School Girls' Stories - New Generation

Chapter 12 – Innocent Dreams Shattered

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go in there with you?” Shai asked for about the tenth time since they had pulled into the parking lot of the fancy restaurant where Kaori had insisted was the perfect place to meet her daughter for the first time. Shai’s leg was twitching and if she smoked Bliss was sure that there would have been a cigarette dangling from her mouth to help control the adrenaline rush prospering through her veins.

“Mom, why do you seem so worried?” Bliss asked. She had dressed up for the occasion, taking off her normal black grunge and instead replacing it with a little black dress that had once belonged to Shai, but Shai had ‘grown’ out of it a few years ago. Shai often dumped on her new weight, but her husband seemed to enjoy every inch that had grown and took advantage of her every chance he received, making his children gag.

“I’m just, you are meeting your mom for the first time,” Shai amended, “your real mom. This is as hard for me as it is for you, believe me. And there’s some things I didn’t tell you, about your mom.”

Bliss let out a huge smile, large enough to brighten the car for a fraction of a second before her normal dark brooding look returned. “Mom, I know you could not have told me the whole truth because you told me so little,” Bliss admitted. “You were just trying to protect me, but now I can know, and I can know from her.”

She had no idea. She was going in there excited to meet this woman, and how disappointed was she going to be? Was she going to hate Shai and Kyoei for the lies they told? Was she going to be horridly struck down by what Kaori told her? Or worse, would this trigger something in her that had been sleeping as Shai’s child, but as Kaori’s child would be awaken? Why did she agree to let Kyoei convince her that this might be a good idea? Why had Bliss learned that Kaori and James were in town? Why wasn’t he retired like he was supposed to be?

Bliss was already halfway out of the car before Shai snapped back to reality. “Do you want me to wait?” she called out.

Bliss shook her head, leaning back into the car and smiling at her mother. “No, it’s all right,” she insisted. “I’ll be fine, maybe they will give me a ride home, and if not, I will call you, I promise. Don’t worry, Mom.” Bliss closed the door and Shai feared it was the last time she would ever hear Bliss call her ‘Mom’ again.

Bliss walked into the restaurant and even from the front door she spotted her mom sitting in the back. She was mildly disappointed when her mom was all she could see, but it was a start. Maybe her dad was in the bathroom somewhere, too nervous to come out.

Bliss, with all the pride and dignity she could muster, walked through the restaurant and was surprised at the amount of stares she received. Maybe they all could not help thinking she looked like Kaori, who was James’s wife. James had to be there, he had to. Bliss was so excited to meet him and his mom both he did not care if it was only for five minutes.

Bliss slid into the booth, across from her real mother, and smiled up at her. Kaori was smiling happily, looking pleased to see her daughter. She moved her own menu aside to give Bliss her menu and then said, “I’m sorry James will not be making it tonight,” much to Bliss’s chagrin.

“That’s all right,” Bliss told Kaori, and herself, despite the fact that her heart burned with the statement. “I’m glad I have the chance to be here with one of you, and I’m glad it’s you.”

Kaori smiled at her daughter as if she did not believe her, examining her closely, looking her over. Was she making sure she had ten fingers and ten toes? Bliss always heard that parents did that when the child was born.

“You look much like I did at your age,” Kaori admitted, it was the first thing out of her mouth. “Except you look much … nicer than I was. Are you still a virgin?”

Bliss would have choked on water at the statement if she had bothered taking a drink. Was that a typical first question from a mom? “Y…yes,” she admitted, not sure if she was supposed to be embarrassed of that fact or proud.

“That’s good!” Kaori said happily. “I wasn’t at your age. Heck, at your age I had already run away from home and gone to Canada with my brother.”

Bliss did not know how to react to that. She had been told that Kaori met her husband in Canada, but no one ever told her how she ended up in Canada. “I, I didn’t even know you had a brother.”

Kaori narrowed her eyes. “Has Shai told you anything about your family at all?”

Bliss hesitated before shaking her head. “No,” she said honestly, “she has been pretty tight lipped about you besides telling me you and James were my parents.”

Kaori nodded her head. The waiter came and the two of them ordered drinks, but neither had it in them to eat. Kaori lied about Bliss’s age and gave her something a bit stronger than a virgin pina colada. When the drinks had come and the waiter was gone Kaori continued. “Do you know Yuki?” Kaori asked.

Bliss nodded. “Yes, she’s Mom, er, Shai’s best friend,” Bliss admitted. “Right now we are sort of fighting with their children though.”

“That’s a shame, since your cousins would be those children,” Kaori pointed out. At Bliss’s odd look Kaori continued. “Yuki is my little sister. Nakago was our older brother.”

“I, they never told me that Yuki was my aunt,” Bliss admitted. “I guess it could make me feel bad that I’m feuding with her children then, but damn that Yuna is such a… um, sorry.”

Kaori was laughing, much to Bliss’s surprise. “It’s all right, no need to apologize to me,” Kaori said heartily. “I never got along with Yuki myself when I was younger, and most of the time I just caused trouble for her, so it’s good to know that that part of me hasn’t died. I might have to drop by and say hello to my little sister.”

