Gender Dysphoria: How it Feels to Live a Lie
folder
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
24
Views:
4,469
Reviews:
70
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
24
Views:
4,469
Reviews:
70
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Chapter 11
About this chapter: Just alittle chapter I wrote to further the relationship of Marcus and Gwen.
Chapter XI
The phone rang just as I walked back into my apartment. I had just returned from the airport. I was invited to see Robert off to Yale. It was a bit of a sad moment for me. One of a very—and I mean very—few group of friends I’d met here. As for last night......it was something I’d always remember. I love Robert with all my heart…….but we could never be lovers. It was a special moment that will always be cherished by us. There was neither one of us wondering what would be next between us, so you could call it a mutual agreement between two eternal friends……nothing more.
Robert was looking a bit sad when his plane was called up. Hugging his parents goodbye, he came over to me and stood there, forlorn. “I’m gonna miss you.”
I moved raven hair behind his ear. “I’ll miss you too. Study hard down there, but have fun too.”
“Last call for flight 32 for Connecticut.” A woman called over the intercom.
“Come with me.” Robert pleaded.
“I can’t, love. You know that.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s not my road to take. Its yours.”
“But who will protect you from all those mean guys? I don’t want what happened to you to happen again.”
“It won’t. I promise, I’ll be fine.” That still didn’t seem to suit the teen. “You’ll get to college and have so much fun there, you’ll forget all about me.”
Robert shook his head. “Never.”
I smiled. “Come’ere.” I hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. “I love you, Robert. Now go get on the flight.”
“I love you too.”
And like that, he was gone.
“Hello?”
“Wuz up, sexy.”
I recognized that cocky voice anywhere. “Hey, Marcus.”
“What are you doing?”
“Just getting home.”
“From where?”
I chuckled. “None of your business.”
“It is my business.”
“Since when? I just met you?”
“Since we started going out.”
I frowned as I grabbed a soda from the fridge and sat down to watch a little tv. “Who said we were going out?”
“I did……that and well, your body language at the diner too.”
“You are such a liar.” I laughed.
“Am I? I didn’t catch you staring when you first laid eyes on this sexy piece of all man? Or the kiss I gave you on your hand…..”
“You didn’t ‘see’ anything. You’re just so damn cocky and arrogant, you ‘thought’ you saw something.”
He made this throaty laugh. Even over the phone, I could still feel it’s vibrations, making me want to shudder…….in a very good way. “Believe what you want. Can I come over?”
“Nope.”
“Why?”
“Cause I don’t know you well enough to invite you to my place. For all I know, you could be some psychotic killer.”
“Well I’m not. I just want to have sex with you a little bit…..”
“I’m hanging up now…..”
“Wait. Wait. I’m just playing. Seriously, if you don’t want me to come over……yet…..lets meet somewhere and hang out. I wanna get to know you better.”
“Where?”
“The zoo.”
“The….The zoo?”
“Yeah. I like animals. So how ‘bout it? Meet me at the zoo around four?”
I sighed. “Alright. I’ll meet you there.”
***
He was standing infront of the lion exhibit when I found him. Dressed cool, he wore white with blue and red stripe windbreaker pants, red t-shirt, and white tennis shoes. Something was oddly sexy about watching his mouth aimlessly suck on a big, bright red lollipop.
“Hey.” I said.
He turned towards me with a smile. “Hey yourself.” He eyed my khaki skirt and white tank. “You looking good.”
“Thank you. You like lions?”
“Yeah. They’re ferocious beasts. Did you know the males didn’t do the hunting for their packs, it was the females?”
“Really? I didn’t know that.”
“It’s fascinating reading about animals. So many things they do that you wouldn’t expect.” He pulled out his lollipop. “Well, you ready to walk around a bit?”
“Sure.”
As we walked together, Marcus reached into his pocket and pulled out a grape flavored BlowPop, holding it out to me. “Want one? Makes your tongue turn purple.”
