Second Chances

SECOND CHANCES

Chapter 1

Introductions are always hard for me. I am extremely shy around new people, but since I am telling you my story I suppose I can introduce myself.

My name is Adam Thornton Grey and it is a pleasure to meet you. I know what you are thinking, “What a polite boy.” Yep. That’s me. My mom raised me right. By the way, you have it right; I am a boy, well, teenager really. I am 15 currently, soon to be 16 in March.

What do I look like? Hmm…let’s see…I am currently 5’ tall, but mom says that I am still a growing boy. I have shiny black hair that I am currently wearing short and spiky on top. I have a small frame, but I do have some muscles, not much, but I am working on it. The best feature, in my opinion, is my eyes. They are awesome metallic silver, not gray, but silver.

Mom says I have a “cute button” nose and beautiful pouty cherry lips, typical mom words I guess. I really believe she prayed for a male Snow White because I also have the fair skin to go with it.

I am currently a senior at Lake View High - yes, I am a smart kid. Mom didn’t want me to skip any more grades when I was younger ‘because she still wanted me to be around kids that were somewhat my age. That was fine with me; it put me in the same grade as my best friend Brett Hightower.

I met Brett when he moved next door to me when I was 9 and he 11. I have always been small for my age so when we met, he assumed I was much younger than my advanced years of 9. It was pure hero worship at first sight. As an only child, I didn’t have any siblings to play with and Mom and I lived on a street that had retired people living on it. Every once in a while they might have grandkids around my age, but I must remind you about my shyness.

All it took was for Brett to offer me some bubble gum on that fateful day and we became inseparable. It was that school year I told my mom I wanted to be in the same grade as my best friend. Mom did her thing and I was moved.

Over the next several years, Brett and I grew as close as brothers. Brett always had a confident manner about him. The Height Fairy must have accidentally dropped her whole bag of magic growth dust on him because she didn’t have any left for me next door. At 18, Brett stands a muscular 6’5”; his body is a chiseled wet dream. His light brown hair and dancing amber eyes just adorn his handsome face.

Can you tell by now that I am in love with him? I figured out that I was gay at 11, but the only people that know are my mom and my Uncle Brandon. It is the only secret that I have ever kept from Brett - well that and that I am in love with him.

I know you heard me talk about my mom; well she is one of my other best friends. Kathryn Grey had me young in life, my dad skipped out on her when he found out she was pregnant with me. Haven’t heard from him since, I don’t miss him either. Mom’s parents disowned her because of their social and religious beliefs; we don’t have any contact with them as well. The only person she had to turn to was her brother, my Uncle Brandon Grey. Mom and Uncle Brandon are close even after their parents kicked Uncle Brandon out for being gay; it was that religious belief thing again.

Uncle Brandon didn’t let that stop him though; he really made a life for himself and became a very wealthy guy. He and mom are best friends and he helped raise me for the first five years of my life letting mom finish college then law school. When mom finished law school, she got a job here in Lake View.

When holidays come around we all spend it together, most of the time at his place because sometimes it is hard for him to get away. We three are a close family and try to keep it that way.

Now that introductions are done, let me tell you why I am really excited. It is New Year’s Eve and I am waiting for Brett to pick me up because we are going to a party at Bruce’s house. Bruce is on the football team with Brett and a pretty cool guy. He personally invited me to come to his party, even before he invited Brett. We sometimes hang out just us and I consider him to be another good friend, not as close as Brett, but that is only because I have known Brett longer than Bruce. Some of the football team won’t talk to me, but they don’t pick on me either because of Brett and Bruce.

“Adam! Brett is here!” My mom yelled up the stairs. I looked in the mirror to double check and make sure I look ok and bounded down the stairs.

“Thanks for letting me go mom. I’ll make sure I am home by 1 am.” I hugged my mom and kissed her cheek. Turning to Brett I saw him standing with his back to me in the living room talking on his cell. He is wearing my favorite pair of his jeans, the ones that hug his ass the way I wish to; a long sleeve green polo shirt and his leather jacket I got him this past Christmas. Very edible in my opinion.

When mom pinched my arm I looked up at her and knew she saw how I was practically devouring Brett with my eyes. Mom smiled and winked at me and put her arm around my shoulders, “Remember, no drinking and no drugs!”

“You know I don’t like the taste of most alcohol and drugs rot your brain.” I told her scrunching up my nose at the thought.

“I know, but I just had to say the ‘mom’ things. I know you are a good kid and I thank whatever higher being there is for you.” She said squeezing my shoulders.

Brett turned around and smiled down at me, “You ready to go?” he asked me jingling his keys.

“Yep, ready.” I told him heading to the closet grabbing my coat and shrugging it on.

“I promise to have him home by one.” He told my mom giving her a hug then following me out the door.

“Bye mom!” I yelled to her before Brett closed the door behind him.

