ultimate fan-fiction of doom

van hellsing and alucard were staring each other down until a queen alien shot acid at their duel disks and melted them to a smoldering puddle, then they reverted to their old fashion guns and swords, hellsing was then eaten by a buck-toothed b@st@rd and it hopped away trailed by the Monty python crew who were ambushed by brownies selling girl scout cookies and Mexicans but then their Mexicans were abducted by invader zim who glued foamy clones to their heads and sent them to take over Russia astride beaver-tailed babies. But the babies got colic and
accidentally threw a payload of carp into a nunnery where they ate the vegetables, so the nuns called trained ninjas to remove the carp problem except the polish mafia had already rented all the ninjas, so they had to settle for pirates. They rented the pirates who ate babies and carp even from water with muddy bottoms, who came in droves with their one legged flaming parrots riding loan sharks and card sharks. But suddenly the polish mafia had change in plans and hired crack-hookers and crack babies so the ninjas went to the nunnery to do some charity work
taking their rabid pandas and fried food vending machines to conquer carp. When all of the sudden a deep blue dragon appeared at the nunnery and stared eating the nuns kites so they called a mercenary who fell in love and got married to it in a beautiful ceremony, it turned out that they had been highschool sweethearts she, the mercenary being a medival weapons nerd, and he the dragon had been a DND freak. But back to the ninjas and pirates and flaming things. They worked together to fry all the
carp and feed the homeless and sad looking orphans, but once the carp were eaten and gone, they had to square off because no one can agree who is cooler, they would have gotten out alive if it weren't for you! Pirates vs. ninjas. But then the nuns combined to create nun-zilla! Or
mother zilla-nator, who shot orphans and homeless like patriot missiles, and she obliterated both the ninjas, the pirates, and even the vending machines. But some of the pandas got away to create a new line of designer toilet seats to save up for a vampiric army to take over the Vatican and send the pope to Pamela Anderson. But a were-turtle bought the company out and devoured the pandas. The turtle also bought out the crack-hookers and their babys to make an army fit for hell. When all of the sudden in his private chamber in trump tower he was ambushed by the
super team of doom friendship and evil butt-kicking,with the flame person of goodness, the woman character with big boobs whose power doesnt matter, and the sexist manly man who wears tights and a cape, (he flies). Oh no! STD! Blast you meddling kids! 'Oh, crap, wrong fan fic, sorry. Holy! Std? What are you doing here? Manly jutted out his chest and puffed up like a poison toad, "We are here to stop your pg rated evil!" "Pg? Didnt you read the freaking rating on the top of the page? Jeeze! Pg? Gah, so last 5 seconds. This is what R?" He turned and asked his
his pet hooker. "Okay....."said manly, "then we can use mini nukes right?" miss 'look boobs'!
simply commented "only if I can get out the napom" and so they ate the turtle man with some fava beans and some grey goose to wash it down. To be continued.........whoooooo........