The Broken Road

kylee – hello, nice to, um, read you :D I like to tease my readers so... there will be some turning points in future ;) But I hope you’ll be as pleased, as surprised. If you have any objections/suggestions/questions/complaints, do not hesitate to comment!

lividfire – wow, what country are you from? yeah, being a student is the right time to get rebelious ;) if not then, then when? :D I hope you got what you were fighting for...

we’re still in the past but ‘now’ is a bit closer again. maybe two chapters? we’ll see; the story always grows longer than I intend ;)

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Appearances


When Kayden opened the door, he faced Jimar's fierce eyes.

"What the fuck, man?" The dark-skinned boy knitted his thick brows and made a sudden gesture, as if looking for a fight. They’d never liked each other and this time Jimar got really annoyed, having to wait at his own door. "It's not even your room. Whatcha doin' here?" he asked, passing the intruder and heading to his bed.

The hot blood that hadn't cooled down yet boiled in Kayden again. He felt a strong temptation to bash the conceited guy and he barely managed to overpower it. "I'm waiting for Ringo," he explained, forcing himself to sound calm.

"And that's why you closed the door, huh?" The situation seemed, at the very least, suspicious to Jimar. He reached for his backpack and started digging in it, searching for something.

"Yeah, he asked me to. He...he didn't feel very good; he felt like throwing up. That's why. Maybe he didn't want anybody to come in on that, or something." Kayden cooked up the simplest explanation he could. "He's in the bathroom now and I'm just waiting for him." The swoosh of flowing water confirmed his words.

"Yeah, yeah. You two make me sick sometimes, you faggots." Jimar didn't even look at Kayden. He finally found what he'd been looking for and he straightened up, threw the backback into the corner again, and moved towards the door.

Kayden thanked the fates that Ringo didn't hear that, as the water was still drowning out their conversation. If he had, it would be the end of everything; he'd never let Kayden close to him again, afraid of being stigmatized.

Kayden was different. He wasn't scared of such shallow accusations. First of all he knew it was plain nastiness that spoke through Jimar, not an actual conclusion, and besides he knew how to fight back, having learnt that in practice denial very often meant the same as admitting.
"Jealous, huh? Nobody’s shoved it up your ass lately?," he hissed, controlling his anger with the greatest effort.

"What did you say?" Jimar turned back and fixed his eyes on Kayden's face, his wide nostrils fluttering like butterfly wings. Oh, yeah; he was mad.

"You're so fucking simple, dickhead." Kayden added fuel to the fire, feeling a wave of adrenaline spreading through his body. That's right, he was looking for a way to vent his frustration, and Jimar, with his awful character and nasty attitude, seemed a perfect tool. The fight was already hanging in the air, just waiting for the slightest spark to cause things to burst into flames, when the bathroom door opened and Ringo appeared, his face pale and the T-shirt on his chest wet from the water that flowed down his chin and neck.

"Oh, hi, Jimar," he started weakly, completely unaware of the situation. "Sorry for closing the door. I feel sick. It must have been that sausage." Not until then did he raise his eyes to look at his schoolmates. Their hard, evil expressions startled him a little, and he asked hesitantly, "What's up? Has something happened?"

Jimar opened his mouth, biting words at the tip of his tongue, but finally he decided that the nice evening wasn't worth wasting on these two, especially since he didn't have anything against Ringo, apart from his close friendship with Kayden, maybe. "Whatever," he tossed out, and rushed out of the room.

"You said something to him, didn't you?" Ringo drew his brows together.

"Yes, I did. I could fuckin' kill 'im," Kayden answered, his face still determined.

"C'mon...he didn't do anything wrong. It's his room, after all."

"I hate him anyway."

"Why? He's okay, I think." Jimar wasn't anyone particularly important to Ringo but they’d never had any serious problems with each other.

"I don't know. It just happens sometimes that someone gets on your nerves." Kayden shrugged his shoulders. " That’s the case with him. I can't stand him. And likewise."

"No wonder. You invaded his kingdom." Ringo sighed and dropped onto the bunk.

"I what?" His boyfriend gave him a surprised, confused look and sat down near him.

