Imaginary Friend

AN: MORE MORE MORE!



Everything was dark and silent, and I knew I was back in that place I was at before I came back to Jacob. Then, even as I thought that, something grew bright on the other end of my vision. I turned towards it, expecting nothing to be there, but there was something in that spot.

I was pulled towards it, against my will, and then I found myself in Jacob's room. His bedroom. And he was standing there.

Alone. In the darkness of the night shining through his window, he was standing so beautifully.

At the sight of him, my heart beat happily, and I walked to him, a smile on my face. “Jacob.”

But, he didn't respond.

“Jacob?”

He didn't even look to me.

Crossing in front of him, I showed him my smile, trying to make him smile back at me.

But, he still didn't look at me.

His eyes didn't even find me.

Oh no.

I was invisible again.

“Jacob?”

But I was talking. How was I talking if I'd returned to my previous form? I'd only ever spoken to Jacob and he'd heard me when I had.

But he didn't hear me now?

My hands, down at my sides, weren't visible. I brought them up to see, and I felt them move, but I couldn't see them.

I couldn't see my own hands?

I had been able to see me before. I had been able to see myself, in a different way. Not normal skin, but a form that had been my own.

Now I had nothing.

It was getting worse and worse.

Jacob was smiling then, and I was happy because I thought him to be seeing me, but instead, a boy walked into the room. A foreign man I didn't know. Not anyone I'd seen him talking to before.

I didn't understand it. Who was that? He looked like the boy brought home that night I'd become Jacob's lover. The one I'd thrown out.

Thinking about that made me feel good inside.

But, this one didn't quite look the same. His face was odd. Blurred. Or something.

They were talking, their mouths moving, but I couldn't hear them. I couldn't hear anything, just a ringing in my ears.

Jacob wove his arms around that strange boys neck, pulling him closer and I gasped, watching them meet in a kiss.

Why was he doing that?!

They fell to the bed, their clothing suddenly gone, which didn't make sense, because a moment before, they'd been both fully clothed.

And now they were kissing again, touching and petting and those hands, those hands of Jacob's, touching someone else!

My Jacob touching someone else!

How could he?!

Why would he?!

I didn't understand, and rushed to their sides, reaching out for Jacob's shoulder and intending to pull him off.

My hand went right through his skin. Like I were nothing but a shadow. Worse than a shadow. Were I somehow not connected to Jacob anymore? Somehow not his, but belonging to another man?

I wasn't Jacob's anymore?

I wasn't Jacob's anymore.

“No!” I cried, suddenly sitting in Jacob's bed for some reason, and feeling my chest reverberating with the hard thuds of my heart. I felt out of breath and my ears pounded, making me feel slightly dizzy.

Why was it bright now? Why, as I turned to look towards the window and squinted, was the sun out? It had been night just moments before. When I had been laying in bed, in Jacob's arms and with my head on his chest, feeling odd rasping scratching on my skin from his blankets and the heat of his body pressed to mine.

Then, when I'd suddenly been in that dark place and in Jacob's room where he couldn't hear me again and where he couldn't see me and where I couldn't touch him ever again.

But, now I was in bed again? And under the covers? I could see myself, looking down, I saw my hands and I raised one, wiggling my fingers and examining them. They moved as I made them move, so they were indeed mine.

What had just happened? How do I go from night, then not in Jacob's bed, then back to Jacob's bed and it's day? It had only been a few minutes since I'd laid down.

“Abel, answer me! Why did you shout?!”

Huh? I turned to see Jacob looking at me.

Looking at me!

Jacob was next to me, staring at me in concern, looking all rumpled like he did in the morning.

And sitting there with his hand raised and fingers poised above my arm like he wanted to grab me but felt hesitant. Abruptly, I bumped my arm up and made my elbow slam into his palm. His face registered surprise, but that's not what I focused on.

I felt him! He was touching me! I was touching him!

Oh dear sweet merciful love, I was touching him.

“Jacob...” I choked, feeling my eyes burn again with that damned happiness he'd told me caused tears. I knew happy, but happy never made me ache inside with such severity. Like, I had this sudden overwhelming wave of something in me, bleeding out my eyes. It wasn't bad, but it was too much. “Why did you ignore me? Why couldn't I...” Wetness blurred my vision and I blinked, clearing them, but making that water fall to my cheeks. “Why...were you so cruel to me?”

Jacob blinked, looking confused and apologetic. “What do you mean? What did I do?”

