Bleed

 

I never thought it'd be this way...the taste of a man...so sweet, so delicately sensual. I couldn't resist myself...I've never quite been good at that. It's just that his kiss, his lips against mine, makes me feel so...weak. So imperfect. The way he brushes them against my body, the way his breath brings heat to my cool skin...the way his hands graze my most sensitive spots...I can't help but surrender myself to him...let him touch me as he pleases, to inflict pain as much as he wants...I've rendered myself into complete submission. And it wasn't always that way. There was a time I resisted. A time I fought against his manipulation. I couldn't stand to be someone's object of entertainment...someone's sex toy. I was a conceded idiot, heh, to think I could have possibly won in a battle of wills...Guess who lost? I did. And now, I'll give anything to have him with me, around me, against me. Anything.

Even as I sit here now, on my knees, aching from kneeling down on the floor for about an hour...my hands tied behind my back in black leather cuffs; a black blindfold covering my eyes from locking my hungry gaze on him. I lust for him. I tremble at the chill feel of the room...it’s always cold in here. My breaths are unsteady, as they're inhaled and exhaled from my parted lips. I can't help but feel the anticipation of fear and excitement at the same time. My pride has abandoned me, it leaves me shuddering and nearly breathless as I take a moment to tip my head back and imagine what he'll do to me this time. He could taunt me with his lips against my chest as they make their way lower and lower until they cease just above my swollen length. Or he could hurt me...make me cry out as the end of his whip licks the curve of my ass. Make me moan his name as he grips my cock and rubs it down raw. It's like I never had any pride to begin with.

I continue to strain my ears in the bare silence hearing only my own breaths, sounding frail, as well as the loud pulse in my head. My head lowers in front of me and I can't stand the feel of my muscles aching...but I don't dare move. I know I can't. I'm not supposed to. A cold shiver runs down my spine and my fists clench against each other...I'm not patient. Never have been...And yet he always does this; Makes me wait...In this cold, silent room.

What is it about him, I've always asked myself, that makes me shiver to his every breath? What makes me dream about him all damn day long? What makes me so...vulnerable in his gaze? I can only wonder why his presence confuses me, disrupts my pattern of thinking...makes me have to pretend that he doesn't affect me when he walks past me in the hallways...Of all the male students...It had to be him.

And he had to pick...me.

BLEED

He lifted his lazy gaze up from the notebook on his desk and settled it on the back of his teacher, whose hand was swiftly scribbling notes across the blackboard. He watched her legs shift their weight and her hip sway to one side and he nearly yawned. Class was almost over and someone nudged him, handing him a small piece of paper that had come from a student across the room. A cocky smile swept over his face and he shook his head at the student before pulling it open, his stormy eyes glancing up every few seconds to make sure no one, especially Mrs. Andrews, had noticed it in his possession. His smile widened as he flattened out the crinkled notebook paper against his open book and let his eyes scroll across the page. A quiet chuckle came from him and he took out a pen and began to write his own message down...amusement quickly taking over his boredom.

The bell rang and he lifted his head, snorting out his contempt and standing up. He grabbed his book and his things, and turned to follow his friend out and tell him how ridiculously bad timing he had for sending him a note at the end of class. They laughed out loud and as they made their way down the hallway, he glanced out the windowpanes at the pattering rain. It was in those few seconds, before facing forward again, that he was pushed against by some student he'd never met before in his life. He cursed as he glanced behind him and let his glare linger at the male who'd done it, their eyes meeting for a brief moment, before he turned towards his friend and began to complain about how no one ever had any sense of respect in the hallways. He never knew that in that moment he'd just met the male that would soon become his equal, master of his own body.

~

Contempt. That was all he felt for the entire school as he’d walked through the hallways. Everyone was trapped inside their tiny little world and they didn’t seem to care either. He was trapped too and it bothered him more than he’d admit to anyone. He was tired. Tired of the endlessly repetitious homework, assemblies, classes, sporting events, clubs trying to raise money and teachers who seemed pathetic. He needed more of an outlet.



