slight shudder ran through me.

How was he doing it? One word, one touch, and I wanted to shove him to the ground and rape him silly, if one could rape the willing anyways? It was much like after Vincent drank from me except it was brought about in a different fashion. My ear tingled where his breath puffed warm over it and I was hyper aware of the nearness of his body. I wanted him, I wanted him so bad that I was beginning to ache, biting back a moan of desire.

"But I thought--" I broke off, some shame coloring my cheeks at my presumptions. Confusion was beginning to swirl in me, as well as some anticipation curling within my stomach.

If Melath was serious, enough said. Warmth began to spread across my skin and arousal flared. I was no stranger to sex or casual sex for that matter. I never claimed to be innocent just often times oddly naive. I suppose that it came with the territory. Rocket-science intelligence but lacking in common sense.

"Thought what?" he repeated and now I could hear the amusement in his tone. I was sure that if I had had the courage to look, he would have been smirking.

I flushed, embarrassment creeping into my cheeks. His nearness was beginning to affect me as well and my body tee-totaled between lust and abashment. "What about Vincent?" I asked, the words somehow managing to tumble from my lips in a coherent fashion despite my confusion.

"What about him?"

I sighed and blinked slowly, idly shifting my stance. He put his free hand on my hip, slowly redirecting my hips to shift back into place. That touch certainly didn’t help my thinking processes. I shuddered and stifled a moan, unconsciously leaning into the touch as I struggled to remember what we were talking about. I could feel his fingers pressing against my hips, nearly burning me with their intensity despite the heavy robes.

"Aren't you--"

"--together? Hmm." He paused as he shifted his position, making it easier for me to see his face. At least he was no longer breathing all sexy-like on my neck. He had his lips pursed in thought. "That doesn't matter either way. Right now, I'm wondering what you taste like."

The arrow jolted out of my hold before I had even aimed it and sped towards one of the targets, again missing but with a wider margin than before. My muscles shook as I slowly lowered the bow, slightly angry with myself for sucking so badly. I could see his slightly amused smirk.

"Do I make you nervous, Anne?" he posed, leaning in towards me. I think it was the first time I ever heard him saying my name, the moniker rolling off his tongue like a form of subtle praise.

Nervous didn’t even begin to cover what he made me. But, by this point, my brain had turned to mush. I couldn't work my mind to think of something clever or witty, so I settled for the truth. Or more like, my mouth opened before I could think.

"Yes."

He laughed lightly, molten crystalline gaze locked firmly on mine, smoldering with lust. For me. This I couldn’t understand. He had seen me at my worst. Puking, drinking blood, crying, passing out. Even now I was covered in blood stains from the recent battle, in desperate need of a change and a bath.

"Why?" he asked, clearly amused by the flush that was quickly spreading across my cheeks. He was so damn close.

"Why else?" I shot back, slightly annoyed as I angled my body more towards his.

He had me all hot and bothered, and knew it as well, playing this coy game with me the entire time. And it seemed even his companions had noticed, if I interpreted Ivory's words from earlier correctly. Thinking with the wrong head, indeed.

"I'm just plain Jane and you--" I sucked in a breath, staring at the ground as the bow dangled limply from my hands.

He raised a brow, restraining another chuckle. "I'm?"

"Oh, shut up!" I snapped, looking up with eyes flaming in irritation and embarrassment. "Stop fishing for compliments. You know how hot you are!"

"Hot? I'm on fire then."

I rolled my eyes and waved a hand of dismissal. "Never mind, it's slang. Meaning that I find you attractive." I ignored another confused look at the word 'slang' and flushed. I was doing a wonderful job of making a fool of myself. As usual.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I dimly registered the feeling of being watched, a strange chill creeping up my spine. Yet, as I realized this, I also considered Melath's proposal. Everything I wanted to believe came into question.

Was this place real? Was I in a dream? I had only known him for a short time and although he was immensely attractive-- Man, you didn't come along offers like this everyday. Then again, one night stands weren't all that unknown to me either.

Then there was the matter of Vincent. He hadn't denied their relationship, but he hadn't confirmed it either. Merely brushed my question aside. And I was almost positive that Melath was only going to use me. He didn't want to make me his or anything. Which, I was fine with that. Then again, there was the issue of my self-respect and dignity. Not that I had much of it.

But the way he made me feel, the shuddering and barely restrainable lust, I knew I just could not say no. It would haunt me forever, the chance missed. And somehow, I think I knew my answer the moment he started flirting with me. I had wanted a taste of this male since the moment I first laid eyes on him. He and Vincent both. And despite the dark-haired man's atrocious personality, I would probably fuck him in a heartbeat as well. Boyfriend material? Definitely not. But they were hot enough to inspire much lust, that up until now had gone unsated.

"You say you are plain, but I find you pleasing to admire," he continued, never taking that intent crystalline gaze off of me. Or maybe it was the power that attracted him, cause it couldn’t have been my behavior, personality, or facial features.

I had trouble believing that. "Right," I drawled. "I'm sure between the blood-drinking, the vomiting, the sobbing, and the pity sessions you wanted nothing more than to throw me to the ground and fuck me into submission."

I was instantly glad that we were keeping our voices low, slightly embarrassed at what we were discussing. For some reason, I didn't want Ryou to know, I feared Vincent's reaction, and I didn't want to hear Ivory's ridicule. Then again, if he really wanted to do it, then I suppose they would all find out, either in the morning or sometime during the night. With the way I reacted every time he came close, it was likely to happen during the night.

He smiled then at my words, them disporting him. "I find the blood-letting erotic, but as for the rest, everyone has their moments." He eyed me. "Do you find it so hard to believe that I am sincere?"

I snorted. "Sincere? Or just full of lust?"

Melath was a very patient man. Anyone else would have given up at this point. "Very well then, the latter."

"To be honest, yes. And I believe I already explained why."

He opened his mouth, prepared to say something more, when Ryou called both our names, announcing that dinner was ready. Melath nodded in understanding before turning back to me once more.

"My offer still stands." He did not beg or plead, merely restating a fact.

The intent look in his eyes, definitely full of both hunger and desire, had me swallowing thickly. There was no way I could say no to him. There was no way I wanted to say no.

Dream or not. Reality or fantasy. That was definitely an experience I didn't want to miss. Melath looked like he tasted good, and remembering that one kiss in the forest, the way I had felt pressed up against him. I knew it wouldn't be a waste of my time. I would be more than satisfied in the end. I only hoped that Vincent didn't suddenly decide to stake another claim, if indeed he had the right to one. I couldn't be certain considering the whole ownership thing.

Who was I to deny my raging hormones? If this was a dream or fantasy, than by god, it was about time I started enjoying something about it. Even if it was something that would never occur in real life.

He was waiting for my answer, wanting to know yes or no before we returned to the three waiting patiently -- or in Ivory's case impatiently -- around the fire. I smiled at him, something sly and seductive. By the answering flare of desire in his eyes, I knew that I had made the right choice.

"For a night, my company is yours."

*****

a/n: Next update should be on Tuesday or Wednesday, I promise. Since those are my days off, it's perfect for me.

Give me a holler if you're still out there. I'd love to see that people are still interested. Thanks!