"You know, he used to be the lord of our backyard. Chicks, sports, parties, and Jimar Almighty - the king of everything that most young people, at least of Jimar's kind, dream about. And you're his competition."

"Am I? I guess something escaped his notice," Kayden chuckled. "Funny, isn't it? He'd die outright if he knew."

Ringo gave him a meaningful glare. "I think it's us who would die outright if he knew. Just a few minutes ago I thought I was going to die."

"Hey, nothing happened, after all." Kayden reached out to ruffle Ringo's hair. "Feeling better now?"

"Yeah, it's okay."

Kayden noticed Ringo's alarmed glances out into the corridor and withdrew his hand, mentally cursing Jimar. Now he had to start everything over from the beginning, and the fact that he was running low on patience didn't make things easier.

"Uhm, Ringo, can we go...somewhere?" he suggested, observing Ringo's reactions vigilantly.

"Like where?"

"Dunno. To the beach? I like it there."

As soon as Kayden said it he felt the other boy tense and clench his fists nervously. Fuck! He swallowed the curse. He’d known it would be like that, and now he could really kill Jimar. "You scared?" He did his best to supress the rage growing inside him.

"Isn't it obvious, Kay? Aren’t you?" Ringo gave him a sulky look.

"Not as much as you, I suppose. I still might go to the beach."

"You're...you're so careless sometimes, you know?" Ringo shook his head, his eyes focused intently on his entwined fingers. "I think he might have some suspicions, don't you? We spend a lot of time together and people are quite observant. We should, you know, keep up appearances."

Kayden felt slightly offended. He found being comfortable with who he was and what he wanted to be a completely different thing than the carelessness he'd been accused of. "Okay, let's assume someone knows about us. So what? Man, the times when homosexuals were burnt at the stake passed decades ago."

"Homo - shit, I'm not gay!" Ringo reacted instictively, panic flashing in his eyes.

Here we go. That was it as far as that topic went. Kayden closed his eyes, and together with them his heart. He had to. This would be a much longer and harder way than he'd thought.

He remembered his brother explaining the denial mechanism to him, and he knew it wasn't something a person got over in a couple of days. Basically, he was doomed for God knew how long, with no hope for any real progress.

"Yeah, right," he said flatly, but without malicious intent. "You're not. Some disturbing events made me forget that." He stood up, resigned, and started toward the door.

"Hey, wait, where are you going?" Ringo felt everything was slipping out of his control.

"To the girls. To keep up appearances," Kayden answered expressionlessly, and he left, not looking back.

True, maybe he should have stayed there and tried to talk to Ringo. They were both still a little shaken by what had happened and the younger boy obviously needed some more time to recover. Probably Kayden should have offered him his support. But for God's sake, he wasn't a cyborg! He’d never had to care about someone at his own expense, and being in love wasn't enough to learn it from one day to the next.

They both had their own demons to fight, and the real trials were yet to come.

Ringo stared at the empty, dark corridor through the opened door, his eyes clouded with tears. He didn't want to cry, but.... He sniffed loudly and quickly wiped the tears away, before they managed to roll down. He felt betrayed. He'd reacted so fast to Kayden's words only because he was scared; because too many things had been going on in his head.

Was he gay? No, he didn't think about it that way, that was true. He’d never named it directly and honestly. But that didn't mean he hadn't accepted the facts. He was in love with Kayden, although they were both men, and he wasn't going to run away from it. Quite the contrary; he was determined to tame the storms that seized his soul and domesticate new truths about himself. He just...he needed some more time to deal with it, step by step, and Kayden's pace was hard to follow.

Kayden's hunched back, when he'd left...that hurt.

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Ringo took a deep breath and pushed the door open. It had taken him awhole long hour to get a grip on himself and stop feeling sorry for himself. Standing in front of the mirror, he had decided there was nothing to be melodramatic about. A boyfriends’ fight, the very problem!

It wasn’t like everything was over. Nobody stops being in love in the space of five minutes, just because of mere stress, right?

If Kayden was going to have fun, so was he.

When he stepped into the girls' room, a deep silence greeted him. After a couple of seconds everybody sighed with relief and the hubbub of voices filled the room again.

