More than Anyone

She had been home for almost a week and she was no where near closer to deciding just how she was going to pay Ben back. Staring at her checkbook balance and her savings account, she was slightly disappointed to find that no money had magically appeared in her funds. She sighed heavily, cradling her head in her hands. It would probably take her years to pay him back. But she was going to pay him back. No matter how long it took. Olivia still had a little trouble wrapping her head around just how much Ben obviously had. He didn’t like to talk about it so she had respected that and kept quiet but questions had been bursting at the seams. He certainly didn’t live as someone who had money did. She had never seen where he lived but he lived in the same building as Jamie and having seen Jamie’s apartment, she knew that someone with money wouldn’t live in a place like that. But he did which only confused her more. He seemed almost ashamed of his wealth, quite determined to hide it.



The rest of the trip had gone off without a hitch. Ben had taken her to some Scottish ruins as promised though he had tugged her away from the tour group and had given her his own knowledge of the castles. The way he spoke with so much pride over the country’s history had made her smile. It was odd. Ben was as much American as he was Scottish but he more than likely probably never spoke of any of the monuments in Washington DC as he did when walking through dilapidating Scottish castles. He spoke of Robert the Bruce as if he had actually been alive in the 1300s and had witnessed such battles and historical events. After driving back to London, they had spent one more day with Jamie and Violet before flying back home. This time, she had downed some Nyquil and passed out before even takeoff. Ben had found that to be extremely humorous.



She hadn’t seen him since they arrived back in Chicago but she had expected that. There was something between them that had been happening in England and Scotland and she was certain that all they needed was space from one another before returning to the way things used to be before their vacation. Olivia now sat on her couch, a composition notebook propped open in her lap as she furiously tried to do simple math problems only to be disappointed when she kept coming to the same conclusion. Paying Ben back for everything he had done was going to be one hell of a challenge. But if Olivia loved anything, it was a challenge.



A knock on her door made her sigh in relief. Looking at her lack of money could seriously depress her and it was a beautiful Saturday morning. She had better things she could do. Closing the notebook and tossing it onto the coffee table, she went to go see who was there though she had an idea.



“Livi!” Sammy shouted excitedly, leaping into his sister’s arms.



“Oof,” she said at the sudden weight but she smiled. “Hey, Sammy. Hi, mom,” Olivia greeted Maria Grange before stepping aside so her mother could enter the apartment.



“Hi, baby,” Maria smiled, hugging Olivia as best as she could with Sammy in her arms. She kissed her cheek affectionately before breezing into the living room, collapsing onto the couch with such grace, Olivia wondered if she was in fact Maria’s daughter. Maria Grange was beautiful and had seemed to pass all of her looks onto her first born, Sophia, saving none for Olivia. She had grace and elegance and she reminded Olivia of Grace Kelly though as a brunette. “Now, let me see these pictures you took.”



Olivia smiled then putting Sammy back on his feet, he immediately scampering off to the bin of toys Olivia had just for him in the corner, she went into her bedroom, grabbing the three packets of photographs she had developed from her trip as soon as she got back. She sat down next to Maria on the couch, handing her all seventy-two pictures. “I went a little crazy with my camera.”



“Good,” Maria smiled, taking the first stack. “Oh, my goodness,” she said upon looking at the first picture.



Olivia smiled as well. “It’s the Tower of London. It was so cool to finally see it in person though the wait to get in was ridiculously long.”



“No, honey. I meant, Oh, my goodness, who is that?” Maria asked, pointing at the man.



“Oh,” Olivia blushed despite herself. “That’s Ben,” she said with a casual shrug.



Maria’s eyes bugged. “That’s Ben?” She was shocked for a moment as she stared at the shot her daughter had taken of the unbelievably gorgeous handsome traveling companion, soaked in the rain and giving a smile that would make most women swoon to their feet. She flipped to the next picture and couldn’t help but smile. Olivia had obviously gotten a fellow tourist to snap this one for both were in it. The Tower loomed behind them as they stood in line, Ben’s arm around Olivia’s shoulders and both her arms around his waist. They were smiling and Maria wished her daughter always looked that happy. “And you had fun with him?”



Olivia was silent for a moment then nodded her head. “Yeah. As strange as it seems, I did. He even took me to Scotland for a couple days.” She nodded when Maria looked at her with surprise. “His mom’s Scottish and he grew up there until he was twelve. Mom, it was so beautiful. He lives in Kingussie, which is right between Edinburgh and Inverness and it’s in the Highlands and he took me horseback riding and I picked heather...” she trailed off, flipping through the last stack of photos. “Here’s Ben’s horse, Dubhshìth.”