Yurien pushed his glasses higher on his nose then shifted his instrument case to the other hand as classes broke and people began to pour out from the rooms. He didn’t make it in time. He preferred to make it to his locker before the bell rang so he didn’t have to worry about people bumping into the expensive instrument. He also hated to move out of other people’s way when walking down the hallway. He was usually carrying a heavy load or a large case and people who didn’t move for him were inconsiderate and beneath him. A few geeky girls across the hall in a group called out to him as he walked passed. He smiled at them and hid his contempt well. A girl who had been flirting with him all year called out “Yuri!” to him and waved and he hated her for it. They abbreviated his name in some strange attempt to appear more familiar and he didn’t even know their names. His good looks and naturally shapely body were the only things that saved him from a life of complete obscurity as another “band nerd,” but he wasn’t far from it and he hated that too.



He was nearly there. He blinked for a moment as he used his free hand to brush the medium length black hair back from his eyes. His bag was thankfully already in his locker. He merely had to stop there and grab it before he got in his car and drove home. It was at home that he found the only outlet he had, in something secret and precious. It wasn’t enough anymore though, and he had been looking for a way to take it to the next level for some time. He was nearly overwhelmed with a sense of being lost and closed his eyes again for another split second.



His violet eyes snapped open and he barely managed to move the heavy case out of the way before another student slammed straight into it. In moving it, he ran nearly full into the guy himself and it hurt more than just his pride. He barely maintained his façade of constant calm as they began to pass each other. He wanted to cuss and swear and scream his hate aloud to everyone, more than in that moment than ever before. Instead he swallowed it and directed it all out into a heated gaze at the other student. He didn’t care if the others saw that, they knew how protective he was of his cello.



It wasn’t until that moment that he realized who he’d bumped into and it took every ounce of self-control that he’d cultivated in his short life to keep from freezing in place and having his eyes widen with shock. He’d just bumped into the most popular guy in the school, Kaede - or ‘Cade’ as the others called him. His Japanese name was too hard for them to pronounce. He’d been watching Kaede very closely for their last three years together at high school. Now that their senior year was half over, Kaede was more popular than ever. He knew he was going to catch grief for it later, but he had to be himself rather than let on his true thoughts about the other student.



He continued to glare at the other guy while he turned towards his locker. The other student had long since turned away and kept walking, but Yurien couldn’t let go of his anger, visibly anyway. His precious instrument had nearly been hurt too. He slammed his locker shut a few moments later and then made his way out of the building. He was suddenly taken with determination when he came out under the cloud covered sky. The world seemed to be speaking its approval and even admiration of his mood. He would make that man his new outlet. He’d have to make sure he somehow obtained Kaede for his own, and made him a part of his new ideas for an extended outlet.

~

"Got to remember...Science, Math...History...Damn, I hate history homework, it’s always essays-" He was shoving one of his books into his locker and pulling out his Ancient History textbook into his school bag, complaining to himself as a familiar girl came up to stand beside him. She opened his locker door wider and smiled up at him, being a few inches shorter than his own height. "Talking to yourself, Kaede?" He glanced over with furrowed brows and snorted when he saw the recently dyed dark red hair and brown eyes. She couldn't stop combing it, as if it would tangle and fall off if she didn't...or rather because she wanted to show off its new gleam to the other girls.



After staring at her with disdain, he rolled his eyes and reached into his locker for his computer bag and two notebooks, taking the strap carefully and swinging it over his shoulder, then stuffing his notebooks in his bag. He was crouched down on the floor and the girl, named Cassidy, stepped forward in an attempt to 'help him'. He lifted a hand and shook his head, "No thanks, I got this. I've got a lot of activities going on after school, so if you don't mind, I'm in a bit of a rush here." He lied to see if she'd make her leave. She didn't budge. Sighing, exasperated, "Cassidy? Not today, not tomorrow...not ever. Now if you'll please move?"



She dropped her gaze and crossed her fingers in front of her, her skirt swaying and giving him a brief view of her polka dotted panties. He cursed himself and stood back up, adjusting the weight of his bag over his shoulder. "But hey...you’re not looking too bad. Maybe you should ask Evan out. He's sure to say yes." And he began to walk away, having closed his locker shut and been relieved of any further duties in the school. She began to follow him, asking him questions as to why he could never say yes and complaining about everything she'd done for him, which was really nothing, and finally grabbing his sleeve and tugging him to a stop, where he turned around and glared at her. "I have better things going on, that's why! Now leave me alone, go find your girlfriends or something. I'm unavailable."



