Heaven Far Away

Author's Notes:

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Chapter Nine - The Consequence of Love

[Cemetery]


“It seems like you’re not a popular man.”

Chitose didn’t know whether he meant that as a joke or a matter of fact. The bare gravestone held no offerings nor did it show a sign that anyone was there last. His batch of lilies was the only decoration for the gravestone as he placed it down.

“Are you satisfied wherever you are right now?”

He wanted to utter bitter words about their predicament but… somehow it seemed disrespectful no matter how true they may be.

“I must admit that you’ve calculated each step out with precision. Even in your death, you’re still a barrier that stands between the two of us. You knew us well, didn’t you? Our thoughts and behaviours, you knew that we would not be freed.”

A will from many years ago, and they still carry the consequences even ‘till this day. Chitose sometimes questions the validity of their sentimentality, their need to follow rules that were of their own makings, and the expectations that everyone around them hold.

“Yet, I still find myself sincere when I say that I am thankful to you. Without you, I would have never met him.”

That alone should speak enough.

“Can you keep a secret?” Chitose smiled at his own lame joke. “I have a feeling that… maybe; I am no longer a part of his world anymore. It makes me want to kill someone. Not like how I killed you, but… truly wrap my hands around someone’s neck and devoid them of their life. I’m a monster, aren’t I? Did you see this in me when you picked me up, master?”

Chitose’s always thought that he was a gentle child, unable to hurt another human being. Life proved him wrong, and time gave him the strength necessary for such heinous crimes.

“I’ll be attending a wedding in just a couple of hours. I certainly hope that I haven’t jinxed their marriage by coming to see you first.”

If he were still alive, he would certainly say that it was a preposterous idea. If anything, seeing him would certainly be a blessing than damnation!

“Well then, I shall leave you to your slumber. Perhaps I’ll see you again some other time.”


[Opiate]


“You’re not even going to reconsider your decision, Bakusui-sama?” Kazuya sat in one of those plush sofa chairs in Bakusui’s room; he fancied that it was the same one that the number one host had been in when they last ran into each other in this room. If that’s the case, maybe he could rid the sofa chair of all its previous scents with his own. It would just be a small satisfaction when his entire being wanted to wipe away Chitose’s existence from this world. Did he want him dead? Well, not to that extent… but he certainly wouldn’t mind if Chitose was gone.

Bakusui was casually pulling open drawers and picking out sex toys that are representative of their own category. From dildo to vibrators, to whips and handcuffs, these rooms were equipped with the basic essentials necessary for most fetishes. Other than the sound of toys being taken out of their drawers, Bakusui had not said a single word in response to Kazuya’s nagging question.

And trust that Kazuya’s been nagging Bakusui about this ever since he found out.

“You can’t be serious! Ren-san isn’t even a number one host, and he hasn’t even been here for two years, he can’t possibly train me in that department!” Since Kazuya’s already tried whining to Ren with no amiable outcome, he thought he’d come back and nag Bakusui again. Between Ren and Bakusui, the former would probably punch him if he grew too annoying, but the latter had a higher level of tolerance that certainly has been built up over the years. In conclusion, Kazuya was safer with Bakusui. “Bakusui-sama, I’ve been wrong, I did wrong, I’ve committed a horribly wrong deed! Please, just forgive me this once and I promise it will never happen again! I want to be trained by you, the proper trainer!”

Bakusui finally closed the drawer and turned to face him. Kazuya immediately closed his mouth and looked up at the trainer with hopeful eyes.

“Do you know why we’re doing this today?” This, meaning the exhibition of sex toys. Kazuya shook his head. “Normally, the usual course of events would mean that this happens after you’ve been broken into.” Somehow, those words did not sound polite. “However, since Ren has placed his job on the line to guarantee success at the end of this month, we will have to do everything else beforehand.”

So that was a no to Kazuya’s begging then. His shoulder slumped and he sighed heavily. He didn’t like to feel regret, especially not when it tasted this bitter. Kazuya couldn’t understand why Bakusui would even entrust such a job to Ren. If the owner found out, what would he say? For a brief second, he contemplated upon complaining to the owner, and then he thought better of it. The owner is probably going to interrogate him on just why it did not succeed the first time around with Bakusui.

Why was this such a big deal?! He just had to lie there and spread his legs!

“This,” Bakusui held up a purple coloured dildo with much disinterest, “I’m sure you know what this is and where it’s supposed to go. A word of caution, this is not a butt plug, so make sure you always have a grip on it. It doesn’t matter whether you’re using it on yourself or on a client.”

“A client?”

