The Devil You Know

Boop - Have a chapter. I wrote a lady. That's new lol Lots of stuff happens in this chapter - hope it lives up to your expectations ~

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When I woke up, I thought I was alone, but when I rolled over I saw Luzizi sitting at the far end of the bed, legs crossed, unblinking and as unreadable as ever. His hair was a little mussed and he seemed tired, but other than that, he looked the same.



I sat up with a stretch, flexing a cramped wing and turned to face at him. I didn’t want to speak first, and I was grateful when Luzizi broke the silence. “I couldn’t sleep when you were touching me.” No shit, that kind of contact probably had him hard and desperate, and judging from the scent of him, he’d dealt with it.



I crawled over to him and sat, holding out a hand. He hesitated, then placed his hand in mind. I brought it to my face, his breath hitching at the contact. I let go with a curse. Nothing. All I wanted was to drain him, my own pleasure was nonexistent.



I fell back on the sheets with a sigh, eyes closed. If the only way to beat down my demon side was to turn myself into a nuclear reactor, it probably wasn’t going to happen again for a long time. My only other option would be to ask my mother, and that would be awkward, if only to explain the situation in great detail.



I opened my eyes and stared up at the ceiling. “I’m sorry.”



“Don’t apologize. You shared something with me I thought I’d never see.”



“You got what you wanted. Does that mean you’re done?” Chances are that would never happen again. What reason did he have to stay close to me when all it would bring him is misery?



He didn’t answer me, and my heart fell, taking his silence as confirmation. When I felt his hand sliding up my leg, I looked up in confusion. He nudged my legs apart, his eyes raking over my naked form with animal lust. “Do you think so little of me?” He moved between my legs, his hands squeezing my thighs.



I murmured, “You know I didn’t mean it like that.” I’d forgotten that I was naked, but Luzizi certainly hadn’t. I felt the need to feed now that I was awake, but I didn’t want to feed from Luzizi. He said he could take it, but his heart told me otherwise. I could feel his trepidation blanketing my senses. He wanted to touch me, but that kind of violation still made him sick inside.



I whispered Locke’s full name and he appeared by the bed, his eyes on Luzizi, too deep in his lust to care that he was there. He noted his presence, then returned to licking and tasting my stomach. Locke growled, “I don’t want anything to do with this.”



“Locke, please. I can’t feed from him.”



“You seemed okay with it a few hours ago.”



He turned to leave but I snapped a wing out, barring his escape. I spoke quickly. “I couldn’t have even if I’d wanted to. I wasn’t succubae when he fucked me, I don’t know how it happened, but whatever it was wore off.” He shot me a look of surprise and worry, and he didn’t leave. I continued, “Look at him. I can’t just leave him like this, but I need to feed.”



He snapped, “So what now? I’m just the fuck toy so you can string him along?”



I closed my eyes, tightening my fingers in Luzi’s hair in warning to keep him from humping me so hard. I said, “You know it wouldn’t be like that. All I need is contact. I’ll even let you lead.”



            He started to walk away, so I tried a different tactic. “I can feel your desire from here, Locke. You need this just as much as I do.”



            He turned back. “You’re lying.”



“You know I’m not. Fuck me.”



He looked at Luzizi. “What about him?” I had him, the familiar was mine.



I drew him in with a wave of lust and he started to walk back. I purred, “I’ll suck his dick, that’ll make it easier to focus on you.”



He stripped, falling into the bed to kiss me. He wanted the mind-numbing lust that came with my venom, he didn’t want to remember that this was for Luzi. I gave it to him, opening my mouth and tangling my tongue with his. I let him stroke and suck on my mouth.



Within seconds, he was completely mine, his body moving with my touch. I pulled away and gave Luzizi an order, glancing down and meeting lust darkened eyes. “Get on your knees and be still. Don’t touch yourself.”



He moved to his knees, his legs parted erotically while he struggled to keep his hands away from his aching cock. I sat up and crawled to his crotch, spreading my legs for Locke. He took the invitation, driving in to the hilt. I grunted, the movement jerking my face into Luzi’s dick. I growled and Locke froze, waiting for an order.



I looked back up at Luzi, taking his cock in my hand and stroking, then sliding my mouth down over his shaft. He groaned, the pleasure stripping away any reservations he might have held. I let him tighten his hand in my hair, fucking my throat. I brushed my tail over Locke’s lower stomach in invitation and he curled over me, pounding with abandon.



