Gravity of Love

11

We got back late morning and the house was busy with the servants and maids going along their duties as we walked in. They all gave me wide smiles like they were supposed to and I'm sure that a few were actually sincere, but their faces closed down with Mannix. Did Mannix have to go and piss off every single person he came in contact with; did his day not feel complete until he had someone wanting to murder him? Maybe he needed a hobby.

He walked ahead of me down the hallway and went straight to the study, sliding the oak doors back with a flourish, the doors sliding back with a loud bang.

"Jesus H. Christ! You scared the fuck outta me!" I heard Ren shout.

Mannix smirked and it made him seem so much younger and boyish. "That was the whole point, ass." I followed him in slowly, a feeling of dread starting to clutch at my heart. Will Mannix tell Ren what I did? What we did? Will Ren be mad? Will he expect it again from me? Question upon question ran through my head and I went to sit softly on the leather loveseat by the desk. Ren watched me come in, his eyes boring into me as I sat down and gave him a small smile. Shit, I was actually feeling guilty for enjoying last night. He narrowed his eyes at me and then looked at Mannix.

"He seems sort of quiet," Ren said softly, examining my face as if he could see into some deeper part of me. "What did you do to him?"

Mannix scoffed and fell on the small chair in the corner, sinking into the cushions. "Why does it always have to be something I've done?"

"Because I know you, Manny," Ren grumbled.

"We just had some fun," Mannix snapped.

Ren laughed. "Well, I also know your type of fun, that's why I'm asking."

"I never heard you complain," Mannix purred.

"Except that one time? No, you haven't."

Mannix grinned as if he was going back to a happy memory. "Yeah, I got you good that time didn't I?"

Ren rolled his eyes and shook his head. "That was over 6 years ago, Mannix, don't dwell on it. Besides," he turned fully to look at Mannix, "I took what you gave and then some so I had a right to complain."

Mannix grinned that boyish grin again. "You're such a pussy, Ren, you just didn't like my fun. But Gavey here likes my idea of fun, don't you Gavin?"

Ren's head sharply turned back to me and he leaned towards me, his leather chair creaking.

"Did you, Gavin?"

I licked my suddenly dry lips and tried to think of the best way to dance around that question. If I answered the wrong way I'd end up pissing off one or both.

"It was good," I said in the most neutral tone I could muster and avoided eye contact.

"Just good?" Ren muttered. "I think you're fooling yourself, Mannix, Gavin wouldn't enjoy sex with you."

I spared a glance at Mannix and saw him blink several times like he had something in his eye. He flashed a smile, but it was more like a bare of teeth.

"Why wouldn't he?" He asked carefully, his voice frighteningly light but it held an edge to it that I had yet to ever hear from Mannix. This Mannix was way too serious and it looked like his face was shutting down and becoming more emotionless by the minute.

Ren only chuckled and swung in his chair back in front of his computer and started typing something. Mannix got up from the chair and went to stand in front of Ren's desk, resting his hands on it and leaning forward.

"Answer me," Mannix said softly, his voice was barely a whisper and I was starting to get very, very nervous. Where was his teasing? His playful cursing? Where was Mannix? The look in his eyes was murderous and as he glared at the nonchalant Ren I wondered if I knew who Mannix was, did I ever? "I'm not as good as you?" He grumbled. "Huh? Is that it?"

Ren smiled but didn't turn away from the screen. He didn't even stop typing. If this got more heated my next move was to see how quickly I could slip out. I for one did not want to be around if they did get into an argument, especially an argument about me. How long would it take for them to stop being mad at each other and then turn on me? Ren finally laughed.

"You said it, Manny, I didn't. Besides, I didn't know you were so concerned with your sexual performance."

Mannix stood back from the desk, a smile on his face. "You think my performance even mattered last night? This morning, maybe, but not last night."

Shit. Why did Mannix have to do that? Just to get back at Ren? Ren always said he enjoyed sex with me, but would he still if he knew how I behaved? Would he push me away?

Ren looked up at Mannix. "What the hell are you talking about?" Ren held up a hand and shook his head. "No, no, you're just making excuses. He wouldn't like the games you play, and he sure as hell wouldn't enjoy your fun. Gavin wouldn't enjoy it because it's you, Mannix"

I expected Mannix to blow up just then, he seemed like he was close to it already. Instead he smiled, his face a bit softer this time. "Still not eye level yet, even now." He murmured quietly. I didn't know what he meant by that but I did hear the slight change of his voice. Why did Ren saying what he did bother Mannix? I looked at Ren and saw him smiling, sure that he'd won whatever power struggle they just had. I hated how Ren could do that. I hated how he always won, always pushed you down. I fucking hated that look.

"I enjoyed it." I blurted before I could stop it.

Ren froze and turned in his chair to look at me. He wasn't expecting that, was he? He frowned and his eyes narrowed and he shook his head slightly as if couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"What did you say?"

I took a deep breath. Why? Why couldn't I ever just keep my mouth shut? I stole a glance at Mannix and he was looking at me with a strange smile on his face. I got up from the loveseat and went to Mannix, sliding my hands down his waist and around to his back. I let my hands find the curve in his back and even through clothes he flinched. I felt like I was doing something extremely dirty but I found myself not caring, more so I was enjoying it. Mannix looked down at me, his face carefully in a neutral mask. I turned my head and dared a look at Ren; he was sitting at his desk his face set in anger and something else I couldn't place.

"You heard him, Renny," Mannix finally said. "He liked it." He put his hands to my hips and pulled me to him abruptly. "He liked it a lot, didn't you Gavin?"

