Embracing a new life

A/N: I have roughly reviewed the first chapters, fused some of them (twenty chapters turned to seventeen) and corrected some mistakes.

Chapter 1: Headaches

A few scattered snowflakes tumbled down from the thick clouds that covered the sky. It was not cold enough fort them to linger. Most melted the instant they touched the surface of one of the puddles that covered the ground.

River sat in a window seat of the book shop, gazing out, while his cousin Eriko leafed through a guidebook for expectant mothers. She was in Edinburgh over the weekend; alone, because her husband had work to do in London.

“I think I’ll take this,” she jumped up and went to the counter.

River followed her.

“Shall we go upstairs afterwards?” the young woman asked him while they waited in the small row of customers. It was the day before Valentine’s, and therefore the shop was overcrowded by people who sought for a nice piece of poetry or Valentine cards. “I think I saw a sign that said there was a café.”

“Yeah, why not,” the blond man answered indifferently.

Ten minutes later, they stood in front of the showcase of the café. The place was furnished stylishly with dark furniture setting off against the sand-coloured walls and many well-groomed plants. Under different circumstances, River would probably have enjoyed the stay.

“Mh, that chocolate cake looks yummy, don’t you think? I think I’ll get a slice. D’you want one, too?” Eriko asked and looked at her younger cousin expectantly.

He shook his head, his dark eyes whose shape was the only indicator that River had the same Japanese ancestry that Eriko had, eyed the cake morosely. “No, I’ll just have a coffee. Don’t feel like eating right now.”

The tables at the windows were all taken, so they settled down at one in a corner. Eriko continued talking excitedly about her pregnancy, how Hayashi, her newly-wed husband, had reacted to the message, and how that would change their life until their drinks and the cake were served.

“…but I’m talking and talking and you hardly say a word! How are you?” she finally asked River as she seized her pastry fork. “You look gloomy.”

River forced a half-hearted smile. “It’s nothing; just a slight headache.”

“Oh…” His cousin looked at him empathetically. “Usually I always have a headache tablet at hand, but now with the baby… D’you want me to ask the waitress for one?” Eriko turned around to look for her.

“No, don’t,” River held her back. “I’m sure it’ll go away on its own.”

“Really?” she eyed him worriedly.

“Yes,” he assured. River lifted up his spoon and stirred his coffee listlessly, although he had added neither sugar nor milk. He knew better. His last attempt at such things had forced him to remain bent over a toilet bowl for the better part of an hour. No repetition desired.

His stomach growled, fortunately not loud enough to be heard over the chattering that surrounded them.

“So, what brought you to Scotland?” Eriko enquired. “I thought your Andreji owned a house in France? It’s not even been a year since you moved there!?”

River sipped his coffee, secretly taxing his brain for a plausible reply. He shrugged. “Andreji’s decision. He’s had a bit of trouble with the community he used to live in, and now they’ve settled their differences and we’ve moved back in.”

“A shared flat? Didn’t think he was the type for that… He looked a bit older than you. I mean, not taking into account his white hair, he has at least ten years on you, hasn’t he? I’d say he’s in the middle of his thirties…”

River shrugged again, trying to hide how uncomfortable the questions were to him. “It’s not flat sharing. It’s more like an autonomous community with an alternative lifestyle.” He hated telling half-truths.

“I’d love to see that; to see where you’re living. Couldn’t we go home to you when we’re finished here?” Eriko asked with gleaming eyes.

River was quick to shake his head. “No. They don’t like outsiders there. We’re redesigning the place at the moment anyway. Painting walls, setting up new furniture, stuff like that… The whole place is in chaos, since they’re reorganising the community.”

Eriko made a surprised face. “‘They’ do? Sounds a little detached…”

Another shrug. “As you say – Andreji’s older than me and so are the others. It’s not that easy to be new in a community in which people have been knowing each other for years.” He sipped his coffee. “But there are a few people I’m on friendly terms with, don’t worry,” he added quickly as he saw Eriko’s sceptical look. “It’s just that I concentrate on my relationship with Andreji. The rest is nice but not that important.”

