Life of Zan

I gathered the things I needed from my platform quickly; clothes, bandages and other such suplies before I lowered the bookcase blocking the hole back to my room at the temple and stepped through. The mare had left so I had time to close off the circle and get rid of it before I puts my things away and sat down t lay back against the wall, some of what she had said still buzzing in my head.. it\'s true that I never cried out of morning for her, only out of rage, but why should I need to? I made no sense. I also never really got to know any of my children before they died. Even the fact Ileal and Lilliana had disappeared without a trace didn\'t seem to had much impact on me anymore.

Maybe I was finally numb to the world? I knew instantly that wasn\'t the case as time past and it left me to brew, making me more and more angry with myself about what an emotionless ass I\'d become. Maybe I did need to unbottle it but with who? Things were touchy with Yuri right now, Fox had too many of his own troubles, Aliana had her own drama going, Io\'mah needed to sleep alot and relieved on me to support her, so once again i was a pillar holding others up without and foundation to stand on.

My thoughts would had gone on forever but for the fact I was hungry. I put on another mask and made my way to the kitchen in silence and prepared my sushi and was back in my room in an instant before anyone to see I was out. I ate in silence and then lets my little room and made my way to the training room and began working me forms and practicing my moves and combos on the practice dumbies.

I was glad for the lack of company, I really didn\'t want to deal with others right now, i just wanted to be along and not be bugged. so far I was getting my wish as I beat the dumbies into broken work, iron and stell, taking out each one with the same persision as the last. First taking down the metal outside with carefully place and preformed moves then ripples apart the insides with rapid strikes.

Once all the dumbies were broken I left, letting the magic of the room reassembled them as i went back to my room, only to be stopped before hand by the mare instructor from earlier. She looked me firmly in the eye before slamming a symbol onto my door. I knew what the symbol ment and to most it would have been welcome but not to me.

I had been marked for a journal into the world to find tranquility. I knew very well I could not find tranquility out in the world and I doubted I could find it at the temple either. The mare looked into my empty eyes and at my blank face, I could see here searching for some emotion but she was falling into panic as she could see none. It was clear she feared I was a murder machine with no soul left in my and that my heart was dieing. There had been a student of the order in the past like that, he was the most powerful of our order and the most hated.

I turned around and stood towards the exit, letting the aura of dragon fear spead around me, causing the newer trainees to be paralized and even some of the older masters step back, but even the most steady of them was sweating as I left, but for that damnable mare that didn\'t seem to even see my dragon fear was loose. She was a good trainer, but she was infuriatingly tranquil and yet so emotional! How could she still have emotions and not go insane from them with this vile world?

I knew there was n such thing as inocence in the world anymore as I walked to the end of the path and lept into the air and took fly, my presance making animals flee in terror as i flew high overhead like a red streak of death. I didn\'t care where it was I landed and I straightened the gi i had put on back at the platform and laughed hollowly. It was a black gi, with the usual inticrate leather straps all over the chest and a good woven mythril ab guard. The black silk pants fit nice and loose with a tight sash of silk as well around my was and my calf were wraped well with fine mythril cloth. Fist wraps were also os dyed black mythril cloth, almost as if i\'d choosen it to go out in. This was most definately a fighting outfit but one of a master for attaining mythril cloth was near impossible.

It was time to go out and find tranquility and to crack open the heads that held evil minds and open the chest of beings with dark hearts... though i was started to wonder... Was fighting evil finally getting me so infected with it\'s darkness that I was turning evil as well? And how exactly do you define being evil? Oh well, those questions could wait. I was stressed and needed and outlet... maybe desecting a bar bawler drunk were he sands would help?