Gravity of Love

(ten)


I slowly came back from sleep feeling resting with a strange, yet welcomed, sense of calm. Faintly, I felt fingers playing in my hair and soft lips brushed against my cheek. Mmmm, I smiled as Ren touched me softly, running his hands down my arm and across my chest tenderly. I moved in closer to him, trying to snuggle. The hands moved lower, kneading into my stomach a bit as they traveled further down. I let out a content sigh and wondered briefly why Ren never woke me up like this before. Because he hasn't, a cold voice whispered, and never will. You remember where you are, don't you?

My eyes shot open and I sat up quickly as my brain fully woke up and I remembered. I looked down and saw not Ren, but Mannix lying next to me, watching me with a curious grin on his face.

"I didn't mean to spook you," he said with a grin.

"Yes you did," I grumbled and scooted a bit away from him, taking as much of the sheets as I could with me. It was weird to say the least to wake up beside him, especially after last night. I was still having problems with how much I had enjoyed it, but…shit, that had felt good. To let go like that was almost like being high on something. When was the last time I got to top anyone? To make sure my needs were satisfied? Yeah, I can't think of anything either. Surprisingly, it didn't bother me as much this morning as I thought it would. Does that mean I'm not as "clean" as I thought I was? I always prided myself that I wouldn't be like Ren or Mannix with their sick games, but was that just a game, too? To fight it, only to give in? To hate it, but enjoy it at the same time? I wasn't sure. Wasn't sure if it mattered. Wasn't sure I cared.

"No," Mannix said softly and grabbed one of my arms and pulled me back down onto the bed, "I didn't." He leaned over me a bit, resting his right hand on my shoulder and let it travel down my arm, trailing his fingers slowly across my skin. He brought his head down and kissed me, and as he brought his body closer I could feel his erection against my thigh. He moved until he was on top of me, on all fours looking down at me.

"Where's that fire from last night?" He murmured against my lips. He lowered a bit of himself on my body and I froze and turned my head to the side to avoid his gaze. He dropped his hips and drove my legs apart with a quick movement of his knees and he grinded his cock against me. "Pretending it didn't happen now that it's the morning after?"

I was so not going to fall for that same trick twice; he was trying to piss me off again. If fire was what he wanted, ice was what the bastard was going to get. I kept still as he felt me up, his fingers digging into my arms and sides in an attempt to get a rise out of me. He stopped his ministrations and looked down at me with a frown.

"What gives?"

I closed my eyes but said nothing. I soon felt his lips brush along my neck, his teeth scraping lightly over my skin and I shivered without really wanting to. His tongue flicked out and he trailed a long wet line from my neck to my chin and I felt his hands dig into my sides. I moaned softly, and wanted to lift my hands to push him away but couldn't bring myself to.

"You know you liked it," he purred, licking my skin again. He started grinding his cock against me again and I felt my body respond to him, a shiver of desire running along my skin. "Why won't you just say it?"

Because I didn't, I almost said, but I knew that wouldn't be true. I really had while I was doing it, but now I felt…dirty somehow. Yet I felt strangely good and I honestly couldn't remember the last time I came that hard or had felt so aroused. Did it mean that this was all that was left for me? This game of pain? This desire to hurt? Sadist. That was the word. A word I thought I wouldn't ever use for myself, but how could I possibly believe that I could live this life without some its "tastes" running off on me?

Mannix reached up and pressed his thumb in the middle of my forehead.

"The bedroom is no place for such heavy thinking, Gavey. Spill it."

I had opened my mouth to give out a nasty retort when a loud bell rang through the room, making me jump. Mannix laughed.

"Jumpy, are we?" He rolled off me and got off the bed. "I had some breakfast whipped up just for you."

I sat up, resting my back on the headboard. Breakfast? This was getting weirder by the minute. What was Mannix pulling? Bringing me here, laying on the charm and now breakfast in bed? It was almost like he was trying to…..seduce me. Mannix walked to the door and it soon opened, a young man pushed in a cart with a covered silver tray. The aromas wafted into the room and hit my nose and it made my stomach flip. Mannix took the tray and gave the boy a wide smile.

"Play with you later."

The younger man grinned. "You always say that, but you never do."

"Waiting for you to give me the answer I want, baby," Mannix purred. "Think about that on your way out, okay?"