Eriko eyed him intently for a while. Something seemed to go on in her mind.

River looked into his cup, avoiding her stare.

Mellow piano music played in the background.

“It’s not one of those obscure sects, is it?” she asked her cousin with serious concern.

River snorted and broke out into a soft laughter. “No. Definitely not. No apocalyptic visions, no group sex, no drugs.” He grinned at her.

She smiled back. “Good.” She sipped her latte macchiato. “Ever since you’ve come together with your Andreji, we don’t get to see much of you. We’re just wondering if you’re alright, you know?”

“Now, come on!” River answered her back. He counted off on his fingers, “I’ve been to your wedding in November, I’ve visited you on Christmas Day, and we’re sitting together, now… That’s three meetings in four months. Most people visit their family less often!”

“Yes, meetings that usually last a few hours. There were times when we would meet for lunch at least once a week,” Eriko insisted.

Her younger cousin shrugged. “I’m twenty-six, and you’re having a baby. Things change.”

Eriko gave in. “True. Perhaps I’m just a little uncertain because there’s a person having an important place in your life that I don’t really know.”

River smiled mischievously to alleviate the tension. “Yeah, but he left quite an impression on you, the way you immediately started flirting with him at your wedding!”

“I never said he wasn’t an attractive man…!” Eriko winked.

“Talking of which, Andreji said he was going to go to the theatre with a friend this evening, and he asked if we might want to tag along.”

Eriko’s face brightened up. “Yeah, sure. Sounds great!”

They finished their coffee and rose from their seats after they had paid.

River narrowed his eyes as he gazed over to the window. The clouds had loosened up, and some rays of sunlight penetrated them. He turned away from the windows and helped Eriko into her coat (something he had adopted from Andreji).

He held the door open for Eriko when they had reached the ground floor.

She smiled at him. “At least you’ve learned some manners. You could give Hayashi a lesson some time.”

The half-Japanese smiled back at his cousin and left the shop after her. An instant later, he groaned and turned his back to the sun, shielding his eyes. They burned and brimmed over with tears.

“What’s up?” Eriko enquired worriedly.

“Don’t know. It’s simply not my day, I guess,” he evaded the question and wiped the tears away. Keeping his eyes firmly shut, he scanned his jacket pockets. Where were those damn sunglasses Andreji had given him a week ago? He found them. Reluctantly he opened his eyes.

“Perhaps you should lie down for an hour or two so you’re fit this evening,” Eriko proposed hesitantly. “A visit to the theatre is no good with bad eyes and a headache, is it?”

River was relieved that she made the suggestion herself. “Yeah. Sorry that I let you down like that.”

“Don’t be. It’s fine with me. Will you fetch me from the hotel tonight?”

River wiped a lingering tear away from under the glasses. “Yeah, I’ll call you.” He forced another smile and hurried away.

He was lucky that Griet, one of those living in Andreji’s clan, had given him a key to her little bar. River almost ran until he arrived there, threw the door shut behind him, and hurried to the men’s room without paying any attention to his surroundings.

He took his sunglasses off and peered into the mirror. His eyes were red-rimmed and permeated by fine red lines.

River combed with his fingers through his hair and sighed. The splashing of cold water into his face availed little to lighten his mood. The young man was anxious. This was too fast, too soon. He did not want it to happen.

However, he would not be able to hide it much longer. Andreji probably sensed already what was going on.

The young man straightened up and took a look around. A shower, a short moment of warmth and comfort would be great. Had Griet not mentioned a bathroom? After all, this was more than just a bar. It resembled a private club, a place for them to meet and a place to hide during daytime when needed.

He left the gent’s and followed the corridor, peering into every room. A backroom with sitting accommodations – River refused to think about what that was intended for -, a broom closet, a small kitchen… and finally, the bathroom. River grabbed one of the fresh towels that were stocked there, got rid of his garments, letting them lie were he had dropped them on the floor, and stepped under the warm spray of water.

