More than Anyone

It was still dark when the brisk knocking upon her door awakened her. Olivia’s first instinct was to ignore it. It was barely four-thirty in the morning and she was on vacation. She was not about to be stirred from slumber but the person knocking had other ideas. The knocking grew more anxious and demanding and it dawned on Olivia that she would not be able to ignore it.



With a groan, she pulled back the curtains around the bed and leaving the warmth of the feather comforter, she shuffled to the door, her eyes not even being able to fully open yet. Opening the door, she was not surprised to find Ben standing on the other side. She was however shocked to find him fully dressed. Just by vacationing with him, she knew well enough that Ben could never be considered a morning person. And looking him up and down, she suddenly became quite aware of what she must have looked like. Her hair was probably wild and untamed and since she liked to be as comfortable as possible while she slept, she realized that she was only wearing tiny white panties and a tight black camisole. Ben though seemed to be rather pleased with what she was wearing and smiled accordingly. It was far too early in the morning to have him look at her like that and her brain didn’t even register that it was Ben Norfolk that was staring at her as if she was a piece of meat and he hadn’t eaten in days.



“Unless your castle is under attack, I want to go back to sleep,” she yawned.



Ben grinned. “I canna let you do that. We have to get an early start if I’m going to take you exploring today.”



Her ears perked up at that. “Exploring?” She mustered as much eagerness as she could at such an early hour.



“I planned on taking you sightseeing today and there’s a lot to see so go and get dressed.” He smiled but as he stared at her, it faded into a worried frown. “Unless you’d rather not spend the day with me.” Perhaps she was still upset with him for his behavior the day before. She had refused a tour of the gardens that he had offered and had gone straight up to her room after ignoring him and barely meeting his eyes all throughout dinner.



She smiled tiredly, resting her head against the door. “Oh, no. That sounds wonderful.”



He smiled, pleased. She was no longer angry with him and he felt his heart soar just a bit higher within his chest. She looked positively adorable that morning, leaning against the door for support in fear that she would fall over and resume sleeping on the floor. Her hair was mussed up and he had the strangest urge to run his fingers through it and find whether or not it was as soft as it appeared to be. He had noticed her hair more than he ever had before since they landed. Perhaps it was the constant moistness from the rain or it could have been the sea air but whatever it could be, it left her hair in wild waves that he was quickly being taken by. During their first full day in London, she had pulled it back in a ponytail and had scolded him when he reached behind her and pulled the rubber band out, freeing her hair to the wind. She had acted peeved but she had left it hanging down after that. He liked to think that it was the smallest kind gesture directed at him.



“Here.” He held out a soft gray cotton sweater. Olivia looked down at it but did not make a move to take it. He extended it further. “I told my mother of our plans today and she said that you might be cold.”



“I haven’t been cold yet,” Olivia said softly, looking at him.



He had watched her constantly over the past few days and had seen her shiver plenty. But apparently to Olivia, being cold and not complaining about being cold were different. She had been cold but because she hadn’t complained once, it was as if the cold did not exist.



He smiled wryly. “Take it. You’ll feel the cold up here in the highlands.” He pushed the sweater into her hand then began to walk away. He stopped a bit down the hallway though and turned around to look at her. “And wear your shoes. You would be better off being barefoot if you wear those flip-flops instead. Hurry. We have fifteen minutes.”



Olivia watched him go, disappearing up another flight of the circular staircase that led to the third floor where his room was. She was wide awake now and she didn’t know if it was from the anticipation she now felt for the dawning day or seeing him so early and having him stand so close to her. He smelled of wood and soap- very manly smells that left her head reeling. It was far too early in the morning for such an attack of senses. She shook her head slightly then stepping back into the bedroom, closed the door behind her, staring at the sweater. It was one of the softest sweaters she had ever felt. Flipping on the small lamp on the table beside the bed, she looked at the tag and rolled her eyes. Only Ben would give her a cashmere sweater to go traipsing around the Scottish countryside in. She would wear it though nonetheless. She didn’t want to insult Mrs. Norfolk by refusing such a thoughtful gesture. If Mrs. Norfolk wanted her to be warm and thought she could accomplish such a thing by wearing a cashmere sweater that probably cost more than one of Olivia’s paychecks, she wouldn’t dare argue.



