A Full Time Position

"You're hired."

"Thank you, ma'am," George O'Heart, said happily. He reached across the desk and shook the hand of his new boss, flashing her what he hoped was a winning smile. At 24 years old ex-student was in desperate need of a job, or had been before he was given the job as a bookseller at the local Page-A-Day as a bookseller. Six foot even with shaggy brown hair and the kind of build that can only be earned by avoiding developing any other kind of build, he had discovered quite painfully that his mother had been right when she had said that he wouldn't make it on his good looks alone. A mantra that she had repeated five minutes before kicking him out of the house for good. Well, except for Sunday dinners and doing laundry on the weekends. She wasn't a completely heartless bitch after all.

"You're welcome," his new boss said, taking his hand. Naomi was a typical small store manager, middle aged and going nowhere, with wrinkles from a smile so fake that the best plastic surgeons in the nation would have killed to take pictures for case studies. That was fine with George; six years of acting school had given him the ability to bullshit with the best of them. "I'm going to be running you on the weekday shifts," she continued. "Hours are eight to four, ten to six on Fridays. You'll be working with Samantha and Joanne, primarily, though the kiddie brigade works after school."

"Kiddie brigade?" George asked, curious about the strange term.

"Oh, a trio of ninnies that I hired from the high school across the street," Carol answered, waving a hand dismissively. "You know the type, dumb, blonde, and wearing low cut shirts. It actually keeps the losses down. The guys who come in are normally too busy staring down the girls' shirts to bother putting anything down their own. The girls basically get paid to flirt."

"That's...an interesting management policy," George admitted with a nod of his head.

"Its a working one," Naomi said cheerfully. She picked up his stack of working papers and shuffled them together, banging them against the table to get them properly sorted, then stuffed them into a manila envelope before tucking it under her arm as she stood up. "Now, I've got to get back to the regional store, so I'm going to leave you alone with Sam and Jo for now. Between the two of them the girls should get you properly trained, and if you have any questions they should be able to answer them. If they don't, give me a call over at the home store and I'll see what I can do."

"Uh, ok," George answered. He started to get to his own feet but she was already in her coat and headed past him.

"Anylastquestions?" she asked quickly as she breezed out the door.

"Uh..." He began, only for the door to clang shut, leaving him abandoned in the room. He spun around in the chair so that he was facing the shelves full of books. "Nah, I'm going to say that I don't have anything else to ask. Oh, don't get up, I can show myself out, its no problem..."

"Hey, new guy, you always talk to yourself?"

George whirled around in his seat to find himself face to breasts with a rather cute brunette. She wasn't all that tall, maybe only five-four or so, with long, straight brown hair the fell across her shoulders, framing the cut of her shirt, highlighting slight curve of her breasts. What really caught his attention was the green of her eyes, the bright green of freshly bloomed oak leaves. Her eyes sparkled with the same sense of humor that made her smile in a slightly crooked way.

"Uh, maybe?" he answered. "Why, should I stop?"

"Nah, its actually a pretty good survival mechanism for around here," she replied, extending one slender hand in his direction. "I'm Joanne, by the way, though you can call me Jo, most people do. Makes me sound like less lady, I guess, though if you call me Joey I'll kick your ass from here to the far side of the river. Since Naomi ran out of her faster than a soccer mom with a bad credit card, I guess its up to me to answer any questions you might actually have."

"Uh, is she...?" George tried, looking for the right words.

"Crazier than a pigeon in a glass box? More hyped up than a toddler who chugged a venti espresso?" Jo offered. "Yeah, pretty much. The good news is that she spends most of her time working out of the home store in Grey Hills. That pretty much leaves the store to me and Sammy."

"She leaves the two of you alone her? What if it gets busy?" George asked.

"Well, there's normally a third person running around with us, though admittedly people haven't been lasting long. I think you'll be the fifth new hire this month."

"The fifth? What happened to the rest?" George wasn't sure if he was supposed to be worried or perplexed. The economy wasn't all that great, so most people were trying to hold on to jobs...

"Well, let's see," Jo said, ticking off the names one by one on her fingers. "Danny ended up getting crushed under a box tower. Sam asked Anna for a bucket of steam so that she could clean the bathroom, and the poor girl went stir crazy trying to find it-"

"Bucket of steam?" George asked incredulously.

"Eh, we were bored," Jo said with a shrug. "Anyway, that was Anna. Mike got caught stealing from the till, so that really wasn't anyone's fault but his. Liz just got a better job offer, to be blunt about it. Aaaaaaand Tony got eaten by a grue."

"A what!?" George blurted out.