I smiled. “Thanks.” I opened the sucker and popped it in my mouth.
“So, are you originally from here?”
I shook my head. “Parker’s Hill, Florida.”
“Ah. The Sunshine State. Why’d you leave?”
“I didn’t get along with my father. We’re not very close. He practically hates me. We had an argument one night and I ran away.”
“Get out of here. Really?” I nodded. “He must’ve been a shitty father then, cause you ran clear across the country to get away from him.”
“Yeah. He’ll definitely never get the Father of the Year Award.”
“And how long have you been here?”
“Around two years now.”
“Plan on going back home?”
I sighed. “Well, that’s a tough question……I’m kinda split on that. In a way I do cause I have a mother and two siblings that I miss, and in a way I don’t cause I don’t want to hear my father’s mouth.”
“But you should though. I’m sure your folks would love to see you.”
I shrugged. “What about you? What’s your story?”
Marcus pulled the red sucker out of his mouth. “I’m not from here either. I grew up in Miami.”
“You’re from Florida too?” he nodded. “I’m not too surprised by that though. You carry that Florida look.”
He smiled. He had a beautiful bright smile. “And what look is that?”
“I don’t know. It’s just a certain look. I can’t explain it. Why’d you leave?”
“I grew tired of it. I’d spent 20 years there and I got bored. So I thought, ‘Go to Vegas. You’ll never be bored there’. So I left. I’ve been here for four years now.” He looked down at me. “You mind if I hold your hand?”
“Um no.” Marcus slid his hand in mine, lacing our fingers together. Then he raised them and kissed the back of my hand. *shudders with a sigh* he was slowly wrapping me around his finger.
Together, we stopped and looked at the tigers, gorillas, orangutans, hippos, bears, and the sea exhibit. It smelled like hell, but it was fun. I had a blast with Marcus. It was strange, he knew more information about those animals than the exhibits showed.
He started to chuckle while we walked to the zoo exit. “What’s so funny?” I asked.
“Your tongue is purple.”
I stuck out my tongue and peeked down at it. “A deep purple too. So is yours though.”
“Yeah, but you can’t tell it as bad since mine is red. Your tongue looks like an eggplant.”
I shoved him playfully. “You ass.”
We reached the exit and I started to reach in my purse for some change.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m getting change to call a taxi.”
“You don’t need to do that. I can take you home. You don’t have to hunt for 50 cents to call me, I’m already here, and I don’t charge you when I drop you off.”
“I don’t want to put you out like that.”
Marcus rolled his eyes. “My car is this way. I believe you know which one it is.”
Smiling, I followed him to the parking lot and hopped into his red Range Rover. I sat silent as we drove down the road. I was looking out the window at the passing buildings, when I heard Marcus fooling with the radio. Then, I heard him sing:
“I'm going out tonight I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise really raise my voice
Yeah I wanna scream and shout
No inhibitions make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time
The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
Oh oh oh go totally crazy--forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts--short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild--yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action--feel the attraction
Color my hair--do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free--yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman! …..”
I started to laugh. Shania Twain! He was singing Shania!
“What? Don’t hate.” Marcus said.
“I can’t believe you’re singing country music.”
“Believe it, baby. I’m universal when it comes to music.”
I chuckled. “I see.”
Marcus started to laugh. “Oh don’t act like you don’t know the words either. Everybody know’s Shania.”
“I don’t know the words.”
“Lying!”
“I am not!”
“Sing the song, Gwen.”
“I don’t know the song!”
He started to sing again.
“The girls need a break--tonight we're gonna take
The chance to get out on the town
We don't need romance--we only wanna dance
We're gonna let our hair hang down…..”
”Come on, Gwen.” he pushed. I put my hands over my face and started to sing with him.
“The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...”
“Bring it home, girl!” Marcus said, encouraging me. I put my hands down and broke loose.
