In the Heat of the Moment

10

He looked a lot like the victim sitting there on the chair at the table in that little room; feet tapping soundlessly, nervously, as he kept running his pale fingers through disheveled dark ringlets which partly hid his face. His head hung low, weighted with some unknown burden, a shameful thing that he had not been able to reveal to the officers because of language barriers; but once he raised his head, and the red haired detective got a glimpse of that androgynous face - those slightly slanted dark eyes, gentle nose and luscious mouth, he had absolutely no doubt they were identical twins.

He had not gotten a chance to see him when he arrived or in those grueling hours of interrogation, but watching him now was like watching those pictures on the evidence board come alive – like watching him up close and live on the TV, or YouTube or whatever kids had these days. Those dried tears only made him look like a distressed unearthly being, like one of those angels he used to see when he was small, painted on stained glass like mosaics when his mother was alive and took him to Cathedrals. Or maybe, just maybe something like what you would see in the renaissance paintings of old. No, he looked too young and delicate to be compared to that, like once of those small antique porcelain dolls that his sister collected. He was beautiful, and he could not for a moment manage to tear his eyes off him. The red haired detective almost pinched himself. His wife and little girl were waiting at home for him for Christsakes! What would Jeannine say if she saw him right now? Plus he wasn’t a queer…There was no way on God’s green earth that he was a queer…

It was beauty like that you only heard of in poems and myths. It was that kind of beauty that drove men mad with desire, and intense stark raving madness that started wars and made them do dangerous unpredictable things.

He had seen their father, who, although he was extraordinarily handsome man was a mere drop of water in an ocean compared to this beauty. His mother must have been a real looker then…

The red haired detective closed his eyes, silently praying for his dick to go down. It was impossibly hard, pressing, sometimes rubbing pleasurably against the front of his pants and already draining precum…The things he thought of doing to that…kid…His face was sweating even though the time was cool. Oh God…this is the last thing I need right now, he thought, grateful that a desk was covering his raging erection. He clenched his fist, fearful that he would soon spray like an overly eager teenager. Even now he still does not know how he managed to talk to his partner.

Detective Jackson walked up to the two way mirror and plopped himself into a seat.

“Yeah,” whispered Jackson. “I know exactly what you’re thinking. Me and a couple others on the squad been there too when he walked in. Fucking amazing, isn’t he?”

“Wh-What?” stammered the red head mortified.

“Just think about something disgusting and it will go away, like the captain in a thong.”

Jackson grinned and the red head chuckled.

“I just heard the kid’s father might be coming today,” said Jackson. The red haired detective’s brow creased.

“Well, it’s about time. Almost three days and the father won’t turn up. Too fuckin busy’s what he says. Don’t give a shit that his kid’s missing, probably even dead by now,” continued Jackson.

“You really think Espen might be dead? No one knows where that guy took him, or if he even took him at all…”

“Dunno, could be…If he isn’t we’ve got to get to him fast.”

“What about the kid’s brother?”

“What about him?”

“You think he had something to do with it? I mean he was missing the whole day then turned up at the station yesterday. Don’t that seem weird to you?”

“Yeah, it does; but hey, what to do until that fuckin translator shows up” Jackson said irritated. “Cap’n said she ain’t gonna be here till a few hours later. Want to try with him? He seems to have calmed down a bit.”





The twin raised his head a little as the man entered into the room. It was a movement so slow and so little; the man almost imagined he had seen him move at all. He knew his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him since the boy’s head wasn’t always tilted that far upward. The redhead realised to his dismay he still couldn’t see his face – those dark innocent eyes rimmed with long thick lashes, gentle nose and luscious mouth that he had glimpsed while sat watching him on the opposite side of the two way mirror – that tear stained face…

At least now he’s quiet, he thought with a shudder. He heard from one of the officers that when he first came in, he was a shrieking, babbling mess, raving in a blur of a language that nobody knew, with broken incoherent English words woven in; but now he sat there silent and unmoving, like a corpse leaned up in the chair. Such a beautiful corpse too, thought the red head and he pinched himself to get back to reality. He looked on the clock. It said 11:43. It was 11:32 when he first entered the room. Had he really wasted eleven minutes staring at this kid?

It was when his gaze shifter back to the twin that he realised that the kid was staring at his shirt, or more like a small square something in his shirt pocket. It was the bar of chocolate he had bought to have as a snack and absentmindedly stuck in his shirt pocket. He was grateful that it didn’t melt. The decrease in temperature that had come with the week’s torrents of rain had kept it hard.

“You like chocolate?” he asked softly, making a mental note to get him medical attention as soon as they were done.

The boy remained still, and quiet, frighteningly so as the red haired detective awaited a response. The dark green hooded sweater that he wore was too big on him, and his every ounce of creamy flesh from his sight…The redhead wondered how his mind had managed to drift to that dark place again while the twin sat broken in front of him.

The response came small and pitiful, like the distant cry of a dying animal hidden in the thickness of a woodland.

“Yes.”

It was with no small amount of surprise that the redhead detective looked at Espen’s twin, as a major part of him figured he was too much in shock to respond anyway. He was caught off guard by a rush of pity that swelled his heart and the incredible urge to embrace the fallen creature and solve the case quickly so he couldn’t hurt anymore. It was then that it suddenly became personal, the minute he realised that he was nearly speechless and couldn’t take his eyes off the angel who sat before him.

“W-Would you like a piece?”

