Gravity of Love

Peccavi here! I had given up on this story for a while since I wasn't sure where I wanted it to go. Now however, I have a clearer understanding of the characters and decided to give it another go. I have my muse to thank; she lit the proverbial fire under my ass and helped me brainstorm. S'agapo, kardia mou. I've changed it up a bit and straightened things out and now there's 23 chapters. (I've been busy) Well, I hope you enjoy it. For all the new folks: thanks for reading! And for all those who had sent me emails and kept up with the GOL crew, thank you so much!

(one)
The night had started for me around two in the morning. I had stepped out on the cold streets of the lower, more abandoned streets of Trudeau, Illinois, shivering my ass off since I wasn't wearing that much. It was here that my current "profession" would usually go unnoticed with the only exception being those that wanted to purchase what I had to offer. This part of town was well known for guilty pleasures of any and every kind, an area to give into your darkest desires and not be pushed away. Once upon a time this was just called Downtown, a worn for wear district that other people would drive for miles to go around. Now it was just referred to as the Underbelly-- the darkest part of the beast as it crawls, right next to the dirt. But to me and all the other people that lived here and just survived day to day, it was simply home.

Another cold breeze hit my bones and I shivered. God, I hoped tonight would be slow; that no one would even come down here. Hell, I knew that was too much to ask for. Nights like these when the moon was out, the howling of whatever lycanthrope or shifter gathering hung in the air like distant sirens. It set a raw, animal craving in everyone, like they just needed to go out and fuck. The cries echoed through the night, sending a chill down my spine, that, or it was just so damn cold. I hugged myself trying to hold in some of my warmth since I had the pleasure of being a measly human. It was hopeless at any rate. I wore a pair of glossy pants that clung to my body leaving very little room for imagination, which was, of course, the point. Air seeped through the thin cloth and I could feel my legs begin to chill. My pants were shoved into boots made out of that same glossy leather laced up carefully to my knees. I had on a thick metal choker around my neck which was a bit too tight but Ren, my…caretaker, said it was best to start off the night with a little bit of pain to add an edge to what the clientele just might want. I could care less. The choker hurt my neck and I knew tomorrow I'd have a bruise; but Ren liked to see me bruised. He said it made me beautiful.

It took me a couple of years to get enough confidence (or maybe common sense) that I was pleasing to the eye without having to sport black eyes or a busted lip. My face was a smooth oval, I had a strong jaw line, but it was rounded which gave me a soft, feminine look. My hair was pitch black and reached well past my shoulders and I usually kept it lose, letting it fall like a curtain of darkness around my face. My lips were full and my nose was a perfect regal slope but it was my eyes that caught the most attention from people. They were a deep rich honey brown and I was quite skilled at using those eyes to win hearts of who ever Ren wanted me to. Those same eyes that he loved to see glazed over with pain.

From the choker was a thick chain that hung across my chest and attached to my belt, matching the choker design. Over it all I wore a fish net shirt that had drawstrings up the front. It hung off my body loosely, clearly revealing my sculpted chest, my flat stomach and a little below my navel since the pants were those low hip-riders. Needless to say, I was going to be cold and stay cold unless I moved around and did something. And people only came down here to "do" one thing and one thing only. But maybe, just maybe, dear God, not tonight. I was so damn tired, so very fucking tired. I could wait it out a few more hours before I began to freeze and meet Ren at the strip club he owned, On The Lash, and tell him that business was bad. I had yet to see black jaguar with a big "R" on the side pull up, Ren's personal car that he used for "special clients". He usually screened most of the people I met and only allowed me out to a select few. I could take in the stray business if I wanted to, but would have to forsake his protection. I sure as hell wouldn't subject myself to this unless I had to so why else would he have thrown me out here tonight of all nights unless he had someone who had purchased my favors?

I avoided outside business when possible so I was definitely not sticking around for that, but what if I left early and maybe missed someone…. I'd be in deep shit. He'd beat me a little—okay, okay, a lot---but he'd let me rest at home in the cool silk sheets afterwards, feed me in bed and then he'd ride me for awhile and throw me back out on the streets. It won't be so bad. That's just the way he shows he loves me, I think. Which makes me think how sick I've gotten in his "care" and why I ever left home. Would my parents even recognize me? If they did, would I even be their son? Hell, I don't even know where their boy Gavin went; I think he died somewhere on these streets under a bucking geezer running from his wife, or after swallowing mouthful after mouthful of----Fuck it, why am I even thinking about this? That wimpy sixteen year-old is gone, all that's left is a twenty-one year-old shell.

