Diary of a Gay (NOT!... well, maybe) Boy
folder
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
13
Views:
2,820
Reviews:
28
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
13
Views:
2,820
Reviews:
28
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Chapter 10
September 5, Algebra, 9am
Ok, um, the weirdest thing happened. You know how David told me that our kiss never happened? Well, he’s gotta have SOME sort of feelings because we did something else.
See, in religion class, I had to pee, so I got up to go to the bathroom. I walked down the hallway and into the boy’s room. While I was doing my business, I heard the door open and David walked in and started to use the urinal next to me. I tried to avoid looking at his equipment, but it was hard. I succeeded though and finished and then went to wash my hands. As I was about to pull down the lever for the paper towels, David’s hand lay to rest on my hand as it was poised to pull the lever. I looked at him with a look that said “um, HELLO, I’m getting paper towels here. KINDLY wait your turn” but found him looking at me all weird. His other hand pushed me away from the paper towel dispenser and onto the wall (but not like roughly, it was actually quite gentle) as the hand on mine moved it so my hand wasn’t still on the lever.
He had both my arms above my head on either side of me and had a firm but gentle grip on them. He moved closer and his lips (oh GOD, how I love those lips!) got closer to mine and he kissed me this time.
Like for real. AND I KNOW IT HAPPENED because it wasn’t just a peck! It was a full on kiss. And it felt so good.
Plus, not only did he kiss me, but his body was against mine and he was rubbing his… um, well, this is kinda embarrassing, even if no one is going to read this but me.
He rubbed his… bulge against the one forming in my pants. And then he let me go and, while I was still too stunned to do anything, he left. My hands fell to my sides, but one came back up and touched my lips where David’s had just been. I could still feel his presence on my lips. It felt good.
And at that moment, I realized three things:
1) Maybe David does have feelings for me. I mean, why else would you randomly follow someone to the bathroom, grab them, push them against the wall, and kiss them?
2) Ok, I am so giving up that whole “I am giving up on men” thing because there is no way I can resist the hotness that is David.
And the third thing I realized:
3) DAVID LEFT WITHOUT WASHING HIS HANDS!!!! He is spreading germs as we speak (albeit, hot ones) or, well, write. Or, well, wrote. Because he could’ve realized he didn’t wash his hands and then gone and washed them between classes or something. I wouldn’t know. I haven’t seen him.
Anyway, after the initial shock was over- from both the kiss and the not washing his hands thing- I went back to the classroom and sat next to David and he totally didn’t seem as embarrassed as I was. I felt like EVERYBODY was watching me, like everybody somehow KNEW what David and I had done, even though no one had been there with us.
The rest of the class passed by quickly and David and I went our separate ways. We have P.E. together next period. I wonder how that’s gonna go…
Oy, I’d rather NOT think about that. But mainly because it’s about to happen. There goes the bell.
September 5, study hall, 1:20pm
Well, actually nothing really happened in P.E. except that when I came in the locker room, David was just leaving, already dressed. Then we ended up being split into two groups, me in one and he in the other and we were separated. The group I was in did indoor volleyball and the other group went out and did football (SOO glad I was in the inside group). And then we finished before the outdoor group did and I ended up finishing dressing back to our uniform before David and his group came back, though, as I walked past him, I caught him glancing at me, but not like in a “I’m gonna kill you” kind of way, but actually kind of lovingly. It was kind of weird.
Well, it made me feel good, because it means he’s got to think I’m sexy or something. And knowing somebody thinks you’re sexy is a REALLY nice feeling. So, since then, I’ve felt really sexy and I’ve been sashaying through the halls and such, thinking stuff like “Yea, I’m hot. You know you want it. But you can’t have it. Cuz this is ALL FOR DAVID. HA!”
Ok, maybe the little restroom rendezvous earlier and the loving look he gave me is making me a little delirious. But whatever. He MIGHT potentially love me! Or at least like me a lot.
You know, it feels good to know that someone loves/likes you a lot . It makes you feel special and like you’re cared for. That you mean something to someone. That you have a PURPOSE in life.
I so hope he does not mess this up. Because I don’t know if I’d be able to handle it if he didn’t follow through with his loving glances and kisses.
