The NEW Elemental Super Heroes!

Elemental Super Heroes, the Musical!

(No own these good songs, from Gene Kelly, Weird Al… and all those others…))

Earth was dancing and singing, at the laundry mat, doing his clothing… to the tune of ‘God bless America’ “God, bless my underwear My only pair. Stand beside them, And guide them, As they sit in a heap by the chair. From the washer, To the clothesline To my dresser drawer, To my rear! God, bless my underwear, My only pair. God, bless my underwear, Or I'll be bare.”

Some random little girl looked over at Earth with a sad shake of her head. She just walked off.

Earth jumped onto the bus, with his load of laundry, all clean and dry… and began to sing… again. “The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, the wheels on the bus go round and round, all over town… The driver on the bus says ‘Move on back, move on back, move on back…’ the driver on the bus says…”

The bus driver slammed on the breaks and threw Earth from the bus.

Later that day, Earth was taking the trash out of his apartment… and singing, “It's rotten
So rotten here
So rotten
Oh
It was like, the last day before trash day
My place was gettin' kinda nas-tay
Even though the garbage I knew would reek
(You know)
Thought that I could leave it for one more week
Then, um, I'm takin'
Birthday cake 'n'
(Oh) Chili and greasy old bacon
Throw it all on top of the mess I been makin'
Wife's so mad, she starts to shakin'
Leaky bag, 'n' now that girl is gaggin'
She's naggin'
"I need you to get that stuff off the kitchen floor"
"Is that too much to ask you for?"
But I see no reason why
Can't let a few more weeks go by
And now garbage is piled high
And buddy, you should see the flies
I said ...
There's somethin' rotten here (say what?
You better hold your nose, oh (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Oh, boy there's a lot in here (a lot)
And every day it grows (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
Look at all this garbage I keep generatin'
(Come on) I sit around all day and watch it biodegradin'
Bet there's a hundred health codes that I'm violatin'
Even my dog passed out and needed resuscitatin'
You won't believe it, take a whiff of that aroma
Sure to put you in a coma
It's so messy, can't find my toenail clippers
It so bad the roaches wearin' slippers
Warm, sweaty clothes piled up in this joint
Stand up by themselves at this point
It's so filthy, now baby, I can't lie
I wipe my feet before I go outside
I wonder what crawled in there and died
(You know) Walkin' 'round barefoot, I'd be terrified
But it gives me stuff to talk about with my friends
Like, "Hey, I think them rats gettin' big!"
Oh
There's somethin' rotten here (say what?)
You better hold your nose, oh (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Oh, look what we got in here (now what?)
Let's watch it decompose (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
With a little bit a ***, and a little bit a ***
Make me wanna throw up
It makes ya wanna ***, just makes ya wanna ***
Oh
Some Lysol, some Comet
I got a mop and it's got your name on it
(What?) I'm just kiddin', doggone it
(Oh) Unless you gonna do it
Careful not to breathe the fumes
Check it,
Garbage piles are goin' all the way to the bathroom
Turn into toxic waste sometime this afternoon
Better get a Hazmat suit and a push broom
Oh
There's somethin' rotten here (say what?)
You better hold your nose, oh (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Oh, it's gone to pot in here (to pot)
Bring out the firehose (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
With a little bit a ***, and a little bit a ***
Make me wanna throw up
Give a little bit a ***, and a tiny bit a ***
Make ya wanna throw up
Mix a little bit a *** with a molecule a ***
Make me wanna throw up
It makes me wanna *** (aw, eww), just makes me wanna ***
[spit]
Oh


Ice shook her head and growled, “He’s insane!”

Earth continues to dance and sing, even as making lunch…

“Oooh, my little hungry one,
Hungry one.
Open up a package of my bologna.
Oooh, I think the toast is done,
The toast is done.
Top it with a little of my bologna
Never gonna stop,
Eat it up.
Such a tasty snack,
I always eat too much,
And throw up.
But I'll soon be back
For my my my yi yi wooo!
M-M-M-My bologna.”
Spreadin' on the mustard now,
A-show me how.
Spread it on a little of this bologna.
Hopin' that we don't run out,
Don't run out.
If we do, I'm sure that I'll miss bologna.
Never gonna stop,
Eat it up.
Such a tasty snack,
I always eat too much,
And throw up.
But I'll soon be back
For my my my yi yi wooo!
M-M-M-My bologna.”
Goin' to the market now,
Market now.
I'm the city's biggest bologna buyer.
Walkin' down the shopping aisles,
Shopping aisles.
Fillin' up my basket with Oscar Mayer.
Never gonna stop,
Eat it up.
Such a tasty snack,
I always eat too much,
And throw up.
But I'll soon be back
For my my my yi yi wooo!
M-M-M-My bologna.”