“Yes, a client. Although you will be formally introduced into the uke category, there are incidences where clients will treat you otherwise. I would say that more than ninety percent of the clients you encounter will, of course, expect you to play the more submissive role as you have been trained. However, there are always those clients who have a different… liking than the general population; meaning, they get off when being dominated by someone who is traditionally a bottom. Thus, make sure this stays in your hand and does not become a malfunctioning butt plug. Understand?”

“Yes and no.” Kazuya answered immediately. The dildo not equalling to a butt plug thing, he grasped already. It was the more technical aspect of this club that he wasn’t quite sure about. “So are you saying that some clients will pay, let’s say Ren-san, to bottom because that is how they like it?”

“Yes.”

“And the hosts will accept?”

“It varies from host to host. Some hosts are vehemently against it, and some can take it with their eyes closed. It would also depend on your position within the organization. Takumi could probably refuse a client who asks for that without repercussions, but Tooru would probably not have the grounds to refuse.”

Tooru was probably some host who wasn’t even ranked.

“But that’s not important.” Bakusui carried on and picked up a pink dildo. “Now, this is a butt plug, notice the flared out base. Of course, it can be used as dildo as well. Make sure you know the difference between these two. If you ever get a dildo shoved up someone’s ass, don’t expect anyone to sympathize with you.”

Kazuya had half a mind to ask whether such a mistake had ever been made in the history of Opiate. However, seeing how much emphasis Bakusui was placing on it, Kazuya would bet that to be a yes.

“Then you have your vibrators. They are usually suitable for both external and penetrative use, just be careful with the smaller ones. Once you penetrate using those, make sure the string is readily accessible to take it out. Again, if it gets stuck up someone’s ass, no one will sympathize with you.” Kazuya perched forward to touch the array of different vibrators. They were made in the crudest shape of a penis to elegantly designed shapes that would allow easy carriage. For example, one was made in the shape of a lipstick that could be easily disguised within one’s purse.

“Make sure you know your client and yourself, the different levels of vibration do not sit the same with everyone. Some may feel that even the highest level is not stimulating enough, but some cannot even stand the lowest level.” He switched on the nearest one, pushing from low to high; Kazuya heard the buzzing of the machine. “The bottom line is, no matter what you use, the client’s safety and pleasure is number one. You listen to what the client wants you to do, even if it’s something you’ve not done before. In here, clients are gods, and everything they say must be obeyed.”

“Che, even if they ask us to die?” Kazuya muttered with a defiant tone as he fingered one of the vibrators that was handed to him. In his concentration, he missed the slightest of frown crossing Bakusui’s face at that careless question.

Yes, even if they asked the hosts to die.
Apparently, anyways.

For the next hour, Kazuya was slowly introduced to the more conventional sex toys and leading up to things that he’s never even seen before. Cross that, things that he’s never even imagined before. Perhaps as the territory grew bolder, his expression was temporarily etched with the question of why would anyone want to put that in themselves? It was beyond comprehension in his mind. However, Bakusui simply reminded him that it wasn’t about reason or logic, it was about pleasure, and people derived pleasure from different things.

“I’ve once encountered a client who derived pleasure from fire.”

“Like… melting wax and stuff like that?”

“That would be considered foreplay to him.” Bakusui recalled with a smirk. “I remember we were out one night and he had had quite a lot to drink. Then he confessed to me that he’s always masturbated to scenes of arson. I had thought that it was just the alcohol talking. Then, some time after that, he showed me his collection of arson tapes that he’s collected and I watched as he masturbated to that collection of video tapes until orgasm. To him, those were pornographic images.”

“How do you react to something like that?”

“Sit there and do nothing, unless the client tells you to do something.”

“Were you turned on?”

“What do you think I am?”

Although Kazuya may consider Bakusui to be not a human being at times, he knew that Bakusui was at least turned on by situations that were somewhat more understandable. With the stories that Bakusui has told him –and since it’s paired with fetishes and sex toys, they just get wilder as time goes on--, Kazuya has began to question the duties of a host. Other than being there to please a client sexually, did they also have to please a client emotionally and psychologically as well? So then, how was it possible that no host has fallen in love with a client yet? When one starts providing every tier with care, where is the line between work and personal relationship?

Kazuya wasn’t sure whether he understood.

“Bakusui-sama, has there been any cases where a host fell in love with a client?”

“Of course.”

“What happens then?”

“The most natural thing would be for that relationship to terminate immediately, isn’t it? Especially if the host is still paying off debts. If not, then I suppose quitting and being with the one you love is the most logical conclusion.”

“But what if the client doesn’t love you?”

“Then you’re screwed.”

“Has any host here fallen for a client before?”

“Yes.”

“What happened to him?”

“He’s still working here.”