September 5, my room, 5pm
I can’t focus on my homework. I keep thinking about David and what happened earlier. I feel kind of used now. Like I’m some sort of cheap tawdry sex toy that he can just kiss whenever he feels like doing it.
It felt good earlier today but now that I’ve had time to reflect upon it, it’s just made me feel used. And I don’t like this feeling. At all. It sucks, frankly. I thought it would be cool to get kissed again by David, but he’s not acknowledging me after they happen, except for that tiny little glance in P.E. class, but he could have been looking for a friend of his, and not at me. Or maybe I had something stuck in my teeth! Or there was like a piece of toilet paper stuck to my shoe!!!!
What if there wasn’t ANYTHING going on at that point? Obviously, the whole restroom thing happened, but like what if he just did it just because? And he’s not planning on following through?!
WHAT A LOSER! I mean, you don’t just make-out with me and then IGNORE me! That’s just stupid and PLAIN RUDE! You know what, I don’t even know what I even SAW in David. Yea, he’s gotta be the hottest being to walk the planet (aside from Brad Pitt, but that goes without saying), but what about BENEATH the surface of his dashingly good looks? Apparently, there’s a rotten core beneath it.
Why do ALL the hot guys have to be such creeps?! All they want is a little piece of me, those horny little bastards! Well, you know what, I’m not giving them ANYTHING. Take that, you creeps!!! You’re missing out on something awesome here, so YOUR LOSS.
OH. MY. GOD.
David just signed on to Instant Messenger!
AND HE JUST IM-ED ME!!!
DtothaAvid: Hey, what’s up, Philip? Anything exciting happen today?
Um, yea, something totally exciting happened today and you were there. YOU RUBBED YOUR EQUIPMENT AGAINST MINE WHILE YOU WERE MAKING OUT WITH ME!!! DUH.
That’s what I WOULD have said, had I had the guts to do it. But I don’t. I’m not a gutsy kind of person.
Blake323: Not much happened today. Classes sucked, as usual.
DtothaAvid: Yea, I hear that.
Oh my god, I feel like yelling at him so much. Like asking him how he REALLY feels about me. I don’t like these random kissing sessions (well, I LIKE them, but not when he’s gonna keep denying that they happened!) I swear, he needs to get his act straight (or, well, gay, as the case may be. HAHA.)
Oy, I don’t know what’s going on with him. Why can’t he accept his feelings for the same sex like I have? Then we wouldn’t HAVE this problem of him toying with my emotions because we’d have everything out in the open and we could live happily ever after making out in my or his room. Can’t he see the possibilities of us actually GETTING TOGETHER?!
I can’t take this anymore. I’m not gonna sit idly by while he toys with my emotions and makes out with me whenever HE feels like it. I want to have the upper hand.
Here goes nothing.
Blake323: Ok, I KNOW that you kissed me in the boy’s bathroom today and don’t play innocent with me at all. I know it happened, so don’t try and deny it. What’s going on? I promise to be understanding, I just want to know what the hell is going on. I mean, you can’t just keep on kissing me whenever you feel like it!!!
I pressed the send button. And now, we wait.
September 5, Huntley Meadows Park, 8pm
Oh my god. You will NOT believe what just happened. Well, actually it happened like a little less than two hours ago, but whatever. Anyway, it took David a few minutes but he replied with this:
DtothaAvid: Um yea, would you mind meeting me at Huntley Meadows in like an hour? We can talk there.
At the time, I was like “WHAT THE F***? Why can’t we talk about it here, ONLINE?” But then I realized that it’s better to talk things out in person because you can inflect your speech in the right way, so you can get your message across better.
BUT THEN I realized that I am not the world’s best talker (see the Day-vid/Dah-vid incident) and avoid confrontation as often as possible.
And that’s when I got scared. I almost told him no, that we should talk about it online (I am MUCH better at writing stuff out than actually saying it out loud), but somehow I got brave and typed
Blake323: Sure. See ya in a bit then.
And then, he signed off like a minute later after saying bye quickly. Which was good I guess, considering that a few minutes later, I regretted telling him that it was fine. But I steeled myself and put on my shoes and made sure I looked good (well, as good as I’m gonna get considering I am a freak; an ugly freak at that).
