-+Requiem+-

Chapter Nine

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“Of course that’s not the only thing that needs to be changed around here.” Arkaia made a non-committal noise of agreement and patiently feigned interest as the werewolf prattled on about one thing or another concerning the country’s laws. I, of course, was stuck here with them and although ignored I still wasn’t allowed to slip away and hide where no one could find me.

Apparently it was an unspoken rule that if attending a party you have to strike up a long and tedious conversation with its host that should, in all regards, drive them crazy. How Arkaia was able to tolerate all of this was beyond my comprehension and already I wanted to run away screaming or something equally dramatic. I hope I’m never considered one of the hosts…

I didn’t have much hope for that though, because looking around I could see Ikuma and Infirite in the same predicaments. Ikuma was handling it well and Infirite had his normal blank expression but there was just about him that seemed to be screaming ‘get away from me!’ I hoped that he wasn’t pushed to his breaking point.

Infirite was strong but there was only so much a person could handle and with everything that had happened these past few days neither of us were equipped to handle much more of it. I wonder which one of us will break first.

It was a morbid thought but it was also fitting. I was still trying not to think about Scarlet, for example. Arkaia’s thumb stroked my hip again and I tried to force myself to relax. He had put his arm around me as soon as we had left Ryce’s office and hadn’t moved it since. In a way he was trying to both protect and comfort me, though it also showed his own worry whenever he stroked my hip, but it didn’t do much to placate my anxiety.

It did let me know that he knew I didn’t like being here though, but also that he couldn’t do anything about it without being rude to his guests and putting me in danger. He’d get me out of here if he could, I think. At least I hope he would.

As a noble I guess you just couldn’t skip out of your duties unless there was an emergency, and an uncomfortable childer was not considered an emergency. I could handle this though. If Infirite, who was more antisocial than I was, could do it then I had no room to complain.

There was a sudden rise in noise level and I looked up to see two sets of doors being opened on the right side of the hallway spanning off from the left of the entrance hall where everyone was currently standing. (The guest numbers had steadily risen in the few hours we had been playing hosts and had now reached the hundreds at least.) Then everyone started moving towards them, including Arkaia and myself, and I wondered just where the hell we were going.

“This is the ballroom. I warn you now that Malor decorations are not the same as human ones.” I was a bit apprehensive now. From the other decorations I had seen so far I didn’t think this would be a ‘happy’ event, not to human standards anyway. At least the movement had caused the werewolf to shut up and politely break off the conversation for now. I hope he doesn’t feel the need to start it up again either.

As we came up upon the doors we met up with Infirite but I had no time or way to confront him without drawing attention to ourselves. I didn’t want him to keep blaming himself or to avoid me, but I didn’t know how I could stop him either. I can’t force him to do anything either.

I didn’t really want to force him anyway. Nothing good would come of it.

As we entered the ballroom my eyes were immediately drawn to the numerous silver spider webs attached to the ceiling, but more so to the ‘spiders’ that were still up there with them. They looked like average humans except they had an extra pair of arms and their eyes were the shiny, silvery color of led. Not to mention that their hair and skin color were the same, no matter what color that may be. Spider demons, I suppose.

They watched me from their perches, able to cling to the walls and ceiling like regular spiders could, and it was making me paranoid. They weren’t even looking at anyone else and didn’t seem bothered by the fact that they weren’t supposed to acknowledge me. Maybe I really am just paranoid and they aren’t looking at me at all.

I stopped staring at the ceiling and tried to ignore them, instead looking to the other decorations. They weren’t much better.

The ballroom was huge, as I had expected it to be, and the lighting was low, using candles instead of electricity. The large windows that littered two sides of the room were covered and made to look like a lightning storm was outside, complete with sound effects. The curtains sparkled and were made to match the night sky, so much so that they had to be laced with magic or they’d never be able to pull it off.

The statues spread out against the walls moved and silently interacted with the people around them. I didn’t know who or what they were supposed to represent but they looked fierce none-the-less.