The boy frowned, but still had all eyes for Mannix. It was like a starving man drooling over a piece of steak. I felt a bit sorry for the kid, since he clearly was too stupid to know that Mannix's attention was neither the best nor the safest thing to have. But I hoped one day he would get what he wanted maybe Mannix would have someone else to play with other than me.

Mannix came back to the bed and sat down to the left of me, putting the tray in-between us. He took off the cover and picked up a piece of what looked like meat from the plate and he put it to my lips. I shrank back instinctively. Would you trust something coming from him? Uh-huh, I didn't think so.

"It's just food, Gavin, damn." He muttered and ate the piece he had just offered me. He took another piece and ate it, chewing it slowly, with his eyebrows raised.

"See?" He said with a smile. He put more to my lips and I finally opened my mouth and ate it. I chewed it slowly but my eyes narrowed in curiosity. Why was he being so damned sweet? I opened my mouth and accepted yet another piece. It was actually quiet delicious and my stomach now remembered I didn't eat anything last night and I suddenly felt ravenous. He offered me another and I took it, but – despite my hunger—watched him carefully. I would hardly expect anything like this from Ren, even in his best mood, so coming from Mannix made me more than curious, but down right suspicious.

"That was good, wasn't it?" Mannix said, licking his fingers. I simply nodded and regretted faintly that there wasn't anymore left. He took the tray off the bed and set it on the floor before turning back to me. Oh goody.

"Now, that your belly is nice and full, we can play," he purred. He moved to where he was straddling my legs and held on to my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. "Don't you want to play, Gavey?"

"Not really," I grumble before I could stop myself.

"You're really pulling back?" He asked incredulously, like my behavior was just a game. Maybe to him, it really was.

"What do you want from me?" I muttered angrily.

"I want you to admit that you liked it," he said simply. Oh, was that all? He wanted more than that, the bastard, and we both knew it. I also knew that things were a game to Mannix, like pieces across a chess board, you'd have to think carefully and think ahead or you'd end up in a position that you didn't like or want. Often times literally. I would not get pissed. I would not get pissed. I could handle him. I hope.

"If I did," I said carefully, "what then?"

Mannix smiled. "Are you saying you did?"

"Why bother? You already seem to think so?" I snapped.

He chuckled and nibbled at the tip of my nose. "Because I knew you did, but you probably still have it in that pretty head of yours that its something I tricked you –forced you—into doing. Honestly, I had all intention of fucking last night, not getting fucked. I don't let just anyone top me."

Funny, but I never thought of Mannix as the type to have standards. I thought he'd fuck anything that had a dick, but then again why should I even care? I knew enough of his sexual habits and cravings to have decided that that was I wanted to know.

"Admit it and I'll leave you alone," he said in a singsong type of tone as he pushed down on my shoulders, putting me on my back. He leaned down and nibbled along my neck, twirling his tongue in slow circles. His hands traveled down my sides, dragging his fingers into my skin until they finally rested on my hips. I moaned despite myself and arched my back. His hands were so soft and warm and his tongue playing on my skin was making me breathe a bit faster. Shit, did I really want him like that? Where was this desire coming from? What did it mean if I did? As if he could sense my thoughts wandering he bit down on my neck, making me writhe and gasp. I ached suddenly to touch him, to run my fingers along his back, up his neck and in his hair. I did want him.

"Admit it," he whispered. He lifted his body off me a bit and took hold of my cock in his hand, pulling on it a few times before letting it go. He then moved his fingers to that soft stretch of skin where the dick and scrotum meet and I spread my legs at that intimate touch, a sigh falling from my lips. I don't know what the hell he was doing, but he pressed down on it and I soon felt his fingers slip into my ass a little. My hips bucked involuntarily and a shiver shook my body. It wasn't an overwhelming pleasure, but it was a dull ache that never got stronger yet was there, teasing you. It was terrible, to be on that edge of pleasure or pain, and be denied it. I wanted his fingers deeper, wanted him stroking me, wanted that painful ache to go way.

"Stop," I breathed.

"Why?" Mannix said, with a shit-eating grin on his face. "Does it hurt?" He pushed his fingers in a bit deeper this time and applied more pressure to the bottom of my shaft, making my hips buck again.

"You know fucking well it doesn't," I spat.

"Then say it and I'll stop teasing."

"Fuck you!"

"Now, now, you can't do any better than that, Gavey-boy?" He began moving his fingers in and out of my ass, wiggling them as he went, only barely touching my cock. I gritted my teeth, trying to fight the growing arousal. God help me, but I wanted it. Wanted it bad. What difference would me admitting it make if it would shut him up? More importantly, shut him up and make him keep doing whatever he was doing.

