More than Anyone

It was just like a dream. And since it was all so unbelievable, Olivia began to seriously think that the mood between herself and Ben was nothing more than a figment of her imagination. Perhaps it was being in a foreign country or maybe it was just the magic that blew through the air of the moors- Highland magic as Madelyn had called it the night before. Whatever it was though, something was happening, or seemed to be happening between Olivia and Ben. But for the life of her, she didn’t know what. She had never thought that she would be feeling anything but animosity towards Ben Norfolk. But there she was walking next to him through the property of his home and listening as he taught her words in Gaelic and smiling as he waited patiently while she picked as much heather as her heart desired.



“They call this stuff the carpet of the Highlands,” Ben said as she kneeled down on the ground in a particularly thick patch.



“I love it,” Olivia gushed, inhaling the heavenly scent. “Come sit with me,” she smiled up at him, shielding her eyes from the sun with her hand so she could see him and not just his silhouette. He obliged and sat down next to her, leaning back on his elbows and stretching his legs out in front of him. He listened to the breeze and closed his eyes as it cooled his skin. “Could we see some ruins today?” She asked, daring a look at him. He looked so peaceful, so at home there. She wondered why he had left in the first place.



“Aye,” he said, opening his eyes to look directly at her. “If it would please you.”



She couldn’t help but smile. Not only was he being exceptionally sweet to her, but also he was doing so in a thick Scottish accent. Before she could stop herself, she reached out and ran her fingers over his shaved hair. He watched as she did it again then closed his eyes with a smile of pleasure as she began to scratch his scalp. But as quickly as she began, she realized what it was that she was doing and jerked her hand back, her cheeks flaming red with embarrassment and she nervously distracted herself with picking even more heather.



Ben stared at her, wishing that she hadn’t stopped. What the hell was going on? He was supposed to hate her. He was supposed to be infuriated just at the mere mention of her name. But sitting there with her, in the middle of a moor in Scotland as she picked heather and the breeze blew through her hair, for the first time in a long time, Ben felt absolutely content. Lying down on his back, he closed his eyes and let himself drift off into a light nap. He loved being back in Scotland. He regretted not having returned sooner. It wasn’t that he didn’t love living in Chicago because he did. He had made a fine life for himself there but Illinois was a far cry from Scotland and Scotland was in his blood. He dreamt about returning and living out the rest of his days amongst the heather and the highlands and the mist. It pleased him greatly and he was certain that in his slumber, he had a smile across his lips.



There was always something missing though in his life and he knew it. But in his dreams, his life, everything about his life, was complete. He wanted someone he could share Scotland with. Someone who loved the land as much as he did. They would get married and they would live in the Norfolk keep since Madelyn was there only three months of the year. If she wanted, he would build his wife a smaller house, a cottage perhaps on the edge of the forest. He would spend his days seeing to her every wish, giving her anything her heart desired and making sure that she was protected and provided for and that she knew that he loved her fiercely.



He would wake up early in the mornings, not like he did living in the city, and watch the sunrise. Olivia had been right. It was impossible to get sick of such a breathtaking view. Perhaps his wife would join him and holding her in his arms, resting his head against hers, he would make her smile and laugh and enjoy the beauty of both her and the sunrise. The castle his father had restored for his mother was always meant for a larger family than the one Patrick and Madelyn had had. He and his wife would have strong sons who would wrestle and fight constantly with one another and gentle daughters he could spoil as horribly as he did to their mother. The kitchen would be always bustling with kids running in and out with him and his wife attempting to feed their army. The bedchambers he imagined being strong enough to shelter his family and keep them safe as they slept. It was the life he always wanted for himself. A wife and children with him living in Scotland. He honestly couldn’t think of anything he wanted more.



And it was the reason that the fact that he was twenty-seven years old and hadn’t achieved his one goal yet was slightly depressing. When he had been in his early twenties, he had blamed his father for being who he was. If Patrick Norfolk didn’t own the chain of North Star hotels, Ben wouldn’t have such complex issues with trust and he could find a nice girl to settle down with. But he always knew that it wasn’t his father’s fault. Patrick had managed to meet a girl who loved him for him and not his money and they had been one of the happiest couples Ben had ever seen. He simply wanted what he grew up with.