Jo shrugged again. "I told him not to go into the back stacks by himself. The idiot didn't listen. Ooooh!" she declared as a flash of insight hit her. "Let that be your first lesson: don't go into the back stacks by yourself."

"Or what, I'll get eaten by a grue?" George asked with a nervous laugh.

"Hmmm, maybe," Jo said all too seriously. "Its kinda unlikely though. Things don't generally repeat themselves out in the back stacks. You're more likely to end up getting mugged by a grumblywomp or something like that. Just for the record, who's your next of kin?"

"My next of kin?" George repeated. "Um, I think its listed under my emergency contact info..."

"Good, good," Jo said happily. "Well, let's go show you around the places that won't kill you then. Come with me!" She grabbed him by the hand and yanked him out of the chair so fast that it was left spinning in her wake. They bounded out into the show room of the store, almost knocking over an elderly gentleman browsing the Sports section.

"Sorry, Mr. Merley!" Jo called out as they went past.

"Oh, that's alright dear," the man answered without turning around. "And how is your mother?"

"Dead of the plague, sir!" Jo answered without stopping.

"Well, that's nice dear. Do you know where they keep new hot rod books?"

"I put them on the third shelf this time, Mr. Merley! There wasn't any room left of the second!"

"Why thank you dear," he said as he reached for the third shelf. There was a moment of clumsy fumbling before he pulled a copy of Hot Rod Babes out from between the other books. It quickly and cleanly disappeared between a large print copy of Moby Dick and The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.

"Hot rods?" George asked as they reached the front of the store.

"Its a little joke," Jo explained. "Its really a skin mag that he picks up, but it poses as car aficionado magazine. Mr. Merley's wife works in the pharmacy across the street, and she can see the magazine racks. If he goes over there to look, she comes storming in here to pull him away from them, This way he gets to hide in the back of the store and I don't have to deal with the crazy bitch."

"That bad, huh?" George sympathized.

"You have nooo idea," Jo said, shaking her head. "The last time she was in here, it took us four hours to get rid of her. We ended up ringing customers up around her in the middle of her rant. She ended up repeating herself twelve times."

"You counted?"

"You kidding?" she scoffed. "We taped it. Use it to haze newbies like you when they piss me off."

"So, you're in charge here, then?" George asked in amusement.

"Pretty much," Jo answered with a nod. "So long as Naomi isn't around. at any rate. Its ok though, I should be pretty easy to get along with. Anyways, let's get you introduced to the rest of the crew, shall we? Sam, come here!"

"Yeah, what's up?" Samantha asked as she poked her head out from behind a shelf. Where Joanne was petite, Samantha was tall, with a lush set of curves that didn't seem over exaggerated for the body that carried them. She had long, curly hair that fell all over, but that was a noticeably secondary detail. What really stood out to George's attention was the low cut blouse she was wearing, which perfectly displayed the soft swell of her breasts and just the right amount of cleavage to make a man give up thinking in favor of drooling. "Who is this?"

"Sam, meet George. George, this is Sam," Jo introduced.

"So you're the new meat, huh? Well, I hope you do better than the last bunch," Samantha said as she shook his hand.

"Is it really that bad?" George asked.

"I dunno," Samantha said with a shrug. "It can actually be pretty fun, if you have the right temperament for it."

"Quick, pop quiz!" Jo announced. "First question! Sam and I are rude, crude, and very, very lewd. Is this a problem?"

"Um, no?" George guessed.

"Question two! Are you rude, crude, and very, very lewd?"

"I guess I can be..."

"And that completes our quiz!" Jo announced with a huge smile. "Thanking you for partaking, and welcome to your new job. Now, go shelve books or something like that. Just take the ones that are in the back room and find a place on them out front. If you need to take the ones in front and put them in back, just make sure that you leave a few copies up front, got it?"

"Uh, sure," George answered. He began to whistle as he turned and walked towards the storage section. 'Maybe it won't be so bad, working here,' he thought. 'Who knows? Maybe there will even be a few extra...bonuses too.' Even as he thought it, things began to perk up.

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"Well, what do you think?" Jo demanded as soon as she was sure that he was out of earshot.

"Well, he's no Brad Pitt..." Sam answered, only to squeal when Jo poked her in the side. "Ok, ok, so I think he's cute too! Happy now?"

"Mhmm," Jo replied as she licked her lips. "The question is, share and share alike, or every girl for herself?"

"Oh, share, definitely. Wouldn't want you to get jealous when he picks me over you, after all," Samantha teased as she poked Jo back.

"Oh please, like that would happen," Jo said, rolling her eyes. "Cocky wench."

"Like that's the cock you're thinking about!"