“Excited about the party?” Brett asked me as we got in his SUV. I nodded my head in response. This is my first New Year’s Eve party without my mom and I was feeling all grown up.

“Bruce actually cleared it with your mom before he invited you. He wanted to reassure your mom about the safety of her baby.” Brett said teasingly. I blushed slightly at his statement, I guess it was no secret that I am close to my mom, and unlike most teens I value her opinion and she values mine. I felt honored that he would even think of me, I am only 15 and most 18 year olds don’t like hanging out with guys my age.

Outside, snow was just starting to fall again, recoating the recently plowed streets. We pulled onto the street Bruce lived on and had to park a few houses down due to all the cars. I noticed that there were several houses on the street having a party so parking was tight.

We silently got out of the car and carefully made our way up to Bruce’s brightly lit up house. I could hear music playing as we stepped up to the door. I saw a sign on the door saying to just come in so we walked into the house and immediately saw Bruce standing in the foyer kissing his girlfriend Kim.

“You have to let her breathe sometimes Bruce.” Brett called out teasingly. Bruce and Kim are always making out when they are together, and they have been together for 4 years. That’s a lot of making out.

Bruce and Kim broke apart and sent a mock glare at Brett at his words. Brett laughed as he took off his coat and turned and reached out for mine. I handed him the coat and smiled at Bruce and Kim as I approached them. “Hey guys, thanks for inviting me.”

“Glad you could make it Adam.” Kim said answering for Bruce. “Now I have someone I don’t mind hanging out with.”

“Of course.” I smiled at Kim; she is one female that I would want to date if I wasn’t gay and if she wasn’t in love with Bruce.

“Come on, I will show you were the drinks are and I also want to introduce you to my cousin Mara.” Kim told me wrapping an arm around my shoulders and guiding me further into the house.

My eyes were wide with horror at the thought of being set up with some girl and I looked back at Brett and Bruce wanting for them to save me. Brett and Bruce were shaking their head and laughing at my predicament. Pricks!

Kim led me to a girl my height with long blond hair and beautiful hazel eyes, “This is Mara my cousin. Mara this is Adam the guy I was telling you about.”

Mara’s face lit up with a brilliant smile as she held out her hand in greeting. “A pleasure to meet you.”

My hand automatically reached for hers and I shook it briefly knowing I blushed a bright red by now. “Umm…same here.” I finally stuttered out. I hate being so shy sometimes.

“You told me he was cute, he is gorgeous Kim!” Mara said excitedly while watching me as if I was her last meal. I really began to glow red then.

“You’re embarrassing him Mara; I told you he was shy.” Kim said shaking her head as she walked away. I watched her go with dread silently pleading with my eyes for her not to leave me here with Mara. Of course she never turned around as she left the room.

“Let’s go get something to drink.” Mara said putting her arm through mine and guiding me to the coolers set up on tables that held the soft drinks, water and beer.

Since I had been deserted, I let Mara pull me along and we both grabbed cokes and like a gentleman, I opened Mara’s for her.

“You are smart, gorgeous, AND a gentleman, just perfect.” Mara cooed.

“Umm…th-thanks.” I think my face has been dyed a permanent red since meeting her.

I made a quick getaway when another girl came up screeching a greeting to Mara. I rounded the corner and barreled into Brett and Bruce who were watching around said corner. They were laughing so hard they had tears in their eyes.

“She didn’t scare you did she?” Brett asked between laughs.

“Not funny. I felt like I was her last fat filled meal before she went on a permanent diet.” I told him with a shudder.

“Mara is a nice girl Adam; she just gets too excited sometimes.” Bruce said after calming down from his laughter at my expense.

“Whatever.” I replied to him still pouting. How can I tell them that I wasn’t interested in dating any girls, that only guys turned me on and only one guy held my love? The idea that I was too scared to be honest with my closest friends saddened me.

Brett and Bruce must have seen my sad look because they promised to help keep Mara away from me if I wanted. Pasting a small smile on my face I thanked them and we headed into the main area where the music was playing. There were people dancing on a cleared area and enjoying themselves.

Kim spotted me and pulled me to dance with her. Bruce doesn’t like to dance to any fast songs only the slow ones so I ended up being Kim’s partner for the fast ones.

“What happened to Mara?” Kim asked leaning in so I could hear her over the music. I explained to her that Mara seemed to be a nice girl, but she scared me with her excitement.

“I’m sorry; sometimes I forget that you are younger and less experienced with this. I will tell her to tone it down ok? Just get to know her; you might end up liking her.” Kim winked and we resumed our fast paced dancing.

Eventually that is how Mara caught up with me, dancing with Kim and her other friend Ashley just having a great time. I decided to take Kim’s advice and try and get to know Mara, but I didn’t want to give her any ideas that we could be a couple though.