He stirred as the breeze picked up and he caught the scent of strawberries and bananas from Olivia’s hair waft to his nose. He kept his eyes closed and listened to her, his chest tightening as he heard her hum a soft tune. He strained his ears to hear her. He was enjoying his time with her and she certainly didn’t seem to mind being around him. And for once, he knew that a girl was smiling at him because of who he was and not what he was supposed to be. She didn’t know the truth and that was eating him up inside. He didn’t even know why he had begun to lie to her in the first place. It wasn’t as if he was expecting to have a relationship with her. If anything, the most they would be was friends.



Olivia began to sing, her voice traveling to him in the wind and he remained perfectly still, not wanting to alert her that he had woken. He didn’t want her to stop.



“There may be other days as rich and rare.

There may be other springs as full and fair.

But they won’t be the same—they’ll come and go,

for this I know,

And all the clouds are holdin’ still,

if you’re not there,

I won’t go roamin’ through the heather on the hill,

the heather on the hill.”



He smiled and upon doing so, he could feel her eyes upon him. He dared a peek and she was in fact staring at him, her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. She looked actually quite adorable whilst embarrassed. He pushed himself up on his elbows, his eyes bright as he locked stares with her.



She cleared her throat, looking down at the head wreath in her lap her fingers were busy making, knotting the heather together. “How long have you been awake?” She asked, trying to sound casually though it would be obvious to a stranger that she was mortified.



“Enough to hear you singing,” he smiled and her blush managed to deepen. He sat up, tuning his body to face her. Her legs were tucked underneath her and he was grateful that he had brought a blanket for her to sit on. The grass was still a bit dewy. He looked down at the wreath in her lap. She finished it hastily and before she could do anything with it, Ben picked it up gently in his hands as if he was handling a priceless piece of glass. She watched him as he placed it on top of her head and then he smiled. “I’ve never seen someone enjoy heather more than you.”



She shrugged, adjusting the wreath ever so slightly so it was balanced perfectly on top of her waves. “I love everything about this. The smell, the color. It’s absolutely beautiful. I don’t know how I’ll bear to go back to Chicago and not have it surrounding me anymore.” She sighed dreamily with a smile.



Ben smiled. “I know a flower shop in the city that has heather. We could get you some.”



Her face fell. “I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I only am here right now because you have money,” she said so softly, he had to lean forward to even know that she had spoken. She looked at him. “That was never my intent. I didn’t even know that you had so much...” she trailed off and gestured around them. “I honestly didn’t. And now that I do, I’m making myself perfectly aware of how much you’re spending on me.”



He took her hand in between both of his. “I don’t need you to pay me back, Olivia. I’m doing this for you because being here is your dream.”



She shook her head slightly and he was shocked to see a fat tear roll down her cheek. “Why are my dreams so important to you?” She slowly pulled her hand from his and removed the wreath from her hair. “I don’t understand. You and I hate one another. And now, all of a sudden...” she sighed. “Maybe it’s being in another country or maybe it’s just that we’re lonely with both Jamie and Violet out of our lives. Whatever it is, I don’t understand why, suddenly, you’re willing to do so much for me.”



Her words made him ache and he reached out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear then brush the tear away with the pad of his thumb. “Because I know what it’s like to have a dream that seems impossible to achieve.” She looked doubtful but he didn’t care. “And I knew that I could actually help you get yours to come true so...”



“So you took it upon yourself to be my fairy godmother?” Olivia finished for him.



He sighed, exasperated. “Why are you being like this?” He demanded.



“Because I don’t like owing people,” she explained hastily. “And from what you said to me yesterday....”



“I feel awful about that,” Ben interrupted, admitting softly. “I was just tired from driving and that question about what my dad did... I don’t like talking about my family’s money.”



“I suppose it’s different when you actually have money,” she whispered, meeting his eyes with a soft sigh. “I didn’t know you had money, Ben. I honestly didn’t. And even now that I do, that doesn’t make it any more comfortable for me to spend it. I don’t want it.”