"Why do you have to be such a dick about it? You’re not dating anyone, you could at least go out to [one] lunch with me...please?" She huffed where she stood and was now frowning back at him. He had to admit, she was cute...but too clingy. He hadn't even gone out on a date with her yet and she was clingy. He shrugged and gave her a cocky smirk as he replied, "Sorry. I really don't care to. Have a good afternoon!" He said as he turned back towards the exiting doors and into the cloudy afternoon, headed for his own vehicle, an old Mercedes that had a crack in the rear window and a few dents and rusts all around. He hated the thing, but swore he'd restore it someday. He shoved his bags into the back seats and pulled out his sunglasses from the cubby hole just underneath his CD player, then sat and waited impatiently for his best friend to show up. He flicked his thumbs against each other as he held on to the wheel, and then saw him in the distance just as another roll of thunder passed overhead.



The dark brown-haired male slipped into the passenger's seat with his book bag settling on his lap and he groaned as he turned to face Kaede and nodded for him to go. Kaede didn't waste a second, and he pulled out quickly and hit the acceleration.

~

He got to his new car and hit the button in his pocket for the automatic locks. The car was an early graduation present from his rich parents, in absentia. They had literally called up a dealership and told them to let him pick any car on the lot that he wanted. In the end, he picked a fancy new race car and he still wasn’t sure why. Maybe he hoped to provoke some response from his parents about recklessness or whatever parents are supposed to say to their kids these days. He gingerly placed his cello into the well-padded trunk and walked around to the driver’s side door when he was done.



He climbed into the car, bending his height low to get into the car that was already low to the ground compared to most. He set his heavy book bag into the passenger seat and shut the door. As lightening licked the clouds above him, he slammed his hand against the steering wheel in frustration. Why did he have to bump into Kaede of all people? Beautiful and amazing Kaede.



He distracted himself with something on the dash before starting his car. When he glanced up he saw Kaede getting into his car and then waiting for his friend. Everything was like normal. Did he even care that I bumped into him? Yurien waited patiently, like normal. He knew he was somewhat obvious in his car, but he really did have to go the same way home as Kaede every day. Besides, he doubted Kaede even noticed. So it wasn’t weird that he waited for Kaede to leave first everyday right?



Not that Yurien had much to do when he got home anyway. He lived in a small two bedroom apartment, alone. His parents, who loved that he played the cello and came to every single performance, couldn’t stand to listen to him practice every single day for hours. They offered him the apartment and paid for his living expenses, but he rarely saw them anymore. They even paid money to have the apartment sound-proofed so he wouldn’t disturb his neighbors. He rarely understood their logic. However, having the second room afforded him ample space for his hobbies aside from what they knew about.



He watched as Kaede pulled away and then pulled out himself. He left the lot a bit more slowly than Kaede, simply because he didn’t like to drive recklessly with the cello in the car. His mind was racing as he followed Kaede for the umpteenth time that year. He understood Kaede’s routine by now, but his nervousness this time was born of something else. He’d been lusting after Kaede for many years now, but this was the first time he’d been in physical contact with him. This was the first time that he’d begun to picture him as a true part of his hobbies, and not just a tiny little fantasy. He was determined to make it true and his heart raced right alongside his mind.

~

The music came on, a heavy pulsing rock band that numbed out any sounds coming from outside as the two friends began to discuss and complain about the same girl that had been begging to go out with Kaede since the freshman year. Kaede lowered both windows down and let the fresh breeze blow in and sweep his hair in all sorts of directions. The ash-blond layers blew just over his eyes and brushed past his ears as he let his arm hang outside the car. He glanced at the rear-view mirror to make sure there were no cops in the vicinity, then he hit the acceleration once more and his passenger, Audrey, pulled out a cigarette and raised his window half way so that he could light it safely without the wind blowing it out.



They made it to the first shopping center they could find, and pulled into a parking spot near the restaurant he was about to enter. He left the car on standby as he got out and closed the door then bent down to speak to Audrey from the window, "What do you want? A pita? Or a sub?"



"Give me a steakhouse pita. And a Coke." The guy responded and pulled out some cash, handing it to Kaede before the male began making his way into the deli style restaurant. He stood in line for about seven minutes, then ordered himself his own sandwich and put in his friend's order and after getting them both in a small plastic bag to go, he got them both two large sodas and made his way back out with his sunglasses tucked in his jean pocket. His hair was still tousled in a mess as he set everything down on the roof of the car, then popped his door open and handed Audrey the food and drinks. For a moment, he glanced over his shoulder and looked around, feeling eyes on him and shrugging it away when he didn't immediately see anything of interest. Kaede simply slipped back into his car and began to pull out; this time heading in the direction of his home.



