The one thing that keeps me sane...

DISCLAIMER : IT'S REALLY GETTING A LITTLE ANNOYING NOW THAT I HAVE TO BE REDUNDANT WITH THIS BUT...MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!! NO STEALING!!! STEALING IS WRONG MISTERS!!!!...AND MISSES!!!

Ben’s heart about stopped in his chest hearing that voice say those words. He didn’t know how to reply or even if he was supposed to reply. “Trik I did this for him. I realize that he’s upset now but he’s gonna have a much better life without me in it.”

“Don’t feed me that shit Ben.” Trik snapped at him. “I just got a call from Carol telling me you and Laraine went on a walk and when he came back he was a mess. That doesn’t sound to good for your case Ben.”

He was going to be shot. He knew it. “Trik listen, I broke up with him. You don’t want him with someone like me do you? I mean, you know the things I have done and you know-”

“I know that being with you made my nephew happy.” Trik interrupted. “I also know that if you don’t find a way to fix this I’m gonna have to fix it for you and you aren’t gonna like the way I fix things Ben.”

“I’m not going to ruin his life by being with him!” Ben argued. “He needs someone better than me. Someone who can take care of him.”

Trik laughed. “He needs someone who can make him happy and who can love him Ben. You wanna know something? You can ask Carol this and she will vouch for me also. Ever since that boy’s father died he hasn’t been the same. I haven’t seen him as happy he has been in the last four months than he has been in the last few years. Now I didn’t know why that was to begin with but I knew that whatever it was I was happy it was there. Of course I wasn’t to happy that my nephew was with you but you make him happy, something that is pretty hard to do now days.”

Okay...this was not making Ben feel any better than he already did. “He’ll find someone else who can make him happy. Someone a lot better than I am.”

“That right there is your problem Ben.” Trik told him. “You don’t think shit of yourself and that keeps you from seeing the good that you are in people’s lives. You end up hurting more people by thinking they are better off without you when they aren’t.” Ben had nothing to say. “Fix it Ben, or I will.”

With that Trik hung up and Ben slid his phone back into his pocket. “Ben?” Michael asked. “What did he say Ben?”
“He’s gonna fucking kill me.” Ben muttered. “He told me to fix what I did or he’s gonna fix it.” he looked at Michael. “He told me to make Lain happy.”

Michael nodded. “Then make him happy Ben. That’s what you want. You want Lain to be happy. You’re the only one that can’t see that he is happy with you.”

“And I seem to be the only one that sees he is better off without me.” Ben hung his head. “I don’t care what everyone else thinks. I know what I am and I know what I need to do. That’s just how it is going to be.”

“Yeah...sure.” Michael nodded.

The next morning Ben woke up and popped his neck from the pain of sleeping in hospital chairs. Looking at his phone it had just turned six, which explained why Michael was still asleep, and Ben sat up to stretch. No doctors had come in to wake him so that had to mean that Jacoby was doing well. That was good. He just couldn’t wrap his mind around having a kid at home with him all the time. It was going to be a big change. Going from Laraine there all the time to Jacoby there instead.

Lain...

Shaking his head Ben looked out the window and tried to clear all his thoughts. Moving on was the best thing. Laraine and him...they couldn’t work. Kathy had been right about him...about Laraine. Laraine was better than the life that Ben lived. Ben knew he could find someone who would love him and be able to give him all the things he needed. Even if Laraine didn’t think that Ben knew it would happen.

The door opened and Ben turned to look at who was coming in. He stood, a little, shocked to see Laraine standing in the doorway. Clearly Laraine was a little shocked to see him up. Ben could have only guessed that Laraine had been hoping he would still be asleep.

“Hey.” Ben muttered and shoved his hands in his pockets. “What are you doing here?”

“Here.” Laraine held up something Ben had not noticed he was holding. Ben’s heart immediately wrenched seeing what it was. A month after they had met they had been out and Ben had let Laraine use his jacket. Laraine had loved the jacket so much that Ben had told him to borrow it. It had been the first step towards their relationship really. “It’s yours.”

Ben reached over and took the jacket from Laraine. “Lain...you didn’t have to give this back.”

Laraine didn’t say anything for a moment. “It’s yours. You should have it.”
He turned to leave but Ben quickly grabbed his arm and Laraine turned back to him. Ben stood there a moment before grabbing Laraine’s hand and sliding something into it. “And this is yours.”

For a moment Laraine just stared at Ben before looking down into his hand. Tears filled his eyes again, though they stayed there, seeing his father’s ring. “After everything we’ve been through...” Laraine muttered and looked up at Ben. “You leave me because you think I am weak enough to let someone else choose my life for me.” he slapped Ben strait across the face. “Goodbye Ben.”

Even more so than the slap hearing Laraine say that...say his name like that in a final goodbye...it tore Ben to pieces. The door slammed and he didn’t move for a moment. He heard Michael waking behind him and still did not move. He could clearly see that even if he had wanted Laraine back...he’d hurt Laraine to much for that ever to happen. It was best just to push all those memories out of his mind. Better for him just to forget.

