The Gay Man's Matchmaker

“Oh … I,” I stammered out like the idiot I turned into last time I’d seen him.

“Here. Let me help you.

His blue eyes sparkled with obvious mirth as he straightened me out and helped me regain my balance. He smiled warmly when I finally stood on my own, and it somehow reminded me of when we were kids. I don’t know why though. I don’t recall him ever smiling at me before. Still, there it was, stuck in my mind … an image of a preteen Joey.

But now he looked anything but preteen. His muscles hadn’t been my imagination. They were sculpted and clearly defined. He wore another pair of well-worm jeans, though these were black, and his t-shirt was navy blue with an orange Old Navy decal on it. His longish blonde hair fell around his shoulders a bit wildly and his chin showed a sexy shadow of stubble. Goddamn, he’s hotter than I remember.

“You okay?” he asked when I didn’t immediately respond.

“Yeah,” I said, trying for a remote, aloof tone. “What brings you to this side of the city?”

“You.”

He said it matter-of-factly, as if I should know that without being told. I guess I did on some level. But I had still been thinking things over. No way was I ready to talk to him about this yet. It didn’t matter though, because here he was and he didn’t look like he was going anywhere until I did talk to him.

“I, uh, I have to put my equipment away.”

“Can I help you bring it up, or do you want me to wait for you down here?”

I did a quick mental calculation and realized Tommy was probably already home by now. Nope. Definitely not a good idea to risk them seeing each other … at least until I had a chance to talk to Joey about the past … on my own. If Tommy was with me, chances are Joey wouldn’t get much of a chance to talk before the assault started. Whether it would be verbal or physical was up in the air, too. Tommy had a knack for both.

“It’s probably quicker if I just run up and throw it into the apartment,” I said.

“I see.” His expression changed to annoyance and I knew what he thought. He figured out Tommy’s probable whereabouts. “You’re sure you’ll come back for me?”

That was definitely a loaded question, especially since he came back for me after all these years.

“I will,” I assured him seriously. “We have a lot to talk about.” I made sure my expression matched my purpose, too. He needed to know this would be more like an inquisition than a date.

“Yeah, I guess we do.”

I nodded at him before darting into the building. The elevator ride felt like it took longer than usual, but I finally reached my floor and raced out of it and to my door. I quickly unlocked it and scanned the interior. No sign of Tommy … wait a second! No sign of Tommy? Shit! I dropped my stuff off to the side and quickly relocked the door, racing back to the elevator. Luck was with me, as it hadn’t left my floor and I was able to zip back down pretty fast. I ran out of the elevator and out the front door of the building to where Joey waited. He glanced at me curiously as I looked all around. I spotted Lauren before Tommy, as they rounded the corner on the end of the street. Quickly, I grabbed Joey’s arm and pulled him into the deli next door, then began counting to fifty.

“Um … did you have a snack attack?” he asked me while I counted, screwing me up.

“Shh!”

“Kee?”

“Shh, Goddammit!”

We waited quietly for another minute or so then I peeked out, sighing when the coast was clear.

“Now can you tell me what that was about?” he asked with a small smile as he followed me out and we walked away from my building.

“Did you want Tommy to drag me back upstairs and lock the doors?” I asked, irritated that he was fucking questioning me.

“He’d do that?”

“In half a heart beat. Let’s just say you left a lasting impression on him, okay?”

“O-okay,” he replied, drawing out the word and pissing me off. “So … Kelly’s?”

“Fuck no!” I cried. “That’s the first place he and Lauren will turn up.”

“A gay bar?” he asked incredulously. “He would take his female fiancée to a gay bar?”

“Yeah, and I’m the reason,” I sighed. I looked at my watch and noted it was dinner time … which made my stomach growl. “How about dinner?” I asked. “Dutch.”

“I’m up for some steak,” he grinned. “And, no. It’s my treat.”

“It’s not a date!” I huffed.

“Sure it isn’t!”

God help me, I might just have to kill him after all!

-----------------------------------------

I decided to take him to Evil Waiter Steakhouse Inc., mostly just for my own perverse curiosity. I was beginning to think of that cute waiter as my own personal gauge for dating. We were immediately seated in his section, too. In fact, he looked over at me in resignation as he approached the table. I glanced at his name tag as he set a basket of rolls in front of us … I thought I might as well know his name if I was going to risk the biological warfare. His name was Sam.

“Can I get you something to drink?” he asked stoically.

We both ordered beers and he left to get them. When he returned, we were ready to place our order, and he looked pleasantly surprised. Maybe he won’t fart on my rib eye tonight after all! When he left to put the order in I drew up my nerve and began my questioning. Joey looked amused, as usual.