He breathed in deeply, trying to let go of all the tension in his body. Lucky as he was, it did not really work, but the warmth soothed his anxiety nonetheless. Why could one thing both give him a warm, fuzzy feeling as well as – to put it in plain words – scare the shit out of him? Both positively excite his body and give him the feeling that he was going to throw up any minute?

Realising he had not thought of soap or shampoo, River turned the water off and wiped the lingering drops away so he could open his eyes and look around. There was a shelf with small packs of what he sought on the opposite wall. He left the warm shower cubicle, tiptoed over the cold piles, water dripping down on them, grabbed what he needed, and hurried back. After a quick soaping, shivering slightly, he turned the water back on. Better!

If only Andreji were here, now. Not to speak with him about what bothered River. Just to be held in those strong arms, to feel the confidence, the promise of security that emanated from the older man. To taste him, to smell him, to simply forget everything else for a moment. River needed to call him anyway in order to ask when and where they would be meeting in the evening.

He rinsed out the last remains of shampoo foam and reached for his towel. Too bad there were no bathrobes. Snuggling into a comfy armchair with a mug of steaming tea or coffee, dressed in naught but a bathrobe, the smell of soap and clean skin surrounding him, sounded perfect. His stomach growled once more. Admittedly, it would be even more perfect if he was able to digest a sandwich or a pizza. A huge portion of tiramisu. At Christmas he had at least been able to drink a bit of mulled wine and try a bit of the dessert, but soon after that… River suppressed the nausea that threatened to take hold of him. He rubbed his hair dry and slipped back into his clothes.

After wiping away most of the puddles he had made, River trudged back to the front room of the bar and switched on the coffee machine. While it heated up, River dialled Andreji’s number on his mobile. He let it ring several times, but Andreji did not answer. “Great.” Seizing a cup and a random teabag, River activated the hot water dispenser of the coffee machine. After some whooshing and spitting, he switched the device off and withdrew into one of the nicely furnished backrooms. The one that held a TV-set. Anything that took his mind off the matter at hand was welcome.

Andreji had called him back an hour later, telling him that it was hard answering calls when you were just handling a red-hot piece of iron. In other words, he had been busy in his smithy.

Now, River and his cousin were hurrying through the streets to make it to the theatre in time. Fortunately, there was no way to overlook Andreji. Tall and slender he stood there in front of the building, the trail of long white hair floating in the cold wind that had suddenly arisen in the early evening hours. To his left, there stood a second, smaller man that carried his black hair short these days. Whereas Andreji’s face was barely showing a small, polite smile, the second man looked much more friendly and welcoming.

When they had reached the two men, River instantly fled into Andreji’s warm embrace, trying hard but probably failing to veil the strain he was under.

Andreji shook the lady’s hand and introduced her. “Eriko, this is Demyan. Demyan, this is River’s cousin.”

The two greeted each other.

“So, shall we go in?” Demyan proposed. “The weather is growing slightly disagreeable, do you not think?”

River and Andreji shared a smirk at the awkward phrasing as they made to ascend the stairs.

Two hours later, they descended the stairs again. There were once more snowflakes dancing in the air, but this time it was cold enough for them to coat everything with a thin white mantle.

“What about taking a drink somewhere?” Eriko asked.

“In your state?” Andreji enquired jestingly, pointedly looking down at her belly.

She looked straight back at him challengingly, one hand on her hip. “You know, there are such things as non-alcoholic drinks.”

“Really?” Andreji smiled amusedly.

“What about a short detour to Griet’s new ‘project’? I remember hearing her talk about trying out some cocktails. I could well imagine she could use a tester…” Demyan chipped in.

“Yeah, I think I saw a wide variety of juices in the kitchen earlier today,” River confirmed. “So, if you’re into fruit cocktails…”

“Let’s go!” Eriko decided giggling and took Demyan’s arm as it was presented to her. She seemed to enjoy the older man’s company.

