A Carton of Cigarettes and a Bag of Double Bubble

My father always had been kind of a fuckin’ hunting buff, always going to these fuckin’ country clubs on the weekends with some of his friends. Now if you fuckin’ asked me there wasn’t much sporting about shooting a fuckin’ deer locked up in a cage, but what the hell you can’t have everything right?
Anyway he fuckin’ bought a real nice shotgun three years ago. I don’t know why but to me it looked more like a Benelli riot gun than a fuckin’ hunting shotgun. As I stepped through the door of my house, I listened for two or three fuckin’ minutes. Just to the quiet. Every now and then a fuckin’ siren sounded somewhere out in the jungle. That’s what it was, that whole fuckin’ city was a jungle that night, not just fuckin’ uptown. And I was ready to hunt.
I went to my parents room and pulled the shotgun down from the top of the closet. Oh, let me fuckin’ tell you the feeling of that cold silver in my hands was like touch the fuckin’ face of Christ, man. It was fuckin’ insane how good it felt. Then I got the box of shells down and sat down on the fuckin’ bed.
You know its a fuckin’ nice sound to hear the tak tak of the shells sliding into their place. It was fuckin’ hypnotisning that sound. I could almost hear fuckin’ words to the rythm.
Glory.
Amen.
Glory.
Amen.
Glory .
Amen.
I never have been very religious even though I talk to God alot, but I fuckin’ swear it was like I was on a mission from God that night. Maybe He was just as fuckin’ tired of the assholes running loose as I was, or maybe He just wanted to let off some steam, but whatever the fuck it was I’m sure to this fuckin’ day He was on my side. I don’t think I did one motherfuckin’ thing wrong that night.
I had a duffle bag in my room, just about the only thing I hadn’t burnt. I used to use it when we went on vacation in the summer, I had had a hidden compartment to smuggle booze or cigarettes. It was a long narrow place right inside the lining. I put the shotgun in there and put the fuckin’ shells in my vest. I made sure I had both of my fuckin’ books then I looked around the dark house one last time. I haven’t seen it since then.
I walked outside and looked at the burnt lump in the street. Nobody had fuckin’ cleaned it up yet. they didn’t fuckin’ care so why should I. Tonight was the fuckin’ night. Tonight was the night I fuckin’ struck back. I had been fuckin’ this city over and now I was gonna burn it down, man. Just keep on burning, like I told my reflection. I headed off into the blizzard.
All the shit that was in the goddam city was running in the streets. The streetlights that used to fuckin’ be my salvation, never fuckin’ looked stranger to me than that night. It was still relatively early Saturday night, and I knew that if they were anywhere it would be at the entrance of the park. They were drawn there like flies to fuckin’ garbage.
All the way there I felt like every fuckin’ person who passed me knew where I was going, but I wasn’t fuckin’ afraid. It was my turn to be the crusader, just like that motherfucker that arrested me. But I was going to get the real criminals. Not the motherfuckers they parade across the TV, but the sons of bitches that walk this fuckin’ town like they own it. One face appeared outta the snow only to fuckin’ fade back into it. New York was snowed in. I was there to fuckin’ thaw it out.
I was getting close to the park and I could already hear them. The fuckers were right inside, I could hear them talking laughing and fuckin’ have a great time. I stopped right outside pulling my shotgun from the duffle bag. I left the bag laying there, it was like the point of no fuckin’ return standing there. I made sure the gun was fuckin’ loaded right then I listened for two voices. I heard them.
Rising above all the others were the voices of John Keese and Ronald Burlik, sounding shit-faced like the motherfuckers they were. I held the gun limply at my side and stepped into the park looking for them. They weren’t far off, I could fuckin’ see the lights from their car. It was like a fuckin’ army of teenagers, John the king and the rest looking for fuckin’ scraps.
I was having fuckin’ second thoughts about them when I thought of those pictures. John didn’t know it, but those pictures decided his fate for him. The motherfucker.
I held onto that fuckin’ gun so hard I thought it would shatter as I steping into the headlights, there were about twenty people there, almost every fuckin’ one of ‘em from my school. So much more the fuckin’ better.
“John Keese and Ronald Burlik!” I screamed this tot he top of my fuckin’ lungs, man.
“Who the hel—Oh, shit. What the fuck do you want? Your ass kicked again?” That was John, he was fuckin’ wasted, I wanted the bastard to be sober so damn bad, but what the hell you can’t have everything, right man?
“Yeah. Why don’t you come over here and do it, you motherfucker.” The music hurt my head with the fuckin’ intensity it was playing. Goddam it hurt!