And I remember thinking what if he was going to tell me that there was no way he would kiss an ugly creature like me, even if he was gay AND the last person on the earth! So yeah, that was quite the downer, but I figured it’s better to know you’ve been dumped than to keep thinking that maybe, just maybe you two might end up together at some point in the (hopefully) soon future.
Anyway, I ended up walking over to the park after having told my parents that I was going for a walk and that I’d be back later. I walked quickly over to Huntley Meadows. By the way, David and I don’t live that far apart. The park is in between our houses. He lives far enough away so that he needs a ride to my house, but we can still walk to the park. If that makes any sense.
I got to the park entrance and waited for a minute or so until I saw David making his way to the park (and, essentially, to me). Once I saw him, my heart did this flip-floppy thing even though he’s been treating me POORLY and like some sort of emotionless being that he can kiss whenever the hell he wants. I am not that kind of boy. And never will be.
He finally walks up to me and I can see he’s leaning forward to kiss me on the lips. I pull back, leaving him with his lips kissing air. I mean, HELLO, he already kissed me today and then IGNORED me AGAIN. Like hell I’m gonna let him just kiss me again, though I did miss having his lips on mine (did I ever mention what nice lips they are?), but I reminded myself of how he’s been treating me, so no kiss for him!
He realized that he wasn’t gonna get any from me and so he just motioned silently toward a nearby park bench. We walked over in silence and sat down. It was silent for a while. Well, he had asked me to come here to talk; I was waiting for him to strike up this conversation because I certainly wasn’t doing it.
He turned to me and started to open his mouth, but then closed it and turned away. We sat there for a while longer, just staring at the open field in front of us, at the setting sun. The sky was absolutely beautiful, with oranges, purples, pinks, and blues filling the sky.
Now, I’m not a confrontational person, as mentioned before, but the silence was getting on my nerves. Normally, I don’t mind silence, but when someone calls me out here and all we’re doing is just sitting here in silence, I take issue. Unless of course the someone is my boyfriend and he’s holding me in his arms. Then it’s ok. But that’s not happening now so I’m taking this into my own hands.
I turned to him and said “So what’s the deal? What did you bring me here to talk about? Because if we’re just gonna sit here in silence, I’m going home.”
He looked at me, and I looked straight back, determination in my eyes. I noticed as I looked into his eyes that he was feeling scared. There was that thing in his eyes that made him look nervous. My own determination faltered and all I wanted to do was hug him and make him not scared anymore. I was hoping he wasn’t scared of me because that would have sucked.
We continued this little staring contest until my determination just ended and fell apart. I moved forward and put my arms around him and held him close. The thing was, he didn’t do anything. He didn’t pull in closer, but he didn’t push me away either. I stroked his hair and told him to just tell me whatever was on his mind. Here’s our conversation:
Me: Just tell me whatever’s on your mind. I’ll be understanding.
David: *silence for a few moments, then he spoke* I … I think I like you, Philip. *After that, he seemed to pull into himself, as if I was gonna do something bad to him, like punch him or something, which I would never do, due to my liking him and the fact that I have no upper body strength whatsoever. In fact, after he admitted he liked me, I pulled him even closer and we sat in silence a bit more.*
Me: *I eventually spoke* Well, it’s good we got this all out in the open. But I gotta say this one thing *I pulled him up so he was looking in my eyes and I saw that he looked scared in his own eyes again* I like you too. And, yes, in the way you like me.
You do NOT know how exciting it was to see his fear turn into sudden relief as he moved his head forward and kissed me on my lips. I kissed him back and put my arms around him. We cuddled on the bench some more, occasionally kissing, as we watched the sun set. It was the most romantic moment ever. Of course, it started getting really late and though it was hard to let him go (it felt so nice to have him cuddled in my arms), I did it and we kissed a few more times before parting. I stopped ourselves before we kissed more because I know we’d just keep going and it’d start getting even later. I watched him as he wandered off toward his house and now I’m sitting here writing all this down because I could not wait til I got home. I had to do it now.
