Before You

CHAPTER ELEVEN


Roth woke slowly, unwilling to leave the rare peacefulness of the night’s sleep, while aware of the already wide awake man half under him. The scent of Adam’s body seemed to saturate his own. He ran his hand up the muscled length of his lover’s arm. Sleek black hair dusted the powerful forearm, while the upper arm remained smooth. Clearly, Adam didn’t do the metrosexual manscape grooming. He just came made that way.

Roth rolled off him a little, drawing back to look at the tattoo at the base of Adam’s deeply-cleft back. “Why fish?”

“Would you believe I got drunk in Tijuana and woke up inked?”

Roth’s hand followed the path his gaze had traveled. “Holy shit. Did you just make an attempt at humor?”

“A lame stab at avoiding intimacy.”

Roth chuckled, tracing the art with his fingertips. “Answer the damn question and I’ll make you breakfast.”

“I’m a Pisces, okay?”

“Yeah. Asking someone to change their date of birth’s a bit much even for a relentless bastard.”

Adam rolled out of bed. Roth made a grab, but the other man spun just beyond his reach. “I let you get those hands on me, I’ll be late.” He walked into the bath, closing the door.

Roth sat up on the bed’s edge. His hair remained drawn back from the night before. Between the two of them they had about two and a half feet of hair. His dark gold, almost brown and Adam’s that fairy tale jet black, like a prince. Tall, dark and handsome, with an equally dark past.

Adam emerged, only partially dressed. He’d brushed his mane and left it loose. The straight, inky tresses, almost elven-almond eyes and purely masculine body created a special package. Roth had a moment of considerable sexual greed. He took his turn, brushing his teeth, having a piss and dragging on clean briefs and jeans. He opened the door, half-expecting to find himself alone.

Adam stood mid-room, fully dressed, duffel at his feet. “I called a cab.”

Roth intended to respect this little pullback only because he had the holidays to spend with family and he knew Adam would refuse attendance. “Not the same person who came to whisk you off that first night?”

“No.” Adam’s gaze traveled down Roth’s body before returning to his face. “That was a guy I worked out with sometimes. He’d convinced me to hit that club.”

Roth bent, picked up his guest’s duffel. “Let me walk you to the door.” He kept his hand at the base of the other man’s back, and set the bag on the occasional table in the foyer. Then, he drew Adam into his arms, kissing him until he groaned and returned the embrace.

Drawing back as he heard the cab arrive, Roth said, “Think about me.”

Christmas Day with his sister’s twins, and many of the staff’s children arriving, proved lively. Scents of ham, turkey and baking bread filled the house by the time they assembled in the huge living room to open presents. Jason got him a weekly massage for the month of January. The funny gift remained unwrapped in a decorative bag. Knowing his beloved brother-in-law had a distinct, spunky streak, Roth looked into it before pulling out the heavy box. Choking on his own humor, and thinking about Jason’s comment concerning his requirements in a partner, Roth handed it to Ridge. He had the thing halfway out before obviously recalling the presence of young eyes. Ridge stuffed it back into the bag.

“There’s your perfect partner,” Jason whispered. “I paid extra for vinyl that’s supposed to smell like rose. And, the description said she had realistic soft brown hair.”

Ridge held his chest as he laughed. It gave Roth a stab of concern for his mending wounds. He grabbed the bag, smiling. “I appreciate your consideration of my guidelines for an ideal partner.” Leaning close to Jason, he whispered, “Believe me, the guy I met is giving me unending hell.”

Giving Roth one of his endearing/infuriating ‘I know better than you’ smiles, Ridge murmured, “Good. Like him already.”

Roth savored this time with his family. Despite the ‘Doctor Brother’ jibes, he knew they loved him. It had made the pain of Katherine’s loss non-lethal.

With that in mind, he considered what he prepared to do. For over a decade, he’d held onto her, loved her. For the first time, Roth saw a chance to truly honor her memory and reach for happiness.

Roth’s present to Ridge made Jason smile. And, as Ridge held up the Kevlar vest, Roth said, “You wear that when you run.”

The small wrapped present Roth handed to Jason represented a sort of Rubicon crossing. His dead wife, so long gone, felt closer than the moment she slipped away. After this, in true fashion, no return awaited. Jason opened the paper at the seams to reveal the bleached wood box.

Braxton gasped as he opened it, recognizing the content. A silver cross on a matching chain rested on white velvet. Lili began to quietly sob.

Roth gripped Jason’s trusted hands.

“Katherine,” Roth stated, “was raised Catholic. I wed her before she died to honor her beliefs. I know you grew up Methodist. She would understand what you’ve gone through.” His voice broke. Clearing his throat, he resumed. “Her family took everything of hers except that because the chaplain that wed us, hid it. I know I’m probably telling this all wrong. But, she would understand.” Roth’s heart broke all over again. “I kept that necklace when I had nothing else truly left of her. Jason, I’m asking you to take this, and her into your keeping. Because, I can only let her go if I know she’s safe.”

Jason picked up the necklace with shaking hands. “I accept. Please put it on me.”

Jasmine, one of his sister’s twins, piped curiously, “Maman, why is Papa Seth crying?”

Roth hung his head, knowing his father mourned the same soul he did.

Katherine, Roth thought, I know you’d want me to try finding happiness again.