"Yes," I hissed followed by a loud groan.

"Yes, what?" Mannix asked softly, moving his fingers faster and he leaned his head down to flick his tongue over my nipple before biting on it.

I cried out, coherent thought leaving me for a few seconds and I quickly spat out what he wanted to hear so he would give me what I wanted to feel.

"Yes, I wanted last night," Mannix moved his fingers faster, almost in a fucking rhythm, "Yes, I liked it," he trailed his tongue across my chest, nipping as he went, "Yes, I enjoyed hurting you," his tongue lapped at the tip of my cock, "YES!"

Without warning, Mannix pulled his fingers out of me and sat up, smiling down at me.

"Well aren't you just the little sadistic perv? But that's okay, I like you anyway."

It took me a few moments to come down from the high that he worked me to. All that was just a game to get me to say that? That I enjoyed what I had done? He fucking played me?! He got off the bed and stepped down of the bias, and looked at me over his shoulder.

"C'mon, Gavin, shower time."

"Shower time? But—" He wasn't even gonna finish? I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to look any more needy than I already felt. Any dirtier than I already was.

"Well I can't take you back to Ren all sweaty and smelling of sex, now can I?"

I bit my tongue, a string of curses and insults just on the tip of my tongue, knowing it was best to take advantage of his kindness while it lasted or at least when I got home and could shield myself behind Ren.

I followed him, the small hallway that I saw earlier did lead to a bathroom and I wondered briefly if David had set this up too. The tiles were immaculate with tiny little designs that spread from the floor to the wall. There wasn't much except for a toilet, a double sink, with a Jacuzzi to the far left and a stained glass double door that I assumed was the shower. I'd say it was nice, but it was too over the top like it belonged somewhere else, not some fuck club/hotel. It was too damn much.

"Sickeningly extravagant, isn't it?" Mannix said as he went to the glass doors, his voice clearly dripping with sarcasm. He slid the doors back and reached in, the sound of running water soon filling the silence in the room. "HE likes it, but I say it's just too fucking much for a bathroom."

I said nothing, especially since his thoughts had just mirrored my own. Besides, why did my opinions matter? And why was he feeling so prone to tell me these things? Couldn't he complain or vent about David to Ren; isn't Ren his buddy for shit like that?

Mannix stepped into the shower gingerly, holding his hand out under the running water before emerging himself fully under the stream of water.

"Did you pop a vein or something in your head last night? Come on."

I walked over and got in the shower, not comfortable with the idea of taking one with him. Not comfortable about being around him, period. I haven't been since that first night where he turned me over and fucked me like piece of trash, and left me on the bed crying. Once inside, I saw how big it was almost like it would fit up to four people. Who the hell need a shower this big? But then again it made sense, the rest of the bathroom was just so much, why not the shower too?

Mannix stood close to me even though there was plenty of space for two more people. I backed away from him, the water hitting my shoulder and I shivered as the hot water ran down my back.

"I've thought of you like this," he said softly as he closed the distance between us again.

"Am I supposed to be flattered?" I said, trying to sound angry, but my voice came out soft and almost deadpan. The smoldering look in his eyes was unnerving me; no one gave me that look, no one but Ren.

"I don't care," he said with a shrug and took a hold of my hands and placed them on his hips. "I thought I should just tell you."

He kissed my lips, moving his tongue with mine in slow languid circles in my mouth. His hands worked his way up my chest, groping me as he slid them up to my shoulders, gently around my neck and up to my cheeks, cupping my face in his hands. I began to melt as he devoured my mouth, the kiss was soft and exploring yet quickly became more heated, more intense as it continued. I began to move my hands along his wet skin, finally deciding to let go and enjoy it. I slid my hands to his ass, gripping them before I let them slid up slowly. They were in the small curve of the back where the ass meets the lower back when he suddenly froze against me.

"Shit," he grumbled, and kissed me even harder, something about that touch had bothered him. I massaged at that area to watch his reaction again and he seemed to stiffen, and his body language afterwards seemed to roughen. Me thinks I had found something. I played along his back, pressing my body against him and he soon was mewling into my mouth, sucking on my tongue, my lips as if he needed them to live. He was dry humping me, moaning slightly as I pulled him to me. I tickled the small of his back and some of his weight came down on me as if his legs almost gave away. Even at a time like this I was proud of myself, proud that I could finally do something to unnerve him.