"Shit, we thought it was Caughnotch," Ryan laughed nervously. "Don't scare us like that, you bastard."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to," Ringo smiled, his eyes discreetly skimming over Kayden's face. The blond boy pretended not to notice him but to be engrossed in a flirtation, with two girls fawning on him. Even one glimpse was enough to show that he was already tipsy.

That's really great! Somehow Ringo had hoped his boyfriend would be waiting for him. It was kind of unpleasant to see Kayden enjoying himself as if Ringo didn't exist. And on top of that a drunk Kayden was a potentially dangerous circumstance. Who knew what crazy ideas he might get in that state?

Ringo quickly shook off these unhappy thoughts and joined a different circle of joy, stifling his gloomy mood and hiding it deep under his skin.

"Hey, have one!" Jimar handed him a glass half-full of a colorless fluid.

"What's this?" Ringo eyed the glass mistrustfully.

"What do you mean, what is it? Vodka, of course."

"Sheesh, I don't like it like this. Do you have any juice?"

"Heh, that’s a sacrilege, you know? Mixing it with juice. But help yourself." Jimar passed Ringo a carton. "Had a fight with your boyfriend, or what?" His fleshy lips stretched in a mocking smile.

Ringo froze. How...? Why...? What should he do now? How should he react? "I-I..." he stammered. "What are you talking about?" Panic rattled his heart.

"God, you're so fucking serious sometimes." Jimar chuckled, amused by Ringo's confused expression. "Casanova must have a bad day today, fighting with everyone. With me, well, that's obvious. But with you? That’s something worth raising an eyebrow over."

"We...he...oh, he pisses me off sometimes." Ringo decided to surf on a wave that almost flooded him.

"That I can understand. He pisses me off all the time." Jimar's smile became ugly and he shot a short, envious look at Kayden.

"Um, leave it. We have better thing to do than talk about him." Ringo forced a casual attitude and raised his glass. "Cheers!"

"Oi, wait for me!" Jimar hastily filled other five glasses and joined the toast, together with the rest of the company.

The more they drank, the less depressed Ringo felt about his unsettled matters with Kayden. Sometimes, when some particularly funny or interesting subject was raised, he even forgot about the blond boy sitting behind him at the opposite side of the room. God bless vodka!

But as always happens, too much alcohol tends to distroy the bliss of being happily sloshed. And so it did this time.

"Jeannie!" The drunk, annoyed shout made everyone turn their dazed heads in the direction the shout had come from. Ringo, not without an effort, finally decided it had something to do with Jeannie sitting astride Kayden's legs and sucking his earring-bedecked ear. Yeah, that was a picture a boyfriend might get mad about. So Philip did. Well, Ringo did too, but the difference was that Philip immediately threw himself at the snuggling couple, giving voice to his anger, and Ringo just sat, paralyzed, squeezing his glass with all his strength. He could do nothing but watch, his heart bleeding.

Fortunately for Jeannie and the object of her caresses, Philip didn't make it to them. He tripped over somebody's legs that were stretched across the floor and fell like a log. And that was it, as he wasn't able to stand up again. But the situation triggered an avalanche of events.

"Hey, faggot," Jimar jibed. "Ringo didn't want to give you the business, so you make a move on somebody's girlfriend?"

Ringo felt a prick of sharp pain in his chest. He felt like crying, yet he knew he couldn't. The whole world had descended on him and he just missed Kayden so much...so much.

"No, he didn't," the blond boy answered slowly, shoving the girl aside. The truth was, he wasn't really interested in her; but he didn't really mind what she’d been doing. "But half a loaf is better than no bread, so you'll do, as a last resort. Especially since I'm not choosy when I'm drunk."

"You son of a bitch!" Jimar, as coordinated as it was possible to be in his state, sprang up from his seat, spilling drinks all over the small table and floor. He attacked Kayden, aiming for the bright head with his fist. To everyone's surprise Kayden managed to dodge the blow and Jimar hit empty air. It upset his already weak balance; he banged against the wall and collapsed heavily onto the floor. Before he could manage to gather his thoughts, Kayden was sitting on him, pinning him to the ground and twisting his arm. Jimar moaned, trying to focus on his defences, but he failed. And then he felt something terrifying, a hand squeezing his crotch, and heard a venomous whisper in his ear: "Don't mess with me, sweetie. You never know what I might do if pushed too far."