Maria stared at Olivia for a few minutes in wonderment. Something had happened during her trip. She just didn’t know what. There seemed to be color that had burst forth upon her cheeks and she seemed to be practically radiating. She had never seen Olivia look so happy with life. She took the photograph and she smiled. “My! That is a large horse.”



“I told Ben that Dubhshìth is unnaturally large,” Olivia smiled.



Her mother laughed softly then looked at her, reaching over and tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. “So, it was everything you imagined?”



Olivia nodded her head, her eyes welling with tears. “It was so beautiful, mom. In Scotland... I didn’t want to leave.”



“Why did you then?” Maria asked, never understanding why Olivia never seemed to do what she truly wanted. She had never seen someone who almost seemed to refuse to follow their dreams like Olivia always seemed to do. “Livi, you could have stayed there. If you really wanted to.”



Olivia shook her head, smiling sadly. “No, I couldn’t have. Mom,” she paused to take a shaky breath. “I’m broke,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper. “In fact, I’m pretty much in debt now because I owe Ben so much money since he paid for everything except my plane ticket.”



“What?” Maria gasped, understandably in shock. “Livi, why didn’t you tell me and dad? We would have given you money. You know we would have! We still will. How much do you need?”



Before she could reach for her purse to get her checkbook, Olivia stopped her. “No, mom. I’m fine.” She shook her head again while Maria stared at her. “I got myself into this so I’m going to get out of this myself.”



Maria couldn’t contain the loud sigh. “I will never understand why you feel the need to be so stubborn. Livi, there’s a thing as being too independent. It’s okay to ask for help.”



As expected, Olivia shook her head in refusal. “I’ll figure something out, mom,” she promised, patting Maria’s hand. “I always do,” she added with a smile that was much forced. “Now,” she got to her feet. “Do you want to come with me and Sammy to the aquarium?”



Maria looked up at her middle child. Olivia was one of those who seemed to not actually know just how beautiful she was. Her hair was worn down that day and Maria noticed that she was wearing it with the natural wave in it instead of straightening it like she usually did. She did seem to be paler from the lack of sunshine over in England and with it, the freckles splashed across the bridge of her nose that Olivia despised had faded. Her large brown eyes however, the eyes that reminded people of that of a doe’s, were bright and Maria couldn’t help but wonder if they were because of her vacation or because something had happened between her daughter and her traveling companion. She knew better than to ask though. And she also knew her daughter well enough to know that Olivia would not accept any sort of help from her parents, or anyone else for that matter. Olivia had always been fiercely independent when it came to her financial state. She had always insisted of earning things on her own without any type of aid. So instead, she stood up, sighing. “No. You take your brother to see the sharks. I’d rather go shopping on Michigan Avenue anyway.”



Olivia smiled, nodding her head. “Okay. I’ll call you on your cell when we’re done.”



That only made Maria laugh though. She kissed Olivia’s cheek then hugged her, rubbing her hands up and down her back. “You know your brother. I’ll be calling YOU when I’m done. He’ll keep you there all day.”



-~-~-~-



It was not the day Olivia had envisioned when she had invited her friends to come with her and Sammy to Shedd Aquarium. Harry and Anne had come, bringing Danny and Chris, which was perfectly fine with her. Olivia loved spending time with Harry and his kids. And she and Anne had always gotten along, Olivia surprisingly being the only one at first to approve of their hasty marriage five years earlier after Harry and Anne had only known one another for three days.



What she hadn’t planned on however was Toby tagging along and bringing his fiancée, Sadie, with him. They now stood in the long admission line to buy their tickets and the only thing Olivia could do was stand behind the couple as they whispered in each other’s ears, clinging to one another as they smiled and laughed and kissed. Olivia felt sick to her stomach. How was she expected to spend an entire day, watching them act like a lovey-dovey perfect couple? She couldn’t and she shouldn’t have been expected to. She didn’t want to have a bad day. She really didn’t but spending it as a spectator to Toby’s now perfect life, she’d be miserable.



She looked around desperately, seeing if any of the other lines were shorter but it being a Saturday, the aquarium was crowded with tourists and people streaming in from the suburbs to spend the day in the city. She had to get away from this. Harry and Anne had their hands full with their kids and Olivia was not about to take Sammy from there without showing him the sharks. Perhaps, she could lose them all once they got their tickets and were inside.