She went into the bathroom and quickly scrubbed her face and brushed her teeth. Her hair was a lost cause and she really had no idea why it was. It had been so controlled in Chicago. Here was an entirely different manner though. Perhaps it was the constant exposure to the moisture in the air from the rain. That must be it. She sighed and quickly ran her fingers through the tangles, smoothing it as best as she could to no avail. The wild waves remained, quite stubbornly. Sighing with defeat, she went into the bedroom to quickly get dressed. She wondered what Ben had planned but she didn’t want to think about it too much. She wanted to be surprised.



Ben was waiting for her in the hallway in blue jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. His hair had begun to grow back but the night before, he had Ensley shave it again down to his scalp. She had the urge to scratch his head for no apparent reason. She wondered what he would do to her if she tried. He looked at her and smiled with approval at her outfit. She wore the running shoes on her feet per his instructions along with the gray sweater over a white tee-shirt. Completing it was her ever trusty yellow raincoat and a purple skirt. He wondered how many of those mini-prairie skirts she had. She seemed to have one in every color. He loved them but that didn’t mean he wanted her wearing them where everyone else could love them as well.



“Okay?” She asked, having no idea what he had planned, and he nodded his head. “Good. So what are we going to do today?”



“First, we’re going to be quiet so we don’t wake anyone else up,” he said, putting a finger to his lips as they began walking down the hallway towards the stairs. “And then, we’re going to get something to eat and then,” he grinned at her before letting her go down the staircase first. It was too narrow to walk side by side. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”



After they ate cold cereal and hot coffee though Olivia never drank the stuff and Ben had sifted through the cabinets until he had successfully located a box of hot chocolate, he took her hand and pulled her outside through the back door in the kitchen. It was still dark, so dark out in the countryside, it nearly swallowed her, suffocating her, and the fog was hanging a few inches above the ground. It was eerily quiet outside and Olivia stared out over the darkness of the land as Ben led her to a building in the back located a few yards away from the house.



“Oh no,” she said immediately upon stepping inside of the stables. “Ben, I can’t ride.”



“I know,” he said and she could hear his smile in the dark. “We’ll share a horse and I’ll teach you that way.”



“I don’t want to learn though,” she insisted almost desperately on the edge of frantic. “I’d rather just walk anyway. Couldn’t we just walk?”



He snickered, flipping on a lantern sitting on a few bales of hay. He opened the door to one of the stables and she heard the hooves of the horses dig into the floor and a quiet neigh every few moments. Her stomach was already in knots. “Walking is definitely out of the question considering where we’re going. Don’t worry, Livi. Dubhshìth can be trusted.” Ben finished saddling the horse then led the massive black beast from his stable.



Olivia immediately took a step back. “What’s his name?”



“Dubhshìth,” Ben repeated. “It’s Gaelic. It’s pronounced DOOW-hee and it means black one of peace.” He rubbed the horse’s neck soothingly. “He’s the friendliest of my steeds. Trust me.”



She still looked doubtful as the horse stared at her with his black doll eyes. He was massive and how Ben could ever associate him with friendly was beyond her. She listened as he murmured something in Gaelic. “What did you tell him?” She asked.



Ben smiled. “You’re tense and he can feel it, making him nervous. I told him that you’re no witch or Faery. I told him that you’re just afraid.”



“I am NOT afraid,” Olivia said firmly though the rest of her body shook.



“Come on,” Ben said firmly. He went to her and grabbed her hand, pulling on her as she dug her heels into the hay-covered floor. “You’ll make us miss my surprise for you.”



“I’d rather not have it if it means having to actually ride this... this thing!” She exclaimed. She shrank back when Dubhshìth dug at the ground with one of his hooves, neighing and shaking his head fiercely.



Ben stared at her sternly, putting his hands on either side of her neck. The action not only stunned her but it made her completely immobile as they stared at one another. “Olivia, you need to trust me,” he spoke quietly. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. If you fall, I fall.” Her face paled and he cursed his choice of words. “But you won’t fall. I’m not going to let you.” He paused, daring to take a step towards her. “I’ll keep you safe if you’ll let me.”



She stared at him, unable to say anything. Her throat was dry yet her hands were sweaty. Wetting her lips with her tongue, she found herself nodding her head in consent though. If he wanted her to ride a horse, damn it. She was going to ride a horse though technically he would be the one in control and she would just be clinging to him for dear life. Ben smiled then stepped away, grabbing hold of Dubhshìth’s reins.



