Classmate

Chapter 11

The weather got colder, yet it was not what it could be in a Canadian winter. With it being only freezing, this was warm to me. In fact, I was fully enjoying the change while people around me seemed not to an extent.

I had just thrown myself into school, with being with Aki once in a while. We were more than friends, which was good, yet her words from our private pool party seemed to be coming to me a lot. I just heard ‘true love’ and wondered whether or not I had found it with any of the girls I had been with.

Was it Remi? Aki? Yumi? Or another that might grace my life in the future? I did not really know at this point, yet I knew somehow that there is a answer. Whether it was one of them, or another lady I have not met yet, I did not know. Do I need to know right now, I asked myself. Another question that I could not answer.

Complicated! That was the word for all of this stuff. It just seemed to linger in my mind where it would not go away.

One cold and clear day, I decided to go for a cup of coffee after a grueling day of studying for progress test that were coming up in the next few weeks. I just wanted to be alone for a while, to sort all of this out so I can actually concentrate on my studies. I left school quickly so as I could have some solitude all to my self.

The coffee shop was almost empty, for our last period was cancelled due to our teacher being ill, so other students were still back in school for awhile longer. I just took my usual spot and ordered a strong cup from their foreign menu.

Sitting silently in my favorite booth, I brooded over my steaming beverage without looking up for anything or any body. I just needed some solitude... in my antisocial mood.

I just sat, thinking. The pictures of all of the girls traveled through my mind like a fast forward slide show. Sure, I liked all of the girls, yet that ‘true love’ thing was confusing me in a big way.

For the longest time sat for a while in the shop, nursing my coffee so as to savor the alone time. Without figuring anything out, I left the shop to return to the rooming house. I just wanted to phone up my father, maybe he had a pearl of wisdom that might shed some light on my dilemma.

I phoned home, and I was answered only by the phone message that clicked on after four rings. My parents were still out of the country, on that movie shoot they were doing and there was no way I could even get a hold of them. Frustrated, I slammed down the receiver.. Then making sure no one saw me do that, and no one did. I just decided to go up stairs to my room, to try and get all of the thoughts to stop.

As I reached where the door to my room, I had a idea pop in to my head.. It was totally strange, and I did not know just where my brain had dug this tidbit of information for me, but it was good indeed.

My parent’s had a friend that was a Buddhist monk that lived in one of the temples across the city. I had met him a few years ago, but I was always in awe with his wisdom. I did not know why this popped in to my head, but I thought maybe seeing him and explaining this thing, could help me straighten all of this out- or just embarrass the hell out of me. I chose the first idea, as I made up my mind in a flash.

I smiled and turned on my heels without even entering my room. If I hurried, I could catch the subway train for the direct rout. Bounding down the stairs, taking three steps at a time, I raced to see if I could catch that train.

I found myself at the temple in no time. The elaborately decorative roof was gorgeous with the arcs and stuff that could be termed distinctly Japanese as I entered the compound. It oozed with stateliness, as it sat in the late afternoon sun The red veiled monks were sitting everywhere, talking and walking in a spookily silence.

A young man came up to me, not much older than I was and bowed low.
“ May I help you?” he asked.
“ I am looking for one called, Saisato, a monk in your order.” I said, trying to keep my voice from breaking the serene calmness of the temple. “ Would you know where I could find him?”
“ Ah, yes, please follow me.” He said with a bow and a friendly smile. “ I will take you right to him.”

The boy led me in to the temple, making sure that my shoes came off in the process. I made sure of the respect factor, and followed.

In a back room sat a group of monks, each person seemed to be representing a different generation. One of them looked up, and a smile came to his face. He hurried over, hand outstretched in greeting, that was followed by a shallow bow.
“ Hal Turberg, so nice to see you.” Said Saisato. “ I heard that you had came to Tokyo to go to school from your father. He is very proud of you.”
“ It has been a long time, Saisato.” I said.
“ Too long.” He said, his voice as friendly as I had remembered it “ Have you spoken to your parent’s lately?”
“ No... they are on a movie shoot in Africa.” I said. “ They will be busy for awhile, I think.”
“ Your parents work very hard.” He said, smiling broadly. He looked at me, as his eyes probed mine with wonderment.
“Yeah, they do.”
He keep searching my face for a few minutes more.
“ What brings you here today, my son?” He finally asked.
“ Guess I needed to talk, and I could not find my parents or anyone I could, for some direction in a private matter.” I said, sheepishly, now nervous about why I was here.
“ Direction?” He asked, puzzled. “ You are not in any trouble? Something wrong at school?”
“ No! No! Nothing like that. ” I said, making sure he heard each word. “ I just have a large question I need help with... it’s totally making me nuts.” I paused for a moment to collect the right words. “ It is of a personal nature, I have to admit.”
“ A little guidance is all you are needing?” He said, almost like I had already said my query.
“ Yes...” I said, not too surprised, for he has always been a direct sort of person... direct, but fair too. “ Although I would describe it as a lot of guidance is needed.”
“ Come to the back of our humble temple.” He suggested to me. “ We can go and sit in the bridge garden and talk.” He smiled, then added as he put a hand on my arm. “ I will listen.”