His father lived in a big city, a few hours away from where Kaede lived. He'd divorced his mother when he was four years old, and came by every so often to spend some time with him. But in all honesty, Kaede just didn't have the heart to tell him he wasn't interested. His mother was a sweet woman, easy to get along with for the most part, but she was incredibly strict about his schooling, and recently she'd decided to go on a month trip to Hawaii to do some more studying on her Oceanography. It's what she did for a living, and though she got to go on countless trips around the world simply to do her job, she had never invited Kaede to come along. He needed to continue to go to school...she'd say. And by now he'd given up on asking and just saw her absence as an excuse to do what he wanted at the house, to party, to have friends over, to drink, smoke, whatever pleased him. She wouldn't notice anyways.



Audrey spent the night at his house, and the next day they drove out together back to school and Kaede just barely made it on time to his first class period. A few students greeted him; another few tried their best to ignore him as he moved to his seat and sat down. Sighing in relief, he leaned back in his seat and ran a hand through his hair before pulling his text book open and smirking at one of the girls that had glanced back at him with disgust. That girl in particular had seen him drunk at a party, and since then refused to acknowledge him properly, but as many rumors as she tried to spread, none had succeeded so far. He swept through the book's pages until he landed on the topic for the day...hormones. Great...now we get to learn all about puberty. As if we haven't heard of that before... Then he glanced over, and two rows away there was that dark-headed male he'd bumped into the other day, pushing his glasses up with his forefinger as he stared down quietly at his text book. Why hadn't he ever noticed him before?

~

He looked down at the sheet of paper in front of him. He’d placed it in his notebook so the teacher wouldn’t see that he wasn’t paying attention. As if he needed this lame ass sexual education part of health anyway. The note was nearly complete though, so it was all he could think about. He stared down at his own scrawling script, extremely nice for a male’s handwriting, and pondered what he should write last before giving it away. He read it back to himself once more.



I’ve been watching you some time now, and I’m becoming disappointed with what I see. Everything and everyone else in this school is beyond redemption; however, you show potential. Lately though, you’ve sadly been lacking in discipline. I’m beginning to think you need a teacher. I could be that teacher for you, while I grind you under my heel. I will tie you up and I will make you bleed, and you will learn to behave…



How should he sign it though, since he didn’t want to put his name there? The last thing he wanted to do was wind up be arrested or something. How about something simple and to the point? He smiled and signed the note, Your New Master. Slowly and quietly as he could, he folded the note and slid it up his sleeve. He was wearing a dress shirt with a red tie today; the jacket to match his slacks was in his locker. He had a dress rehearsal for his next performance after school today. The performance would be until the next night at the city auditorium, for him and the entire school orchestra.



Yurien thought hard about how to deliver the note. Should he pin it to his car, or leave it in his locker? Right as he began to fret, the teacher announced their new assignment. They all had to write an essay. Yurien rolled his eyes, disgusted with the tittering he knew he’d hear from the girls later over the subject of their essays. That was when the teacher announced a desire to not grade twenty similar papers and forced everyone to stand. They would have to draw a topic from a hat, one of five possibilities. He nearly rushed to the front of the class to be one of the first to draw his slip of paper.



Everyone had lined up behind the initial group, and Yurien had to cautiously walk around them all. Thankfully it provided the perfect opportunity, as the crowd blocked the aisle-way to his seat. He walked down the aisle that Kaede sat on, and saw to his luck that the top zipper in his bag was open. Without slowing, he let the note fall into the hole and then made his way back to his seat. His heart thudded heavily in his chest and he was nearly certain that everyone could hear it, when everyone had sat down once more. A few minutes later the class bell rang, and he was slow to get up and leave. He was still in a daze from the adrenaline rush of acting so boldly.

~

Until the bell rang, Kaede spent his free class time that they'd been given, to brainstorm on their essays, to chat with a friend of his that sat just beside him. Another two students, one male and one female, came over with their books to join into the conversation and Kaede kept making jokes and telling funny stories making all the others laugh. Someone called to him from across the room and brushed past Yurien, knocking the side of his desk and making all his pens and papers scatter. The guy was a thicker chested jockey, with short brown hair and a terrible smile. But he was another one of the popular kids because apparently all the girls had the hots for whatever was underneath his clothes.



