Through The Glass.

He smiled at me, almost condescendingly. "Cocaine. Do you want to try?"

I had never done anything like this. I'd never had a drink, never done any type of drugs, and I'd never been one to fall under the influence of others.

I answered before I could stop myself, "Sure."

He looked at me, giving me a small smirk, and said, "Cool. Here's what you do."

He pulled out a straw, cut up small, no longer than an inch, and placed it at the end of one of the small lines, put his nose to the straw, and inhaled loudly. He did it so quickly that in seconds both lines were gone. He rubbed his nose a few times and then turned to me. "Now your turn."

I did my best to imitate his actions, putting the straw at the end of one line and breathing in, moving the straw as I went. I didn't do it as quickly as Matt had, but I managed to, and by the time I finished my two lines, I had to sneeze.

"Push against the bottom of your nose," he instructed. It sounded crazy, but I did as he said and it worked. My nose felt numb and strange, but nothing else happened for a while, so I waited.

Ten minutes later, I heard Matt begin to sigh next to me, his high beginning, and after that, I followed. My body felt warm and my skin tingled. The rush was quick and intense, and I began to smile, nodding to myself. But it was over too soon and I crashed, badly.

My body began to itch and my skin began to crawl as if someone had thrown a bag full of mosquitoes and mites and ants all over me. And as time passed, it only got more severe. Matt, who had since lain back on the bed, jolted quickly, rising to his feet and pinning my arms against the bed. I screamed.

"Shit, this happened to me the first time I tried, too," he mumbled, his words slightly slurring. "Just try to relax."

I tried but I couldn't. The itching was so severe and I couldn't stop. I tried to fight from his embrace, while he kept my wrists pinned to the bed so I couldn't rip my skin off. I screamed in frustration and fear, but after twenty more minutes, the itching stopped, and when I calmed down, Matt laid down next to me, stroking my hair.

I believed the worst of it was finally over, and I began to realize how close I was to Matt. His caresses were so gentle, his breath was so warm on my face, and his skin was so smooth. I didn't get to think about it much longer before I fell asleep by his side.

I woke up four hours later, with the most extreme case of a cold sweat I'd ever had in my entire life. I felt as if I had been standing in the Arctic completely nude, but my body was drenched in sweat. My teeth chattered uncontrollably. Matt didn't stir. I fought, managing to pull the covers from underneath his heavy body to cover myself. I still felt frozen from the inside out as my entire body began to tremble. I curled up against Matt for his warmth, but that didn't work either, and I only felt colder and colder. My body began to rock and lurch and I felt as though I had no voluntary control over its movement, and Matt awoke and began to look at me with panicked eyes, whispering words of comfort and reassurance that I failed to hear.

The chills lasted for hours on end until my body couldn't take anymore and I passed out from the pure exhaustion of it all. I awoke at nine in the morning, curled up against Matt, who had one arm strung along my waist. I felt safe and excited that he'd gotten so close, but that feeling didn't last long either. Before I knew it my body throbbed in pain. I felt as though I'd been hit by a truck and then by a bus and then by a freight train. My whole body ached from the pain of its insane lurching and rocking and trembling and fighting to overcome the effects of the cocaine.

I could hardly move my body, I was in so much pain, but then I felt something rising in my throat and flew to the other end of the bed, finding a metal garbage pail near the side of the bed, and then puking in it. I hadn't even noticed that Matt had gotten up until he rubbed my back and began to stroke my hair.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice holding so much worry and concern.

I couldn't answer him, so I just began sobbing. My sobs wracked my body and multiplied my pain by ten but I couldn't seem to do much else, as I threw my arms around his neck and began to cry into his chest.

"Shhh, it'll be okay," he whispered into my neck, holding on to me as if in a few seconds I would disappear. "I think I need to take you home now. You think you can handle the trip?"

I shook my head but he ignored me, carrying me bridal style out of his apartment, grabbing my bag, and walked to his car. He placed me gently in the passengers seat, giving me a reassuring smile, before he closed the door and walked around the front of the car. He sat in his seat, started the engine, and drove off wildly, as I fell into a profound sleep.