As they entered the small front room of the establishment that held five tables, there were only two more guests sitting at one table. Eriko was impressed. The small room was painted in moss green with dark green floral patterns and small lamps sat on the tables that immersed the room in a soft yellow light. On one wall there flowed a stream of water over a lit, milky glass plate. Dark, heavy draperies covered the windows. The furniture in contrast was held in white. All in all, everything looked very noble, even expensive.

“Wow, this looks nice. Who pays the bill?” Eriko asked, a twinkle in her eye.

They settled down at a table. A young woman with blond hair welcomed them a minute later. From the way they interacted, Eriko could read that the men were acquainted with her.

None of her companions ordered something alcoholic. Instead, two cups of tea and a glass of water (of all things!) had landed on the bill. “Now, come on!” Eriko exclaimed. “Just because I am pregnant doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to drink! You didn’t drink anything proper at my wedding either. Are you an anti-alcoholic?” she asked Andreji.

Andreji smirked. “Not exactly. But if I am not mistaken, Griet does not offer any alcohol, do you?”

“Well, I’ve got a small assortment somewhere just in case, but my guests usually don’t fancy such things.” She shared a knowing smile with the men.

Eriko folded her arms and mused, “That wouldn’t have to do anything with your community, would it?”

There was a critical side-glance thrown at River by the white-haired man sitting to his right side.

“Yes it has,” Demyan admitted freely, eyeing his taller friend. “What has River told you about it?”

Eriko shrugged. “Not much. He was pretty closed up about it.”

“I wasn’t,” River denied. “There just isn’t much to tell.” He looked at Andreji. “I just told her that we live together and that the community is undergoing some conceptual changes at the moment.”

“Yes,” Demyan joined in, “In fact, this is our new own little private club here in Edinborough. You see, we live a little off the beaten track and many of us were discontent with that. So we decided to loosen up our community - some have moved out - but that through this bar, or whatever you wish to call it, we could still keep in touch. Gather the latest news or gossip or just find someone to talk to, you know…?”

Eriko smiled. “Sounds good.”

“Yes it does,” Griet beamed as she brought the drinks. “I’ve dreamed about something like this for quite a while, and now it’s come true! Doesn’t it look great?”

For the next two drinks (a “banana cup” and a “green dream”) the two women were deeply immersed in a conversation about the interior design of the place, about dreams and plans for the future, and about boring men. The latter was mostly directed at River and Andreji who hardly participated in the conversation whereas Demyan at least tried his best to keep up with the ladies.

At midnight, he offered to escort Eriko to her hotel. The others stayed behind.

River and Andreji sat alone at the table while Griet washed the dishes. The older man leaned towards his young lover. “Should the fact that you had nothing but a glass of water tonight even though your stomach constantly growls tell me something?”

River glared at him. “No.” He jumped up and seized his jacket. “Let’s go. We can pick up Demyan on the way.”

Andreji lifted a brow but resolved to say nothing.

“Andreji, wait,” Griet held him back. “In case Eriko comes back here without you, what am I supposed to do?”

Andreji sought to set her at ease. “She lives in London; therefore the chances are small for that to happen. However,” he shrugged indifferently, “if it does, just tell her what you would tell anyone else as well.”

“That she’s not allowed access without a blood drinker accompanying her?” Griet asked cheekily.

Andreji smirked. “What about ‘no admittance without a “community member” accompanying her’? After all, you could let her in if she came with River, and he is no blood drinker either.”

Griet eyed the young blond that stood at the door, making impatient movements. She lowered her voice. “Yet that won’t take long, will it? He’s just trying to stall.”

The white-haired man renewed his smirk and nodded minutely before he turned and motioned for his fledgling to get going.

http://www.ciao.de/Alkoholfreie_Cocktails__Test_2566004
http://scotlandonsunday.scotsman.com/scotland/Pub-reforms-to-spell-last.2529276.jp