I just nodded. The diminutively built monk lead me out of the room quietly, to leave the other monks to their work.

In the garden, was a beautiful place. Flowers so full of color and majestic perfumes, bridges over small coy ponds set such a calming vibe. There were not too many people back there, so we just went on to one of the bridges and sat on a bench that was built in to it.

I held not very much back, as I told him everything, which was not my initial thought to do. I just layed it out their, like a cod ready to fillet. The girls and my feelings for each and every one of them, the talk that Aki and I had and my subsequent thought on the matter were there, but skillfully omitting the embarrassing parts for which he did not really have to know about.

All through my explanation, he just listened intently and quietly, soaking each and every word of mine in without one single word of hurrying or any judgement being made.

When I finished, it almost felt like I had talked for hours on end, but it felt good that I had gotten it off my mind. I looked at the older man, waiting quietly for what he was going to say about it all.

Saisato just sat, contemplating in a peaceful lull. He seemed to not even know I was there, and I wondered what he thought of me at that moment, yet I was fully ready for anything the man had to say about it all. He was wise, I knew, that alone would make me just sit and wait for whatever he had to say.

The man finally looked directly at me.
“ That is a dilemma, If I can ever say there was one.” Saisato said, smiling.
“ It is, isn’t it?” I chuckled.

He paused for a second, as he looked at me with those eyes that were so serine and calm which made me more at ease.
“ I can’t give you an answer that is a quick one, Hal.” Saisato said, putting his hand on my shoulder. “ I can say that you will resolve this problem in time. You heart knows the answer, even though your mind does not.” He paused for a moment. “ The heart is the guide that we all have to follow. One who becomes a monk, has his heart to decide that being a monk is what he wants, And it does control whom we love and whom we do not. It will not fail you, as long as you listen to it.”

I just sighed. I knew that answer he gave in some strange way, yet it still did not help me that much. I just looked at the man, waiting if he was going to interject something more that I can hang my hat on.
“ I can say but one other thing, that might help until your heart makes it clearer to you.” The monk said, his soft voice full of understanding.
“ What is that?” I asked, hanging on his words.
“ True love is mostly right under your nose. It will pop up in front of you and be clear that you knew that answer all along.” He giggled in his shy, yet profoundly very dignified way. “ The one that you will connect with through love may just be closer to you than you expect - just open yourself to your soul, and it will be. Time is your friend. Do not push it along.”

I thanked the man, as all what he said swirled around in me.
“ We can just keep this talk to ourselves... right?” I said, somewhat embarrassed still that i had to come just to hear logic.
“ That I will do.” he said, reassuring me. “ This is yours, and I will not breath a word of this. A man needs to say what he needs once in a while, and whom he speaks to must refrain from ever saying that. I am bound by that from Buddha too.”
“ Your not a closet Priest? Are you? “ I laughed.
“ Most certainly... but we do work in the same way on that level.” He said, laughing at my joke. “ I will keep it with me.”
“ Thank you.” I stated again.

He smiled at me, in his calming way.
“ No need to thank a priest, nor friend alike.”

He walked me back to the room where I had met up with him.
“ Just go and live, life will come to you.” He said. “ That is life, that blooms like the lotus flower in the rain.”
“ I will...” I said, moving out of the room, as the boy who had led me in, lead the way out too.

I just left, gathering my shoes on the way out. My mind still thinking on the wisdom that Saisato had layed on me. The trick was to figure it all out, time was my friend.

I just quickly raced to catch the next train back to get back to the house. I just might make supper with the others, if I can get a move on and they needed any help at all. Some might be back by now, I thought.

Even though I wanted a full answer that would point to the woman I was destined to be with, or at least told me if I had met the one I loved.. Would I meet this special someone somewhere down the line if that was not the case of knowing the person. I was satisfied about one thought I was having... life would just have one more passenger for it’s crazy ride... hell, it just might be fun.