Mara dances very well and we actually were good dancing partners, after a few hours and several long breaks I need to cool down so I grabbed our coats and walked out on the deck with Kim and Mara.

Shutting the door muted the music from the house giving us the semi-quiet we needed to talk.

“That was fun! I love dancing the night away!” Kim said excitedly twirling around the deck with light snow falling around her.

I smiled at Kim’s enthusiasm for life as I leaned against the deck rail watching. Mara stood next to me quietly observing me, “You’re gay aren’t you?”

Fear gripped my chest at the thought of Mara guessing my deepest secret. I turned to look out into the dark yard with tears welling up in my eyes, “This can’t be happening, not here and not now.” I thought to myself.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Mara said gripping my arm turning me back to face her. “I’m making a mess of this.”

“Is it true Adam?” Kim asked me. I didn’t know that she had heard our conversation.

“Just great! Now she is going to know too.” I thought miserably to myself.

One thing that I refuse to do was lie, I don’t believe in lying about things so I always try and tell the truth often. Taking a deep shaky breath, “Yes.” I whispered into the cold night air. Not able to hold them any longer, the tears finally fell.

“It’s ok. We won’t tell a soul.” Kim said looking at Mara for agreement. Mara nodded her head and they both wrapped me in their arms hugging me tightly.

“How did you know?” I asked them after they released me. “Am I that obvious?”

“No, I only put it together tonight. At first I thought it was just of hero worship with Brett, but I began to realize that you looked at him the way I look at Bruce, with love. When I introduced you to Mara, you didn’t really look at her like most guys do.” Kim explained.

Sighing, I nodded my head affirming that I did love Brett. It felt almost good to have someone else besides family.

“He doesn’t know does he?” Mara asked looking at me sadly.

“No. I don’t know if I could ever tell him.” I replied returning the sad look.

“Well I want you to know that I don’t have a problem with you being gay and neither does Mara. Mara’s older brother is gay and our family never turned our backs on him. We support him and love him like a family should.” Kim told me smiling and Mara nodded in agreement.

“I can ask him to talk to you if you need any advice about anything.” Mara offered.

“Thanks, talking to another gay guy about their experiences besides my uncle will be welcomed. Uncle Brandon had recommended it to me before but I didn’t know how to go about it without outing myself in school.” I told them starting to get somewhat excited at the prospect.

I knew I wasn’t the only gay guy on the planet, but sometimes when you are in high school and deep in the closet, I tend to feel that way.

“If you ever want to talk about it, we are here for you!” Mara said giving me that mega watt smile of hers.

“Yep, any time.” Kim agreed. “Now let’s go back inside, it’s almost midnight.”

“I will be there in a minute; I just need a sec to get myself back together.” I told them as they made their way inside. They turned and waved as they stepped through the door closing it and the noise behind them.

I ran a hand over my face and took deep cleansing breaths finally feeling the tension drain away. Now if only I had the courage to tell my best friend.

I turned toward the door to go back inside to find Brett when I heard his voice coming from the dark corner of the deck, “So, you do keep secrets from me.” Brett’s voice was as icy as the snow falling into the quiet night. My heart skipped a beat out of fear of what he obviously heard.

“I…” I was truly at lost for words. What do you say to your best friend, the guy you love more than anything? The guy you kept your biggest secret from because of fear of rejection and ridicule? Fresh tears flowed and I hung my head not wanting him to see them.

Brett stormed up to me in my silent crying grabbing my arms tightly, “Tell me it’s not true. Tell me you are not a…” Brett’s voice drifted off as he stands there shaking me.

“It’s true.” I whispered with tears still flowing down my face leaving cold wet streaks in their wake. I felt my heart break when the look of disgust sank into his amber eyes.

Brett let my arms go, I felt the beginning of bruises forming from his grip. I backed away slowly; with every step I felt my heart breaking a little more. Anger began mixing with the disgust on Brett’s face and finally my heart shattered in my chest.

Brett’s hands clenched into tight fists, “All this time I have been best friends with a fucking fag?” he shouted his face turning red with his anger.

Feeling frightened I continued to back away until my back hit the door, “I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to tell you.” I pleaded turning quickly opening the door.

“Don’t you dare walk away from me, I want some answers.” shouted Brett. I could feel him make his way toward me so I dashed through the open door. My only thoughts were to leave a quickly as possible. I wanted to go home, this night has turned out worse than my nightmares.

“Fine, we are no longer friends. Stay away from me you fucking faggot!” Brett yelled as he came through the doors behind me. The group of kids that were near the door stopped in amazement and stared at my retreating back.

I broke out into a run and headed out the front door passing by Bruce and Kim doing their usual make-out session. They stopped as I rushed by looking at my tear streaked, puffy eyed and red face in shock.

“What happened?” shouted Kim as I rushed past her ignoring her words. I couldn’t stop now; I would really break down if I did so I continued out the door and into the dark night.