I focused on Locke’s soul, tearing it away from him and taking altogether too much. I couldn’t help it. The familiar thought he was in charge. He wasn’t. He needed a reminder.



Luzi came quickly and I swallowed, getting small tastes of his guilt, but the glaring humiliation from before wasn’t there. Once he’d emptied his cum into my stomach he pulled away, eyes not on me, but Locke. He glanced down at me with a sliver of betrayal.



I snapped out my arm, grabbing his hand and forcing my will down on him so he wouldn’t flee before I was done feeding. Locke wasn’t going to be conscious after this, that much was already clear, and I needed to talk to him.



Luzi slumped down on the bed, his eyes back on me and fogged with the calm I’d forced over him. I let go and focused my efforts back on Locke. I tightened around his erection, my arms folding under me so my chest was flat on the bed.



He came with a yelp and I tightened my tail on his middle, holding him close when I took him for all he was worth. He passed out on top of me and I sighed, collapsing with his weight to roll him off. I grimaced at the feeling of his cock slipping from my ass at an odd angle and pushed him to his back. I straddled his waist, distracted by Luzi’s voice, “He’s out. What’re you doing?” I guess I hadn’t pushed hard enough if he could still talk.



I glanced at him, then turned back to Locke. “I did that on purpose, but even still he deserves small reward for agreeing to stay.” I kissed him, searching for his feelings of shame and anxiety and anger. I took them and replaced them with calm.  I wasn’t sure if I’d always known how to do that, or if I was getting better at this, but he visibly relaxed in his sleep. I brushed Locke’s cheek and whispered, “Sweet dreams.”



I moved off him and Luzi repeated, “What did you do?”



“I took his negative feelings so he wouldn’t have nightmares.”



He argued, “They weren’t yours to take.”



I think Luzi forgot who’s turf he was on. I might look harmless, but I was in charge, not him. I lunged, flattened him to the bed with a hand on his chest. At that second he wasn’t a friend, a mate, or a subordinent, he was a male challenging me in my territory. I snarled, “He’s mine. I can take what I want from him.”



He watched me with wide eyes, still lacking the perfect clarity I was used to seeing. He swallowed and asked, “What did you do?”



That’s right, he wouldn’t completely remember, this was only his third time under my influence. I explained, “I forgot to watch myself and you got aroused to the point that I couldn’t fix it without feeding from you. So I got Locke to help. I fed from him, but pleasured you.”



I felt a thread of revulsion mixed in with a flurry of feelings. He snarled, “You had no right! You should have asked me.”



“Would you have preferred that I fed from you instead?”



“Yes!”



My lips brushed his. “Liar.”



He shuddered, his cock hardening without consulting him. I moved off him, taking away contact. He said, “What do you want me to say? That I’m afraid of you? I am, you know I am. I can’t help it.”



I looked at him. “That’s only natural, I can’t blame you for that, but I won’t feed from you unless you allow it. Saying yes isn’t permission. If I can feel you aren’t ready, I won’t do it. So don’t be so afraid.”



He glanced at Locke resting peacefully on the other side of the bed. “You use him. How can I know you won’t do the same for me.”



I looked at Luzi, and he really did look miserable. I said, “I promise I’ll try. You’re just going to have to trust me.” He emotions fluttered at that, somewhere between anger, disbelief, and hope. That was going to have to do.



I stood grabbing my pants and jerking them on. I said, “I’m going to go clean up. You should do the same.” I left, Luzi catching up with me in the baths. I left my pants on to bathe, I really was filthy, I might as well clean my clothes too. Luzi did the same, but probably for altogether different reasons. He kept his distance, but not in a fearful way, he was simply being cautious. After a few moments of silence he asked, “Will I end up like him if I let you feed from me?”



“Probably. Locke handles it better than others.”



“Why?”



I shrugged. “Make friends and ask him.”



“You were never curious?”



I leveled with him. “That’s not how my mind works, Luzi. The only thing I’m thinking is how can I feed, how can I lure you in, how much can I take. I don’t know anything about how it feels to be fed from. I just see the effects.”



My answer concerned him, but his emotions were too confusing to read, so I dropped it. He asked another question. “How do you know when to stop?”



“I didn’t used to, remember? I got better, it got easier.”