In contrast to the creepy decorations there was an actual small orchestra in one corner of the room playing what I supposed was classical music for vampires. It was mellow and had almost nothing in common with the decorations. I really didn’t get it.

The decorations were easier to understand because they were similar to the Hallows Eve celebrations I had been to as a child (and it was Ferallie Mensis, the month of the dead). It would take some getting used to but I guess for a vampire that human celebrations would be the weird ones.

Akraia stationed us near the wall but stopped me from leaning against it. Letting go of my waist for a moment he touched the wall and almost immediately fake blood started oozing out of it. He removed his hand before it could cover him and it stopped, slowly disappearing afterwards. Vampires are weird…

I had to admit it was a cool affect though.

And now that we were inside the guests were distracted by the décor and for the moment were leaving us alone. That didn’t last for long though as yet another one came to praise Arkaia for party he had only just arrived in time to show up for. A vampire or something; I had stopped paying attention to who and what they were.

Instead my eyes automatically sought out Infirite and I saw him standing next to one of the statues, trying in vain to hide behind it. I definitely knew how he felt and was even more paranoid because all of the eyes on me. None except for the spider demons were outright staring, of course, but I knew they were still looking at and talking about me.

Already I hated being a Blood Count and knew that it was only going to get worse after I was introduced. Then they’ll actually be able to speak to me and approach me. I can only hope that Arkaia gets overprotective enough to make them back off. Speaking of which, wasn’t Infirite supposed to be like that too?

I supposed that he was coming out of his ‘heat’, at least enough for him not to be controlled by his need to keep me to himself. I still wanted to talk to him though and I think I was slowly becoming obsessed with it. I guess I have to keep my mind occupied with something, and Infirite isn’t the worst of my worries right now.

There was still no way for me to confront him though and I was forced to wait as Arkaia’s guest left us and another pair came in their place. This time it an older gentleman with gray hair and eyes that were covered in a milky film particular to blind people. He didn’t seem hindered by it though and moved as though nothing were wrong with him.

By his side was a child that looked to be a little younger than Scarlet had been. He fidgeted and tugged on the end of his robes, trying to subtly peer up at us and failing. He was cute and I kind of wanted to talk to him but didn’t since he couldn’t answer me back without it being rude.

Instead I watched him as the older man and Arkaia talked and as I did he started squirming even more. He really wanted to react to me, I think, but the older man must have told him not to before hand. I didn’t think such a little guy would know to otherwise.

That might not be true though. Since he was probably a nobleman too he had to have been trained on proper etiquette and things like that. Not to mention that every creature here was non-human so whatever he was probably had a superior sense of smell. I bet he can tell I’m newly turned from my scent alone. Just as I can tell he’s a werewolf.

As I finally caught his eye as he tried to peer up at me I couldn’t help but grin and wink at him, trying not to laugh as he then ducked his head and blushed. As Arkaia shifted beside me I knew he had seen the little exchange but thankfully he did nothing more than put his arm back around me. At least he hadn’t gotten angry at the boy and I hoped that he wouldn’t get in trouble with the other man either.

I wonder if the man is his father. That reminded me of my own father and the minute similarities of the boy-that-was-like-Scarlet being punished was not lost on me. It only served to remind me further that Scarlet, that none of my family, was alive anymore. I was the only one left and I shouldn’t be.

It was all rushing back to me now, all the things that had happened in the past few days, and I didn’t know how to stop it. There were so many things; my father going crazy and then dragging me down to that basement, the demon summoning, my turning (that I still didn’t remember), finding out that I was a vampire and a Blood Count, and all of the expectations that were going to be placed on me. It was all too much for me to handle and it felt like the walls were closing in on me.

If I still had the need to breathe I think I’d be having trouble with it right now and even with everything on my mind I still tried to hide the fact that I was freaking out from Arkaia. It was hard though and each time I caught sight of the boy out of the corner of my eye it reminded me of Scarlet and how I would never see him again. I would never see any of them again; neither my family nor any of the people of my home town.