The cold wrapped its icy arms around me as I ran down the street towards home. It only seems ironic that I was beginning to feel the same inside. Cold and dead, my heart laid shattered at Brett’s feet on the deck of Bruce’s house. All I could think of was home and my mom, somewhere I could nurse my broken heart surrounded by someone that loved me.

I passed various homes that were brightly glowing with merriment of people counting down the beginning of a new year. For me, it was the beginning of a new year without my best friend, and from what Brett yelled out at the party, without some friends.

Time passed and I made it home a few minutes into the New Year, my grief weighing me down with each step. I rushed inside and my mom was sitting in the living room watching the people on TV yell and dance in the streets of New York City. She looked up at my red tear streaked face and knew something went wrong tonight.

“What happened Adam?” she asked jumping up and wrapping me in her arms. Mom rubbed my arms briskly trying to warm me up from being out in the cold as I cried out the whole story of the events that had taken place.

“I never thought Brett would react that way. He never seem to have any negative feelings toward gays, I am so sorry baby. I wish I could make it better with words, but it is going to take time for your heart to begin to mend. Give Brett some time; maybe he was just in shock. Try talking to him after he has calmed down.” My mom advised me holding me tightly in her arms.

“Ok.” I replied feeling a small glimmer of hope that maybe all Brett needed was time.

“Now get out of those wet clothes while I make you some hot chocolate. Then you can spend the rest of New Years with you old lady.” Moms said giving me a small smile trying to cheer me up.

I slowly made my way upstairs to my rooms still feeling numb from the cold and the hurt I was feeling. I retreated into my room removing my damp nearly frozen clothing and putting on some flannel pajama bottoms, and thick socks then made my way like a zombie back down to the living room. The promise of my mother’s hot chocolate kept me going despite the strong feeling just to crawl into my bed and hide myself from the world and my pain.

As I reached the living room the phone rang, after looking at the caller id I saw that it was Kim calling. Something inside urged me to answer it, urging me to reach out to a friend. After giving a halfhearted greeting, I heard Kim give a sigh of relief on the other end.

“I was really worried about you. Brett stormed out right after you did. From what I gathered from the rumors floating around he knows you are gay and didn’t take it very well.” Kim said quickly with the sound of worry prominent in her voice.

“Yeah, that’s about the gist of it.” I told her not able to hold back the hurt from my voice. “How bad are the rumors?”

“Most were just shocked, but Curtis and Mark were getting people riled up about it. Bruce, Mara and I tried to do as much damage control as possible, but I don’t know with those two behind the driving force…” Kim trailed off as if not wanting to finish that thought.

Curtis and Mark have been bullying me every since I started High School. I guess just because I was younger and smaller than they were, they thought that gave them the right. Now they just had more material to make the last half of school even worse because this time the taunts would be about something true.

“You know we will stand by you? Bruce wanted me to tell you that he will still be there for you; nothing has changed between you two. You know where Mara and I stand, so you do have some of us in your corner. Give Brett time to cool off, then maybe he will come around.”

“That’s what my mom said, I just hope that is the case. I don’t know what will do if I lose my best friend for good.” I told her getting close to tears again.

“Let’s get together later today and talk. We can come by there around 1. How’s that?”

“Sure, I’ll be here. I will see you guys later.” I told her. After saying our goodbyes I hung up the phone as mom was coming into the living room with our hot chocolates topped with whip cream.

“Who was that on the phone? Was it Brett?” Mom asked handing me my mug. She settles down next to me on the couch turning towards me.

“No, it was Kim.” I told her repeating the conversation that went on.

After some time, mom asked, “What do you want to do?”

I shrugged my shoulders sadly, “Take it a day at a time I guess. I can worry myself to death wondering what could happen.”

“Sounds good, just promise me something,” she said turning towards me, “promise me that you will be careful and come to me immediately if you feel like you are in danger.” Mom had a very serious look on her face; I knew that she was worried about me.

Because of the seriousness of the situation, I nodded immediately in agreement.

With a sigh of relief mom and I shared a long embrace; I felt her love for me seep into my body from hers.

“Let’s head to bed kiddo.” My mom said as she withdrew ruffling the hair on my head.

“Yeah, it’s been a long night.” I told her getting up grabbing both our mugs heading into the kitchen to wash them out before bed. Walking into the kitchen I looked out the window toward to Brett’s house trying to see if he was there. Brett’s SUV was parked out front and by the light of the street lamp I was able to make out a figure on the porch. I stared out at the tall shadowed figure feeling his stare back at me. Finally Brett turned and walked into the house, not looking back once.

A lone tear fell as I washed out the mugs – time, I will give him time I said to myself as a mantra of hope. I turned out the light and head up stairs to my cold bed dreading the upcoming days of school.