And while even making ice cream for dessert!
“I hear those ice cream bells and I start to drool,
Keep a couple quarts in my locker at school
Yeah, but chocolate's gettin' old,
And vanilla just leaves me cold,
There's just one flavor good enough for me, yeah me,
Don't gimme no crummy taste spoon, I know what I need, baby
I love rocky road,
So won't you go and buy a half gallon baby
I love rocky road,
So have another triple scoop with me, OW!”

By this time, even Flame was staring to get irritated by him. Boy, he was not stopping…. And everyone heard him. “Why the hell is he singing?” Sephy Sama, now on the right side of the group, was playing cards with Flame, he just shrugs.

In the shower?

”Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
Just singin',
Singin' in the rain

Dancin' in the rain
Dee-ah dee-ah dee-ah
Dee-ah dee-ah dee-ah
I'm happy again!
I'm singin' and dancin' in the rain!

I'm dancin' and singin' in the rain... “

Ice was getting irritated now.

Shopping?

“mmmm Food it puts me in a good mood it keeps me goin'
When under strains ain't nothin worse than hunger pains
Right there. start with light fair if need be snacks with an x
whatever just feed me some food

Food it puts me in a good mood it keeps me goin'
When under strains ain't nothin worse than hunger pains
Right there. start with light fair if need be snacks with an x
whatever just feed me,


i'm hungry and i'm itchin to get in the kitchen
so let me consider what's in the refrigerator
for some ingredients needed good eggs wheat and flour”

Earth sets a dozen eggs, wheat bread and five pounds of flour on the belt…

”for something salty or maybe sweet and sour
let me fill my dishes with delicious fish and brown rice

He sets a whole frozen trout, a few boxes of fish sticks and a box of instant brown rice on the conveyor.

”sounds nice but i can't argue with barbecue
unforgettable edibles fresh fruits and vegetable
a tomato tornado a plate of mashed potatoes”

Earth put up a few 10 pound bags of potatoes… piles of bananas, apples, tomatoes and plenty of grapes, for a latter date.

”i'm droolin for tabooli salad lentils and chick peas
i'm ready for spaghetti and cold cuts with brick cheese
i can't say no to risotto i'm lost in dreams of deserts like”

Earth piles up spaghetti and cheese and ham and turkey… a few bags of risotto.

”pumpkin pies and boston creams. i gobble a peach cobbler after i eat
lobster alone with a couple of pieces of cheese pizza, maybe
i can manage to do some damage to a sandwich, marshmallows
peanut butter and bananas and a big plate of gnocci from lucky”

Earth piles up three or four frozen pies, a peach cobbler, a few rather violated looking fresh lobsters… a few bags of marshmallows, six jars of peanut butter… more loaves of bread.

”with pita bread. feed me a fajita or else a burrito 'stead i'll tell you
'bout the merits of carrots my knowledge of scallops and my advice
on fried rice. for the right price you can begin to dig in to more than balogna and finish your bowl of”

Frozen Burritos, bags of frozen carrots…

“ minestrone, please make cheese cake everybody wants a lot of avocado, and a chicken or gelatto watch me wolf down a full pound minimum of chocolate cookies and rice pudding with cinnamon. i'm starving for fried calimari with seaweed trying to save room for strawberries and kiwi's to satisfy it'll take more than a little plate of french fries, falafes, waffels and griddle cakes. all this might be enough but i'm doubtful, so i'm gonna savour the flavour of every mouthful of”

Jars of Minestrone soup, a few cheese cakes… fresh avocados, frozen chickens, Ice cream… bags and bags and bags and bags of chocolate chip cookies… fresh strawberries, kiwis and bags of frozen French fries… about twenty boxes of frozen waffles…

”Food, it puts me in a good mood it keeps me going, when under strains ain't nothing worse than hunger pains right there start with light fair if need be snacks with an x, whatever just feed me some food…
Whatever… just give me some food!” He sand as he put up the foods he were singing about on the conveyor belt. The poor guy standing there bagging his food just shook his head, and the poor cashier read off the total, “Four hundred and thirty two dollars and eighty two cents please. Cash, check or credit?”

“Credit.” Earth handed over a familiar looking credit card.

Watching evening T.V.?