He stared at her. Hadn’t he been waiting for a girl to say that to him for his entire adult life? Hadn’t he dreamt that a girl would see his money and not care? Why did it have to be Olivia though? Why did she have to be the one to finally not care of his wealth? He didn’t want her. Perhaps they could be friends but other than that, Ben was certain that a romantic relationship with her was quite impossible. He didn’t love her. He tilted his head slightly and stared at her. She was beautiful. She wasn’t the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, her sister, though he begrudgingly admitted it, was at the top of the list but Olivia was indeed quite stunning. He almost hit himself in disgust. Was that what kind of guy he was? He didn’t care about beauty. He only cared about a woman he could love and who could love him in return. That most definitely was not Olivia though. She would sooner spit on him then love him. And he was quite certain that he couldn’t love her either. They would rather kill one another then be in love with one another.



He opened his mouth to speak but Olivia was certain she wanted to hear nothing he had to say at the moment. She could no longer trust herself around him. She found herself wanting to ask him questions, wanting to know everything there was to know about him. She wanted to know him. She wanted to know what each of his smiles meant and what made him laugh or what displeased him greatly. She wished to know what foods he absolutely salivated for and what he enjoyed most in the world. It scared her to think of how suddenly spending time with Ben Norfolk and being so close to him no longer annoyed her to no end. She was most honestly enjoying her time spent with him and was shamed to admit that she already had a small stone, slowly growing in size, as she increasingly grew worried about what would happen once they returned to Chicago. She feared that they would go back to the way things were with their constant fighting and general dislike for one another. She had been honest with him; more honest than she had ever been with another man in revealing that now that Violet was gone, how horribly lonely she always seemed to be. Olivia, normally, would reveal such a weakness. However, she had thought that surely Ben was experiencing the same thing with the loss of Jamie.



She sighed softly as she rose to her feet. Ben remained sitting and stared up at her. She had no desire to look at him though. If she let him meet her eyes, if only for a second, he would surely see so many emotions that revealed everything she was feeling at that moment around him. He confused her so. Though, at the same time, he excited her and aggravated her and angered her and made her question every little feeling she had towards him. She hadn’t even known she had any feeling towards him except hatred. “We should eat something before we go see the ruins.” She paused. “Can we still go?”



Ben never thought he would live to see the day Olivia Grange would ask his permission for something but he also never thought either that he would live to experience the feeling of wanting to do anything she wanted to do. He stood up. “I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”



“And we’ll drive there?” She asked shooting a weary look towards Dubhshìth as the horse grazed a few feet away, chewing contently on the grass.



Ben couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ll drive you in a car,” he promised with a firm nod of his head. “And don’t worry about food. We’ll get something along the way at some authentic Scottish restaurant. If you want,” he added. Olivia shook her head, looking down at the wreath of heather in her hands but looked up when he sighed heavily. “You need to eat.”



“And I’ve seen the size of your kitchen, Ben,” she said. “I’ll find something to eat there.”



He sighed again, giving her a hard stare. “You need to eat, Olivia. I don’t mind paying for you to eat something.” She shook her head stubbornly and he groaned. “Why are you like this? Why can’t you just let me take care of you?” The words shocked him into silence and she stared at him, also shocked at his words. He shook his head slightly as if shaking it clear. “I meant…”



“See?” Olivia asked softly. “You don’t want to take care of me. You speak without thinking and you already regret your words and your empty promise, a promise I have no intention of believing in.”



“I regret nothing. And believe what you want to believe of me and my so-called empty promises,” he snapped then spun around and stomped off to collect Dubhshìth. When he snatched the horse’s reins and turned again, Olivia was already making her way back to the house, hugging the blanket to her chest. The wreath of heather was lying in the grass, abandoned. He watched her walk away and couldn’t explain the sudden and unexpected pang he felt in his chest at her departure. What was her problem? Why was she so reluctant to let him do things for her? She had to eat, didn’t she? If she wanted to make sure that he understood, he did loud and clear. She wanted nothing to do with his money or his aid. Well, if that was the case, she could just find her own way back home. And yet, something was nagging him. He had been waiting for a girl not dependent on his money.