“You were kissing that other boy and you wouldn't look at me and I couldn't touch you. I thought I was invisible but I couldn't touch you.” I frowned. “Why would you kiss that other boy?”

Jacob looked clueless, and he scratched at his hair, messing it up more. “I don't know what you mean? When was I kissing some guy?”

“Just now. A minute ago, you were kissing a man who I didn't know.” He was avoiding my question. “Why did you kiss him? You're not supposed to kiss anybody but me.”

“I wasn't kissing anybody!” He insisted, holding up his hands. “A minute ago, you were sleeping, so...Oh.” He smiled. “You were having a dream. A bad dream.”

“A...dream?” I know what dreams are. But...I never really understood them. How people can...do things while they're just laying there not moving. When Jacob was a kid though, I remember he'd had a dream and he's woken up crying and run into his parent's bedroom, where his mother had comforted him and told him how it hadn't been real and that it'd just been a dream.

So, I knew it wasn't real right away, but...It had happened while I was sleeping? I don't remember being asleep. “I don't think I was asleep.”

Jacob lifted one eyebrow. “Why not?”

“I don't remember it. I was laying here, and it's only been a little bit since we laid down together.”

He was making that face again, where he was trying not to laugh, but I didn't see why he would laugh. What was funny?

“You wouldn't 'remember' sleeping. Sleep is like...where your body shuts down to recharge and you're unconscious so you wouldn't remember. You're not aware during it. Trust me,” He grinned. “You were asleep. And I was sleeping right next you until you woke me up.”

“Oh no, I'm-” Wait, his voice was odd. Slightly...accented, and he had a small grin. Wasn't this teasing? Like before. “You're teasing again. Being playful.”

A look of shock crossed his features. “Yeah, that's good. Good that you...remembered.”

I got a big smile and a quick kiss to my mouth. For remembering? I didn't care, cause I got a kiss.

Jacob stretched and yawned, his body lengthening out and I watched, because I liked to watch him. With a scratch to his neck, he sat up, smiling back at me. “I'll be right back.” He murmured softly, caressing my cheek with one hand, then standing and walking towards the bathroom.

I sat there, waiting to be pulled along.

But he just kept walking.

Across the room.

Through the door.

Then the door shut.

And I still sat on the bed. Oh no.

“Jacob!”

How was he there?! There and not here?! Where I was here, and he wasn't with me, and I wasn't in the void and I was suddenly alone, alone, all alone, not connected, not tethered! He could get away, away from me and I wouldn't be pulled, I'd have to follow, actively follow his every step and follow him or else he'll get away and I won't be there anymore!

I twitched and scrambled towards the end of the bed, ignoring the acute twinges of sensation shooting up every spot of me that touched the bed so harshly.

If he wasn't there and I was here and then nothing was keeping me with him, what if we were separated, or he wanted to be away from me, away and I couldn't follow and then I would never see him again and I'd be nothing and alone and he wouldn't be there! How could he not be there?! He'd always been there and I'd always been there with him and now, just like that, I wouldn't be there!

My foot caught on the edge of the bed, tangled in that cursed sheet, and I thudded down to the floor, grunting and flopping to my side as everything went white.

Jacob was there, at my side abruptly, and everything slowed down as I allowed myself to relax. That throbbing whiteness, different from the Before whiteness, made my vision fuzzy and all along my side and up my arm, where I'd hit the floor, there was a different pulse. Something...sharp. And growing sharper by the second. But thank goodness. He'd come back.

He'd come back to me.

“Jesus, what happened, Abel? Are you okay? Why did you scream?”

I had screamed? Oh, I had. His name when he left the room.

He had left the room and I hadn't been there.

What a horrible thing that had been.

“Don't do that again.” I begged, clutching at his arm with my hands, digging in and not caring that it made my fingertips feel sharp too. I had to ignore that, because he had to know that it wasn't okay to leave me.

But then he winced, and I realized I was causing him pain. I let go, making my fingers softer. “Don't.”

His face was all tight, eyes wide, brow furrowed, and his mouth was open and his breathing was quick. I had scared him. I knew that look.

“Abel, seriously. Are. You. Okay?”

That urgent look in his eye made me answer easily, just to ease that expression. “I am okay.” But I didn't really know. How do I know if I'm okay? What wouldn't be okay in the first place?

“That was a pretty nasty fall. I leave the room for one second and you're already falling off of things.” His laugh was more nervous than anything else.

“Don't do it again.” He wasn't listening.