When the bell finally rang, Kaede began to shove his book and notebooks back into his bag that sat beside his chair, and wasn't paying attention to the note that got buried deeper into the depths of his book bag. He slung the strap over his shoulder and left with a pair of friends, one of them being the girl that had been sitting on his desk earlier. They all headed for their next classes and Kaede took a moment to stop in the restroom to get a quick relief, and nearly left without his book bag. Having gone back, he stared at himself in the mirror, smirked and brushed some of his bangs aside. I need a trim...damn. Mom would be complaining by now. He thought and made his way back out.



The next class was just as dull as Science had been, because it was a Thursday, and apparently every teacher was allowed to give their students something that would occupy them during the entire weekend, especially because the upcoming week was going to be the last until spring break started. Kaede couldn't wait. He was planning on getting one of Audrey's older brothers to buy them plenty of liquor so that he could throw a party mid-week, and maybe get a few girls to stay over with him and his friends...that could work. He mentally enthused about the vacation plans as he continued to copy notes from the projection screen, and when his pen seemed to have run out, he cursed quietly and dipped a hand into his bag to search for another one. It was then that he came across a folded paper that he swore he couldn't remember it being there this morning. His book bag was always clean...



His brows furrowed and he lifted it up onto his desk, glanced around to make sure the male teacher was busy lecturing them about ancient letters, and unfolded it twice to reveal a very nicely written note, which didn't look at all familiar. His eyes focused on it and when he was done, he reread it and smiled to himself. "Fuckin' great...Now she's shoving notes into my stuff." He muttered to himself and crumbled the piece of paper, letting it sit on the top right corner of his desk and resumed his mission of finding a working pen in his bag.

~

Yurien wondered and sweated over when Kaede would finally see the note. Maybe he wouldn’t find it until he went home? Maybe that would be better, since Yurien wasn’t sure he could handle actually seeing him read it anyway. He glanced across the room at the other student, taking his notes. He was further away from Kaede in this class, but it provided a better chance for covert glances without being noticed by those around him.



He noticed then that Kaede had begun to dug in his bag and come up with the note in hand. He fixed his eyes nervously on the front of the classroom and his heart jumped up into his throat. A slight whimper nearly escaped from him and his eyes widened. Why was he suddenly putting himself through all of this? Yes, he’d always watched Kaede from a distance, but he had assumed that he’d graduate this year with nothing having ever come over this childhood crush. If everyone else were to suddenly find out his was gay, what would he do about that even? Dammit, what have I done? He asked himself.



He heard the sound of crumpling paper and snapped his head to the sound. Kaede set the rumpled sheet on the corner of his desk and Yurien stared. Kaede resumed digging in his bag and Yurien couldn’t help but pull his glasses off and rub his eyes. He felt a heat pouring through him. Was this what humiliation felt like? His vision had blurred even before the glasses had come off, and it was worse now when he opened his eyes again. He was nearly seeing red as he became angry. Not angry, he was burning up a fury and he wasn’t even sure why.



He turned the page in his notebook and began to write another note. He wasn’t even sure what he was writing until he was nearly done. When he was nearly finished he wondered how he was even going to go about delivering this second note. It wasn’t like divine providence would strike him again two periods in a row. He didn’t care though, as he wrote the last sentence and noisily ripped the sheet from the booklet. He folded it up without re-reading it, and then clutched it tightly until the end of class.



In the hallway outside, pressed by bodies on all sides, he rushed to catch up with Kaede. He’d been sitting closer to the door, so he’d made good time ahead of him. Yurien wasn’t thinking straight, taken over by the rush of blood to his head, and when he got close enough he reached out the hand holding the note towards Kaede’s back. The top of the other student’s bag was still slightly opened, and he intended to drop it in there again.



Right as he was letting go of the note, Kaede’s friend looked sideways and saw him there. Yurien panicked and before anything could be said or done, he spun on his heel and walked off quickly in the other direction. He may have seen him there, reaching out, but hopefully he never saw the note fall into Kaede’s bag. Yurien was uncertain though and he felt like he would pass out in a minute if he didn’t reach his class quickly.



The second note read:



That was a very naughty thing you just did, you little fool. I told you that you were lacking discipline, didn’t I? I simply will require that you allow me to teach you a lesson now. And don’t mistake this letter for being from some love-struck little girl. No girl will ever be able to please you the way I will when I get my hands on you. But you’ve been a very naughty boy, and naughty boys must be punished before they can be rewarded. Perhaps I shall make you take your private lessons through spring break? Hope you have nothing important planned - if so you’d better cancel it because I will get my way no matter what. Wait for my call tonight.