He looked away and I left him to his thoughts. I didn’t have to imagine what he was feeling and I knew he needed some space.



Once I was clean I left him alone, content to let my pants air dry, which was more difficult than it should have been, especially in a place with no wind.



I wandered a bit, trying to decide what I should do. I felt pretty good, shockingly. I’d been in so much pain before but ever since I’d woken up I felt great. Wired even. I’d expected to be in pain for a long time, but it was absent. It worried me.



I called Crowley’s name, hoping he’d hear me, and if he did that he would come. I paced, waiting for a few minutes before he showed. He looked pretty much the same as when I’d seen him last.



He said, “You look better.”



I frowned. “I know, but I don’t understand why.”



The reason for my concern wasn’t lost, but he chose to ignore it. He asked, “Despite how badly it went, did you learn anything?”



“I did. Sort of.” I asked, “You really only know of one way to kill them?”



He snorted softly. “That works? Yes. Hack at them until they dissipate; try to get them into the light.” He continued, “How did you kill it? Our prisoner didn’t elaborate.”



Of course she didn’t. I said, “I don’t think I did it right.”



“But what did you do?” I jerked my head at him when I felt it. It was fear. He was afraid of me?



I looked away, the memory fresher than I remembered. “I ate it. I gripped it from inside and I stole its life until there was nothing left. I don’t know how I did it.” I glanced back but didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It felt good, taking it. Then there was too much pain, too much power. I’ve never felt like that before. I thought I was going to die.”



He asked, “Would you ever be able to control it?”



“Like a weapon?” I shook my head. “I have no idea. My mother would know. Where is she?”



“I was going to take you to her.”



He hesitated and I asked, “What?”



He said, “You seem different.”



I closed my eyes and exhaled. “I feel different.” I looked at him and said, “I’m okay.” It was hard to tell if he cared about my wellbeing at all, but I could see his concerns. He was afraid I would turn against him, all of them. I didn’t see myself as a demon, a human, or a shadow person. I could just as easily be on my own side.



He accepted the answer and dropped a hand on my shoulder. Space twisted and revealed someplace achingly familiar. My breath caught for a second in surprise, my eyes darting to Crowley. He let go and said, “I thought it was fitting.” He was gone before I could argue. This was the room where I’d killed for the first time.



I nearly jumped when my mother’s voice sounded from behind me. I turned, her skin swirling with the same slow churn of darkness I’d come to recognize as protection. She said, /This place pains you. Why?/



“You can feel that?” She didn’t answer or move. “This is where I killed for the first time.”



/That unsettles you?/



“Change is always unsettling.” I changed the subject. “Speaking of, I have questions.”



/Ask./



“Why aren’t I in pain? When you drained me I felt like shit for a long time. I expected the same thing to happen.”



/You’re acclimating./



“What does that mean?”



/You’re getting used to the flow of energy. A normal shadow person can only accept so much energy before we can’t contain it and we’re destroyed. With a physical body your limit may be limitless. Something like you has never existed, so I don’t know./



I asked, “When I gave up the energy, what I saw…why do shadow people take energy from humans? Couldn’t they find it elsewhere?” The power I’d seen in the middle of the Earth. It was so painfully beautiful and terrifying, I didn’t ever want to see it again.



/It’s a different kind of energy. We can give, but since it’s not from a living form, we can’t take it. Bringing that kind of energy into us would poison us./



“What about plants?”



/That kind of energy isn’t suitable to use. It’s too slow and old. If you looked at it closely enough you would understand./



I paused. “I was stronger than the other shadow person, I could feel it the instant I touched him. Is that why I was able to take his energy?”



/It’s an internal battle, taking energy. But if you were able to drink him dry on your first try, he must have been weaker. As I said before, having a physical body enables you to do things others cannot. Your kind respond to metaphors, yes?/



“We do.”



/Imagine a game of tug of war. Except you’re fighting a child standing in the mud and you’re an adult standing on stone./



“That’s…vivid.”



/That’s what it’s like. While a considerable amount of effort goes into remaining solid, you don’t have that problem. Your foundation is solid, you don’t have to fight yourself./



“So how do I fight a lot of you at once?”



/Shadow people?/ She said it in a musing way, thinking as she spoke. /You’ll have to practice on me./



“You trust me to do that?”



/Not particularly, but what other choice is there?/



“When do we start?”