I should get home before my parents start worrying about me.
HE TOLD ME HE LIKED ME!!!! WAHOO!!!!
Ok, um, the weirdest thing happened. You know how David told me that our kiss never happened? Well, he’s gotta have SOME sort of feelings because we did something else.
See, in religion class, I had to pee, so I got up to go to the bathroom. I walked down the hallway and into the boy’s room. While I was doing my business, I heard the door open and David walked in and started to use the urinal next to me. I tried to avoid looking at his equipment, but it was hard. I succeeded though and finished and then went to wash my hands. As I was about to pull down the lever for the paper towels, David’s hand lay to rest on my hand as it was poised to pull the lever. I looked at him with a look that said “um, HELLO, I’m getting paper towels here. KINDLY wait your turn” but found him looking at me all weird. His other hand pushed me away from the paper towel dispenser and onto the wall (but not like roughly, it was actually quite gentle) as the hand on mine moved it so my hand wasn’t still on the lever.
He had both my arms above my head on either side of me and had a firm but gentle grip on them. He moved closer and his lips (oh GOD, how I love those lips!) got closer to mine and he kissed me this time.
Like for real. AND I KNOW IT HAPPENED because it wasn’t just a peck! It was a full on kiss. And it felt so good.
Plus, not only did he kiss me, but his body was against mine and he was rubbing his… um, well, this is kinda embarrassing, even if no one is going to read this but me.
He rubbed his… bulge against the one forming in my pants. And then he let me go and, while I was still too stunned to do anything, he left. My hands fell to my sides, but one came back up and touched my lips where David’s had just been. I could still feel his presence on my lips. It felt good.
And at that moment, I realized three things:
1) Maybe David does have feelings for me. I mean, why else would you randomly follow someone to the bathroom, grab them, push them against the wall, and kiss them?
2) Ok, I am so giving up that whole “I am giving up on men” thing because there is no way I can resist the hotness that is David.
And the third thing I realized:
3) DAVID LEFT WITHOUT WASHING HIS HANDS!!!! He is spreading germs as we speak (albeit, hot ones) or, well, write. Or, well, wrote. Because he could’ve realized he didn’t wash his hands and then gone and washed them between classes or something. I wouldn’t know. I haven’t seen him.
Anyway, after the initial shock was over- from both the kiss and the not washing his hands thing- I went back to the classroom and sat next to David and he totally didn’t seem as embarrassed as I was. I felt like EVERYBODY was watching me, like everybody somehow KNEW what David and I had done, even though no one had been there with us.
The rest of the class passed by quickly and David and I went our separate ways. We have P.E. together next period. I wonder how that’s gonna go…
Oy, I’d rather NOT think about that. But mainly because it’s about to happen. There goes the bell.
September 5, study hall, 1:20pm
Well, actually nothing really happened in P.E. except that when I came in the locker room, David was just leaving, already dressed. Then we ended up being split into two groups, me in one and he in the other and we were separated. The group I was in did indoor volleyball and the other group went out and did football (SOO glad I was in the inside group). And then we finished before the outdoor group did and I ended up finishing dressing back to our uniform before David and his group came back, though, as I walked past him, I caught him glancing at me, but not like in a “I’m gonna kill you” kind of way, but actually kind of lovingly. It was kind of weird.
Well, it made me feel good, because it means he’s got to think I’m sexy or something. And knowing somebody thinks you’re sexy is a REALLY nice feeling. So, since then, I’ve felt really sexy and I’ve been sashaying through the halls and such, thinking stuff like “Yea, I’m hot. You know you want it. But you can’t have it. Cuz this is ALL FOR DAVID. HA!”
Ok, maybe the little restroom rendezvous earlier and the loving look he gave me is making me a little delirious. But whatever. He MIGHT potentially love me! Or at least like me a lot.
You know, it feels good to know that someone loves/likes you a lot . It makes you feel special and like you’re cared for. That you mean something to someone. That you have a PURPOSE in life.
I so hope he does not mess this up. Because I don’t know if I’d be able to handle it if he didn’t follow through with his loving glances and kisses.