“Oh… Well, um, you didn’t tell me why you went to Canada,” Bliss pointed out.

Kaori turned and looked to her daughter, watching her, assessing her before she made a decision. Finally seemed to come to that decision she smiled and said, “I’m going to tell you the truth, but you can not blame Shai for not telling you. Shai has tried to do everything right by you, and I can see she did a very good job, but… there are things about me that created you that are not great.

“Don’t say anything, just let me talk for a minute,” Kaori continued, watching Bliss open her mouth to interrupt. “A long time ago I fell in love with someone, but our love was forbidden, very forbidden, for you see the person I was in love with was my older brother. He, however, turned out to be a murderer, and when he escaped from the institution they put him in, he came to rescue me from my Aunt here in America. I was sent here because I was a raging whore. I married James for the money, not for the love. And the person I love is your father, not James.”

Bliss’s head whirled. Did she just tell her what she thought she just told her? Did she hear that right? “So, you’re saying, my uncle, is really my father?”

Kaori thought about it for a minute, had the gall to laugh, and then nodded. “Yep, I guess that is the verdict,” she said. When she saw the horrified look on Bliss’s face she waved her hands in the air (like she just didn’t care?) and said, “Don’t look so worried. You turned out fine, didn’t you? And I thought it was best you knew the truth.”

“That I’m the result of some incestuous relationship between you and your brother?” Bliss’s voice was a little too high and Kaori looked around, hoping no one heard. They had already been staring all night anyway, and someone was bound to hear, but maybe it would go unnoticed. She doubted it, though. Her relationship with James had been coming to an end for a while now, anyway. This would be a horrific way to keep her in the papers, get sympathy, and end the relationship if it came to it.

“I loved Nakago,” Kaori snapped. “He was the most important person in my life.”

“Loved?” Bliss asked, catching that one little slip. For a moment her heart sank, because now that she knew the truth was she only going to find out her father was dead?

“He left me a few years ago,” Kaori explained. “His love was not strong enough to last through the… the other relationships I was having. He was true to me, but I was not true to him, nor was I even true to him and James. I’ve never been a good girl, I’ve had more men than there probably are in this fair city, trust me I can not blame him, though I miss him.”

“Do you know where he went?” Why was she asking this? She wanted to run away now and pretend she had never met her mother. She wanted to bury her head in her blankets and cry and pretend all along that Shai and Kyoei were really her parents because they would never have just blurted anything like this out. No wonder Shai looked so nervous.

“Last I heard he came here, to Chicago,” Kaori pointed out. “I was hoping I would find him, it is why I came with James on location. I have not seen him, though.”

Bliss saw the look of disappointment on Kaori’s face, and though she was angry with her mother, and wanted very much to run away, she could see the genuine feelings on Kaori’s face, the real grit somewhere beneath it all. Kaori had loved Nakago with all of her heart, and in that moment it showed as if she had opened her chest up and just revealed that bleeding heart.

“I…”

“No need to give me excuses,” Kaori said to Bliss, watching her search her mind for an escape. “You can leave, I won’t hold you back. I just, I wanted you to know the truth and I know Shai and Kyo would never tell it to you. For good reason, of course. Bliss, I’m glad I did what I did, and I’m glad you are who you are. If you had been with me you never would have turned out so beautiful, or so smart. Don’t hate me for who I love, or who your Daddy is. Hate me because I could not just love one person. And I can’t love you enough.”

“Wow,” Bliss said, sitting back for a second. “Just, wow. I guess this wasn’t what I expected when I finally met my mother.”

“It’s why for nearly eighteen years you haven’t,” Kaori admitted. “There were opportunities, many, but Shai and Kyoei kept you away from me as best they could, and it’s too bad. I guess you could have gotten this over with much sooner, but when I was younger I think I was still naïve enough to want to take you with me, even a year ago I think I might have tried to convince you to come with because I felt so alone. It wasn’t until recently I realized that my worth was little, and the only thing I did right in my life was giving you up to Shai and Kyoei. How are they, by the way?”

Bliss was appalled and it showed. Kaori nodded, knowing what was going to come from Bliss next. “I have to go,” she said, standing from the booth and looking down at the woman who was her mother. “I’m glad, I really am, that I know the truth, but I really wish I could have stayed oblivious to you and your world. I’m glad this was short, because I could not stand to know more than I do.” Bliss turned on her heel and began walking out.

Kaori stood from the booth, watching her daughter’s back walk away, her heart shredding into pieces as the last thing that was important to her left the diner. What had she done? “Bliss, I love you!” she called, but she did not even know if Bliss heard because a second later she was out the door and into the cold.

Bliss had not come five paces out of the restaurant when a car pulled up along the sidewalk. Bliss smiled through the tears that were burning at her eyes and slid into the car. “You waited.”

“I had to,” Shai told her and drove off with her daughter, reaching over and squeezing her hand, Bliss weakly squeezing back, but her squeezing back was all of the sign that Shai needed that she at least still had Bliss as a daughter.