/Right now./



 <><><><>



3 months later



I didn’t like being in the human world. It was too loud, too crowded, and suddenly too different. Sitting at a café on a street corner was like walking in on a stranger’s thanksgiving dinner with their family. I didn’t belong here, and instinctively, I think humans recognized that.



They avoided eye contact and couldn’t seem to understand why. If I stared too long they would shiver and stare right back. I might look like them on the outside, but they knew something was wrong.



I jumped inside when Crowley spoke from behind me. “I never should have taught you to Jump.”



“Still afraid I’ll run.” I caught the waitress staring and she blanched and went back to business. “Where would I go?” He sat down across from me, dragging my cup of coffee across the table to inspect it before he decided to taste it. I think he hated it.



He said, “Then what are you doing here Telli? Clearly you hate it here.”



I toyed with an empty sugar packet and asked, “How do you do it?”



“Do what?” I looked up and met his eyes for the first time. He looked healthier than he had weeks ago, but that edge from when I’d first met him was there; Like a mad dog. He didn’t bother hiding it either.



“You’re in charge of,” I gestured at everything, “this.”



Crowley leaned back in his chair. “I’m not God, Telli. I exist to keep things running smoothly. What’s the saying? Life goes on? Quite usually it does. I’m a glorified security guard. We all are. But occasionally something bad springs up.”



“You make it sound easy.”



“Usually it is. These past hundred years have been…hard.”



I stiffened and looked up at him, browns drawn. He kept talking like that, and it worried me. I took my coffee back and downed it even though it was lukewarm and terrible.  I said, “You never intended to survive this war, did you?”



He wasn’t surprised by my assumption, he just sagged in his chair. “I thought for sure you’d kill me. I was hoping for it. I wasn’t lying before, Telli. You’re what this world needs now. I’m outdated, I’m done.”



I put down the cup hard. “Don’t talk like you’re already dead.”



He looked at me and all I saw was weariness. I clenched my jaw and changed the subject. “I have a plan, but I think you’re going to hate it.”



“What’s your plan?”



“You said it yourself. Demons aren’t enough to stop these things. So what if we ask for help?”



“From what?”



“You’ve spent so long protecting them, how’s about they start protecting themselves.”



He hissed, “The humans?”



“No, the squirrels.”



He said, “Telli. We can’t just expose ourselves.”



I giggled, “I expose myself every day.”



He said, “Be serious.”



I sighed. “I am serious. According to everything you’ve shown me and everything I’ve heard from my mother, they’re desperate and getting stronger. We’re going to lose.”



He argued, “We have you.”



I said, “I’m not a nuke. There’s only so much I can do.”



He stopped arguing when the waitress came by and left change for my coffee. I thanked her and Crowley watched her go. He asked, “You never answered me. Why do you come here?”



“I feel like I’m losing myself.” I snorted and laughed, “That sounds so stupid out loud. I just-I don’t want to forget what I’m fighting for.”



Crowley watched me with concern. He asked, “Is it a problem?”



“No.”



We sat in silence for a few minutes, my eyes on the life on the street and Crowley’s eyes on me. I asked something that had been bothering me for awhile. “The first time I killed, I remember that I tried to lure you, and you told me that didn’t work on you. Why?”



“Why did I tell you?”



I snorted, “No. Why can’t I influence you?”



He laughed, “Imagine the chaos if the king of hell could be manipulated by any Succubus with a hand down his pants.”



“Good point.”



He unbuttoned the top of his shirt and pulled it open. I commented, “What are you, superman?”



“Focus, Telli.” Through the flickers of his veil I could see his skin as its natural color, but underneath that, a pattern emerged in the shape of an exotic tattoo.



I swallowed, “What’s that?” Even as I asked, I think I knew.



“We call it Fate. When they say the Fate of the world rests in your hands, where do you think the saying came from? It’s the right to rule hell, and all the benefits and disadvantages that come with it. It’s also a bit prejudice. The last two demons to hold it were fate class, which is how it got its name. But when I die, it jumps to the next in line. You.” He pulled his shirt closed, doing the buttons up until he was decent.



“How could you possibly know it’ll be me?”



He said, “It’s a burden, to hold Fate. It passes on to the strongest, physically and otherwise, and right now…you’re stronger than me.”



“I’m not.”



“If you wanted to, you could kill me and take it.”



“I don’t want it.”



“Which is why you’ll have it.”