Sammy tugged on her shirt and pointed. “Look, Livi.”



Olivia followed his pointed finger and realized that her eyes were glassed over with tears. At the moment, she had never been more happy to see him. Maybe he could save her from Toby and his fiancée, though she didn’t know how he would do it. Ben stood there, about to go through the exits, but he stopped once he saw her and gave her a hesitant smile. She smiled in return and she watched as his eyes drifted past her to see Toby and Sadie embraced in a passionate kiss. He frowned slightly at the scene and before she could shake her head to tell him that she was fine, he approached her.



“Hey,” she greeted softly, meeting his eyes hesitantly. She wondered why he always seemed to be around when she was at her worse. She hated seeming weak in anyone’s eyes, especially his. He didn’t respond though but kept his eyes locked with hers.



Ben wrapped one arm around her waist and rested his other hand under her hair to cup the back of her head. She couldn’t think. There was no time to do such a trivial thing for he bent his head, gathered her closely to him and captured her mouth with his. It was no polite kiss. It actually sent a shiver down her spine. She didn’t push him away. She couldn’t even imagine doing such a thing at the moment. Instead, she found herself looping her arms up around his neck. She closed her eyes and let herself be lost to the sensations wreaking havoc on both her body and mind. She was grateful that Ben held her so tightly. If not, she feared she would fall to her knees. He kissed her again and again until she wondered if she would ever be able to take a normal breath in her life. And then, as if she could stand anymore, Ben kissed her deeply. Her mind went completely blank and all she could focus on was Ben’s hand in her hair, his mouth over hers. She had never had someone kiss her so before.



With one more brief, hard kiss on the mouth, Ben pulled his head back, his chest heaving. He looked unnerved by it all which put her at ease some. At least she knew that she was not the only one who’s head was reeling. She stared at him, her body humming and burning. And she ached. She ached with a desire to go back into his arms and never leave. No. It wasn’t a desire. It seemed to be more of a need. She knew that after such intensity, things could never be the same between them. Not after that. They couldn’t be the same.



“Hey,” she managed to breathe again and he smiled.



“Hi,” he said softly, staring at her intently. “Sorry about that.”



She shook her head, trying to still collect herself. “That was fine.”



“Fine?” He asked, smiling and now teasing her. Neither noticed the looks her friends were giving them. Toby had stopped kissing Sadie the instant Ben had come and taken Olivia in his arms, frowning and glaring at Ben, and Sadie was giving her fiancé a hard stare. Anne was pretending to not have seen as if it was her attempt at giving them privacy and instead, rubbed Chris’s back soothingly. Harry, unlike his wife, was watching and had a wide grin on his face.



“Come over here for a second,” Olivia said, tilting her head slightly. “Harry, can you watch Sammy for a second?” She asked.



“Take all the time you need,” Harry grinned.



She rolled her eyes at him and smiled as Anne elbowed Harry in the side. Olivia and Ben stepped out of the line and moved towards the gift shop. They stood there for a moment, facing one another, neither speaking.



Olivia cleared her throat. “Just out of curiosity, what are you doing here?” She finally had the courage to meet his eyes, which were staring intently at her.



“My dad was a big patron of the aquarium and I was just coming by to drop off a check,” he explained. “I should be surprised that you’re here but I’m not. We can’t seem to stay away from one another,” he smiled.



She blushed and shook her head. “No, we can’t,” she said softly. “I don’t think that saying thank you is really sufficed but...” She sighed with a faint smile. “Thank you for that. You didn’t have to though.”



He shrugged then glanced at her friends before back at her. “Toby’s kind of an asshole to do that in front of you.”



“He doesn’t know that I ever... well, you know,” she said quickly, her cheeks blushing.



“Well, then, he’s a retarded asshole,” Ben decided and he reveled in her laughter. He stared at her for a few minutes and she finally sobered enough to stop laughing, and smiling, entirely.



“What?” She asked unsurely.



He shook his head. “You confuse the hell out of me.”



She stared at him. “Well, you’re not exactly crystal clear to me either,” she said. “Well,” she began after a minute’s pause. “Now that you have completely blind-sided me by kissing the hell out of me...”



“I was trying to help you,” he explained softly, watching her carefully to see if the kiss had affected her as it did him. It had shaken him down to his very core and he was certain that he did not even want to begin to examine why the kiss had affected him in such a way. It was not as if he could openly admit to her that their kiss had shaken him down to his toes. He was all out of sorts and he hated feeling as if he was not in control.