I heard a car approach from one of the back streets. It turned its lights off as it neared me since the lampposts and the moon left my clearly visible to whoever it was behind the wheel. The car idled to a stop and the tinted passenger window slowly came down. Please, not tonight, please. I made my practiced glide to the car; taking care I swing my hips, flipping my head to send my mane of black hair cascading around my thin chiseled face. It was a jaguar with a stylish violet 'R' on the side. Fuck.

The person inside was a man, not much older than me, by the looks of it and instantly looked me up and down with a fevered reverence. Yes, damn it, tonight. He smiled and I smiled back.

"I need some company tonight," he said simply. And that, of course, was my cue.

"Then I'm your guy," I said nonchalantly, adding a purring tone to it. "I've got time for whatever you want." I seductively licked my bottom lip, drawing it in slightly into my mouth and bit on it, giving him my innocent wet dream look. The automatic locks clicked and I got in the car. Ren, always the businessman, owned a small building strictly for this business, I gave directions, and he drove. A little too fast for my taste, but that was okay; the sooner this was over with, the better.

"So have you been with a guy before?"

I had been staring out the window trying to find that quiet place that I escape to every time someone touched me. I was startled that he spoke to me and turned my head to look at him.

"Uh…yeah, a few." A hell more than a few, but what the fuck did he care? Especially when even I was beginning not to.

"Do you do girls too?"

I didn't want to answer any more questions. Truth be told, customers speaking to me kinda freaked me out and I sure as hell wasn't in this car to do any talking, that's for damn sure.

"Uh-huh," I muttered. I played with my lip ring, slightly tugging at it for the pain. Thankfully, the deep red neon lights of The Freaky Coffin flashing spasmodically came into view and I was actually relieved to see it. The name was definitely unique, bordering on corny, but so was everything Ren owned or half-owned. Everyone knew he was into the whole vampire thing and was actually in the good graces of the head honcho for all the vampires in the city. Well, at least that’s what she tells everyone and no one yet ever stood up to make her back down. She said she was in charge, so she was. I never met her, thank God, but Selene was around as long as I can remember; she'd pop up in the news or in a magazine but you really never heard much about her, just her businesses. She kept track of every moneymaker in the city and Ren proved that he was quite efficient. She helped him organize and build and even took part in some of the parties; at least that's what I heard anyway. I only know about her from the bits and pieces Ren had mentioned or what I picked up from TV or the newspaper. But those places the TV talked about where uptown; glamorous, eccentric up and close to vampires and all they could do. The Freaky Coffin, on the other hand, was a haven for people who had such fantasies and obsessions with vampires, but didn't necessarily want to be true "vamp-snacks". When it came down to it, a lot of humans bragged about wanting to fuck a vamp, but then froze with fear when faced with a real one. So for the ones who didn't want the real thing, but craved the delusion, The Freaky Coffin was the place to be. I've played the role of vampire quite often, I was even thinking about getting my teeth filed for a better effect. Ren might like it.

He pulled into the parking lot of the dance club since the private rooms off to the side didn't have it's own area for that. We'd have to get out and then walk across the yard to get to them.

"You know to leave the keys in here, right?" I said to him as he cut the gas.

"Yeah," he replied, "they'll have a driver take me home….I know."

That's what I always appreciated about being with Ren, he could be a sadistic bastard, but he took care of you. When we finished with clients Ren made sure they disappeared out of your world as fast as possible. We got out of the car and walked to the building and Soren was standing there at attention. He was hired as a doorman but was built like he was made for more physical dangerous things. He gave me a short nod and stared at the man behind me, stepping away from the door, ready to spring.

"He's with me," I said softly and Soren nodded again and went back to the door, Terminator mode safely turned off. I turned to the guy behind me. The guy still had all eyes for me, despite Soren's little act. I closed the distance between us, so close that our bodies touched. I brought my voice down low and whispered against his lips.

"You want to go in the club and party a bit, or upstairs to…." I let my voice trail off and reached down to grab his crotch. He gasped audibly with pleasure or shock, perhaps a mix of both and even though he wore jeans, I could feel him very hard and excited. I groped him slowly and he moaned deeply.