I was alone in this world that was now filled with vampires, werewolves, and creatures I didn’t even have names for. There’s so many things I have to do, that I’m expected to do, and I don’t know if I can do a single one of them. Arkaia’s grip on my waist tightened and I tried to ignore him. I didn’t want him to know that I was this weak.

I can handle this. I didn’t even believe myself on that and nearly came to the breaking point as Nightshade shifted in my mind and reminded me of yet another thing that wrong with me. Not only do I have to deal with all of this crap but I also have another personality as well!

I felt like laughing hysterically but stopped myself. There was already enough attention drawn to me as it was. It was as though they expected me to start performing magic tricks. Yes, and for my next act I’ll burn the place down just like I did to my own home!

I couldn’t forget the fire, now could I?

Arkaia tried to drag me closer to him but I put a hand on his side to keep the distance. I didn’t want him touching me and this time it had nothing to do with Nightshade. I didn’t think I could keep it together if he touched me further.

“Crimson…” That, surprisingly, was Infirite’s voice and could I sense him beside me but I didn’t look up to see him. I had to get a hold of myself. I couldn’t lose it in front of all these people.

I protested as he tried to touch me, although a part of me still wanted him to, but he ignored that and managed to wrap his arms around me before we were engulfed in a sheet of flames. When they died down we were back in the study of Infirite’s quarters and he sat me down on the same couch I had sat in before. Arkaia was not with us but I didn’t bother to think about why that was. It didn’t really matter anyway.

“Crimson.” It was funny how now he was trying to get my attention when earlier I had wanted nothing more than to make things right between us. It’s funny, really. Far funnier than it should be.

I couldn’t stop the hysteric laugh that burst forth and quickly tried to get myself under control. Ignoring the fact that I still had my shoes on I brought my feet up onto the couch and wrapped my arms around my legs. The jacket I was wearing tightened around my shoulders uncomfortably but I ignore it.

“Sorry.” He shouldn’t have to be subject to my little break down and I felt guilty that he had to see and deal with it. Just another thing to be worried about. There was just so much pressure I was under that I didn’t know how to handle it any longer.

Squeezing my arms I hid my face, wishing my hair was down to hide it further, and was only reminded of its now red color. Why me? I buried my face further into my arms and tried to will it not to happen but couldn’t control myself as I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

I am not going to cry. Not again. I am not this weak. But even as I thought this I felt the overflowing my eyes and running down my cheeks. The fresh scent of blood permeated the air and I knew it was my own. I was crying blood.

Although I didn’t want Infirite to see I knew he already knew about it and I lifted my head up to wipe off my tears and then stared at the blood smears on my hand. I tried to stifle another hysteric laugh but didn’t do a very good job of it and fought against Infirite as he tried to take me into his arms.

He was stronger than I was though and wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer so I just stopped struggling and let him hold me. Although he was a vampire he was still just as warm as a human was; just as warm as Scarlet when he clung to me. The tears were coming faster now and I was left with no choice but to cling back to Infirite and use his shoulder to hide myself as a sob managed to escape me.

I hated that I was showing such weakness but I was no longer in control of myself and all of Nightshade’s shifting just made it harder for me to regain it. I was fucking psychotic and there were just too many problems for someone to be able to fix them for me.

I didn’t know how long we had sat there or how long Infirite had been holding me but I was finally starting to hear some of his non-sensical mutterings of comfort. My tears were slowing down now and I was glad now more than ever that I didn’t need to breathe because it would be pretty hard to do so otherwise.

I was embarrassed at my emotional display but I couldn’t make myself let him go; not yet anyway. It didn’t seem like he would be letting me go anytime soon either way.

The dried blood clung to the skin under my eyes and I hated the way it felt on me. It only served to remind me just how not human I really was. No human cried blood and no human drank it to survive.

The shoulder of Infirite’s jacket felt wet and I knew it was soaked with my blood. I felt bad about that as well but there wasn’t anything I could do about it now. Selfishly I blamed him for it, for not letting me go, and felt guilty about it afterwards. He was only trying to help.

“Sorry.”

“There’s nothing wrong with having emotions. Even pureblooded vampires feel.” I wondered how he could be so accepting of others and yet not of himself. He had to have known about his own contradictions.