Instead of answering, he helped me up off the floor, holding me in those strong arms and making me sit on the bed. I don't know what was going on, but the part of me that had hit the floor felt weird. That sharpness was rapidly growing unbearable. From white nothing to red something. My eyes began watering again. But I definitely wasn't happy.

Stubbornly wiping at the tears, I grunted. “I'm not happy, why are these here?”

With a sigh and a half-relieved smile, Jacob looked at me. “That's cause you hurt yourself.”

“I hurt?”

Jacob sighed again, but this time it was short. “Yes, you hurt! God, I don't even think you know how to tell me what hurts. How can I help you?” His voice was helpless sounding, and his face registered frustration.

I was doing that to him? Everything else faded as I focused on that.

“Jacob,” I murmured, raising the normal feeling arm to touch his cheek. “What's wrong?”

He clutched at my hand, his own covering it tightly as he turned to rub his lips against my palm and his worried eyes gazed away from my face. “I can't help you!” A whine in his throat. “You've got red marks all along your side and I can already see bruises forming, and I don't even know why you fell and I don't know if I should leave you alone again, and I feel like you don't even know that you hurt yourself, and what if something should happen and you get seriously hurt and you won't be able to tell me?”

His eyes were getting wet-looking. “Jacob, I don't want to make you cry.”

“No, it's...” A shaky breath. “It's not your fault. You're still learning how to...to feel. I just...You reacted so strongly to everything else, so why aren't you reacting to this?”

I didn't know. I was more concerned with him leaving the room again. Even that unpleasant...thing going on in my side didn't bother me. “You're more important so I'm ignoring it.”

He frowned at me. I didn't like that. “You shouldn't do that. I'm worried about you, okay? Tell me what hurts.”

I frowned back.

He got the message. “Pain is this sharp ache, it isn't good, and doesn't feel good, and it makes you want to curl over whatever is hurt to hide it away. At least, that's what it's like for me. It makes some people cry, and others just hiss through their teeth, but it isn't pleasant.”

Oh. That's pretty much what I was feeling. Pain, then. I pointed to my hip, where I'd landed. “Here. It feels like that here the most.”

Jacob reached out and put his fingers on the redness of my skin.

“Don't!” Without thinking, I slapped his hand away. Then, realizing what I'd done, my eyes grew wide. “I'm sorry!” Why had I done that? “I don't-!”

“It's alright.” Jacob smiled. “That was a normal reaction. I didn't mean to press so hard. But...that was pain. Hot and quick and sharp.”

“Yes. It's...that.” That was it. This was it. Pain. No, I didn't like it. But...it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it should have been. I didn't like it. But, I didn't feel overwhelmed. “It's not as bad as everyone makes it out to be.”

Jacob laughed again. “That's cause you only fell a foot to the floor and my rug is thick. Believe me, when it's worse, it's worse.” He sighed. “I'm going to some balm to rub into your muscles so they don't get too sore.”

Wait, that wasn't what I wanted. “I said don't go.” To keep him from leaving, I grabbed at his arm, holding him still. “You cannot leave this room.”

He looked back to ask, “Why? Are you really going to fall again?”

“No. I fell because I was scared and then I tripped. But you can't leave, because that is why I was scared.”

Turning back fully now, he gave me a worried glance. “What do you mean?”

“You can't leave me, because now I can't follow unless I follow all on my own, so unless I'm watching you to follow, you can't leave.”

All he did was blink at me. “Wait...What?”

“Before, I always followed you, because I was tethered to you. When you moved, I moved with you. But, now that I'm like this,” I gestured to myself. “Nothing is making me follow you.” Speaking about it was making me feel like my insides were twisting, so I fought to finish quickly. “So you can't leave unless I'm with you!”

“But...Abel...” Jacob got this worried look in his eyes. “I can't be with you always. Not every second of every day.”

“Yes, you do!” I insisted, pulling him closer. “If you're not with me, I'll panic, I'll die, I'll be alone, and I can't be alone! I was scared!” Fear, I knew fear. I had felt it when I'd been pulled from Jacob before. This was the same but, as always, more intense.

Jacob seemed to be understanding what I was trying to tell him. But now he was frowning again.

“This might be a problem.”


TO BE CONTINUED


AN: Seriously guys, if you like this, you should check out my other stuff! It's a lot longer and I've got LOTS of Original boy characters, with lots of sex and smut. ^_^ And lovely plot too. Go check it out! On my Author Page.