By Chance

Their relationship was in a lull. A happy place smooth state and each was content to have it stay as such.

“You working today?”

“Yep. I got an early shift, because one of the girls called in sick.”

“Cool. I think I might be in early. You wanna do something tonight.”

Rue’s eyes widen in surprise. She decoded Joe-speak to understand what Joe Vic was finally saying. Asking her out on a date was surprisingly sweet. Her arms slipped over his shoulders from behind and she gave him a hug.

“Thanks. That’s so sweet, cher. But, I got an appointment with a shrink da day.”

“A shrink, for what?” His face scrunched up and he dipped his head back to see her.

“You know. I gotta go through therapy ‘fore I can have my surgery. I been seeing the doc off and on since I got here, but now I’m pretty steady.”

“So, that means you’re closer to doing it?”

“Yes, sirree!” She squealed with delight.

“Uh?” He said quietly. Joe Vic hadn’t shared all his doubts with Rue over the surgery and now seemed as best a time as any to finally speak his mind. “I don’t think you should get the surgery.”

She laughed hard and steadily. Her laughter moved into the fringes of hysterical chuckles to mild gilds and finally trickling guffaws. “You cain’t be serious.” She watched his face. “ You aren’t serious, are you?!”

Rue leapt from the bed to face Joe Vic. He eyed her with a deeply calm disposition. “I’m serious. I really don’t think surgery is the answer. You’re fine as you are.”

“No.” She shook her head furiously. “No. No. NO!” Rue pointed at Joe Vic, fury blazed in her eyes. “How dare you say that to me!” Rue paced nervously as her body twitched with immense anger.

“Baby, calm down. Seriously, hear me out…I feel as though you are beautiful as you are. Fuck, twenty five thousand dollars?! Are fucking kidding me? Come on!” Joe Vic found his voice elevated as well. “Rue, you don’t need anything. You’ve already done so much…and trust me, you don’t need to get butchered by some hack, because someone tells you are ready to be hacked to pieces.”

Rue’s jaw jogged up and down. Outrage coursed through her and she had no words for Joe Vic. None. Besides her mighty anger, Rue felt her heart breaking. “Fuck you, Joe Vic. Fuck you. I’m sick of being a freak. Of being afraid that someone is going to know that I. Am. Not. Real. I’m sick of being afraid and hating my body. I thought you understood, Joe Vic? I thought you understood?”

Joe Vic rose in an attempt to soothe Rue’s hurt feelings. “I do understand—I just find it so unnecessary.” She jerked away from him. Tears pouring from her eyes as she whirled away from him.

“See, you don’t understand! I’ve lost my goddamn family and I’ve been beaten up by too many fucking bastards to not go through with this!” She screeched. “What would happen if your friends down at the garage found out, huh? They’d call you a ‘fag’ and me a ‘freak’. ”

Joe Vice shook his head. The argument was getting out of hand and his anger was barely being held in check. “It’s not like that!”

“Yes, it is.” Rue hissed.

His eyes nearly closed to slits. “Listen to me. You are not going to do this. You hear me. I’m not going to let you allow someone to cut you to pieces.”

Rue pushed him hard. Joe Vic stumbled due to the sudden force. He surged forward grabbing Rue by the wrists, pushing her against the wall. “No.” He ground out between clenched teeth.

“You aren’t the boss of me and you can’t keep me from doing this. I. Say. Yes.” She volleyed with a hiss. She jerked back as Joe Vic drew his fist back suddenly. Her whine of fear stopped his hand in mid-air.

His pulse thundered and his anger began to recede. He looked at the hand he held between them. Suddenly, he was ashamed and disappointed that he had lost control. “I’m sorry.” He released Rue, who only crumpled to the floor. His words of apology continued to pour out, but Joe Vic knew he wasn’t reaching Rue through her haze of tears.

Joe Vic backed out of his bedroom. The urge to flee was ever present. He needed to runaway. Things were too serious. He grabbed his jacket and slammed the door. Knowing that he could have hurt her, disgusted him in a way that he couldn’t describe.

Rue heard the front door slam and only cried harder. Why didn’t he understand? For all the things that they had each experienced in their short lives, why didn’t he understand her desire to finally be rid of her demons?

She huddled, despondent and broken. Heavy tears cascaded from her eyes as her mind rewound every discouraging word from Joe Vic’s mouth and finally, the sight of Joe Vic’s clenched fist hovering inches away from her face. Was it all a lie, she wondered. All the quiet words Joe Vic shared with her throughout the romantic phase of their relationship seemed almost absurd at this point.

Her eyes were hurting from the constant outpouring of pain. Rue crouched in silence, waiting for her breathing to even out and her pulse to relax. Maybe Joe Vic had the right idea by leaving. Rue gathered herself and left the bedroom. She moved slowly through the apartment until she reached her seldom used bedroom. Clothes were gathered quickly and Rue slipped into the shower.

She looked at herself. In her head she heard the taunts. Sometimes, she had nightmares were Joe Vic’s voice was the only one keeping her sane. The bottom of her stomach sank heavily. She’d been wrong again.

Rue tugged on a pair of jeans, a bra and a t-shirt along with her jean jacket and sunglasses. She snatched bag from the couch. She trudged to the door, throwing it open with recklessness.

For the second time that day her stomach dropped. This time it slammed through the floor faster than rocket sledge straight to hell. Hidden eyes darted between the two men standing before the door. One of the men could easily finish the job in shattering her, while the other would definitely destroy her in no uncertain terms.

“Oh God, Quentin.” The struggle for breath had never been so strong.

“Don’t forget about me, babe. Longtime, no see, huh?” The other man purred.

Rue stared at the men before her. One was her brother and the other one was her faux ex-boyfriend and pimp, Rick Shade. Once again, she cursed Joe Vic for not being there for her.