I growled and kicked the wrought iron table hard enough to draw more than a few nervous glances. “Fuck.”



He shifted under their gazes, but his eyes remained on me. He asked, “Are you sleeping?”



“What does that have to do with anything?”



“Answer the question.”



I folded my arms and leaned back in the chair. “No.”



He asked, “When was the last time you slept?”



I looked down and to the street. “I’m not sure.”



He asked, “Would Locke know?”



I muttered, “I doubt it.”



“You can’t keep going like this. You need to sleep.”



I pushed away from the table with a screech of metal on concrete and stood, drawing a couple of curious glances. He started down the street and Crowley hurried after me. I growled, “You don’t know what it’s like.”



He followed after me, people going out of their way to avoid us. “Why won’t you explain it to me then?”



“I’m just not tired. I’m exhausted, but I can’t sleep and I have nightmares when I do.”



“You can’t handle a nightmare?”



“Not when it’s possible I could hurt someone. I was sleepwalking, and I think I was using the shadows.”



 “You need to sleep.”



“I’m fine.”



“No, you’re not.” He grabbed my arm and I snarled and slammed him up against the wall. His expression didn’t change. “You’re not stable. Explain how this is okay.”



I loosened my grip on his shirt with a sigh and stepped back. I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was back in the deafening silence of hell. Crowley was less than a second after me. He asked, “Didn’t your mother notice? This can’t be right.”



I shook my head. “She doesn’t have a physical body, she doesn’t understand the concept of sleep.”



“So you told her and still she continued?”



I snapped, “It was my decision. It wasn’t her.” He hated her, and I couldn’t blame him, but she was helping. She’d helped. And I could take responsibility for my own choices.



He summoned Locke before I could stop him. He took one look at me and turned away with a glare. He stopped Locke with a hand on his shoulder, and as angry as he was with me, he couldn’t ignore the king of hell. He turned back reluctantly and Crowley gestured between us. “What is this?”



I grumbled, “He’s mad at me.”



“I can see that. Why?”



Locke said, “He was taking too much. So I told him to stop.”



He could read between the lines enough to know that wasn’t the whole truth, but he jumped to a more pressing topic. “When was the last time you fed?”



Locke answered for me before I could lie. “Nine days.”



“So you’re a starving insomniac?” He grabbed me by the back of the neck and dragged me after him. “We’re fixing this.”



Locke called, “Can I leave?”



“Go.”



I asked, “Do I get a say in this?”



“No.”



I asked, “Where are we going?”



He said, “I’m thinking.”



“Why are we walking?”



“To prove my point.” Before I could argue further, his next step landed us somewhere in Hell I’d never been before. And there were a lot of demons. I’d only ever been in the room with four at once, including myself. I took a step back.



Crowley said, “We’re only here because I can’t fix you, so I’m taking you to someone who can.”



It was a marketplace, from the look of it. It was as dark and windless as the rest of hell, the streets unnecessarily lit by old style iron lanterns. The things they were selling were of unknown value to me. Skulls, feathers, vials, food, and everyone in the marketplace was suddenly staring at me.



I took another step back, right into someone. I turned, finding myself staring into the eyes of a woman. In that one touch I felt surprise, recognition, and then overwhelming curiosity. I felt Crowley’s hand on my arm as he apologized for me. “He doesn’t get out much.”



He dragged me after him through the crowd, some of the eyes on him, but most were on me.  He was either used to it, or was ignoring them, but I was neither used to it, or good at ignoring people. I could feel a collective hum, an energy from the crowd that I’d never come across with humans. I’d never been in a crowd of demons, so this was all new information.



Their emotions swept through them in an energy that was based on those around them. It was like watching a school of fish move in perfect synchrony, except with feelings and energy.



Crowley stopped abruptly and asked, “Watch it.”



My eyes widened. “What?”  I followed his gaze to his hand on my arm and I stilled. There was that familiar shadow armor crawling up my arms in wisps. I hadn’t even noticed I was using it. I pushed it away with a thought and Crowley’s expression said everything I didn’t want to hear.



He turned and kept walking and I did my best to keep my head down and keep focused on Crowley’s emotions. He wasn’t stupid, he knew touching me made him an open book, but apparently that’s what he wanted. He was afraid, worried, tired and angry. Most of these feelings were all usual for him, but his worry made me worry as well.