“Oh oh oh go totally crazy--forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts--short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild--yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action--feel the attraction
Color my hair--do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free--yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman! …..”
R&R.
Chapter XI
The phone rang just as I walked back into my apartment. I had just returned from the airport. I was invited to see Robert off to Yale. It was a bit of a sad moment for me. One of a very—and I mean very—few group of friends I’d met here. As for last night......it was something I’d always remember. I love Robert with all my heart…….but we could never be lovers. It was a special moment that will always be cherished by us. There was neither one of us wondering what would be next between us, so you could call it a mutual agreement between two eternal friends……nothing more.
Robert was looking a bit sad when his plane was called up. Hugging his parents goodbye, he came over to me and stood there, forlorn. “I’m gonna miss you.”
I moved raven hair behind his ear. “I’ll miss you too. Study hard down there, but have fun too.”
“Last call for flight 32 for Connecticut.” A woman called over the intercom.
“Come with me.” Robert pleaded.
“I can’t, love. You know that.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s not my road to take. Its yours.”
“But who will protect you from all those mean guys? I don’t want what happened to you to happen again.”
“It won’t. I promise, I’ll be fine.” That still didn’t seem to suit the teen. “You’ll get to college and have so much fun there, you’ll forget all about me.”
Robert shook his head. “Never.”
I smiled. “Come’ere.” I hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. “I love you, Robert. Now go get on the flight.”
“I love you too.”
And like that, he was gone.
“Hello?”
“Wuz up, sexy.”
I recognized that cocky voice anywhere. “Hey, Marcus.”
“What are you doing?”
“Just getting home.”
“From where?”
I chuckled. “None of your business.”
“It is my business.”
“Since when? I just met you?”
“Since we started going out.”
I frowned as I grabbed a soda from the fridge and sat down to watch a little tv. “Who said we were going out?”
“I did……that and well, your body language at the diner too.”
“You are such a liar.” I laughed.
“Am I? I didn’t catch you staring when you first laid eyes on this sexy piece of all man? Or the kiss I gave you on your hand…..”
“You didn’t ‘see’ anything. You’re just so damn cocky and arrogant, you ‘thought’ you saw something.”
He made this throaty laugh. Even over the phone, I could still feel it’s vibrations, making me want to shudder…….in a very good way. “Believe what you want. Can I come over?”
“Nope.”
“Why?”
“Cause I don’t know you well enough to invite you to my place. For all I know, you could be some psychotic killer.”
“Well I’m not. I just want to have sex with you a little bit…..”
“I’m hanging up now…..”
“Wait. Wait. I’m just playing. Seriously, if you don’t want me to come over……yet…..lets meet somewhere and hang out. I wanna get to know you better.”
“Where?”
“The zoo.”
“The….The zoo?”
“Yeah. I like animals. So how ‘bout it? Meet me at the zoo around four?”
I sighed. “Alright. I’ll meet you there.”
***
He was standing infront of the lion exhibit when I found him. Dressed cool, he wore white with blue and red stripe windbreaker pants, red t-shirt, and white tennis shoes. Something was oddly sexy about watching his mouth aimlessly suck on a big, bright red lollipop.
“Hey.” I said.
He turned towards me with a smile. “Hey yourself.” He eyed my khaki skirt and white tank. “You looking good.”
“Thank you. You like lions?”
“Yeah. They’re ferocious beasts. Did you know the males didn’t do the hunting for their packs, it was the females?”
“Really? I didn’t know that.”
“It’s fascinating reading about animals. So many things they do that you wouldn’t expect.” He pulled out his lollipop. “Well, you ready to walk around a bit?”
“Sure.”
As we walked together, Marcus reached into his pocket and pulled out a grape flavored BlowPop, holding it out to me. “Want one? Makes your tongue turn purple.”
I smiled. “Thanks.” I opened the sucker and popped it in my mouth.
“So, are you originally from here?”