September 5, my room, 5pm
I can’t focus on my homework. I keep thinking about David and what happened earlier. I feel kind of used now. Like I’m some sort of cheap tawdry sex toy that he can just kiss whenever he feels like doing it.
It felt good earlier today but now that I’ve had time to reflect upon it, it’s just made me feel used. And I don’t like this feeling. At all. It sucks, frankly. I thought it would be cool to get kissed again by David, but he’s not acknowledging me after they happen, except for that tiny little glance in P.E. class, but he could have been looking for a friend of his, and not at me. Or maybe I had something stuck in my teeth! Or there was like a piece of toilet paper stuck to my shoe!!!!
What if there wasn’t ANYTHING going on at that point? Obviously, the whole restroom thing happened, but like what if he just did it just because? And he’s not planning on following through?!
WHAT A LOSER! I mean, you don’t just make-out with me and then IGNORE me! That’s just stupid and PLAIN RUDE! You know what, I don’t even know what I even SAW in David. Yea, he’s gotta be the hottest being to walk the planet (aside from Brad Pitt, but that goes without saying), but what about BENEATH the surface of his dashingly good looks? Apparently, there’s a rotten core beneath it.
Why do ALL the hot guys have to be such creeps?! All they want is a little piece of me, those horny little bastards! Well, you know what, I’m not giving them ANYTHING. Take that, you creeps!!! You’re missing out on something awesome here, so YOUR LOSS.
OH. MY. GOD.
David just signed on to Instant Messenger!
AND HE JUST IM-ED ME!!!
DtothaAvid: Hey, what’s up, Philip? Anything exciting happen today?
Um, yea, something totally exciting happened today and you were there. YOU RUBBED YOUR EQUIPMENT AGAINST MINE WHILE YOU WERE MAKING OUT WITH ME!!! DUH.
That’s what I WOULD have said, had I had the guts to do it. But I don’t. I’m not a gutsy kind of person.
Blake323: Not much happened today. Classes sucked, as usual.
DtothaAvid: Yea, I hear that.
Oh my god, I feel like yelling at him so much. Like asking him how he REALLY feels about me. I don’t like these random kissing sessions (well, I LIKE them, but not when he’s gonna keep denying that they happened!) I swear, he needs to get his act straight (or, well, gay, as the case may be. HAHA.)
Oy, I don’t know what’s going on with him. Why can’t he accept his feelings for the same sex like I have? Then we wouldn’t HAVE this problem of him toying with my emotions because we’d have everything out in the open and we could live happily ever after making out in my or his room. Can’t he see the possibilities of us actually GETTING TOGETHER?!
I can’t take this anymore. I’m not gonna sit idly by while he toys with my emotions and makes out with me whenever HE feels like it. I want to have the upper hand.
Here goes nothing.
Blake323: Ok, I KNOW that you kissed me in the boy’s bathroom today and don’t play innocent with me at all. I know it happened, so don’t try and deny it. What’s going on? I promise to be understanding, I just want to know what the hell is going on. I mean, you can’t just keep on kissing me whenever you feel like it!!!
I pressed the send button. And now, we wait.
September 5, Huntley Meadows Park, 8pm
Oh my god. You will NOT believe what just happened. Well, actually it happened like a little less than two hours ago, but whatever. Anyway, it took David a few minutes but he replied with this:
DtothaAvid: Um yea, would you mind meeting me at Huntley Meadows in like an hour? We can talk there.
At the time, I was like “WHAT THE F***? Why can’t we talk about it here, ONLINE?” But then I realized that it’s better to talk things out in person because you can inflect your speech in the right way, so you can get your message across better.
BUT THEN I realized that I am not the world’s best talker (see the Day-vid/Dah-vid incident) and avoid confrontation as often as possible.
And that’s when I got scared. I almost told him no, that we should talk about it online (I am MUCH better at writing stuff out than actually saying it out loud), but somehow I got brave and typed
Blake323: Sure. See ya in a bit then.
And then, he signed off like a minute later after saying bye quickly. Which was good I guess, considering that a few minutes later, I regretted telling him that it was fine. But I steeled myself and put on my shoes and made sure I looked good (well, as good as I’m gonna get considering I am a freak; an ugly freak at that).