So then, did this profession require the selling of one’s feelings and heart as well? Kazuya listened to Bakusui’s monotonous explanation of the sex toys that were presented, but his mind tolled over the more sensitive concerns. If that host was still working here, then what happened to the client? Was there truly never a happily ever after in this business?

Or perhaps, once you’re a host, you’re forever a host.

Time ticked on, the silent lesson continued, and both trainer and trainee were haunted by their own questions. In due time, someone knocked on the door and as if a fog had been cleared, both of them looked over with renewed psyche.

“Enter.”

The door opened and Haruno walked in with his usual smile. It was nice to see a face that wasn’t etched with agony, and the manager’s always managed to lighten the mood. “Bakusui-san, I fear I will have to be stealing Kazuya from you now.”

“Be my guest, we’re pretty much done anyways. Besides, without him, I can finally relax as well.” The trainer waved a dismissive hand and leaned against the foot of the bed casually. Kazuya scrunched up his nose at that comment but jumped up to follow Haruno’s lead anyways. It was good to get out of that lesson, perhaps at another time, it would have been interesting.

“Haruno-sama, where are we going?” Kazuya asked once they were out of Bakusui’s room and in the hallway.

“We need to leave for the wedding shortly, Konbayoshi told me to get you ready.”

That’s right! Kazuya’s face showed realization. He had already forgotten about the wedding. Oh don’t get him wrong, he could recollect the day when Konbayoshi took him out shopping with vivid detail, he just couldn’t remember the cause. Back in his own room, Kazuya was given a limited amount of time to change and make himself presentable. When he met up with Konbayoshi and Haruno in the basement parking lot, he was wearing the complete outfit that Konbayoshi had assembled for him. Kazuya felt proud and confident, even his strides were filled with pride. Unlike him, both the owner and manager were in formal suits.

“Where is the wedding?”

“At a park. The groom rented out the entire park for this occasion.”

Kazuya whistled lightly and shifted from left to right in the backseat, but since Konbayoshi was driving, he could only perch onto Haruno’s seat while questioning him about every little detail.

“Why do we need to go?”

“Because he sent us invitations.”

“So then, why are we the only ones going?”

“It’s only right that the higher staff members attend since he was a valued member.”

“Why am I going then?”

“Because it will be good for you, so you can recognize some more people and broaden your network.”

“Why is he getting married?”

“I would presume that he fell in love?”

“Even when he signed a male host for exclusive?”

“Perhaps he was bisexual?”

“Who is the wife?”

“A model, or at least, that’s what I’ve been told.”

“Then wouldn’t the wife feel…”

“Haven’t you two had enough?” Finally, the driver spoke up with much irritation in his tone. “Haruno, stop humouring him, he’s not an infant. Kazuya, sit properly and use the seat belt. If both of you are so curious, go ask the groom all those questions when you see him. Now behave, we’re almost there.”

Of course, once the supreme command has been given, Kazuya obediently sat back properly and clicked his seat belt in place. From the rear view mirror, he saw Haruno’s amused smile.

“The owner has become quite the nagging mother, hasn’t he?” Haruno added on lightly, his eyes ticked from Konbayoshi to Kazuya. The latter nodded in agreement while the former gave both them a warning look before the car turned into the park’s parking lot. Instead of the usual atmosphere, as far as eyes can see, all was decorated with baby pink, baby blue and white. From trees to benches, there were ribbons and balloons. The weather was not warm, but it was not exceptionally cold. In short, nature was cooperating today.

All around them, men and women were dressed in their finest and chatting with a glass of alcohol in their hands. Whether any of them drank it would remain anonymous. By the time they found a parking space and have joined the rest of the invitees, they were being gently ushered towards the ceremonial seats.

“Kazuya, go find Chitose, he should be around here somewhere.” Konbayoshi dropped the host a quick line before turning to answer someone’s greeting. Haruno was already no where to be found, but his auburn hair told of a general location. Left standing in the hollow of socialization, Kazuya could only sigh and follow Konbayoshi’s order.

Looking for Chitose was more difficult than he thought. Originally, he looked for a golden head, but then he realized that many were wearing hats. Slowly, his search took him further away from the crowd and towards the more remote areas of the park. Many times, Kazuya thought about turning back and telling Konbayoshi that he couldn’t find Chitose anywhere, but perseverance and the want to please propelled him forwards.

Then, finally, it was between a row of trees that he spotted the number one. Except, the number one was not alone. With him, there was another man, he was dressed in white. The two of them stood in close proximity with one another, and Kazuya didn’t want to approach any closer. Although he could very well call out to interrupt, the atmosphere looked as if it was too sacred to be broken. So, standing a good distance away, he looked at them.