She nodded. “I know that,” she whispered then shifted, seeming to grow increasingly uncomfortable with the situation. “I just don’t want to keep owing you for helping me.”



He sighed so heavily, it was as if it was possible for him to blow her over. “You are, with no question, the most impossible woman I have ever met.”



Olivia opened her mouth to respond but instead, remained silent. She turned her head to look at her friends. They were finally moving closer to the counter to buy their tickets. Toby had his arm around Sadie but he continually kept glancing over his shoulder back towards them, frowning. Olivia wondered what his problem was. He couldn’t possibly be jealous of that kiss Ben had given her though Ben had been trying to make Toby jealous. Toby was engaged. He shouldn’t have been jealous over the most earth-shattering kiss she had ever received.



“Well, mission accomplished,” Ben spoke as if he had been reading her thoughts. “Toby can’t stop looking over here just in case I decided to violate you against this wall.”



She couldn’t help but smile at that. She looked at him solemnly, tilting her head slightly as if she was looking for the answer to the riddle that was Ben Norfolk. She wondered if the kiss had affected him as it did her. Her heart was still pounding in her chest. That kiss would make the finest Hollywood embrace envious. It didn’t seem to have. Maybe it was his prerogative to walk up to women and kiss them to make ex-crushes jealous. After meeting his mother, she wouldn’t doubt it. Madelyn had definitely instilled chivalry into her only son. “Ben, do you...” she trailed off for a moment. He waited. “I’m sure you’re busy but if you wanted to, I know no one would mind and since you seemed to enjoy making Toby jealous...”



“I can get us in for free,” Ben offered, able to read between the lines of her stuttering.



She instantly shook her head like he knew she would. “I can pay,” she said firmly.



He bit back a smile. She was nervous. He was making her nervous and he knew that it had everything to do with that kiss. He honestly hadn’t meant to do it. He had just seen her though with Toby making out behind her and looking into her eyes, it was as if he was suddenly sharing the pain she felt and he couldn’t take it. He had to do something for her and kissing her was the first thing that popped into his head. And if he knew kissing her was going to be like that- He couldn’t finish that thought. It had definitely been a one time thing. Just because it had been the most heart-stopping kiss he had ever had didn’t mean that he was just going to start grabbing her and making out with her. That would just be too weird.



“Livi!” Harry shouted from the line. “Get your ass back here!”



Olivia turned and saw that Toby and Sadie were now paying for their admission tickets. She then looked at Ben again. “I should go,” she said softly, still not entirely sure of what to say to him. Somehow, thanking him for making out with her just seemed too weird. She didn’t move though and neither did he. Without giving it too much thought, she raised herself up on her toes and brushed her lips across his cheek. “You can still come if you want,” she said, her cheeks flamed red. “It would give you a chance to make Toby jealous some more.” She realized what she said. “Not that you need to spend an afternoon making out with me. I don’t want that.”



“Of course you don’t,” Ben smiled, sounding smug. Thank God she was crazy from that kiss. He didn’t feel so crazy himself anymore.



“Livi!” Sammy shouted this time, anxious to get inside the aquarium and see the sharks.



“I have to go,” Olivia said, avoiding his eyes. She raked nervous fingers through her hair as she turned and rushed back into line. Sammy extended his arms for her and she swept him up and rested him on her hip as naturally as any mother would have with their child.



Ben watched, the scene tugging at his heart. He wanted that. He wanted to have a wife and a child he could take to museums and spend beautiful Saturday afternoons with. His eyes moved to Harry and Anne with their two young children. Anne held the baby, Chris, just three months old, while Harry had his hands full with three-year-old, Danny. Oh, how he wanted a family.



“Ben!” Harry shouted through his reverie. “You coming?”



He remained motionless for a moment- until Olivia turned and looked at him. Maybe spending more time with her wouldn’t be a bad thing. They hadn’t spoken since, sharing a cab home from the airport, he saw her home. He had thought time away from her would be a good thing. What happened in Scotland had been far too confusing for him. They had gotten along with one another, for the most part, and he had enjoyed his time with her. He still couldn’t shake the look of complete awe she had had when he had grabbed her hand and tugged her up onto the battlements of one of the castles. She had stared out over the land, the wind pulling at her hair, and the setting sun shining on her face. The image almost knocked him flat and a week later, he could close his eyes and still see it.



And that kiss that they had just shared, oh my God. It was still searing on his lips. They were staring at one another and Olivia gave him the faintest of all smiles. He ignored the tightening of his chest and smiled too, nodding his head as he began to walk towards her.