“Okay,” he said gently and slowly as if to keep both Olivia and Dubhshìth calm. “Livi, put your foot in the stirrup and pull yourself up.”



“I’m sitting in the front?” She asked, doubt once again rearing its ugly head.



He nodded. “I can hold onto you better that way.”



“Oh,” she said simply before falling silent. She looked at Dubhshìth and he looked at her. Neither moved. Ben had to bite back laughter. They looked like two gunslingers, sizing each other up before the big showdown. But then Olivia cautiously moved. Ben pet Dubhshìth’s neck as Olivia, her face stern with determination now, put her foot in the stirrup and swung herself up into the saddle. Her eyes immediately snapped shut and she was breathing heavily as if hyperventilating. “Oh, my God. Oh, my God,” she kept repeating and clutched the saddle so tightly, her knuckles were turning white.



“Good boy,” Ben whispered to the horse before, keeping hold of the reins, swung himself up behind Olivia. His arms snaked around her waist and he held her tightly. Her cold hands were immediately clutching his arms. She still wouldn’t open her eyes though and he couldn’t help but smile. “Olivia, stop digging your knees into his sides. Dubhshìth will likely buck us off if you keep doing it.” She immediately loosened her death grip on the horse but her body was still like a plank of wood in his arms. “We’ll go slow,” he promised, his lips to her ear and he told himself that the shiver that shook her body was from the cold of the morning and not from him. He directed Dubhshìth out of the stables then towards the back of the family property, out towards the highlands.



“I can’t see,” Olivia whispered.



“Couldn’t that be a good thing?” Ben asked, almost teasing. “If you can’t see, maybe you’ll forget that you’re on top of a monstrous horse.”



“Not likely,” she muttered and he laughed. “How can you see where you’re going, Ben?”



“I memorized every inch of this land when I was a boy. I could be blind and still get around as if I could see perfectly.” He squeezed the arm around her waist. “Stop worrying,” he teased.



“Sorry, but I’m from Chicago. Horses aren’t exactly the top mode of transportation.”



He laughed then inhaled the air deeply. “Do you smell that?” She sniffed then nodded her head. “Heather. We’re crossing through an entire field of heather right now.”



“Can we stop?” She asked, clutching his arm. “I’d love to pick some.”



“We’ll stop later. I promise,” he said. “You wouldn’t even be able to see what you’re picking if we stopped right now.” Olivia tightened her hands on his arm when Dubhshìth began climbing upwards. Ben smiled. “There’ll be plenty of heather where we’re going.”



“Ben, where ARE we going?” She asked again. “Because it feels like we’re going up.” She turned her head towards him and he could smell her toothpaste. “But I know you’re smarter than guiding us up to the top of the highlands, practically the mountains, in the dark where we could stumble and crash down to our deaths. Right?”



He smiled, shaking his head slightly. “Remind me to never give you a surprise again.”



“No,” she quickly argued. “No, I like surprises. I just don’t like surprises that involve riding horses through the pitch blackness to the top of the mountains in Scotland.”



“God,” he chuckled. “Well, don’t worry. We’re almost there.” He directed Dubhshìth to where he wanted to take her and the horse was obedient, knowing the land as well as his owner, walking confidently and surely. He stopped when Ben pulled on the reins then dismounted down to the ground. “Okay. Come here,” he said to Olivia, holding his arms up for her. Thankful to be getting off, Olivia slid off the horse’s back into Ben’s awaiting arms. She swayed for a moment at the firm ground underneath her and Ben held her steady, his arms around her waist and her hands gripping his upper arms. “You okay?”



Her eyes closed and she nodded her head, trying to control her breathing. Dubhshìth hadn’t been as bad as she had thought but that didn’t mean that she would start riding a horse everywhere from then on. His body was so strong holding hers, she couldn’t help but lean into him. She had found that he was all firm and muscles when he had carried her up to her apartment on her birthday without even breaking a sweat. Ben remained sturdy, shifting her weight slightly so he could hold her better in his arms.



“You sure you’re okay?” He asked again, concern obvious in his tone.