"Stop," he growled and bit down on my lip in a form of warning.

"Why?" I said, feeding the fuck his own words from earlier. "Does it hurt?"

Mannix smiled at me. "You know fucking well it doesn't." He replied.

I was about to say something when he put a finger to my mouth. "No, Gavin, no games….not this time." He pulled me away from the shower stream a little bit and then went on his knees and soon took my cock in his mouth. Already slick from the water, I slid in and out of his mouth with ease. He deep throated my dick, taking all of it in and dragging his tongue along the bottom with every suck. I was getting very excited, the pleasure coursing through me and rising with every beat of my heart. My legs felt weak under his skilled mouth and he reached around and stuck a few fingers in my ass, working them in slowly and in time with his sucking. I ran my fingers through his wet hair, guiding his head as it slid back and forth off my cock.

He pulled away slowly and stood back up and pushed me back, almost making me slip. The water came down over my head, matting my long hair to my face, and back. I looked at him, my eyes following the muscled smoothness of chest and lower. I admired his body, devouring him with my eyes and knew I could have that if I wanted. And I did. I put my head down, still feeling a bit shamed of myself with that one thought. Having admitting it out loud earlier just seemed to make it more real, harder to run away from and ignore. I shut my eyes for a few moments, wrestling with all the turbulent emotions inside me. I liked it. I hated it. I disgusted myself. I opened my eyes and looked at him, facing his hazel stare and refused to look away.

"You look beautiful like that," Mannix murmured softly and fell on me again, devouring my neck and chest. He took me by the shoulder and turned me around, kissing my shoulders and then to the nape of my neck. Now I was the one who's knees buckled. I felt his cock probing at my ass and I tilted my hips back to meet him, eager to have the pleasure sweep over me. Eager to finally have sex just for sex. With Ren there would have to be love or an ultimatum, David would have too much emotional shit to go along with it. Mannix? I didn't know what he wanted from me, but I knew what I wanted right now and for once, that was all that mattered.

"You want this?" Mannix whispered against my ear.

"No more games," I said back quietly. "Give this to me."

Mannix didn't respond and only nibbled at my ear as he pushed his cock in me. "Anything," I thought I heard him whisper, but it might have been the noise of the water playing tricks on me. I ended up with my face pressed against the tiles, mouth slack, as Mannix fucked me, not as rough as he usually does and it wasn't exactly gentle but it was different. Mannix held me in a vice grip by the hips, pulling my back on him as I reached down and stroked my dick off in rhythm with his thrusts. It was a spreading desire within me, and I'm sure after I left this place and I was back home I would hate myself for giving into this. But having him so deep in me, to hear his voice curse and moan the closer he got to orgasm made me feel like I had finally got something I wanted. Something I didn't even know I had wanted until this very moment.

I came first, nearly loosing my footing, but Mannix gripped me by the waist and chest, pinning me to him. I leaned back on him, my arms parallel to his, leaning my head back on his chest as he continued to drive himself into me and moan. He pushed me back up against the tile as he forced himself in deeper, and I was pressed against the wall with no way to move, but I didn't want to. Mannix slammed me so hard against the tile that I cried out and I could feel that he had come.

We detangled ourselves from each other and eventually emerged from the shower looking like prunes. The air between us was quiet now, as we dressed, but that was okay. What could be said between a client and a whore? Thanks for the fuck? No problem, just give me call and set up payment for next time. Do you offer group discounts? Like I said, not very fucking much.

The club was empty as we left; I guess it was like the Coffin and was pretty much nocturnal with its hours. Outside I walked slowly to Mannix's car, my head down, staring down at the ground unable for some reason to look him in the face. I sat still and silent on the ride back, a numbing sort of feeling spreading over me. Twice have I done something I didn't want, or didn't think I wanted to do. I looked over at Mannix from the corner of my eye and he was yawning, unperturbed by it all. And why shouldn't he be? This was just another everyday fuck for him, wasn't it? Ah, Gavin, you think too much! I lay back in the seats, the leather was hot since the car had been sitting in the sun all morning and now it was mid afternoon. That's why I think it was best to have a cloth interior rather than leather; it was just so much of a hassle. Again, my mind was wandering on something, anything to try and push back what was bothering me. Always hiding from things I couldn't or simply didn't want to face. One good thing about it though was that I would never have to get tired of hiding; in my life there was just so much to run from.