The sudden invasion of Arkaia’s scent distracted me from my thoughts and I felt his presence beside me before his weight sunk in on the couch. I hadn’t even heard the door open and was certain he hadn’t used it, leaving me to question just how he had gotten in without it. Does he teleport like Infirite does? Is that were Infirite got it from?

“Crimson…” He muttered and leaned closer to me, one hand petting my hair as he planted a kiss on the back of my head. Gently he pried me from Infirite and we both let him, I being too drained to protest. He repositioned me so I was in the same position, my face against his neck, but for different reasons than before.

“Drink. You should not be so drained of blood.” My gums ached at the mention of blood, more so a feeling of it without the actual pain, and my senses focused in on Arkaia’s neck and blood flowing though his veins. The human side of me didn’t want to bite him, to drink his blood, but my vampire side shoved that away and latched on like a giant leech.

Instinctually I knew where his veins were and pierced them automatically, filling my mouth with the sweet, coppery taste. As I drank it down it filled a void within myself, one I hadn’t even been aware was growing, and I could feel my hunger being sated. There was something odd about drinking Arkaia’s blood, aside form the obvious, but I couldn’t place what was off about it.

Withdrawing my fangs I watched as the wounds healed and slowly came back into myself. I hadn’t even noticed that he was rubbing my back in comfort until now. I didn’t deny that if felt good but I didn’t really want him to be the one doing it. I wasn’t sure who I wanted in his place either.

Pushing me away a bit he licked his thumb and gently rubbed the dried blood off of my cheeks. I frowned in annoyance, not wanting to be treated like a child, but didn’t push him away either. In a way I wanted to be comforted and coddled but I knew as a man I knew I wasn’t supposed to accept it. I suppose to vampires as old as these I am a child.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made you go.” He was apologizing when he had no choice in the matter. I didn’t understand it, why he was being so nice to me. This was more than the blatant sucking up I had expected from them since I was told about being this Blood Count. He wasn’t trying to manipulate me.

“You’re supposed to still be there…” I didn’t know how to respond to him. Was I supposed to forgive him for something outside of his control? How would I word something like that?

“Yes, but that doesn’t matter. You’re more important to me. Ryce and Adina can take care of the vexations.” Was it really alright for him to skip out on the party? Either way I couldn’t persuade him otherwise and didn’t really want to either. Their presence was comforting whether I’d openly admit to it or not.

In order to avoid the growing awkwardness I felt at Arkaia’s bold declarations I focused in on what I had been obsessing about before. Turning back to Infirite I met his gaze and was for a moment at a loss for words. What I wanted to say seemed so private that it felt like the words shouldn’t be spoken at all.

But they had to be. I had to say something or they’d eat a whole inside of me and build up until they exploded forth in a babbling of words that would probably be said at the worst possible time. This was not something I could tell him through telepathy.

“Infirite…” I felt nervous though I had no logical reasoning for it. “I don’t think I could begin to understand what you go through as a cambion, but I don’t think it’s your fault. Even if you do repress your urges to the point where you can’t handle them anymore you never chose to have them in the first place.

“Anyone would want to pretend that they didn’t exist. It’s a part of being huma—er…a person.” Infirite’s eyes were guarded and I worried that I had said too much. Arkaia shifted behind me but I didn’t worry about that. He already knew all about this anyway.

“Why are you trying to placate me when you’re the one that needs to be comforted?” He was avoiding the issue and I didn’t think there was anything I could say that wouldn’t make him withdraw even more. I didn’t want him to avoid me.

Keeping my mouth shut I didn’t protest as Arkaia pulled me back against him. Infirite didn’t leave as I was afraid he would but instead moved until his leg was touching mine. They weren’t anything like the family I had lost, before my father went crazy, but they did give me the same sort of feeling.

I wasn’t alone.

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Author’s Note: I really hate college and finals week… (Happy, Jess? I finally posted the next chapter. And why is it that you, my friends, never post a review??)

BlackSheepProduction: Thanks for the review!