He had no idea what to ask. His mind had most conveniently gone blank, and his palms sweaty. He had been doing this for nearly three years, and never flinched even once with the most dangerous and terrifying characters. So why did this decide to happen now? He almost had to strain to hear what came from the mouth of the ‘corpse’ which was leaned up in the chair in front of him, but never once had he thought to call Jackson. Come to think of it, where the fuck was he now anyway?

“He blames me, doesn’t he?” the twin asked softly. His words were wrapped in a European accent that he automatically assumed was Norwegian. Espen was from Norway, wasn’t he?

“What?” asked the red haired detective looking puzzled.

“Adam Ladlow, Espen’s fiancé,” he replied.

“Why do you think so?” asked the redhead.

“Because I let him fuck me and killed their relationship…maybe even him…If I didn’t do that none of this would have happened.”

The twin’s voice was flat and devoid of emotion. The red haired detective resisted the urge to start cracking his knuckles. The twin raised his head a little and the detective had a glimpse of pale lips hidden for the most part behind that curtain of long dark ringlets.

“When we were little, Espen always more attention, whether it was from strangers, teachers, peers – anyone who crossed his path or just heard about him.” For the first time since he started watching him the red haired detective saw the twin shift in his seat. Bad memories perhaps?

“He was good at everything and I’m dead serious about that. It was because of that why our dad used to show him constantly to everyone, while I’d be alone and ignored. We were complete opposites, me and him…I was the failure and he was the genius prodigy…I used to wish something terrible would happen to him too, but then I’d feel so guilty right after because we’re twins you know, and whatever hurts him, hurts me too…”

The twin sighed. He looked at the detective with an unreadable expression on his face. It was then that the redhead was able to see the big gash on the boy’s forehead and the dried blood on his temples and in his hair. The redhead frowned.

“I don’t think many people even knew I existed…By the time we were in secondary school I could no longer ignore how I felt and I tried to do something about it thinking that at least dad would finally notice me you know…Can…Can I have a piece of that chocolate now?”

The question, like the first time the boy responded caught the detective off guard; and all of a sudden he began to wonder if the kid, Espen’s twin really was mentally fit enough to be interrogated. It was obvious he had been through a lot, and the captain should have at least ensured that he got to a hospital as soon as he got here, or even gotten him looked at.

The redhead grunted a yes, took the chocolate out of his shirt pocket and broke off a generous piece to give to the being seated at the other side of the table in front of him. He suddenly had the craziest idea. What if Espen’s twin had gone crazy after all those years and made those plans to get rid of him? Of course not, he thought. He wasn’t capable of that, was he? Did Espen’s twin have it in him to arrange a sociopath to fixate on and get rid of his brother? Of course not, he thought. He and his partner read that journal over twenty times. There was no mention that Espen’s twin had a part in the planning at all.

Espen’s twin cleared his throat and the detective was brought back to reality. The twin leaned over to take his piece of chocolate right out of his hands. The small moment of closeness made the redhead shiver in delight and wish his hand had accidentally touched him.

Espen’s brother seated himself again in his chair holding the chocolate in his hand, twisting it, looking at it with all the intent and fascination of a biologist who had just discovered a new species. Again, the boy began.

“I started stealing things from him. Little things first, that I didn’t think he would notice, then afterwards larger things – his identity, grades, boyfriends, friends…I even slept with some of his teachers so they could fail him in return, though a few ended up taking advantage of the situation and not holding up their end of the deal…”

He bit into his chocolate.

“I’ve done so many bad things to my twin brother, so much worse than what I have told you; but you know what? Ironically, the worst thing I’ve ever did was by accident.”

The kid wrapped the remainder of his chocolate up in the wrapper and sighed.

“We made up two months before the big concert in America; and Mikkel, the drummer thought it would be a good idea for them to get there well in advance so they could check out the scenes. They all agreed and Espen told me he wanted us to use the time to catch up also, so I should come with them…So I went…I stayed with them in that mansion they had there for one and a half months but Espen and I still barely had the time to catch up. That again was my fault.”

The twin ran a hand through his disheveled dark ringlets.

“I met an American man the first week, who made me all sorts of shitty promises, and declarations of love to me.”

The twin laughed bitterly.

“My nights were spent with him in clubs and bars getting drunk and high, and then when I passed out he’d make all these men fuck me…I’d be so wasted in the morning! I’d wake up alone in the back of alleys, in the streets, in the bushes somewhere…One time I even woke up in this guy’s basement and he refused to let me out until two days passed…Why I stayed with that man, I have no idea…Maybe I finally got the attention I wanted.”

The redhead frowned.


“My boyfriend broke up with me one night, because he said I was too… loose, and so I went a bar and tried to drink myself to death. I still remember how I felt. I had disappointed Espen again; and had been used and thrown away by a man…I was extremely drunk when Adam came in later…I vaguely remember him seeing me, telling me that he and Espen had a big fight and he had come here to cool off …him pouring out his heart to me. I poured out my heart to him too. Told him things I had never told anyone in my entire life, told him about the abusive boyfriend I had who used and left me. We both drank and drank till most of the night became a blur. I remember when we got back Espen wasn’t there…”

The twin sobbed and embraced himself tightly.

“We fucked and someone filmed the whole thing...That’s the reason why I said I’m responsible for everything. If someone hadn’t sent Espen those videos on his phone he wouldn’t have walked right into that trap, and I wouldn’t have seen my older brother get raped…”




Sorry for this late and terrible chapter. I’m so busy and exhausted. Hopefully the next one is better. Thanks for all the great reviews!