I fell into the game easier than I would have liked. I tilted my head and looked away from Ren, letting my hair fall in a wavy curtain to the side of my face. I peered at him through my hair and a grin curved on my face. So Ren wanted to use Mannix to hurt me? That was fine, really it was. He just couldn't be that upset when I played his own fucking game.

"Yeah," I said softly and demurely, "I REALLY liked it."

Ren was silent as he watched us, or should I say me. His eyes were wide and his nostrils flared as if he was trying to keep himself from exploding. He'd beat me real bad for this, maybe enough to have the doc make a house call, but right now it was sooo worth it. His hands clenched into fists and he rose slowly and his eyes went to Mannix.

"Get out, Gavin," Ren sneered.

Mannix pulled me tighter. "Why does he have to leave?"

"GET OUT NOW!" Ren roared and I jumped away from Mannix, shaken and the first shivers of fear running up my back. Our eyes met and he was looking at me as if he was disgusted and that one look hurt more than I thought it would. "I'll deal with you later, Gavey-boy." He said the last mockingly, his voice dripping with venom and malice. I spared a last glance at Mannix who was, strangely, still smiling. I slowly walked out, looking over my shoulder slightly. Ren was making his way around the desk and was still watching me to make sure when I left. When I finally slid the doors back I heard Ren's voice boom through the thick doors.

"What the FUCK is up with you!"

I heard low mumbling and then a loud thud like someone fell to the floor. I had my hand on the knob to rush back in, but for what? Would I, could I do anything for Mannix even if I wanted to? The answer was no. I couldn't and wouldn't because despite the different side Mannix showed me, Mannix was still Mannix. Good sex or no good sex. I had been fooled once; I had no intention of a second time around.

Another thud, hushed voices and then laughter. Mannix's.

"That's what you think, you ass?! That's what you really think, isn't it?"

"You tell me, you fucked him, and you touched him! You fucking TELL ME!"

I couldn't take anymore of it and I quickly walked away, leaving their yelling voices behind.

*************************************************************

It seemed like hours passed before I heard the room door opened.

"I had looked everywhere, I didn't expect you to come up here."

"Here" was my first bedroom, the one where he first took me, first had me believe in him and trust him. I couldn't go in our room since it was right near the study, so I went down the hall and up the stairs to this room. I hadn't stepped in it for years, avoiding it and the memories that came along with it. It was strange to be lying on this bed again in the dim light, staring up to the ceiling. It mellowed me a bit, made me remember who I was and who I had become. Not in a bad way…not in a good way…. it just made you think.

"I didn't want to be close when you and Mannix were arguing, this was the room furthest away from there." Not really true, but close enough for him.

Ren let out a heavy sigh and came to sit next to me. "About that, Gavin…I'm…I'm sorry you had to see that – hear that."

I sat up and looked at him. "Is Mannix gone?" He nodded slowly and I sunk back into the bed and closed my eyes.

"Did you?"

I peered one eye open to look at him. "Did I what?"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about," he growled.

Yes, I did. Did I really enjoy it? Did I say that just to upset him, to get back at him for what he did to me? Actually, it was a little bit of both. I sat up and leaned forward until my chest was resting against his arm and I laid my chin on his shoulder.

"Was I not supposed to?" I ask instead, dancing around the question.

Ren brought the rest of his body on the bed, twisting so we were now facing each other. He gripped my arms and squeezed so hard it made me gasp. He was searching my face as if he could see through me. I instinctively shut down; I averted my eyes and bit at my bottom lip. I had become the perfect submissive that he always wanted me to be. I faded as he shook me. Faded as he yelled at me to answer him. Faded as he began to hit me over and over again.

"Did you!" He shouted and his fist came down on my face again, knocking me to the side and almost off the bed. I swallowed the blood in my mouth, fighting the urge to bring it back up as the warm copper stung at the back of my throat and flowed down. It took my two tries to find my voice.

"I enjoy what you want me to," I say quietly. He got off the bed and came around to my end. He reached to me and grabbed a fistful of my hair and began to pull me off the bed. I cried out and held his hands so he wouldn't rip it out as I tumbled from the bed and to the floor. "I only do what you tell me to," I moan.

"Can the act, Gavin. You were more than happy to show what a smart mouth you had earlier, don't stop on my account." He flung me away from him and I expected him to hit me again instead he fell to his knees and hugged me to him. His chest pressed against my back and I could feel his thudding heartbeat, matching my own wild beat. "Just tell me."

I swallowed hard and leaned my head back on him. "I don't want you to hate me."

Ren held onto me so tight it was almost a bear hug. "I can't hate you, Gavin. And trust me, I've tried."

I have too; I wanted to whisper back, but held my tongue. I've tried so fucking hard to hate you, Ren. Why can't I?

"I did," I said somberly.

Ren pushed me away so abruptly I fell forward and only my reflexes kept me from hitting the floor face first. I caught my fall by holding out my palms in front of me, and they stung from the sudden impact.

"Mannix.." he grumbled. "That fucking asshole."

Huh? I admitted it and he was mad at Mannix? Hey, not that I was complaining, but it still confused the hell out of me. I turned my head to look at him. He was getting up and walking away from me to the door. He was leaving? He went to the door, yanked it open and slammed it shut behind him. I tried to stand up, but my legs were still too wobbly to support me. I half-sat half-collapsed on the bed and I put my head in my hands and sat there for God knows how long. Why did my life always have to end this way? Why?

Suddenly, hating Ren didn't seem so hard anymore.