"What'll it be?" I purred.

He looked at me like a drowning man and he seemed to have to swallow a few times before he could speak.

"U-up…stairs," he groaned.

I let go of him suddenly, making him stagger back. Shit, here we go.

"Follow me then," I said and walked to the right of the door and around the corner to the stairs leading to the upper level and the rooms. The door I stopped at was my personal room to use every time I came here; being one of Ren's favorites had its advantages. That meant that only I used this room, so I was able to keep things just how I wanted to so I could quickly get in the mood and be whatever my customers wanted me to be. I used my keys I kept attached to my belt to open the door and stepped aside to let him walk in through first. He walked in slowly, in silent awe at the decoration of the room, no doubt. I had everything down in black, red and violet. I used black lights, lava lamps and candles to set an ambient, almost Goth-like atmosphere. In one corner was a harness and a chest of other toys for the more dominatrix prone that liked that top and bottom jazz, incense and a carefully placed rug for the more romantically delusional and the four-poster bed with black and violet satin sheets who wanted the vamp touch or just wanted to fuck and get it over with. I wondered briefly if he'd ever done stuff like this before. Which part of the room would he take? He looked pretty clean-cut. He wore black silk dress slacks and a rather plain gray shirt. His hair was a medium length, cut in one of those model styles where it starts of short at the front and tapers around the face framing it like a thick curtain. It had a wavy look to it and it was blonde—not in that sickly yellow you see everywhere or even that bleached shit—it was like tresses of gold; a natural blonde, who would've thought it was possible? Nice haircut, nice clothes, no tattoos or piercings I could see—one of those corporate sickos maybe? Trying out a few fantasies? Experimenting as they call it now. I bet he turned out to be the harness type.

I closed the door behind me and leaned on it, the vibration of the music from the other building spread through the thin door, beating against my back. I walked slowly over to the big stereo in the corner and set disc five going. A remix of "Judith" by A Perfect Circle blared through the room, drowning out everything else and as the beat hit me, I began to let go and traveled far into that wondrous place of static and nothingness.

I stalked over to the guy, taking off my shirt in one swift movement, never missing a beat. I threw the shirt to the side and undid the choker and belt. By the time I got to him all I had left was the boots and the pants. Hey, I didn't like doing what I did, but I was still the best at it.

"What do you want me to call you?" I asked softly, standing right in front of him.

"David's fine."

I nodded, unbuttoning his oh-so-plain shirt.

"What do you want to call me?"

"I-I don't know, what's your name?"

I smiled. Oh yeah, this one was going to be fun. "Anything you want," I purred.

"Your name's okay," he said, breathing heavily as I slipped off his shirt and began to work on his pants.

"Gavin," I murmured and pulled his pants down. I stepped away slightly to further undress myself, giving Davey boy the time to decide which part of the room drew him in. I worked methodically; it gets the job done so much faster. He took off his shoes and finished taking off his pants, leaving him completely naked. He was in pretty good shape, muscled a bit, not bulky but in an athletic kind of way, but not as firm and toned as mine. He took another look around the room and finally went to sit on the bed. Huh, surprise, surprise. I peeled off the leather boots and pants and went to kneel in front of him. He squirmed, obviously becoming nervous. How cute.

"What do you want?" I asked softly, looking up at him. He met my eyes and we stared like that for a while. They were the clearest blue, like he had two aquamarine crystals sitting in his head.

"You," he whispered. I laughed not being able to help it. Jeez, what a mind job.

I stood up and got on the bed behind him. I pulled on his shoulders to make him scoot back and moved to the side as I laid him back on the sheets. I carefully straddled him, sitting a little on his upper thighs so our groins were touching each other. I stared down at him.

"You've got me, David," I said, adding a deep flavor to his name as I spoke. "What do you want to do with me?"

He looked at me, his face clouded with emotion, making it hard to read.

"T-to talk."

What the hell? I flipped off him and went to lie on my side facing him. This guy was nuts, but I've fucked worse. I'd indulge him for now. He'd probably been abused as a kid; needed some sort of love or affection, some crap like that. It wouldn't surprise me if he wanted to call me Daddy when we really started, it's happened before. He sat up a bit, resting his head on the post board of the bed; he was still erect so talking wasn't all he wanted to do with me. I put my forefinger in my mouth and trailed a path down my chest and stomach and grabbed myself and started stroking slowly.

