Unforgivables

My breath caught in my throat as Brian laid me back. His eyes bore into mine as he maneuvered himself completely over me. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I couldn’t remember how that one kiss in the rain had led to a more heated kiss, which had led to our room, which had led to him lying me back. My body was tingling all over and his eyes on mine made me feel so vulnerable. Like he could do what he wanted with me and I couldn’t stop him.

His lips came down and captured mine again. I closed my eyes and wrapped an arm around his neck. Slowly the kiss got deeper. Brian parted my lips with his tongue and I moaned as his tongue slid inside my mouth. I could feel my heart pounding as his tongue slid along mine and one of his hands went to my waist.

I gasped his name into his lips as his hand slid inside my shirt. Everything was burning but it wasn’t like before. His lips trailed back and kissed behind my ear. I looked down and saw his hand sliding up my shirt. I clamped my eyes shut and my hands gripped Brian as in wandering hand found my nipple. The way he teased it sent chills down my spin and I could barely hold back the moans that were building in my throat.

He pulled away and I barely had time to think before my shirt was over my head and his lips were on my neck. A hidden moan escaped my lips as Brian lightly bit my collarbone and I began to pant hard as those lips trailed further still. My back arched from the bed and my head tilted back as his tongue outlined my nipple yet did not touch it. I wanted it...I wanted it so bad and it was so confusing.

A small cry escaped my lips as he finally closed his mouth around it. I could feel his tongue run along it, I could feel the suction of his mouth, and I could surely feel his teeth as they brushed against my sensitive skin. His other hand joined in then. Going over to rub and pinch the twin. I tossed my head from the pleasure building inside me. From the things he was putting my body through. So long, so long had I gone disconnected from the world and now...now he was attacking all of my senses and it was like all I could think, see, feel, hear, and smell was him.

He switched the attention. Giving the reverse treatment and by this time I could no longer contain what my body was feeling. I moaned as his every touch sparked something deep inside me that I had not known was there. My eyes widened as I felt one of his legs slip between my own and I pushed him away. I sat up and backed away a little, knowing my face was completely flushed, though Brian was in no better shape then I was.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked. I shook my head. He hadn’t hurt me but that...feeling that, feeling his leg come up between my own. Knowing what would come of this, it was to much. “Then what is it? Did I scare you? I didn’t mean to I swear.”

I turned my head away from him and stared down at the bed I was on. “Maybe...maybe this isn’t a good idea.”

My eyes closed. I didn’t want to see his reaction to that. I couldn’t do it though. I couldn’t give myself to someone that I would most likely never see again. Especially not Brian. I couldn’t know what being with him felt like and then have it be taken away. It just wasn’t an option for me. “Oh...” finally came from his direction. “Yeah, I understand.”

It felt like I had just had my heart torn out and jumped on. How could I have done such a thing? How could I have been such a jerk? I should have told him no to begin with. Out when he first kissed me I should have told him that it could never happen. “I’m sorry Brian.”

“It’s fine.” I felt him leave my bed and nothing had ever felt more cold. I had never felt so alone as I did at that point. To have all the heat he had just put into me sucked out. Tears began to fall from my eyes. I was such an awful person. God I was such a horrible person.

For the next few days I could tell he was ignoring me. In fact, he hadn’t been in our room at all when I had woken up. Not once. Usually he was there one day but not this time. That and he hadn’t been in his regular spot by the window. I actually don’t know where he went to. I did see him at night, when he came in to go to bed, but other then that I didn’t know where he was. For the first time I was alone in this place and I was starting to see what he had gone through all the time that I was gone. I was starting to see what could have changed him so much. It was a horrible feeling to have no one, and even more horrible to know that you had gotten rid of the only person you had once had.

When my final night came I sat in my room. All I did was sit there. I had gone in there at six and just sat there. Anyone else would have been jumping for joy because they got to get out of a place like this. Not me. How could I leave? How could I leave having Brian hate me so much? I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. But I knew a few hours was not enough to make up for the circles I ran him through. For making him think...for doing such a thing.

The door opened and Brian’s form appeared. His eyes fell on me and he froze for a minute before closing the door and walking over to his bed. It was silent. We both just sat there not knowing what to do or say. “You’re leaving tomorrow.” came his voice and I looked up to see he was staring at the wall to the left of him.

“Yeah, I am.” I muttered and lowered my head again. “You’d think I would be more excited.”

“Depends on the person.” he muttered and then lay back on his bed staring at the ceiling. “What does your aunt’s place look like?”

I thought a moment. “I don’t know.” he looked over to me for just a second before back at the ceiling. I knew what he was doing. Trying to confirm if I was telling him the truth or not. I was. I had never been there. She had never wanted me at her house. “It’s in the valley. I know that much.”

His eyes drifted shut. “I used to live in the valley.”

“What?” I asked completely shocked that he was telling me this.
“Before I came here that is where I lived.” he answered. “In a little cottage out in the valley. With my mother and my grandpa. The place flooded out though, in a flash flood, and they were killed.” he opened his eyes to look at the ceiling. “Not me though. I wasn’t hurt at all.”

“Brian...” I muttered and he looked over at me. It was in my eyes. I knew he could see it in my eyes. How much I truly wanted him at that moment. How much I truly didn’t want to leave. He looked away from me though. “Brian.”

He sighed and closed his eyes. “You better get some sleep Christopher. It’s a long trip to the valley.”

That had hurt. Now I knew what I had done to him. Why he hated me so much. “If I never see you again...I promise...I wont forget you.”

“I wont forget you either Christopher Brown.” he muttered. “Never could I ever forget you.”

The morning came all to soon. I don’t think I slept all night. The whole time I think I just sat there and stared at Brian. I don’t really know if he went to sleep either. All I know is that all of a sudden the door opened and there was a nurse there. I stood and looked over at Brian who still had his eyes closed. Maybe that was better. Maybe it was better there was no goodbye. Still...I had wanted to see his eyes just one last time.

The door closed behind me and that was it. I looked at the car in front of me that my aunt was sitting in. Once I got in that car we would be off. We’d be on to a knew life. For a moment I thought about freaking out right there on the sidewalk. Pretending to have a fit or something so I could go back. So I didn’t have to leave. What hell Brian would me through then. Yelling at me because I was so stupid for not just leaving. I didn’t want him to yell at me. I didn’t want him to hate me. So, I’d go. Maybe it was best to leave and not hear anything. Then again, was it best to leave without ever knowing?

Sliding into the car I looked back at the place that had once been my prison. “Now, you are going to come home, get cleaned up, and then we’ll have your things from the McKinney’s brought over. That’s what we’ll so. Christopher? Are you listening to me?”

“Yes aunt Helen.” I muttered as I watched the building go by. “I’m always listening.”


A/N : Don’t hate me! I warned you. I warned you bad things would happen! Go back and look because I did! No, what I did was really mean there, but I swear to god there is an underlying purpose to it. I swear on the eternal bonds of friendship that I have a reason! And my reason involves Nicholas...and Brian...he he he...It’s not what you think! Just know I have a reason. Well, I guess it involves Christopher also but he is like...the main character so that is a duh. Lol.
BTW, I am working on chapter fifteen for you. Meaning it will be done in the next four minutes because each chapter you have read I have done in no longer then a half hour. : )

-Kali (does anyone know who this is?)

I think I am going to write another story to put up. You will all read it right? If I write it?