Silent Relationship

070411' edit: I'm thinking of re-vamping the first few chapters. Yes / No ?

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Silent Relationship

Chapter 1 Moku's Fear

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Last night, all the way till the early morning. He never stopped. I think he's angry, or something. He acts okay, but I can tell, he's not. The way he--- does it to me, feels different too. Detached, more forceful, and much more pain than I was used to. But, I don’t think he notices. And I... Never voiced it out either.

I kept thinking that he'll go back, to his old gentle self soon. Soon became later and later turned to a whole week. Last night was the worse. I couldn’t feel my lower body anymore. Or rather, I was in too much pain, I didn’t know what to feel. A few hours before we had to leave for school. He finally stopped; I had glanced at the clock before falling asleep.

If I could I would have skipped the day, but I wont, because then. It'll only cause more problems. That's what I thought... Since he was already not quite himself. I didn’t want to add anything on top of what ever problems he had. The past week, no matter how much I tried to cheer him up. It didn’t work. It probably didn't work because I'm not that good at cheering people up. I'd never done it before.

But by letting him do this, he always looked, relaxed, after, it made me feel like, I had helped. I think, this is the only way I could help, and just wait till he's back to normal again. I had no idea how to deal with a situation like this, since he's never been like this. So I just did what I thought would make things better. Like just lying down, and allowing it to happen, even thou it hurt. Little did I know, my body wouldn’t take it anymore.

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When I awoke, he wasn’t there. He always leaves before me anyway, for Aikido practice. I guess it was my in built alarm clock, and just the schedule I followed every morning that woke me up despite the lack of sleep. Though my body protested, I somehow managed to drag myself out of bed.

It was his aikido final's match today after school, I had been waiting to finally see him battling opponents in a competition. Other students were only allowed to watch when there was a competition. And I had missed the last one... So I had to catch this one. The next one would be much too long after.

I was late for the first lesson, and was punished, having made to stand during the whole lesson. My legs trembled after five minutes, it was a strain. Just to stand, my muscled burned like I had to run a marathon. I knew this 'lateness' would go into the daily report for room-mates. It's a report that is like a buddy system, so you'll always have your room mate help you and remind your of things. It's a good system actually, but for me, and for now, it wasn't.

The following classes were the same, since getting from class to class was getting harder and harder with the ache from my lower body. Having to frequent the bathroom didn’t help either. But I was paranoid that if I didn’t then the blood might stain my pants. And, I didn’t want anybody to find out.

Him and I had agreed to keep our relationship a secret. Besides, it would be problematic if anyone got wind that a member from the science club, and a popular sportsman like him, had a relationship. In the end, I had to stand during every class.

The punishment was standard, it wasn’t that bad either. But, for me and my current situation, it was worst than you could imagine. And with my expressionless face and quietness, the teacher's didn’t even notice my discomfort.



Finally, school ended, and everybody rushed to the Dojo. I managed to get a seat at the very top of the bleachers that was temporarily in to dojo, just for that day's match. He walked in, and he turned his head up searching. When our eyes met, I felt my heart lurch up.

He looked normal, very nervous but there wasn’t that anger or faraway look in his eyes. I was happy. If he was normal again, then things would get better. As quickly as our eyes met, they were averted, and the match began.

Of cause, he won. Everybody rushed to congratulate him. He had so many friends, and I, only had him... and well a few other friends whom I only met during club time. Watching the large circle that cheered and celebrated his victory around him, I knew there was no way I could do the same, so... I headed back home.

Though the apartment I shared with him wasn’t far from school, it took me a really long time to get there. Walking back was a normal usual thing to do, I never thought it would be this taxing or tiring. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep, and having to stand the whole day, I thought.

I was turning the corner, walking pass the dark alley that I had to pass to get to the entrance, when suddenly - I was grabbed from behind, and into the alley. I tried to call out, tried to make a sound, but realized I couldn't due to the fact that whoever had grabbed me had covered my mouth. Before I knew what was happening, three others came out of nowhere, and one of them had a knife pointed at me.

I remember, all of a sudden, I felt very very scared. An emotion I had rarely felt suddenly filled every fiber in my body. Fear Fear paralyzed me as I could do nothing but stare at the knife pointed at my face.

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--Inspired by a yaoi manga, Bukiyou Na Silent (c) Takanaga Hinako--