One Journey Ends

Justin worked silently on the computer while his partner tried to recover his sanity in the other room. He'd had a feeling that Sven would be slower to adjust to the idea of an intimate relationship with him. Although they hadn't talked in depth about their respective pasts, Justin knew about the blonde man's late wife and son. He'd done a background check as soon as he'd learned that Sven was the mysterious Andre, and what he found saddened him deeply.

Sven had been a doctor nearing the end of his compulsory term in the Norwegian military when his wife Ragna and their year-old son Eirik were found murdered in their home, the victims of an apparent burglary. Understandably, Sven was given a discharge rather than forced to complete his last few weeks. He'd gone home and there was no formal report on what happened to him next. The murderers, however, were another story. The police had worked the case in their usual manner as far as Justin could find, but no leads were generated. Then, suddenly, a year after the crime was committed two known lower level organized crime figures were found beaten and nearly dead in a warehouse not far from Sven's home. Jewelry items found on them were those belonging to Sven's wife. They'd even kept photos of the crime scene, which were also found. The criminals dif thf their injuries not long after at the hospital.

Police suspected Sven and went to his home to question only to find he'd sold it two months before and had told relatives he was leaving the country to begin a new life. A check on his passport supported this account and the police, deciding they had more important cases than investigating the beating of two criminals, let the matter drop. Justin knew there was more to the tale, but he would allow Sven to tell it in his own time. The dark haired man knew what it was like to live with a troubled soul.

He wondered what the blonde man was thinking right now. He dn'tdn't force the issue on him. He knew Sven was very sensitive about it right now. Although Justin himself had found the emerging intimacy troubling at first, he'd decided the gender really didn't matter. He'd never been in love with anyone before, having learned early on that women were a liability in his work. Oh, he'd had plenty of relationships, but most ended badly. The worst one he remembered ended with his lover turning him in to his adversary, almost costing his his life. He'd had the chance to repay her for the favor later, but found that she had already been turned into a drug addict by that same adversary. That was when he began believing strongly in karma.

So why couldn't his soul mate be a man? He discovered early on in their partnership that he trusted the Scandinavian man. He didn't even know why. Justin was extremely unwilling to trust anyone and Sven had not done anything major at that point to earn it. But there it was. He trusted his partner implicitly and he knew that the blonde man trusted him, too. Why else would he have allowed him to get so close earlier? Why would he agree to live with him and let him make the major decisions about the case and their living arrangements if he didn't trust Justin? And if he trusted Justin that much, it wouldn't be so much further for him to love him. And the darker man knew that could be the only outcome now. Because he knew he already loved Sven and he could no longer imagine his life without the blonde man in it.

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Sven sat mutely on the chair biting his nails. It was a nasty habit to have, he knew, and one he'd abandoned after childhood. But there were stressful times in his life where he felt he had to do it. What had happened earlier and why hadn't he seen it coming? He had been content to explore his feelings for Justin privately, never imagining the man would begin to care for him as time went on. Until last week when Justin revealed that he had become conscious of something happening between the two of them. That alone had Sven walking on eggshells, but the hug earlier had completely unnerved him. It felt so right to melt into the darker man's arms and be comforted. He was now suddenly aware of his heart's true desire and it bothered him. It wasn't what Justin thought it was, either. Sven had suspected his interest in Justin long ago and if he were truly homophobic the last thing he would ever have done was pursue the man.

It was Ragna. For the first time since her death he began feeling an attachment to someone else. Not just an attraction but a true bonding. He felt he was betraying her. His heart had never been touched by any of the women he'd been with since he'd buried her. In fact, he'd imagined each of them as his wife when he slept with them. But there was no imagining in Justin's case, not that Sven wanted to. He wanted Justin. And it frightened him. Since Ragna, there had been no intense feelings, no desire for closeness. Just an unending string of people who needed someone's help.

Sure he knew what Justin used to do for a living. He'd fully investigated him when he first began to follow him. He found out that Justin was hired by an eccentric millionaire to kidnap his daughter from her new husband. That was what he was doing on the train that day. What Justin didn't know was that Sven had been hired by the woman to protect her and her spouse, as her father had threatened her new husband's life if she didn't leave him. He had been fully prepared to thwart the darker man's mission. But before he could, Justin called the whole thing off. Sven had seen him watch the couple wistfully several times. He'd then overheard him call his client and quit the job, promising to expose him if he tried to take the girl in the future. This puzzled Sven so much, he became intrigued with the mystery. He stopped taking jobs just so he could follow Justin around and figure him out. He'd learned that the darker man stopped taking assignments that had him harming unsuspecting people, opting instead to begin working for those who needed help, just like Sven.

By then, Sven supposed, his interest had taken a more romantic turn. But he'd ignored it, not recognizing it for what it was. Now here he sat in confusion and guilt. He knew Justin was right, that this was inevitable. He just needed some time to get past his guilt. He looked into the computer room and watched Justin's profile as he punched up information on the computer, and was filled with an overwhelming sense of destiny. Yes, he knew where he was headed with the dark haired man.

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Tara stayed up for a while after Seka retired for the night. She paid a few more bills and straightened the den. Her eyes fell on a picture of her husband and she began to cry softly. He picked it up and held it to her heart as the tears grew into sobs. Although it felt better to have someone in the house with her, she still couldn't get pase hoe hollow sense growing within her. It wasn't just a case of loneliness. She felt completely alone. Oh, she knew Seka was here now and she could see Sven everyday if she liked. But that wasn't what the feeling was about. Her husband had taken her out of a world where she felt absolutely nothing for anyone, a sterile environment where she formed no attachments and had no illusions of happiness. He'd made her feel loved and needed, things she'd never experienced before. For a while, she dared to dream that her life would be complete with him and their baby.

Then all of that had changed. She cursed the night she'd allowed him to convince her that they should spend a night out on the town. Everything would have been fine if she'd insisted they stay home that night. Then they never would have been at that ATM and those thugs never would have attacked, and Ben wouldn't have been distracted when fighting them. He would never have suffered the head trauma and wouldn't have needed life support machines. And she would never have been at the hospital, and her baby would never have died. And she wouldn't have had to make the decision to turn off Ben's machines. So many things could have been avoided if they'd just stayed home.

But, if she'd never met her husband to begin with she would never have known what it was like to feel. Many would have told her that would have been the real tragedy. But Tara knew better. It would have been best had she never known what happiness felt like at all, so she could have avoided all of the pain she now lived in. She wished longingly for the days when she knew nothing but her two jobs and her night classes. Those things kept one focused on reality.

She moved her teary eyes back to the desk, on which lay the necklace she'd been wearing during the second attack, the one that her new tormenter left in an envelope on the doorstep. She walked to the desk and picked it up, fingering the heart carefully. It was the first gift Ben had given her when they were dating and she'd never taken it off until it was ripped off of her. She wondered when the attacker would make his next move. She hoped it would be after Seka left for her return trip to Japan, as she didn't want any more innocents caught in the crossfire of her existence.

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"Justin?" Sven called softly from his chair, still watching the other man. The object of his thoughts suddenly looked up from the computer screen with an unreadable gaze.

"Yes?"

"I do believe you are right."

"About what?"

Sven couldn't seem to find his voice at the moment, so he just shrugged. Justin watched him carefully making no move to leave his seat.

"About our evolving relationship?" he finally asked and Sven nodded.

"As I said before, my heart," he said causing the blonde man's heart to skip a beat, "I will give you time to come to terms with it."

"And I thank you for that," Sven sighed.

Justin nodded and gave him a small smile before turning back to his work.