My Wicked, Wicked Sins

Why Is this a Sin?

Does the almighty truly exist?
Is there evidence proving him real?
Is he responsible for bringing me here?
My thoughts, my actions, my joys my sorrows…
Are they sins?
I often think of a sharp glimmering object.
While clasping it in my hands, my curious fingers caress the stainless steel
In it goes. Deeper and deeper and going deeper still, blood gurgling out.
The cold unfeeling blade of oblivion pierces the central organ.
Thump--
Thump--
Stop.
Life, the gift from the universal deity.
“Gift…?” I wonder.
When this God “Giveth and taketh away”?
Why is it a sin?
Pain is the sin.
Pain is the aura of life, pain is the central axis of a wretched soul.
Escape is the answer,
The answer is my command.
Oh Lord, who “Giveth and taketh away”,
I deem myself unworthy.
I will take my sin.
Thump.
Thump.
Stop.


Leverage

Religion: The universal controversy.
Politics: The world’s headquarters of corruption.
Faith--
Money--
God--
Power--
Belief--
Control--
Each of those are assets to gain.
The common individual cannot live without each.
Statistics--
Hope--
Work--
Trust--
Deals--
Charity--
‘In God we trust’ are the idol words inscribed on our capitol.
God is always the tiebreaker for those key decisions of life and law.
War--
Abortion--
Same-Sex marriage--
Experimentation--
All are weighty and tilted left on the scale.
What goes on the right? Up to you.




What About Everything Else?

Crossing that cold paved street once again,
Wearing your less-than-humble cologne,
You pass multiple faceless, men, women and children-- ignoring them.
The industrial air circulates within your lungs
The Holy unwritten rules of supply and demand forever on your mind,
The Numbers are your Gods and the Banks are your Churches.
Your eyes covered behind the blanket of socialistic views,
Rendering you unable to truly
See--
Smell--
Hear--
Touch--
Taste--
The tall majestic mountains and their rigorous roads--
The red and white buds blooming in content, while releasing their soothing scent--
The playful, gentle, whistling winds that chase one another through the rustling branches-
The crystal clear elixir of life, running through your once dirty fingers--
The juice from the plumpest fruit, picked off from the ever growing vines--
Cross the cold paved street once more.


Walking in the Dark


Light of the universal candle flickers lightly,
Wind blowing over the flame very softly,
The scarlet orb moving left and right,
Universal candle now out, its snuff in flight.
Denizens from the planet of life,
Quickly scramble for a knife.
Blood and greed are the people’s ways,
Looking out into our decaying world, we have but days.
It was too soon for the earth to be eclipsed,
The warmth of summer was quickly blitzed.
Darkness engulfing spirits, bodies and minds
It’s as if we were chosen for these binds.
“Is this the terrible end?” They cry. “ Staring out into the endless abyss?”
Replying coolly, “ Not while everything is still amiss..”
Standing next to the ancient universal candle,
I think, “ Was there nothing the brightness of the world couldn’t handle?”
My eyes set upon the darkness of hearts,
It seems as if the people have lost some essential parts.
Dark brown eyes fill up with droplets of tears
Due to being reminded of past fears.
A whisper flows into my ear: “ Deep within there is light.”
Head rising slightly, my voice small and unheard, “ Then I shall search for it with all my might.”
Commanding my legs to rise,
I walk forwards, vowing to find my light before my demise.



Something Waits


Crossing the borderline between good and evil,
My mind becomes focused on my emotions.
Fear--
Anger--
Hate--
Suffering--
Now without a soul, now without a conscience,
My eyes can now set upon the face of God and set upon the face of Lucifer--
Without my body quivering,
Without my voice trembling--
Without having my eyes wide with anxiety-
Without having my mind completely paralyzed.
Shunned--
Ignored--
Beaten--
Bloody--
I smile widely, quietly leering out into the horizon.
Something much worse than Hell is reserved with those who cross me.
A fate worse than death awaits you.
My allies will avenge me.
My anger--
My hate--
Both are the keys that will open your eternal sufferings.
Care to humor me?