Your Very Angry Master

~

Lunch came around, and Kaede had put all his things away in his locker as he headed to the large common room where all the small cafe's and food lines were set up. He walked side by side with his best friend Audrey talking to him about the new concert they wanted to go to, until he found a good seat and leaned his elbows back against the table as he flirted at a group of three girls coming up towards the table. A few more students joined and before long there was a large group huddled around Kaede, some sitting and eating their lunches and some standing beside him while one of the girls, a black haired girl this time, sat on his lap as if she were his girlfriend.



Lunch was about forty minutes long, and he felt refreshed after having spent some time with people he knew. The next period only felt long because it was a lot of time spent reading, which he didn't usually mind, but the closer it got to spring break, the less he could focus on school. Besides…He was an A student, did it matter if he did or didn’t concentrate on his work?



When the day was nearly over, he decided he'd had enough and left to go to his car, deciding he'd skip the last class and go smoke while the lot was still empty of other students and teachers. He'd taken his bag and his day's homework with him, setting it on the floor of the passenger's seat and leaning back into his seat as he pulled out a rolled joint from the dashboard. He glanced around, and satisfied with no other sign of life anywhere near him, he lit it and took his first deep inhale, letting it out as slow as he could as he closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the seat.



He began to softly sing a song he'd remembered listening to that morning and after a few minutes, he glanced around once more and settled for another set of puffs before discarding the small joint outside his window. It wasn't long before he pulled out of his parking lot and headed home. It was that night though that he was rummaging through his bag, pulling out his homework papers and text books, that another folded piece of paper fell out and he was slightly at odds with himself, because he could have sworn it was deja-vu for him. He unfolded it on his computer desk and read it under the lamp lighting, feeling a bit more confused now and wondering whether this was someone's idea of a joke or not.



This time, he didn't crumble it up. Instead he folded it back up and slipped it into his first drawer, to keep it in case he needed to return to it at some other point in time. Do I have a stalker now? He asked himself as he laid down on his bed and spread his arms out over his head. He fell asleep with the thought drifting around in his mind, and didn't bother to come back to it until the next day.

~

Yurien arrived at his next class without passing out. All through that class, lunch and even the rest of the school day he was too distracted to pay proper attention anymore. His stomach rolled and heaved on him and he felt lost all day. It was most apparent when he arrived at music practice in his last period. It was going to go late, past the end of the school day for his dress rehearsal. Yurien was distracted and even once played the wrong song. Then the final bell rang.



Since he took his playing so seriously and was consistently the best in the class, the teacher knew something was wrong and looked concerned for Yurien. She came up and placed a gentle hand upon his shoulder. She was small, slender, and young. Yurien knew she was attracted to him as well, from her behavior over the last two years since she started at the school. Were he interested, he knew it would be a short matter to begin with her - but he wasn’t. He brushed her hand aside and stood up suddenly.



Before she could finish voicing her question about how he was feeling, he’d re-cased his cello. He glanced around the room as though he were seeing it really for the first time that day. He turned to her and bowed his head slightly, “Sorry, I’ll be going home for today. I’ll see you all tomorrow at the recital.” He then picked up his case and walked out of the room, not hearing the whispers that hissed behind him.



He got out into the halls late enough that most of the crowds had dispersed. The cars in the parking lot were equally sparse. He looked around after putting the cello in the trunk and saw that Kaede’s car was gone, as expected. He got angry and pulled out of the parking lot recklessly. He sped the whole way home and then left his expensive instrument in the trunk of his car.



Yurien walked into his apartment and slammed the door behind him. He grabbed a bottle of wine off the counter that had been sent to him by his parents. He popped the cork, then turned on his radio with obnoxious, loud music. He threw himself down on the couch and then hit a button on his remote to shut off all the lights. The barest light seeped in through the edges of the curtains as he took a large swig off the wine bottle. It was very acidic and burned his throat because he didn’t drink it properly. He didn’t care though. At the moment all he wanted was to get drunk.



Half way through the bottle he stood up from the couch and stumbled towards his second bedroom. He let the door fall open and looked upon his collection of bondage gear strewn around the walls upon multiple hooks and pitons. He could already feel it in his gut that he was not going to call Kaede tonight, like he’d said in the note. He felt the need to punish himself for his cowardice. Plus, it might be the only thing to make him feel a little better right now. He walked in and shut the door behind himself.