Deeper Than Life
folder
Original - Misc › Drugs and Alcohol
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
1,005
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › Drugs and Alcohol
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
1,005
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Deeper Than Life
TITLE: Deeper Than Life
DISCLAIMER: This story is entirely fictional. The characters in it are original and should not be used. No part of this story is intended to offend.
..................................................................
Chapter 1:
I cower in the corner of my bathroom and then slump against the cold bathroom wall, which gives me a shiver up my naked back.
I felt my stomach lurch uneasily as I raise my right hand and glance at the razor blade, which I started fiddling with between my sweating fingers.
I can’t recall why I cut; I only know that it gives me a type of strength and accomplishment that fills me with a complete rapture when I do.
I can’t stop myself from cutting tonight; I’ve had this build up of emotions for two days straight. Tonight seems the perfect time to rid myself of the blanket of failure and helplessness that seems to drag me down each day.
The truth is I know deep down I need help, but there doesn’t seem anyone to help me, mum would have helped but as she took her life seven months ago, I don’t think she’ll be able to do much.
Another one who might have helped is dad. No wait. What am I talking about? Dad left mum and me when I was 10 and I doubt he’s coming back now after a further 9 years.
I wish I could believe that my four other roommates could help me, but since when did getting aid from druggies and alcoholics count? My guess is never.
Once again I glance down at the shining razor and then harshly stroke my thumb across its sharp blade.
I feel a minor thrill as my blood starts to dribble out of my thumb and down my skin.
I gently lick my newly bloodied thumb and my tongue is greeted with a brackish metallic taste.
A small drop of my blood lands on the clean white tiles underneath me.
I look at my thumb and then like a stamp, I push it down on one of the other tiles.
I gibe at my bloody fingerprint and then lift my left arm and look at all my scars from previous slashing.
In one slow drag I tug the blade into my left arms flesh, leaving behind a small line of clotted blood.
I then again rip the razor into my arm leaving another cut an inch below the last.
Both cuts start to seep the red fluid down my arms and onto the white floor tiles.
After I did a few more cuts on both arms I dropped the blade that was now covered in blood and held onto my throbbing arms, cradling them both as I whimpered.
somehow in the 20 minutes I was in the bathroom I lost all thoughts, it made it easy for me to just lay there in silence and not have to worry about the pain I felt on the inside but instead the pain of my outer body.
I slowly pull my weight up with the bare towel rack and stand in front of the bathrooms huge mirror.
Quickly I turn on the tap making the water warm and then I gently wash my wounds.
The clear untainted water turned to a pool of my blood, which I gleefully watch swirl like a red sea down the drain.
I glower at the reflection in front of me, the pale weak face that has a mop of black and tinged blue hair, two brown eyes that look like two dark pits of filth and my small silver lip ring positioned on the left side of my bottom lip.
My arms finally stopped bleeding, but looked as if they had been scratched red raw with sand paper.
I cleaned up the bathroom and the quickly pulled on a long sleeved top; once downstairs I crash down exhaustedly onto our old falling apart couch.
I close my eyes and soon fall hopelessly asleep, my body aches all over but I feel no pain as my soul carries me into a dream like state.
****
I glance around the large space in front of me; millions of tree’s all growing different colored leaves. Not you’re normal colored leaves, but dark reds, light blues, silver, gold’s and fluorescent pinks.
The lush grass is mossy and supple under my feet and I breathe in the flower like scent and welcome the choir of birds and the affection from the sun on my back.
My dark brown eyes start to swirl into the color of gold as I take in the pink, orange and purple sky. The clouds are like giant rose pink fairy floss shapes and the many flowers like stunning dazzling jewels.
I somehow remember this magical place from many years ago, the calmness around me is bliss, nothing in reality is calm and that’s why I need this place, even if it is only in my dreams.
My legs carry me over to one of the many beautiful tree’s, I look up at the crimson red leaves and let out a happy sigh as I sit down against the tree’s trunk.