"Get the fuck off me!" Jimar yelled in a high, wailing voice. He was really scared now, especially of that hand between his legs. "Don't touch me, you cocksucker!"

"Scared to pick it up?" Kayden hissed, pushing his hips forward, against Jimar's ass, just to tease him a little. "You pathetic fool." He let the black boy go, bopped him on the head, and slowly stood up, supporting his body with his hands. Then he staggered to the door, leaving the company either too drunk to understand and react or too indifferent to care. And leaving Ringo too shocked to do anything.

Five minutes passed before Ringo cooled off after the fight. He looked around and, having decided that nobody gave a shit about anything any more, he slipped out of the room. He needed to find Kayden. Everything had gone so fucking complicated, difficult, and dangerous; he desperately needed his beloved, cheerful, good-for-nothing Kayden to laugh at it all and tell him everything was going to be fine. He'd do anything just to have Kayden back by his side. Anything.

He spent half an hour wandering around. Finally, having no idea where else he could look, he collapsed onto the wooden bench near the dead campfire, tired and sad. "Where are you, you bastard? Where are you?" he whispered, hiding his face in his hands. Then his numb mind was enlightened by a sudden thought: the beach! Yeah, why hadn't he thought of that?

He jumped to his feet and ran through the forest, tripping on roots and bumps in the road. When he got to the ocean shore, his cheeks reddened from exertion and his eyes incredibly bright, maybe from the vodka circulating in his veins, he saw that longed-for picture: a small silhouette sitting motionless on the sand. Ringo would have recognized that silhouette anywhere.

Unaware of the stupid smile of wild happiness that lit his face, he rushed forward. Out of breath, he dropped down next to Kayden, and completely out of the blue he began to sob quietly, still with that wide smile on his lips. Now that he’d found his man, he didn't need anything else. He didn't have anything to say, nor did he want to hear anything. It was enough, just as it was.

"We're in deep trouble, Ringo," Kayden said suddenly, bringing a glowing cigarette to his mouth. His hand trembled slightly.

"Why?" Ringo was too dizzy to understand. He was simply happy, and everything else didn't matter.

"You're so wasted, man," the older boy sighed. "So not like you."

"Not true. I was drunk the first time we kissed." Ringo chuckled.

Kayden didn't answer, only sighed again. He wasn't as drunk as everybody, including Ringo, had thought. And now he was perfectly aware that he’d fucked everything up. Because of his short temper he’d made their situation even more complicated than it was before, and having an open enemy in Jimar, who would be thirsty for revenge now, was another nail in their coffin.

"You sure gave them a show back there." Ringo smiled absently. Now, when he had Kayden with him, he remembered the whole commotion only as an entertaining event, not something that had upset him gravely. The memory of drunk people truly is amazingly flexible.

"I didn't want to." Kayden let out the ring of smoke from his O-shaped mouth. "I just...." He shook his head. He didn't really know what he wanted to say.

"I love you, Kayden." The quiet voice, sounding quite serious, surprised him. He looked at the dark mop of his boyfriend, who was staring at the lazy ocean waves, and suddenly his mind was a total blank. "I really do," Ringo repeated, this time turning his head and looking Kayden in the eyes. "I want it to last."

Kayden, still buffaloed, choked on the acrid smoke that he’d forgotten to let out. He coughed for a moment, feeling cold and hot by turns, his heart beating fast and hard. That honesty of Ringo always knocked him into a cocked hat, forcing him to face some troublesome questions. For a moment he wondered if he shouldn't react to that confession as if it was the empty gibberish of a smashed boy, but.... Why would he subject his own stand to Ringo's behavior? Ringo was very direct, after all. Maybe he too could take a risk.

"Me too, Ringo. I...I love you," he whispered with an effort, the pregnant words falling from his lips like precious stones, and Ringo caught them in flight.

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Well, what do you think?
I’m dying to know your impressions. Please, try to turn them into words and leave them here, okay? :)
Thank you.