“I can't watch this. I can't watch this
I can't watch this. I can't watch this

My my my my TV makes me so bored
Makes me say oh my Lord
What is this garbage here?
Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears
It sucks, and that's no lie
It's about as much fun as watching paint dry
Lowers my IQ one notch
And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch

I told you homeboy...I can't watch this
Yeah, nothin' but trash and you know
I can't watch this
Poke out my eyes, man...I can't watch this
Yo, gimme that remote control...I can't watch this

Talkin' bout sick shows
There's America's Funniest Home Videos
I can't believe my eyes
When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize
Somebody's poor old mom
Falls down off the roof, lands right on the lawn
Face first on a rake
I hear they got it on the seventeenth take
That's funny as a kick in the crotch
And that kinda show, uh, I can't watch

Yo, I told you...I can't watch this
Change the channel now, man...I can't watch this
Yo, pass the TV Guide over here, sucker...I can't watch this

Cosby show and Roseanne
Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can
Judge Wopner, oh my
You gotta be Rainman to like this guy
Thirtysomething's all right
If you like hearing yuppies whining all night
Can't stand Twin Peaks
Wish they'd lynch those donut-eatin' freaks
Those Siskel and Ebert bums
Oughtta go home and just sit on their thumbs

That's word because you now...I can't watch this
I can't watch this
Break it down!

Here's how to order-money back guarantee-
Removes tough stains fast-it tastes more like fresh peanuts-
They keep going and going-don't hate me because I'm beautiful-
Could be dandruff-our prices are insaaaane!!!

Stop! Prime time!
I'm pretty sure I'll be sick
If I have to watch another stupid pet trick
Or that guy with the real flat hair
That goes "woof woof woof" and waves
His fist in the air
Or those weird talk shows
About transsexual Nazi Eskimos
They're rude, and crude and vile
Just for a minute let's flip down the dial

Flip, flip, flip...yecch, I can't watch this
Look, man, I can't watch this
I can't take this torture no more, I can't
I can't watch this
Pay the bills, station break
Break it down!

Operators are standing by-cubic zirconium necklace-
You're soaking in it-and our fabulous swimsuit issue-
When you've got a headache this big-read the book-
this is your brain on drugs-I've fallen and I can't get up!!!

Stop! Cable time!
HBO and Playboy, Showtime and MTV
I might like them more after my lobotomy
Now why did I ever pay for this junk?
I hooked up eighty channels, and each one stunk
Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless T & A
It's awful, it's putrid, it's crummy, it's stupid, gonna
Throw my set away

I can't watch this, I can't watch this
I can't watch this, yeah...I can't watch this
I told you...can't watch this
Too hip, can't watch this
Get me outta here...can't watch this”

Flame growled, “It’s almost to the point where it’s annoying.”

“Tell me about it.” Ice shook her head.

And they went out to dinner, Ice, Flame, Earth and Wind…

“How come you're always such a fussy young man,
Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran,
Well don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan,
So eat it, just eat it.

Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate
Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate.
You won't get no desert till you clean off your plate.
So eat it.

Don't tell me you're full

Just eat it, eat it,
Get yourself an egg and beat it.
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's broiled or fried
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it,
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it.

Your table manners are a crying shame
Your playin' with your food, this ain't some kind of game.
Now if you starve to death you'll just have yourself to blame.
So eat it, just eat it.

You better listen, better do what you're told,
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole,
You better chow down or it's gonna get cold,
So eat it.

I don't care if you're full

Just eat it, eat it.
Open up your mouth and feed it.
Have some more yogurt, have some more Span,
It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned
Just eat it, eat it
Don't you make me repeat it.

Have a banana, have a whole bunch,
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it,
eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it.

Just eat it, eat it,
If it's getting cold reheat it
Have a big dinner, have a light snack,
If you don't like it you can't send it back.

Just eat it, eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it.
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's broiled or fried
Just eat it, eat it,
Don't you make me repeat it.”

Earth looked around the table at the three that were ready to snap.
He jumps up and takes off, followed by three very pissed off people.

“EARTH!” Flame took off after him, Ice and Wind following her.

“Get back here!” Flame shook her head.

Earth, of course, broke into song…
“Bad boys, bad boys… whatcha gonna do…
Whatcha gonna do when they come for yoooooooou”

He was thusly tackled by three other Elementals…

***


Later in a duct taped chair, a gag in his lips.

“Mmmmmmmm! Dish is-shnt… funnesh.” He mumbled.

“No more singing!” Ice was watching him, arms crossed.

“Yoush guysh casn’sh takesh um joookee…” Earth tried to fight, but it was stuck. He was mad….

“No more singing.” Ice shook her head. “Maybe in the next chapter.”

(Now now, we all know that you were just borrowing him in good fun, and we know that you weren’t going to keep him Sephy Sama! You are just too nice for that. Besides, Flame says that…

Ice would freeze you.
Flame would burn you.
Storm would cause a lot of rain…
Earth would rock your world… (sounds kinky!)

Earth: Oi!

And that Wind would blow you away…

Wind: I am not gay…

That the Oompa would do the dance on your grave. We were just teasing you!
Keep up reviewing! Oh, and click on my name, I have two OTHER ESH stories that you might like Sephy Sama! And everyone))