And I remember thinking what if he was going to tell me that there was no way he would kiss an ugly creature like me, even if he was gay AND the last person on the earth! So yeah, that was quite the downer, but I figured it’s better to know you’ve been dumped than to keep thinking that maybe, just maybe you two might end up together at some point in the (hopefully) soon future.
Anyway, I ended up walking over to the park after having told my parents that I was going for a walk and that I’d be back later. I walked quickly over to Huntley Meadows. By the way, David and I don’t live that far apart. The park is in between our houses. He lives far enough away so that he needs a ride to my house, but we can still walk to the park. If that makes any sense.
I got to the park entrance and waited for a minute or so until I saw David making his way to the park (and, essentially, to me). Once I saw him, my heart did this flip-floppy thing even though he’s been treating me POORLY and like some sort of emotionless being that he can kiss whenever the hell he wants. I am not that kind of boy. And never will be.
He finally walks up to me and I can see he’s leaning forward to kiss me on the lips. I pull back, leaving him with his lips kissing air. I mean, HELLO, he already kissed me today and then IGNORED me AGAIN. Like hell I’m gonna let him just kiss me again, though I did miss having his lips on mine (did I ever mention what nice lips they are?), but I reminded myself of how he’s been treating me, so no kiss for him!
He realized that he wasn’t gonna get any from me and so he just motioned silently toward a nearby park bench. We walked over in silence and sat down. It was silent for a while. Well, he had asked me to come here to talk; I was waiting for him to strike up this conversation because I certainly wasn’t doing it.
He turned to me and started to open his mouth, but then closed it and turned away. We sat there for a while longer, just staring at the open field in front of us, at the setting sun. The sky was absolutely beautiful, with oranges, purples, pinks, and blues filling the sky.
Now, I’m not a confrontational person, as mentioned before, but the silence was getting on my nerves. Normally, I don’t mind silence, but when someone calls me out here and all we’re doing is just sitting here in silence, I take issue. Unless of course the someone is my boyfriend and he’s holding me in his arms. Then it’s ok. But that’s not happening now so I’m taking this into my own hands.
I turned to him and said “So what’s the deal? What did you bring me here to talk about? Because if we’re just gonna sit here in silence, I’m going home.”
He looked at me, and I looked straight back, determination in my eyes. I noticed as I looked into his eyes that he was feeling scared. There was that thing in his eyes that made him look nervous. My own determination faltered and all I wanted to do was hug him and make him not scared anymore. I was hoping he wasn’t scared of me because that would have sucked.
We continued this little staring contest until my determination just ended and fell apart. I moved forward and put my arms around him and held him close. The thing was, he didn’t do anything. He didn’t pull in closer, but he didn’t push me away either. I stroked his hair and told him to just tell me whatever was on his mind. Here’s our conversation:
Me: Just tell me whatever’s on your mind. I’ll be understanding.
David: *silence for a few moments, then he spoke* I … I think I like you, Philip. *After that, he seemed to pull into himself, as if I was gonna do something bad to him, like punch him or something, which I would never do, due to my liking him and the fact that I have no upper body strength whatsoever. In fact, after he admitted he liked me, I pulled him even closer and we sat in silence a bit more.*
Me: *I eventually spoke* Well, it’s good we got this all out in the open. But I gotta say this one thing *I pulled him up so he was looking in my eyes and I saw that he looked scared in his own eyes again* I like you too. And, yes, in the way you like me.
You do NOT know how exciting it was to see his fear turn into sudden relief as he moved his head forward and kissed me on my lips. I kissed him back and put my arms around him. We cuddled on the bench some more, occasionally kissing, as we watched the sun set. It was the most romantic moment ever. Of course, it started getting really late and though it was hard to let him go (it felt so nice to have him cuddled in my arms), I did it and we kissed a few more times before parting. I stopped ourselves before we kissed more because I know we’d just keep going and it’d start getting even later. I watched him as he wandered off toward his house and now I’m sitting here writing all this down because I could not wait til I got home. I had to do it now.
I should get home before my parents start worrying about me.
HE TOLD ME HE LIKED ME!!!! WAHOO!!!!