I shook my head. “Parker’s Hill, Florida.”
“Ah. The Sunshine State. Why’d you leave?”
“I didn’t get along with my father. We’re not very close. He practically hates me. We had an argument one night and I ran away.”
“Get out of here. Really?” I nodded. “He must’ve been a shitty father then, cause you ran clear across the country to get away from him.”
“Yeah. He’ll definitely never get the Father of the Year Award.”
“And how long have you been here?”
“Around two years now.”
“Plan on going back home?”
I sighed. “Well, that’s a tough question……I’m kinda split on that. In a way I do cause I have a mother and two siblings that I miss, and in a way I don’t cause I don’t want to hear my father’s mouth.”
“But you should though. I’m sure your folks would love to see you.”
I shrugged. “What about you? What’s your story?”
Marcus pulled the red sucker out of his mouth. “I’m not from here either. I grew up in Miami.”
“You’re from Florida too?” he nodded. “I’m not too surprised by that though. You carry that Florida look.”
He smiled. He had a beautiful bright smile. “And what look is that?”
“I don’t know. It’s just a certain look. I can’t explain it. Why’d you leave?”
“I grew tired of it. I’d spent 20 years there and I got bored. So I thought, ‘Go to Vegas. You’ll never be bored there’. So I left. I’ve been here for four years now.” He looked down at me. “You mind if I hold your hand?”
“Um no.” Marcus slid his hand in mine, lacing our fingers together. Then he raised them and kissed the back of my hand. *shudders with a sigh* he was slowly wrapping me around his finger.
Together, we stopped and looked at the tigers, gorillas, orangutans, hippos, bears, and the sea exhibit. It smelled like hell, but it was fun. I had a blast with Marcus. It was strange, he knew more information about those animals than the exhibits showed.
He started to chuckle while we walked to the zoo exit. “What’s so funny?” I asked.
“Your tongue is purple.”
I stuck out my tongue and peeked down at it. “A deep purple too. So is yours though.”
“Yeah, but you can’t tell it as bad since mine is red. Your tongue looks like an eggplant.”
I shoved him playfully. “You ass.”
We reached the exit and I started to reach in my purse for some change.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m getting change to call a taxi.”
“You don’t need to do that. I can take you home. You don’t have to hunt for 50 cents to call me, I’m already here, and I don’t charge you when I drop you off.”
“I don’t want to put you out like that.”
Marcus rolled his eyes. “My car is this way. I believe you know which one it is.”
Smiling, I followed him to the parking lot and hopped into his red Range Rover. I sat silent as we drove down the road. I was looking out the window at the passing buildings, when I heard Marcus fooling with the radio. Then, I heard him sing:
“I'm going out tonight I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise really raise my voice
Yeah I wanna scream and shout
No inhibitions make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time
The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
Oh oh oh go totally crazy--forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts--short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild--yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action--feel the attraction
Color my hair--do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free--yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman! …..”
I started to laugh. Shania Twain! He was singing Shania!
“What? Don’t hate.” Marcus said.
“I can’t believe you’re singing country music.”
“Believe it, baby. I’m universal when it comes to music.”
I chuckled. “I see.”
Marcus started to laugh. “Oh don’t act like you don’t know the words either. Everybody know’s Shania.”
“I don’t know the words.”
“Lying!”
“I am not!”
“Sing the song, Gwen.”
“I don’t know the song!”
He started to sing again.
“The girls need a break--tonight we're gonna take
The chance to get out on the town
We don't need romance--we only wanna dance
We're gonna let our hair hang down…..”
”Come on, Gwen.” he pushed. I put my hands over my face and started to sing with him.
“The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...”
“Bring it home, girl!” Marcus said, encouraging me. I put my hands down and broke loose.
“Oh oh oh go totally crazy--forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts--short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild--yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action--feel the attraction
Color my hair--do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free--yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman! …..”
R&R.