“Is that-” Michael started.

“Yeah.” Ben interrupted him. “It is.”

A month passed. A whole entire month and with each passing day Laraine felt the realization hit him even harder. As much as he didn’t want to he still loved Ben. Still wanted to be with him. He’d never wanted to be with anyone as much as he wanted to be with Ben and yet he couldn’t. He hated it so much that he couldn’t.

“Lain?” he heard his mother ask as she entered his room at around eleven. A room he had barely left at all in four weeks. “Lain, honey, you need to go out. All your friends are deathly worried about you and your cousins are coming to spend three weeks with you. They’re going to be here in the morning.”

Laraine turned over to look at his mother. “I just can’t believe it...he’s really not going to call or anything...”

Carol sat on the bed next to her son and ran a hand comfortingly through his hair. “We all go through this honey. God knows I thought I was in love in high school and it was probably the hardest thing I ever had to go through when we broke up. However, you get over it and then you find the one person you want to be with for the rest of your life. Like I did your father.”

“I miss him.” Laraine muttered. “And I want to hate him so much but I can’t. He thinks so lowly of himself and there is nothing I can do to show him that I don’t care...that I want him for him...and nothing more. He thinks he can’t give me what I need but mom...” Laraine looked out the window. “I need him.”

“Hello darling!” Alex came into the room. “I’m early!” he stopped seeing Laraine. “What happened?”

Laraine sat up and looked at his mom. “Can Alex and I talk mom?”

She nodded and left the room. Alex sat on the bed with Laraine and unzipped his jacket. “Lain what happened? You look upset and like you haven’t slept in four days.”

“Try a month.” Laraine told him. “Benjamin broke up with me?”

“Bastard.” Alex immediately said. “Why’d he break up with you?”

That one made Laraine roll his eyes. “Cause he thinks I deserve better...someone that can give me what I want and make me happy. He can’t see that he is that person.”

Alex nodded a moment. “What brought this about? You two seemed perfectly happy the last time I saw you.”

“Kathy...she died.” Laraine realized then that Alex had no clue what he was talking about. “Kathy and him have a three-year-old son, Jacoby. Kathy and Jacoby got into a car accident and Kathy died. That means that Jacoby has to live with Benjamin now. He thinks that he’ll be keeping me from my future if we stay together. Keeping me from all the things I want to do.”

A laugh broke from Alex. “Does he not know you? Lain I know you can be a tad shy every now and then but you are not afraid to go after what you want.” he tapped Laraine’s chin up softly. “Did you two have sex?”

Laraine shook his head. “No. We didn’t. We talked about it...and did other things...but we never had sex.”

“Well that’s to bad.” Alex told him. “When you break up with someone it’s always fun to immediately make fun of how they have sex.”

“Alex why do you know that?” Laraine asked him.

Alex just smirked. “There are things even we don’t talk about Lainy.”

They laughed for a moment before Laraine got quiet again. “I miss him.”

The door opened and Ryan was standing there. “Lain! I brought someone over for you to say hello too!” Ryan stepped into the room and his cousin walked in. Laraine had met Zak before. Back when him and Ryan had first met. “He showed up today and we’ve been hanging out looking for something to do.”

“Hey there Zak.” Laraine smiled softly. “Oh, Alex, this is Ryan and Zak. You two this is my cousin Alex.”

Alex smiled at them both. “Nice to meet you.”

“You as well.” Zak told him.

“Anyway,” Ryan chimed in. “We’re headed down to the mall. You two want to come with us?”

Laraine looked over at Alex. “Want to go Alex?”

Alex shrugged. “Sounds fun to me.”

“We’ll meet you downstairs Ryan.” Laraine told him. Ryan and Zak left the room and Laraine got up. He looked back at Alex who hadn’t moved. “Alex are you coming?”

Nodding the other guy stood. “Zak...he’s-”

“Bi.” Laraine answered. “You like?”

“Very much.” Alex nodded and the two headed down.

They spent two hours at the mall. Finally Ryan had claimed he was hungry and Laraine had agreed. However, Alex had found a store that he really wanted to check out so he told them all that he would meet them in the food court and headed inside.

“I’ll stay with him.” Zak said seeing Laraine and Ryan hesitate about leaving. “You two go on ahead.” walking into the store Zak looked around before finding Alex looking through shirts. “Hey.” he walked over and Alex smiled at him. “I told them I would stay with you...they were feeling guilty about leaving you here alone.”

Alex laughed a little. “Well, thank you for easy their nerves.”

“Not just them.” Zak corrected as Alex walked around to the other side of the shirt rack. “I would have felt a little guilty also.”

“No need.” Alex told him. “I’m a big boy believe it or not. I can take care of myself.”

Zak laughed. “I don’t doubt that. I just don’t think it’s right to leave people alone.”