He hadn’t walked far before he stopped at a wooden door. He knocked twice and said, “I know you’re here.” I stood almost shoulder to shoulder with him, my eyes flickering between the green, red and yellow pupils of the demons around us.



The door flew open and the woman on the other side caught me off guard. She looked almost like a normal human, brown hair, pale skin, except her eyes were an interesting shade of lilac. She snapped, “What do you want?”



Crowley pushed past her, dragging me with him. “Lye, what have I said about tone?”



She slammed her pitiful excuse for a door and stepped quick enough to get ahead of him. She said, “Excuse me.” She mocked, “Your majesty.”



He sighed and pushed me towards her and I ended up a short fall from her breasts. “Make him sleep.”



She snarled, “If you needed a sleep aid you should have gone to Terf, you shouldn’t have woken me up.”



“This is a little more complicated than that.” He nudged me forward. “Tell her what’s wrong.” I fidgeted, glancing back at him in a silent question of how much about myself I should divulge. He answered, “Tell her everything if you have to.”



Her eyes sharpened suddenly and she took a swift step forward, jerking my chin up with her forefinger and thumb. She looked into my eyes like she was searching for something. “He’s your son?”



“Yes.”



“You don’t have a son.” She cast him a glance of mistrust, then her eyes snapped back to mine. “Stop that.” I flinched. I wasn’t reading her emotions on purpose.



I swallowed, stepping back from her touch. “I can’t, not if you touch me.”



Her voice was hard. “You’re still doing it.”



I said, “I’m not listening. It’s not like I enjoy tuning in to everyone’s feelings. It’s nauseating.” That sensitivity hadn’t gone away, if anything, it had refined and turned into an afterthought. I wasn’t even sure if I could turn it off anymore.



She looked at Crowley. “What is he?”



“Ask him yourself. He knows better than I do at this point.”



She looked at me and I explained the best I could, from being an incubus to my weird feeding habits and on to my current problems. It took awhile. I rubbed my forehead, fighting a headache while she stared at me, deep in thought.



Crowley was silent the entire time, and I’d almost forgotten he was there.  She said, “You’re something new. I’m not sure what to do with you.”



“Thanks,” I said dryly.



“I can make you sleep, but if you really are sleepwalking you could be dangerous.” He eyes moved to Crowley. “I’d insist that you stay.”



“I was going to anyway.”



She nodded absently. “Wait here, I’ll be right back.”



            I waited a couple of minutes before I asked, “Where’s Luzi?”



            Crowley sighed and sat back in a chair in the corner. He rested his arm on the table and leaned on his arm. “Working.” He paused then added, “Was he part of the problem?”



“What?” Please stop asking questions.



“When he was around you, you were rapidly getting worse, and now that he’s not, it’s been gradual.”



I swallowed and looked away. “What are you implying?”



“I’m not implying anything, I’m stating a fact. What were you doing?” He didn’t sound accusatory, just tired.



I frowned and sat down on the ground against the wall with my arms resting on my knees. I said, “I found out that if I’m more shadow person than incubus, I can feel.”



His brow creased. “I don’t understand.”



“I could feel, Crowley. A kiss was a kiss. It wasn’t a means to an end.”



He let out a long slow breath, dragging his hand down his face. “You only stopped because you were forced to, didn’t you?” He didn’t wait for an answer, “Did Luzi know.”



I wrung my hands. “He did.”



His sharp exhale was all I needed to know he was furious. I said, “Don’t take it out on him. He didn’t know what it was doing to me.”



“You lied?”



I met his gaze evenly. “I do that.”



He raised his voice, “So what, you were just going to let it kill you?”



I said, “Why do you think I’ve been spending my free time with the humans?” Guilt, I was trying to make myself feel guilty.



He wanted to argue more, I know he did, but Lye came back. She had a piece of red clay pottery with a lattice of openings in the top. She set it down on the table and shooed Crowley away with a smack on his arm. “Get up.” She pointed at me. “You. Sit.”



We did what she asked, and when my eyes passed Crowley I didn’t miss the disappointment there. I ignored it and sat, looking at the piece of pottery. “What’s that?”



“It’ going to knock you out. It’s the strongest thing I have.” She opened the top and snapped her fingers, the leaves inside catching fire. A trickster? She closed it and pushed it towards me. “Breathe it all in.”



I leaned over it, inhaling the bittersweet smoke. My vision blurred almost instantly. I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled back instinctually. “Hey! All of it!” I leaned back, dizziness setting in before all I saw was black.