John and Ronald appeared outta the fuckin’ crowd followed by three others.
“You need help to beat me? A fuckin’ loony?” I was fuckin’ relying on their pride to send the fuckin’ lackeys back to the fold. It worked.
“You know, John, I want so bad to fuckin’ tear your throat out with my bare fuckin’ teeth I could scream, man. I wanna fuckin’ drink your blood, man. I gotta taste for fuckin’ blood tonight!” The snow was blood-red as it fell.
“Shut the hell up ya goddamned looney—,”
That’s when I fuckin’ pulled the shotgun into plain sight. You’ll never see a pair of paler motherfuckers than I saw that night.
“Now, get down on your hands and knees and don’t say a fuckin’ word.” Some of the crowd had started fuckin’ running, I didn’t care because enough stayed behind. I had them turn around on their fuckin’ knees to face the crowd, then I fuckin’ stood right behind them.
“Now, these two motherfuckers are what you all kiss up to? You girls let these fuckin’ bastards talk to you anyway you want? You guys kiss their asses and back them up? Look at ‘em now. Here’s your fuckin’ hero’s!”
“Oh, come on, man! You can’t just fuckin’ shoot us!” That was Ronald crying his goddam eyes out, in between begging for fuckin’ mercy. Sorry, Ron, I’m fuckin’ all out. John, though, was so fuckin’ sure I was bluffing he even tried to get up.
“This is bullshit. This faggot won’t kill us! He’s fuckin’ pussy—“ I busted him the back of the head with the fuckin’ butt of the shotgun. About then I heard sirens. Fuckin’ cops. I knew I had to wrap this up fuckin’ quick. I knelt right down behind John and whispered into his ear.
“This is for those girls. You remember? In the library?” he started to cry.
“I now pronounce these two guilty, and they are fuckin’ punished by death!” I yelled this so everybody could fuckin’ hear me. I didn’t give a damn anymore.
I killed John first, put the fuckin’ gun right to the back of his fuckin’ skull. I think I blew his whole goddam head off though I didn’t get a good look, the light was bad where I was standing. I felt such a goddamned rush I howled my lungs out. The tears streaked my face. The other guys musta saw it, though, because somebody fuckin’ puked and the girls started screaming and it was fuckin’ chaos. I didn’t wait, I put the fuckin’ gun to the back of Ron’s head, him still blubbering his goddamned eyes out begging for mercy. I listened to him for a fuckin’ minute, promising he would change. I fuckin’ almost let him live. Then I remembered Tina and the dream. I whispered into his ear to.
“You know Ron, I used to think I had a fuckin’ crush on you, man. Then I used to think I was gay too. Goodnight, you coulda been one of the good guys, man.” I backed up. He was still begging for mercy and crying his eyes out.
Like I said I was all out. I lowered the gun to the middle of his back and blew a fuckin’ hole straight through him.
I stood there for a minute before I realized the sirens were fuckin’ closer. I dropped the fuckin’ gun and ran off into the park, looking for that place where I fuckin’ met Tina. Oh those fuckin’ sirens were goddamned close, but I knew I had to find that place. The fuckin’ trees tore at my clothes , and just when I had given up hope I tripped over a fuckin’ root right into that clearing. The snow was coming down slower.
I stood there for a minute looking around then I half fuckin’ walked half stumbled over to that little pool. I sat down at the edge, the full moon glinting off the surface of the fuckin’ water. I swear to Jesus, man, it was fuckin’ beautiful. I thought about how a week ago I had stumbled onto this place, on a night almost just fuckin’ like this. It was fuckin’ lonely but kinda nice to sit there and hear the tramping of feet coming thought the park looking, searching for me. The snow had stopped. It was still dark, but I had a feeling the sun would fuckin’ rise.
I looked over near the fuckin’ clearing half expecting to see myself sitting there watching Tina. Tina, even though I’m a chivalrous bastard I like to fuckin’ think about her standing in that fuckin’ clearing looking so fuckin’ young and pretty and scared all at once waiting for me to come and rescue her. My princess. I know it’s fuckin’ stupid, but thats what I thought.
I lay back on the ground and fuckin’ waited for them to find me, as I popped my last piece of gum into my mouth and lit my last cigarette. I was fuckin’ done for the night. I had met my bloodlust, I licked the blood off my hands, and from around where it had splattered onto my face. It was sweet as fuckin’ honey, man. You know it’s goddamn peculiar, I don’t even remember when the cops came and got me.