She nodded again then sighed, lifting her head to look into his eyes. She managed a smile though she saw something in his eyes that only added to her nerves. He was looking down at her as if he had never seen her before but yet he wanted her. He had a look in his eyes that was completely overpowered with desire. It scared her. He wasn’t supposed to look at her like that but she was incapable of stepping away. No one had ever looked at her like that. A man had never locked eyes with her and told her with his stare that if he didn’t have her, he would lose his grip on everything. It sent shivers down her spine and she found herself unable to look away. Why was Ben looking at her like that? He certainly never had before.



She smiled a little. “You must think I’m such a wimp. I can’t fly, can’t ride an unnaturally large horse...”



Ben laughed. The spell was broken and he didn’t even know what it had been. All he knew was that when he had been looking at her, he was suddenly imagining all sorts of things, first and foremost being what her lips and mouth tasted and felt like. These were not normal thoughts to be having and though it should have scared him, it didn’t. Instead, he found himself lifting his hands from her waist and resting them on the back of her head, tangling in her hair. Perhaps there was something in the air that morning. Madelyn always spoke of Highland magic and Ben had grown up listening to tales of faeries and ghosts and such. It was the only reason he could think of for even attempting at explaining why he was suddenly imagining kissing Olivia, just grabbing her, sweeping her into his arms and kissing the breath from her. It was unsettling how natural it all seemed and he couldn’t believe that he was standing there, actually weighing the possibilities of kissing her. What would she do? Would she push him away or completely give into him like she did in his imagination?



“Trust me, Livi,” he smiled. “Wimp isn’t exactly the word that comes to mind when I see you.” Her face melted into a smile that felt like a punch to his stomach. “Come on,” he coughed, trying to appear unshaken by that smile of hers. Never before had a smile earn such a reaction from him before. “I need to get some stuff before your surprise starts.” He stepped past her and went to the bag he had slung on the side of Dubhshìth’s saddle and pulled out a blanket. He spread it on the uneven ground, trying to make it as comfortable for her as possible then plopped down. “Sit down,” he grinned, looking up at her.



Olivia obeyed, surprisingly, and sighed softly. “So, are we enjoying the quietness of the moors this very early morning? Is this my surprise? Quiet?”



“Aye,” Ben said, still grinning. “Shut up.” He watched from the corner of his eye as she sat cross-legged, not caring about wearing a skirt. She figured that since he wasn’t sitting across from her, she was in no danger of exposing herself. He leaned back on his hands and watched as the sky began to turn into the dull gray it did every pre-dawn.



“Ben?” Olivia spoke softly as if the early morning required soft tones.



“Aye?”



“Is Benjamin a Scottish name?” She asked quietly.



He smiled. “No. ‘Twas my dad’s middle name. Patrick Benjamin Norfolk,” he stated.



She plucked a blade of grass, looking at him curiously. “And so you’re Benjamin Patrick Norfolk?” She assumed.



He shook his head, still smiling. “No. Mine has a bit more Gaelic in it. Benjamin Pàdraig, for Patrick, Stiùbhart, for Stewart, Norfolk. My mom’s dad was Stiùbhart.”



Olivia repeated it, trying it out and he nodded his head approvingly. “It’s beautiful.”



Ben laughed. “My name isn’t beautiful. It’s very rugged and manly.”



She laughed along. “No. It’s beautiful.”



“Well, what’s your beautiful name?”



Olivia tilted her head towards him as if she was trying to decipher whether or not he truly was interested or if he was just teasing still. “Olivia Grace Margaret Grange.”



“Beautiful,” he said without hesitation and he cursed the lack of light. He wanted to see her smile, which he could practically hear, and he wanted to see if she was blushing or not at his compliment. But he couldn’t. He could only imagine how she looked at that moment.



The sun rose slowly and as the sky gained more light, Ben watched her. She gasped at the sheer beauty of the sun rising over the moors, the low fog disappearing and the dew glistening on the ground. She smiled as she saw the purple heather that surrounded them and she gained enough courage to look below them from their perch on top of the moor. She found that he had not been lying. They were surrounded by the flower and her fingers itched for the opportunity to collect a bouquet.



“I don’t know how anyone can get sick of such a view,” she breathed in a whisper, almost afraid to break the spell that had befallen over the land as the sky burst with colors, streaks of purple and orange and yellow, the light pushing the blackness further away. “This is so beautiful, Ben.”



“Aye. It is,” he heartily agreed though he was no longer watching the sun rise. He, instead, was watching her. And he found that he could not look away. He didn’t want to.