life

Chapter One

                I remember I was very young maybe 7 or 8 when I had my first memory of my father. I remember being at one of my parent’s friend’s house. It was bright outside, but the inside of the house was dark.  There was a lot of dark stained word and the furniture was all a dark color. I remember telling my mom I was excited. She just smiled at me. When my father walked into the room that first time I was so shocked. He looked nothing like the pictures I had of him. He was so big to me then and his beard was huge from my perspective. He smiled at me and picked me up. I did not recognize him. I thought my mom was trying to play a trick on me. The pictures I had of him showed him clean shaven with short hair, but this man was scary. He reminded me of a mountain man. Life went on after that and we were a family again.

Some years later I recall living in an old apartment building in Baldwin Park, California. At this time, I hated school. Well maybe not school, I loved my teacher and learning in general, but I hated other children. I was picked on a lot by other children. In second grade, there was a boy. I do not remember his name, but I remember how he made me feel. He would call me pee pee girl. He once had the whole playground singing at me the YMCA song macho man, but the lyrics changed to pee pee pee pee girl I want to be a pee pee girl. I was so embarrassed.  There was no reason for him to pick on me the way he did. I had never wet my pants or anything like that, but once he started no one cared about the truth.

 During this year, we had a couple random check for head lice. I had always struggled with head lice in the pasted, so I was worried I was infected with it now. I knew that if I was sent home the other kids would know why, and then I would never be free from the teasing. I walked up the nurse’s office with the rest of my class and one by one the other students went in and came back out. When it was finally my turn. I was terrified. As I walked in the nurse smiled at me and asked me to sit down. I sat in this chair in the middle of the room. There where to adults in the room with me. She started to check my hair and all I could think of was what would happen if she found one. Just before this incident I did have head lice. My mom had just done the second dose of special lice killing shampoo. I was so convinced that she would find something. She had found one. I was sent home. I felt like dying would be easier at that point. Did the adults think the kids of the school would not figure it out? They told the other student that those of us sent home that day were sick or had a doctor’s appointment. No one bought that. I went home in tears. Two and half weeks later I was at the school getting checked in. At this point I had to have the nurse go through my hair again until see said I was bug free. My mother tried several times to get me back in school, but it was always something. A dead bug that was not removed properly, or a dead egg that was still attached to my hair. I still do not know why training on head lice is not something readily available to parents.