When I opened my eyes I was perched on Crowley’s chest, my hand pressed over his mouth and nose. I let go, leaning back with a sharp inhale. I froze when I felt the blade on my throat. Lye asked, “Are you in there?”



“What happened?”



She took the knife away from my throat and I moved off of Crowley. He was gasping for air as I stood. She didn’t answer, but looked to Crowley with some measure of shock. I understood that look. I’d overpowered him, and that wasn’t supposed to happen. Still, I didn’t feel fear from her, only curiosity.   



Crowley stood, still catching his breath. “You passed out, but a couple minutes later and you were on your feet again. I held you off for a few minutes, but-“



“I drained you didn’t I?” I hadn’t noticed because he was standing so close, but those feelings of fear and resolve, they were coming from inside, not outside.



            His look was enough. He’d known on some level that I was stronger, but feeling it was a different matter entirely. I’d felt mostly indifferent about all this before, but reality was catching up fast. I looked at Lye. “What do I do?”



            “I’m thinking!”  She closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them and asked, “You haven’t fed, but are you hungry?”



            “Starving.”



            “So what’s stopping you?”



            I asked, “Is it important?”



            “It might be.”



            “I’m focusing on energy, not soul.”



            She said, “So you’re more shadow person than Incubus. Why aren’t you feeding?”



            I said, “I was trying to feed to kill.”



            She said, “You can do that?”



            I looked at Crowley and he said, “That’s not normal, no.”



            I was more of a freak than I thought. Fantastic. She said, “If you fed, and if you pushed this shadow part of you down, we might be able to get you to sleep.”



            I asked, “What about if you tied me down?”



            She shared a look with Crowley and he said,  “You walked through a table. I don’t think that would work.” Through it? I phased when I was sleeping? That was complicated stuff, I might not have been asleep at all.



            I said, “I don’t know if you have this here, but up top they call this dissociative disorder.”



            Lye nodded slowly, “A personality split.” She said, “That would make sense, except we don’t know what caused this. We can’t fix it if we don’t know the cause.”



            I asked, “Did I talk?”



            Crowley shook his head. “No.” That didn’t feel right. But then, if I was more shadow person than demon I might have been talking the way they do, and demons couldn’t hear that. So they wouldn’t be able to just ask me.



            Crowley said, “Before this gets any more complicated, you need to feed.”



            “I can’t.”



            “You mean you won’t.” He glared at me and said, “Lye, you know anyone that deserves it?”



            She sat down and mused, “I think I do.”



            He asked, “Who?”



            “Make him feed and then bring him back here.” She fixed me with violet eyes. “Dovik. He’s a fear class. He’s taken to feeding from children. Don’t you think he deserves it?”



            I asked, “Are you lying to me?”



            She smiled, “Trickster. You tell me.”



            Crowley took hold of my shoulder and I flinched under the noise of the human world. “Shit, warn me.” She could have been lying, her emotions were so confusing, and Crowley couldn’t compel a demon to go against their nature.



            I looked around. It was night. A suburban neighborhood at the edge of the woods. I had no idea where on a map it would be, but it was quiet, peaceful.



            Crowley said, “Hunt, feed. Call me when you’re done.” I turned, but he was gone before I could face him. Technically I could just leave and ignore them both, but I was afraid. I didn’t want to do something I’d regret, and I was well on my way to getting there. If this was a step towards fixing it, so be it.



            I pushed the shadow energy away, and it was like suddenly losing the ability to see. I hadn’t realized how much I relied on it. I sucked in a breath in shock, my senses shifting to be more physical, more straight forward. I closed my eyes and let my senses out. I was starving, and while there was a lot of prey, none of it was good enough. Except one.



            I walked, there wasn’t a rush. He wasn’t going anywhere. I moved through the neighborhood, hopping a fence and landing in someone’s backyard. The dog growled, but one glance and it shut up and crawled under the porch. The yard was littered with dead leaves and was open to the woods, the ground sloping gradually up. There was a soft breeze and the tinkle of wind chimes from their back door.



            I could feel his presence in the woods ahead of me. He was close, close enough to hear me. I said, “I know you’re there.” If I drew him in with curiosity, he’d be easy prey.



            He dropped down from a tree into a crouch, his tail swishing in caution. “What do you want?” He was a dark grey, his eyes yellow with rows of shark-like teeth in his mouth.