He quickly returned Dubhshìth to the stables, removing the saddle and bit then giving the horse a quick brush over, knowing that he was stalling to returning back to the house. He could not bear to be around Olivia at the moment. She did not trust him nor believe in him. There was no sense in him being in her presence. She confused him more than any other person he had ever known. She wanted nothing of him and yet, he felt the odd need to want to give her anything she wanted. Perhaps it was because she was like no one he knew in his life. Perhaps it was that she challenged him every step of the way they walked together. She frustrated him and angered him and confused him and made him feel an ache like he never had experienced before. It was probably just an ache to get her out of his life. He couldn’t wait until they returned to Chicago and he didn’t have to be stuck in such close proximities to her where he could smell that blasted shampoo of hers.



“Sir?”



Ben was shaken from his thoughts with the presence of Jessie standing timidly in the entryway to Dubhshìth’s stable. She was extending a letter towards him.



“This came in the post today while you were out with Ms. Grange,” she explained. “I fear that it’s from Ms. Phillips.”



Not wanting to seem too anxious, though he wanted to snatch the letter from her hand and rip it to shreds, Ben instead calmly set down the brush and wiped his hands on his jeans before taking the white envelope from Jessie. “Did anyone else see this?”



“No, sir,” Jessie said with a feverish shake of her head. “I snatched it up before Ensley could give Madame Norfolk the rest of the post.”



“Good work,” Ben said with an approving nod of his head. “Thank you, Jessie.”



“Sir, I know ‘tis none of my business, but what does that gerl want with you still?” She asked, moving anxiously from one foot to the other. “I thought you told her to stay away and she agreed...”



“I did, Jessie,” he interrupted, staring down at the handwriting on the front of the envelope. “I don’t know what she wants from me.”



“Ugh,” the young woman sighed in disgust. “This is just like that woman. She must have known that you had someone else in your life. It’s like a sixth sense of hers she has.”



Ben looked at her, confused, with a slight frown. “Someone else? Who?”



“Why Ms. Grange of course,” Jessie stated matter-of-factly.



He would have laughed if that letter hadn’t been in his hand. Instead, he just shook his head. “Ms. Grange and myself are nothing more than traveling companions. I want nothing from her and the thought of being anything more to her makes me feel sick.”



Jessie frowned. “Pardon me, sir, but... I suppose I was mistaken but I’m not the only one that seems to think of a relationship between you and Ms. Grange. Why just the way you look at her...” she trailed off when Ben shot her stern look. She curtsied hastily. “Forgive me, sir. I must go see to lunch preparations.” With that, she turned and scampered off.



Ben sighed, both at scaring Jessie and for the letter. Jillian Phillips had a lot of nerve. Last time they saw one another, Ben had threatened her that it better be the final time he even heard her voice. And now, he was holding a letter from her. This was something he did not need. What if Olivia had seen him receiving a love letter and questioned him about it? As if he hadn’t told her enough lies, he did not want to discuss this specific chapter in his life with her. Olivia didn’t need to know and he’d be damned if he ever spoke about it. Of course, on the other hand, it was none of Olivia’s business who wrote him letters.



Without opening it, he tore the letter in two then tossed it into the garbage can outside the stables. He didn’t need to read it. Anything the woman had to say, he didn’t want to know. He looked up towards the house to see Jessie scampering away only to stop and quickly curtsy when Olivia came out the back door. Olivia shook her head and Ben was imagining her telling Jessie that she needn’t be so formal when around her. He almost smiled. Olivia definitely wasn’t used to people curtsying or calling her miss.



Remaining outside the stables, he watched as she walked towards him. The wind blew her hair and skirt and she tugged the hem down so it wouldn’t go flying up and showing something that would mortify her. He frowned slightly. What had Jessie meant? He didn’t look at Olivia in any special way. He looked at her as he looked at anyone. At least, he didn’t think he did look at her in any way. And yet, he couldn’t deny the fact that something was happening between them that he never thought possible. It didn’t change the fact that her stubbornness could rub his nerves the wrong way but it did change his dislike for her. He was enjoying himself around her. He rubbed the back of his neck as she grew closer. Hopefully though, that would change when they got back to Chicago. At the moment, his life was frustrating enough. He didn’t need to go and do something stupid like fall in love with Olivia Grange.