The NEW Elemental Super Heroes!

“That is the last straw, we are keeping Earth away from Weird Al songs from this point forward.” Flame shook her head and sighed.

“Yeah… I agree.” Ice smiled. They had let Earth go sometime recently.

Earth, after having a full house of groceries… was wired. And using his internet connection… “Hey guys… did you know? Lawsuits filed by California inmates cost the taxpayers more than $25 million in 1994.”

Flame shook her head at their normal tea time, “I didn’t want to know that really Earth, but thanks.”

Earth was still wired… “When police arrived in Appleton, Wisconsin to remove a woman's children because of a complaint that she had given her 11-year-old daughter a "swirlie" (Holding her head in a flushing toilet). The woman reportedly said, "I haven't had a vacation in 13 years, go ahead and take them!"”

“Yes, yes she does earn mother of the year award, doesn’t she Earth?” Ice said, sipping her tea almost like nothing strange was going on.

“Hey… and and… A man went in to rob a bank. He demanded the clerk to give him all the money. They told him to go sit out in his car and they would bring him the bags of money. He agreed and went out to his car. In the meantime, the people in the bank called the police. When they got there the man was still sitting in his car waiting for the money and they arrested him.” Earth smiled, stiring up his tea some more.

“Future Darwin award winner of America.” Ice chuckled. Earth was oddly tame for this chapter.

Earth smiled, still shoveling sugar into his tea, “A man was arrested and charged with the robbery—of vending machines. The man posted bail, entirely in quarters.”

“Brilliant, I do think he did it.” Wind said, walking up behind the group.

Earth just wouldn’t shut up, “The Ritz cracker was introduced to markets in 1934, but gourmets had to wait until 1953 for the invention of cheese in a can.”

“Ah… gourmet food at its finest, isn’t it Earth…” Flame chuckled.

“Of course… oOoh, and another one! An apple, onion, and potato all have the same taste. The differences in flavor are caused by their smell. To prove this - pinch your nose and take a bite from each. They will all taste sweet.”

“We are going to have to try that with Earth sometime.” Wind chuckled, fixing his tea.

“Table salt is the only commodity that hasn’t risen dramatically in price in the last 150 years.” Earth beamed.

“Gas prices are annoyingly outrageous.” Ice sighed.

“Burger King® uses approximately 1/2 million pounds of bacon every month in its restaurants.” Earth giggled a bit.

“Remind us to eat at Burger King more often then.” Wind chuckled, drinking his tea.
“How does he know all these?” Flame sighed.

All shrugged, except for Earth… who kept going. “Most toilets flush in E flat.”

”Remind me to keep that…” Ice said sarcastically, “In mind…”

“Hey! The Bible has been translated into Klingon.” Earth giggled.

“Yeah, that’s important to us… Earth. None of us read the bible.” Oompa laughed, coming out of the bedroom with a chuckle. (Note: Nobody said a damn thing about Klingon.)
“A barnacle has the largest penis of any other animal in relation to its size.” Earth chuckled.

“Now, now, that’s not necessarily true…” Flame chuckled.

“You saying you have a large penis there Flame?” Oompa laughed.

“A leech has 32 brains.” Earth churped

“And you have none. Shut up.” Ice grumbled.

“A turtle can breathe through its butt.” Earth giggled, “But I bet it smells funny.”

“He’s slamming himself!” Flame giggled.

“In the U.S. there are approximately 65.8 million cats.” Earth continued.

‘And I am just one of them!’ Nox chuckled ‘Am I lucky or what?’

‘I’d prefer the ‘what’’ Physco chuckled, only to be chased by the kitty.

” Skunks can accurately spray their smelly fluid as far as ten feet.“ Earth smiled.

“Note to self, stand eleven feet away from all skunks…” Ice said, all agreed.

“A group of twelve or more cows is called a flink” Earth spoke up.

“So Earth has about a Flink of cattle in his deep freezer?” Wind asked.

“Giraffes can't cough.” Earth giggled, “But it takes them forever to sneeze…”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…..aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA………AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ………..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ……AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…. CHOOO!” Flame spoke, and everyone laughed at that.

“Flamingoes live remarkably long lives: up to 80 years.
“ Earth spoke again.

“Longer than Earth if he doesn’t stop with all this… useless info.” Ice growled “Who gave him those books?”

“Everyone did. Ice gave me the one on food, Flame the one on animals… Wind gave me the one on Criminals last Yule, remember?”

Flame shook her head, “Can we convince the authroess to continue onwards to the plot?”

“What?” Ice sipped her tea.

((Seriously, let me get a few things in line. I haven’t been feeling well at all. The next chapter will be at least a week. I KNOW Flame… I know. I just need a little time to think, we need plot, and there is something missing.

Oh, and the next chapter… maybe something about the whole Wind/Storm cuddle thing… Laters))