“Tommy told me about the bet,” I said without preamble. Did you think I would give him warning? Have you been paying attention to me at all? I’m a bastard!

“Bet?” he looked confused for a second.

“With Chris.”

“Chris?” understanding dawned on him. “That bet?! How’d he know?”

“Never mind that,” I growled. “Just explain it.”

He sighed and looked down at his beer as if contemplating his answer. “I can’t,” he finally said, “at least not in a way that would clear my name. We had a bet.”

“I see.” I felt colder than I’d ever felt before. Damn you, Jenna! Why couldn’t I have kept this a fantasy and left him alone?

“I was a kid, Kee,” he said softly. “A stupid kid dealing with a sexuality I didn’t want … at least one that I was always taught I shouldn’t want. And I knew for a while that I was attracted to you. Can you see it that way for a minute?”

I tried to. I pictured what that must have been like. Oh, I could identify with the part about not wanting to be gay. I had been going through the same thing he had gone through. Who could believe we’d been going through all that at the same time? But it sounded like he had been planning to use that fear against me when he himself had the same one. How unfair was that shit?

I just shrugged at his questioning look.

“I wanted to kiss you so bad,” he said. “But I didn’t want anyone to find out. At the time, it just seemed like a good way to get what I wanted without being labeled a fag.”

“And what would it matter to you if I was labeled one instead?” I hissed.

“I hadn’t thought that far ahead,” he replied sadly. “I was a stupid kid going through puberty. All my friends wanted to screw the cheerleaders. And all I wanted was the skinny little sidekick to my apparent arch nemesis.”

Oh, the irony!

“He wouldn’t have been your arch nemesis if you hadn’t been planning to tie me naked to a swing set.”

His cheeks reddened and he closed his eyes briefly. “He knew about that, too?”

“He told me it was why he joined wrestling.”

“I wouldn’t have gone through with it, Kee,” he said seriously, his blue eyes suddenly locked on me intently. “I was eleven years old, and I just started realizing I was attracted to you. My friends were asking me why I was staring at you so much so I made up that bullshit as a cover. I didn’t want to be gay back then, but I never would have done that to you.”

I saw nothing but sincerity in his eyes. Sam came over at that moment to serve us our salads. After we both declined his offer of pepper, he almost skipped away from our table giddily. I watched him retreat as I contemplated what I learned. Sam stopped by the bar and turned back to me, catching my eye. He smiled. Smiled? And then he winked and gave me a “thumbs up”. What the fuck? Did he know? Did those two matchmaking catastrophes get to him? Oh, Christ! I bet they did! I sighed and started to eat, turning my attention back to Joey.

I wanted to believe Tommy, I really did. He was my best friend and had apparently become a varsity athlete just to protect me from this guy. But my gut was telling me that Joey wasn’t lying … that these things had happened at a very crucial time in his past. And I had been going through the exact same thing. And … Goddamn he’s a hot man! That last thought just leapt into my mind and moved in like it had just leased the place. Damn it!

“How do I know you’re not just here to finally win the bet?”

“I guess I deserved that,” he snorted.

Sam came over with a bus boy, who took our salad plates as Sam placed our entrées down. He asked again if we wanted pepper … and again we declined. He smiled and told us to enjoy our meals then skipped away again.

“I guess I just don’t understand why you came back for me,” I said after we were left alone again.

“I’m not surprised,” he chuckled. “I guess I have been stalking you lately. And what with all of this bet shit, why wouldn’t you be wary of me?”

I shrugged.

“Look, I can’t prove my innocence unless you agree to give me a fair shot,” he said seriously.

He had a point there.

“That makes sense.”

“And if Tommy has his way, I’ll never get that,” he added.

Whose love life is it anyway? Damn you, Jenna!

“Who said it’s up to Tommy?”

There was silence for a full minute and I was getting edgy.

“You mean that?” he looked up at me hopefully.

Hopefully? When did I become the great gay catch? Oh, fuck it! He’s a sexy piece of ass and, at the very least I’ll have a hot fling to remember him by. At the best … well, at the best, he’ll clear his name.

“It’s just dating,” I said.

“Yeah,” he replied, but the serious look he suddenly assumed gave me pause. Just how far does he want this to go?

“And the only reason Tommy and Lauren go to Kelly’s is to set me up,” I added hurriedly.

“Huh?”

“When he got engaged he decided I needed a new keeper so I don’t waste away at home,” I sighed. “No one thinks I can take care of myself.”

“I do,” he grinned.

I do, too, I silently agreed.

“Okay, then,” I said instead.

“Excellent.”

His serious look returned and my stomach exploded with butterflies. What the hell did I get myself into?