            I grinned, “I was in the neighborhood and noticed I wasn’t alone.” He was close enough to see my eyes; he would be on guard now that he knew what I was. That just made it more fun.



            He said, “So what do you want?”



            “I heard you feed off children.”



            He stiffened and started to back away. “You were looking for me?”



I took a couple of steps closer and said, “I’m not here to judge.” So he wasn’t lying, that made this a bit smoother. “I was just curious what you tasted like.”



“Stay away from me.” He looked ready to run.



I asked, “Why?”



“You’re an incubus.”



“So?” I took another step close. I dropped my voice to a sensuous drawl, “You’ve obviously been alone awhile, with habits like yours. You must be dying for some attention.”



I heard his heart rate just about double in arousal. He was a little afraid, but he was more cautious than anything. I don’t even think he was afraid of me, he seemed afraid of judgment. That would come later. I said, “What’s there to lose? Afraid I’ll tell?”



He shifted and took a step towards me. I didn’t move, but I smiled. “Just a taste.”



He was only five feet away, and he was obviously curious. I walked up towards him and he didn’t move, his eyes watching me carefully. I slid a hand up his bare chest and he gasped , unprepared for the lust I hurled at him. They all thought they could fight it, but they couldn’t. He was mine.



I wrapped my arms around him and jumped, flapping my wings hard. I dragged him deeper into the woods then dropped him, falling on top of him. I kissed him roughly, taking his soul and slamming my will down on him. He tasted sour and bitter, like heat and fear. He jerked his hips up against mine and I pushed back into him with a snarl. I pulled back with a mouthful of blood, my tongue cut from his teeth.



I let him thrust up against me, my jaw locked over his throat. I took everything. I took it all until he had nothing left to give.



I pulled back in disgust, wiping the blood from my mouth and standing. I muttered, “You deserved it you sonuvabitch.”



I heard the crunch of leaves and my head snapped up. My eyes locked on a human. A teenage male, and he could see me for what I really was. And he didn’t seem very surprised. I hadn’t been aware of his presence until it was too late.



He spared a glance for the demon on the ground and swallowed. He asked, “Is that…is that him?”



“Who?”



He seemed startled when I spoke, but he hid it well. He said, “The demon that killed my neighbors kid?”



I looked down at him. “He killed a kid?” I growled deep in my throat then kicked him. Hard.



The kid squeaked, “Are you going to kill me?”



I looked over at him. “Why would I do that?”



I could feel his fear, but there was another emotion I couldn’t identify. He said, “Because you’re a demon.”



I laughed quietly and walked up to him. His eyes widened and he backpedalled and fell. “Hey,” I said, “You’ve got the wrong idea.” I offered him a hand up. I’d just fed, the temptation wasn’t there. He took it and I helped him up and said, “That demon was setting a bad example. We don’t exist to hurt you, we exist to protect you.”



“But-but you’re a demon!”



I put a finger to his lips and shh’d him. “Yes I am. And you’re human, you don’t see me judging you.” I jerked my head towards the road. “Go home.”



His brow furrowed, “Is this real?”



I tilted my head. “What did you say?”



“Am I crazy?” That was an odd question. It reminded me of myself. Hadn’t I thought the same thing when I’d seen Luzi for the first time?



I smiled. “No, you’re not crazy.”



He glanced past me to the body. “Won’t someone, y’know, find him?”



I looked back. “Demons turn to dust when they die. In a few minutes it’ll be like he never existed.” I turned back to him. “I need to go.”



He frowned, “Will I ever see you again?”



“Not if I don’t want you to.” This wasn’t the answer he wanted. I liked him. I stepped closer and said, “Listen, if I give you my full name, you can summon me, but only for an emergency. Life or death, kid. Promise?”



His eyes widened, “I promise.”



I pulled him forward by his shirt and whispered, “Tellibali Raj.” I said, “You tell no one.”



He nodded vigorously and I let him go. He asked, “Why are you trusting me?”



I grinned. “I’m good at reading people.” I backed away and said, “You remind me of who I used to be.” I left him in the dark and headed far enough into the woods that I could call Crowley.



I’d been stupid. I’d been separating myself from humans, from demons, from everyone. It didn’t matter. There were so many people that didn’t deserve to die. I wanted to help them, and to do that I needed to change.