Ivan Kosin
folder
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
18
Views:
14,742
Reviews:
84
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
18
Views:
14,742
Reviews:
84
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Ivan Kosin
At the suggestion of readers, I have removed Ivan Kosin's story from August and placed it here, as a separate entity, instead. Old chapters are unchanged. New chapters will be added here.
May 2: Monday
In his room in the executive tower of the Brookham Carrier Education Centre, Ivan Kosin was sitting in his bedroom, making a list of what he needed to do.
The day was short. He didn't have much time. He needed a car; he couldn't take his own - it had transmitters all over it. He needed a few maps, and enough painkillers to last him, and someplace safe to go. He could go to his father's cabin, but if things went wrong...it wasn't a good place to be. He needed a safehouse. Ivan knew they existed - he'd once led a campaign to stamp out their use. Sixteen men who had been sheltering carriers had been locked up.
Ivan ran his hands over his hair. He wondered if he should shave it, change his appearance. He decided against that - it would only look suspicious. Everything had to look normal.
Maybe he should go to his father's cabin. No, better not to be someplace he could be found. Fuck Henrik Angstrom for this. Ivan suddenly wondered what he was even doing - was this a temporary? Was it forever? Henrik Angstrom would pay. He had planned for temporary, but how would that even work? All it would take would be one leak, one accusation...and Henrik Angstrom knew. He knew, the bastard, because he had done this. Rage, and then suddenly, the anguish of memory mingled with jealousy swept over Ivan. In university, they had had a tryst, he and Henrik, if it could have been called that. It had been simple, harmless, a few nights here and there in Ivan's small dorm room, with his books and his painting of Lake Baikal hanging over them. Henrik would come in, late in the evenings, after outings with his friends, and he would arrive at Ivan's with his shirt half-done in that peculiar way he'd had back then, and knock on the doorframe and just looked at him. Then he'd lock the door behind himself. They were always in Ivan's room, never Henrik's. Henrik had been gentle with him, his touch infinitely kind, but they had never spoken of it to anyone else - not even close friends. It had been their secret, and it had destroyed Ivan for three years to keep it.
But that was the way it had been then...not like now. Things had had to be kept secret then. For a second shorter than he could even mark it, Ivan felt a sort of glee - with the change, maybe this was his opportunity...but no, he had been only yesterday at Henrik's wedding. He had, only yesterday, met his new carrier bride. Then hatred welled up again - Henrik Angstrom had done this to him. And the pain of rejection followed because it made clear what he had always known - that Henrik didn't want him, never had. If he'd loved him, he would have done this to him a long time ago, or at least never at all. But not now. Not when there was nothing left for him; no chance of rekindling. Emotion tickled his gut, but just as quickly, Ivan deadened it.
He needed a jeep.
~:~
May 2: Monday
In his room in the executive tower of the Brookham Carrier Education Centre, Ivan Kosin was sitting in his bedroom, making a list of what he needed to do.
The day was short. He didn't have much time. He needed a car; he couldn't take his own - it had transmitters all over it. He needed a few maps, and enough painkillers to last him, and someplace safe to go. He could go to his father's cabin, but if things went wrong...it wasn't a good place to be. He needed a safehouse. Ivan knew they existed - he'd once led a campaign to stamp out their use. Sixteen men who had been sheltering carriers had been locked up.
Ivan ran his hands over his hair. He wondered if he should shave it, change his appearance. He decided against that - it would only look suspicious. Everything had to look normal.
Maybe he should go to his father's cabin. No, better not to be someplace he could be found. Fuck Henrik Angstrom for this. Ivan suddenly wondered what he was even doing - was this a temporary? Was it forever? Henrik Angstrom would pay. He had planned for temporary, but how would that even work? All it would take would be one leak, one accusation...and Henrik Angstrom knew. He knew, the bastard, because he had done this. Rage, and then suddenly, the anguish of memory mingled with jealousy swept over Ivan. In university, they had had a tryst, he and Henrik, if it could have been called that. It had been simple, harmless, a few nights here and there in Ivan's small dorm room, with his books and his painting of Lake Baikal hanging over them. Henrik would come in, late in the evenings, after outings with his friends, and he would arrive at Ivan's with his shirt half-done in that peculiar way he'd had back then, and knock on the doorframe and just looked at him. Then he'd lock the door behind himself. They were always in Ivan's room, never Henrik's. Henrik had been gentle with him, his touch infinitely kind, but they had never spoken of it to anyone else - not even close friends. It had been their secret, and it had destroyed Ivan for three years to keep it.
But that was the way it had been then...not like now. Things had had to be kept secret then. For a second shorter than he could even mark it, Ivan felt a sort of glee - with the change, maybe this was his opportunity...but no, he had been only yesterday at Henrik's wedding. He had, only yesterday, met his new carrier bride. Then hatred welled up again - Henrik Angstrom had done this to him. And the pain of rejection followed because it made clear what he had always known - that Henrik didn't want him, never had. If he'd loved him, he would have done this to him a long time ago, or at least never at all. But not now. Not when there was nothing left for him; no chance of rekindling. Emotion tickled his gut, but just as quickly, Ivan deadened it.
He needed a jeep.
~:~