Feeling of Rejection


Footsteps pound on the cold cement,
The road ahead dark and dank
Shallowness and Bitterness taunt me at every moment,
Both leave their share of harsh lashes of words and deeds
My regrets tend to leave their mark.
Falling into the vortex of despair,
“Don’t look back. Don’t look back…”
“Keep sights forwards, You’ll repair, you’ll repair..”
But then I remember that there is an essential element I lack.
A failure in all meaning of the word stands before you,
Pay no heed to the beggar that stands here.
Give me no attention.
Who am I to seek recognition?
I have nothing to offer in return.



My Work was Murder


A fatal wound to the back of the head
Red liquid spouts out onto the bed.
Demise met. Life is finished.
And my soul is all but diminished.
Straight and stern.
I’ve nothing left to learn.
Warmth leaves the body, it’s carcass beside me
Will my mind ever leave me be?
The scent of blood surrounds the room
Nothing but pain and sadness can forever loom
In hushed tones, my lying lips utter,
“ You have gone to a better place, so please, don’t mutter.”
Picking up the neck, my fingertips caress the blood-stained hair.
“ Seeing you dead is more than I could bare.”
Leaving you on your deathbed, I walk out the door,
My work was murder, but perhaps it was for more.



I Can’t Reach Heaven


Suffer. Pain. Hurt. I’m Through.
Sitting alone in my dark abyss,
I can only try and convict myself continuously.
Again-
Again-
And again-
I am guilty of the suffering of others.
I face ejection of heaven.
The binding burning ropes of eternal damnation keep me in place,
My body--a burning flesh fest. My Mind-- a continuous trial of convictions--
This punishment is suited for me.
Nothing--
Nothing--
And Nothing--
Can forgive me from what I’ve done.
I face incarnation in hell.
The burning ropes stretch my body beyond it’s limits,
I help it by feeding it my wicked, wicked thoughts,
Hoping-- Praying-- that the sharp feelings will never
Ever--
Ever--
Ever--
Make me forget what I’ve done.
I face eternal exile from heaven.
My mind gave in. my body gave up.
Acting purely on personal selfish behavior,
I used all my strength and broke the rope.
Snap! I was free--
Snap! I arose--
Snap! I ran--
My wrists and legs forever blistered,
My returned free will content that I escaped hell.
How time passed by, I cannot say.
Trotting the world with my own two feet,
Cities came and went. People and their whispers floated about in the same manner
It made me wonder--
It made me think--
It made me believe--
In a particular story: The Ladder to Heaven. My one chance.
My eyes stung from exhaustment, my weary being, ready to drop.
Memories of past and present wars taunt me,
For in my search, I have seen good and evil.
But I vowed-
Vowed-
Vowed-
That my quest will never end until I’ve found it.
The Ladder to heaven.
It was an obsession with no end--
My hands held it. My eyes saw it.
But my heart never did believe.
“The Ladder to Heaven”--
“The Ladder to Heaven”--
‘The Ladder to Heaven”--
My lips repeated.
Finally, I found it.
Elegantly crafted with fine maple wood.
A single ray of glorious light set upon it.
My fingers ached to touch it.
It pricked me--
It stung me--
Cool red liquid surfaced slightly--
I climbed.
Loud sharp moans, gasps and screams fill the air.
My hands and my feet are punctured and gory
I move on up--
A trail of blood followed behind--
A trail of sweat followed behind--
A trail of tears followed behind--
Closely.
Reaching the top I smiled.
A spark of hope overcame me,
Never minding my wounds, I ran towards the opened gates.
Slam! They closed shut.
Slam! My entire search wasted.
Slam! My body collapsed.
Tears flowed to the surface.
My wails loud, my voice cracked.
At the very brink of my existence,
I begin to fade away- my entire being disintegrating away.
Weeping still, a ray of light overcame my face.
It was Him--
He spoke--
‘No matter how hard you try and no matter how hard you cry-- you can’t cheat your way into Heaven.”
My soul evaporated, and I was gone.