Chitose came in an elaborate kimono; Kazuya could tell that it was a formal kimono that was far more complicated than what the number one usually wears. Even his back view was attractive. By looking at them, Kazuya wondered if Chitose also suffered from the syndrome of unrequited love. Then, the man leaned down and kissed Chitose for a brief moment before he took off. When Chitose turned, it was immediate that he saw Kazuya. For a split second, Chitose was surprised, but recovered with a smile.

“Kazuya-kun, were you looking for me?”

“The owner told me to look for you.”

“Ah, is that so.”

The two of them walked side by side towards where the people were. Kazuya stole small glances at the host from the corner of his eyes. Chitose looked as normal as he could be, even if that scene looked like two lovers’ meeting, the host was unfazed.

“Chitose-san…”

“Yes?”

“Who was that?”

“Hoshino Ichiro-sama. He was my exclusive client for the past few years.”

“Hoshino? Isn’t he the one getting married?!”

“Yes.”

“Then…” Kazuya trailed off, not exactly sure whether he should ask any further. Although he didn’t want to admit, he remembered how Takumi had told him with such a serious tone that he should get along with Chitose.

“Kazuya-kun, have you heard that there are many meanings behind kisses?”

“What do you mean?”

“For example, kissing on the cheek could signify friendship, gratitude or just even a simple greeting. Kissing the back of one’s hand could mean respect and paying tribute to. A kiss on one’s forehead could mean maternal love, familial love and a sense of protection.” Chitose explained quietly, Kazuya’s noticed that this number one has never raised his voice ever since they’ve met. “So even if it looked like a clear cut scene from an outsider’s perspective, a kiss could bear different weight. The one just now was a sign of gratitude, apology, and perhaps even saying goodbye and putting a closure on one chapter of life.”

“Are you in love with him? Is it hard to see him get married to someone else?”

“I do love him.” Chitose admitted with a smile. “But it’s different from the kind of love you’re thinking about. For the past four years and three months, I’ve been with that man. We ate together, we slept together, we cried together, we laughed together. In a period of my life where everything was changing, he was the ever present constant. We’ve grown attached to one another, we’ve grown used to one another, and so when there is parting, of course there is sadness. However, at the same time, this is a joyous occasion for him, so I am happy for him as well.”

Attachment, it didn’t equal the kind of passionate love that would make one give up one’s life for.

“Bakusui-sama told me that a host once fell in love with a client, but he’s still working in the club. What do you think about that, Chitose-san?”

On that note, Chitose glanced over at Kazuya before turning his gaze to in front of him. Kazuya fancied that the question took Chitose by surprise and thus, the number one conjured up an answer that took time for thought. “It’s a gamble, and if you’re willing to handle the consequences, then go for it. If not, then play it the safe way, retire for the evening once you’ve some winnings and enjoy the small leap of happiness.”

“So it’s better to play it safe?”

Here, Chitose paused and turned to face Kazuya with a mischievous grin in his eyes. “If you play it safe, then you’ll certainly never experience that devastating pain after a loss. However, at the same time, if you play it safe, you will also never experience that ecstatic joy after a win.”

Chitose turned to join the concession; he easily located Konbayoshi and Haruno near the back of the group and joined them naturally. The three of them struck up their own conversation easily; no one questioned where Chitose was. Kazuya, on the other hand, was still digesting the number one’s philosophy. In the end, like moths to flame, even if just once, that high of ecstasy is worth a life time’s pain.

Konbayoshi turned at the entrance and his eyes scanned the crowd before picking out Kazuya. From across the distance, their eyes connected and Kazuya could only stare at him for a while. Slowly, a frown deepened itself upon Konbayoshi’s features and Kazuya quickly hurried to join him. The four of them were placed near the back as they were not immediate relatives of either the bride or groom. However, even from their place, they could see the panorama.

“Kazuya, from here on, Chitose will also help you with training as well.” Konbayoshi spoke quietly while they all waited for the bride’s appearance. Both Chitose and Kazuya looked over to Konbayoshi, whom stood in between the two of them.

Fitting?
Hardly.

“Owner-sama?”

“He will give you some advice on dealing with different types of clients since you are in the same category. But the majority of your training will still be taken care of by Bakusui.”

And the most important part was to be done by Ren, how fair was that?

Kazuya wanted to drag his lips up for an agreeable smile but it turned out to be rather lopsided in the end. This just keeps on getting better, doesn’t it? From across Konbayoshi, Chitose was looking at him with a mild kind of curiosity before offering him a smile. A reassuring smile, Kazuya was sure. However, no matter how beautiful the smile was, to Kazuya, it was perhaps one of the most deadly sentences there could be.

To be continued...