A genuine smile graced Alex’s lips. “Well, I don’t like to be alone so we make a good team.”

When they finally decided there was nothing else to do at the mall it was five o’clock. They headed out to Zak’s car and all got in. Ryan and Laraine taking the back seat so they could ‘discuss’ something in private. This left Alex to sit in the passenger seat next to Zak. Ryan immediately told Zak that he had to get dropped off first because Michael was going to have a fit if he were gone any later. Zak just laughed and agreed to take Ryan home first.

The moment they finally pulled up to Laraine’s house Laraine jumped out of the car saying he had to go tell his mom something. Alex just looked at his retreating cousin strangely and then turned to face Zak.

“Thank you.” Alex told him. “For the ride. It was nice and you two managed to get Lain out of the house...which is good cause I hear he hasn’t done that in a while.”

“No problem, I had a good time.” Zak replied. “Maybe we can all hang out again sometime.”

Alex nodded and unbuckled his seat belt. “That could be fun.”

Before Alex could get out of the car Zak pulled him over and gave him a light kiss. Alex stared at him a moment before they kissed again. Everything was going perfectly until Zak lifted his hand and set it on the side of Alex’s face. Alex immediately pulled away and turned his gaze from Zak.

“Is something wrong?” Zak asked him.

“No...well...yes...I...” Alex tried to get out. He looked over at Zak. “I have a girlfriend.”

Zak looked at him shocked before nodding his head. “Oh, well that’s to bad then.” he gave Alex a smile. “I’ll see you later.”

Alex nodded, completely bummed out. “Yeah...sure.”

The moment Alex got inside he ran up to Laraine’s room to find him and closed and locked the door. They sat on the bed and Alex told him what had happened. Laraine went from completely happy to him to completely pissed off at Alex’s girlfriend for being alive.

“I just...I like him...a lot.” Alex told Laraine. “Which is strange. I’ve thought a lot of guys are hot and I’ve kissed guys before but I’ve never thought of one as dating material. That just wasn’t how it worked for me. He’s different.”

“Dump the girl.” Laraine told him. “And go out with Zak. You clearly both like each other, unless he’s from some strange place where trying to make out with people in his car is a casual thing.”

Alex laughed. “You never know, he could be. Besides, I couldn’t do that. It’s fine. Being his friend is fine.”

Laraine nodded. “And how long do you think that will last?”

“At least another day or two.” Alex told him and they laughed.

Laraine’s phone went off and he answered it. “Hey Ryan...tomorrow?...yeah, sounds good...bye.”

“What?” Alex asked him.

Laraine smirked. “We’re going to the pool with them tomorrow.” he was way to happy with himself. “Locker rooms, changing, wet bodies.”

Alex glared at him. “I have a girlfriend.”

“Keep telling yourself that Alex. Maybe if you say it enough you will actually care.” Laraine joked.

“Yeah, keep laughing Laraine.” Alex hissed at him. “I will not cheat on my girlfriend. I do not do those things!”

“And kissing Zak in the car was what?” Laraine asked him.

Alex was caught on that one. “Not cheating on her! Zak kissed me. I was just to shocked to do anything about it! He kind of took me by surprise after all!”

Carol came into the room and smiled at the two. “I’m going to make spaghetti for dinner are you boys hungry?”

“Yes please!” Alex immediately chimed in.

“You have a black hole as a stomach don’t you?” Laraine asked him and then looked at his mom. “Sounds good mom. Yell at us when it is ready please?”

“Of course.” Carol nodded and left the room.

Falling back against the bed Alex sighed. “Maybe we shouldn’t go tomorrow. After all, there is only so much one human being can take Lain. Are you willing to put me through that torture just so you can have some sick kind of pleasure.”

For a moment Laraine seemed to ponder this. “Yep, I kind of am. Besides, I’d rather see you with Zak than some girl I don’t even know. Girls are nothing but trouble. They cry to much.”

“Are you using Anna as an example or something?”

“I know more girls than our cousin Alex.” Laraine glared at him, jokingly of course. “Believe it or not I’m not afraid of strait people, to spite popular belief.” That made Alex laugh. “I just think that you two would be cute together is all. I’ve never seen you with a guy, only heard about it, and Zak is really nice. That and he’d be able to protect you better that some stupid girl.” His phone began to go off again and he looked down at it. His eyes widened and he dropped the phone. “It’s Benjamin...”

For a moment they let it ring before Alex picked up the phone. “Lain’s phone, Alex speaking.”

~*~*~*~*~

TWO CHAPTERS...ONE NIGHT!!! I am proud of myself thought probably all hate me.
BTW, the whole Ben's mom knowing him and Lain are together...that was Laraine's thoughts on the matter since that was before he knew about all the shit in Ben's life...so yeah...I think I wrote that a little confusingly...and am way to lazy to change it...but whatever...
PEACE AND LOVE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!