As I gaze out at the beauty around me, what my eyes see suddenly shocks me. Long white soft feathers drift down and land weightlessly on the grass where they burst into a fit of flames.
The feathers continue falling from the sky that is no more a work of art, but a black and red Dangerfield. The world around me starts turning black and my vision is blurry. The beauty is suddenly gone and reality starts to get close.
****
I awake to my shoulder being shaken; I slowly open my eyes and once again they are dark and no longer gold.
Above me stands Mark my brother with a furrowed brow; I look over at the front door were Damian, Dean and Rebecca are all laughing at one of Damian’s heinous jokes. Looking back at Mark I can see his anger roaring from him; his eyes dangerously lingered on my arms which I crossed around my stomach when our eyes met. I couldn’t help but notice at that point that my twin’s eyes seemed to look slightly lighter than mine.
Mark shook his head and walked past everyone and headed up our dodgy staircase soon after a bedroom door jerked shut. yep my brother *the better half of our egg* knew what I had done while he and the rest where out.
I took a peek at my arms and saw were the cuts had soaked visibly through.
I cursed to myself and clutched my arms closer to my black t-shirt.
“What the fuck’s up his ass” Dean flicking his beer lid onto the kitchen bench.
“Hmm what in addition to you last night?” said Damian distributing a smirk at his friend.
“Get fucked” said Dean amused
“Don’t worry I did last night, isn’t that right Bec?” Damian said pulling Rebecca in close to him by his hip.
Rebecca rolled her eyes and broke free from him. “We got anything I can eat?” said Rebecca opening the fridge.
“Say what I know your going to and I’ll kill you” Rebecca added as an after thought when she noticed Damian’s grin.
Opening his mouth slightly he gave her his best innocent look which everybody in the English speaking world knew to ignore.
I couldn’t help but laugh to myself while watching them all stumbling drunk around the kitchen here and there throwing sarcastic remarks at each other. My arms still burned and my body still ached. Mark had left his black jumper on the coach next to me; I eagerly pulled the jumper over my upper body with a bit of a struggle caused by my stinging arms and then pulled the hood over my mess of hair.
DISCLAIMER: This story is entirely fictional. The characters in it are original and should not be used. No part of this story is intended to offend.
..................................................................
Chapter 1:
I cower in the corner of my bathroom and then slump against the cold bathroom wall, which gives me a shiver up my naked back.
I felt my stomach lurch uneasily as I raise my right hand and glance at the razor blade, which I started fiddling with between my sweating fingers.
I can’t recall why I cut; I only know that it gives me a type of strength and accomplishment that fills me with a complete rapture when I do.
I can’t stop myself from cutting tonight; I’ve had this build up of emotions for two days straight. Tonight seems the perfect time to rid myself of the blanket of failure and helplessness that seems to drag me down each day.
The truth is I know deep down I need help, but there doesn’t seem anyone to help me, mum would have helped but as she took her life seven months ago, I don’t think she’ll be able to do much.
Another one who might have helped is dad. No wait. What am I talking about? Dad left mum and me when I was 10 and I doubt he’s coming back now after a further 9 years.
I wish I could believe that my four other roommates could help me, but since when did getting aid from druggies and alcoholics count? My guess is never.
Once again I glance down at the shining razor and then harshly stroke my thumb across its sharp blade.
I feel a minor thrill as my blood starts to dribble out of my thumb and down my skin.
I gently lick my newly bloodied thumb and my tongue is greeted with a brackish metallic taste.
A small drop of my blood lands on the clean white tiles underneath me.
I look at my thumb and then like a stamp, I push it down on one of the other tiles.
I gibe at my bloody fingerprint and then lift my left arm and look at all my scars from previous slashing.
In one slow drag I tug the blade into my left arms flesh, leaving behind a small line of clotted blood.
I then again rip the razor into my arm leaving another cut an inch below the last.
Both cuts start to seep the red fluid down my arms and onto the white floor tiles.
After I did a few more cuts on both arms I dropped the blade that was now covered in blood and held onto my throbbing arms, cradling them both as I whimpered.
somehow in the 20 minutes I was in the bathroom I lost all thoughts, it made it easy for me to just lay there in silence and not have to worry about the pain I felt on the inside but instead the pain of my outer body.
I slowly pull my weight up with the bare towel rack and stand in front of the bathrooms huge mirror.
Quickly I turn on the tap making the water warm and then I gently wash my wounds.
The clear untainted water turned to a pool of my blood, which I gleefully watch swirl like a red sea down the drain.
I glower at the reflection in front of me, the pale weak face that has a mop of black and tinged blue hair, two brown eyes that look like two dark pits of filth and my small silver lip ring positioned on the left side of my bottom lip.
My arms finally stopped bleeding, but looked as if they had been scratched red raw with sand paper.
I cleaned up the bathroom and the quickly pulled on a long sleeved top; once downstairs I crash down exhaustedly onto our old falling apart couch.
I close my eyes and soon fall hopelessly asleep, my body aches all over but I feel no pain as my soul carries me into a dream like state.
****
I glance around the large space in front of me; millions of tree’s all growing different colored leaves. Not you’re normal colored leaves, but dark reds, light blues, silver, gold’s and fluorescent pinks.
The lush grass is mossy and supple under my feet and I breathe in the flower like scent and welcome the choir of birds and the affection from the sun on my back.
My dark brown eyes start to swirl into the color of gold as I take in the pink, orange and purple sky. The clouds are like giant rose pink fairy floss shapes and the many flowers like stunning dazzling jewels.
I somehow remember this magical place from many years ago, the calmness around me is bliss, nothing in reality is calm and that’s why I need this place, even if it is only in my dreams.
My legs carry me over to one of the many beautiful tree’s, I look up at the crimson red leaves and let out a happy sigh as I sit down against the tree’s trunk.
As I gaze out at the beauty around me, what my eyes see suddenly shocks me. Long white soft feathers drift down and land weightlessly on the grass where they burst into a fit of flames.
The feathers continue falling from the sky that is no more a work of art, but a black and red Dangerfield. The world around me starts turning black and my vision is blurry. The beauty is suddenly gone and reality starts to get close.
****
I awake to my shoulder being shaken; I slowly open my eyes and once again they are dark and no longer gold.
Above me stands Mark my brother with a furrowed brow; I look over at the front door were Damian, Dean and Rebecca are all laughing at one of Damian’s heinous jokes. Looking back at Mark I can see his anger roaring from him; his eyes dangerously lingered on my arms which I crossed around my stomach when our eyes met. I couldn’t help but notice at that point that my twin’s eyes seemed to look slightly lighter than mine.
Mark shook his head and walked past everyone and headed up our dodgy staircase soon after a bedroom door jerked shut. yep my brother *the better half of our egg* knew what I had done while he and the rest where out.
I took a peek at my arms and saw were the cuts had soaked visibly through.
I cursed to myself and clutched my arms closer to my black t-shirt.
“What the fuck’s up his ass” Dean flicking his beer lid onto the kitchen bench.
“Hmm what in addition to you last night?” said Damian distributing a smirk at his friend.
“Get fucked” said Dean amused
“Don’t worry I did last night, isn’t that right Bec?” Damian said pulling Rebecca in close to him by his hip.
Rebecca rolled her eyes and broke free from him. “We got anything I can eat?” said Rebecca opening the fridge.
“Say what I know your going to and I’ll kill you” Rebecca added as an after thought when she noticed Damian’s grin.
Opening his mouth slightly he gave her his best innocent look which everybody in the English speaking world knew to ignore.
I couldn’t help but laugh to myself while watching them all stumbling drunk around the kitchen here and there throwing sarcastic remarks at each other. My arms still burned and my body still ached. Mark had left his black jumper on the coach next to me; I eagerly pulled the jumper over my upper body with a bit of a struggle caused by my stinging arms and then pulled the hood over my mess of hair.