"You want me to touch myself while you talk to me?" I said, half groaning as the first pinpricks of pleasure began to run through my body.

"No."

"You want me to touch you, then?" I stopped and touched him, moving my hand just as slowly on myself. He arched his back and made a sound close to a groan or a sob. Yet he still moved my hand. Now I was confused as hell. What did he want?

"I just want to-to talk a bit before we---"

I bit my lip hard, it was all I could do to keep myself from rolling my eyes at him and laughing my ass off at his naïve outlook as to why we were in this room. Still, I leaned back, putting my hands behind my head and settled a bit more in the sheets.

"I'm all ears, babe."

He sat forward, bringing his knees up to his chest and looked down at me. There was this way he regarded me that I didn't get. How in the hell did he get past Ren's screenings?

"I didn't expect this to be so weird, I usually—"

I sat up and scooted close to him, trailing my hand in small circles on his chest.

"Hey, it's okay to be nervous, most people are." I held his face and turned it so he was directly facing mine. I placed a small chaste kiss on his cheek and then the other, on his nose, his chin and finally on the lips. I kissed him gently at first, deepening it as I felt him relax more and more. To hell with this talking shit, I still had to work later on today and he was taking too much time. He moaned into my mouth, parting his teeth to my probing tongue and I soon had him mewling like a baby. Like I said before, I was good at what I did.

He pulled back from me suddenly.
"Jesus, you're good. Now I can see why Mannix always leaves me alone to be here."

I pulled back away from him and regarded him carefully.

"You know Mannix?" I was starting to be a bit apprehensive about this dude. Did he just say that Mannix leaves him alone to be here with me? Would that mean he was jealous of his lover's extracurricular activities and blamed me for them? The night just took a sour turn.

"Yeah....I'm Mannix's…partner." He said the last word with much more feeling than I was use to. He was more than just a lover, perhaps.

"Does he know that you're here with me?" I asked slowly. The last thing I needed was some sort of lover's quarrel; Mannix to show up pissed, David and I getting it on—a recipe for trouble. So I was terribly relieved when I saw David nod.

"Actually he's the one paying for tonight. He always speaks of you: at the dinner table, at parties, even in bed. You've left a mark on him; a mark that I've been trying to make for five years now. I had to see you for myself."

Ouch. Well no wonder Mannix was the most regular customer; he had a crush on his whore. How sweet. In a sickening, perverted sort of way, of course, but still sweet. Mannix was always a bit of a mystery; there were nights when he took me hard and fast and then other nights he treated me with such a tender sweetness, it scared me. Maybe when he came to me, he didn't even see me; maybe he saw David and couldn't bring himself to realize it. Another area of thought that I wasn't even going to try and touch. I was a whore, damn it, not a psychologist.

"Look, David," I said, "the relationship between Mannix and I…isn't like that. He pays, I kneel over and that's it."

"Maybe to you," he said, his voice holding the first warm stirrings of anger, "but not to him. It's you he thinks of when he's pounding away at me, it's you he imagines when I'm swallowing—." He stopped talking and put his face in his hands. What to do? What to do? I was no good with shit like this. I put my hand around him and hugged his body close to me.

"David, I think it's the other way around. When he's with me, he doesn't even see me, just a shell to get off in; I think it's really you he's thinking of."

He pulled away from me.
"That's bullshit and you know it." He muttered sadly. Hmm, that didn't go so well, did it?

"Well you're here, not Mannix, you're the one I want to touch now," I said smoothly and leaned closer to him, forcing him to lay back. "We're here now and that's all that matters. Just you and me, David." I ran my hands down his stomach and began stroking him before he could protest. He made a deep noise in his throat as he squirmed but made no move to try and stop me. His body began responding quickly; his hips arching up to pump at my fist.

"Stop," he said in-between gasps of air, "stop."

Slowly, I did. "What's wrong? Don't you want me?" Hey, I could play for pity too.

He closed his eyes, still breathing heavily.
"I do, God help me, I do. Now I see why Mannix came here so much."

I smiled. "Yeah, there was plenty of that."

He frowned at me. "What?"

I shook my head not intending to try and explain the naughty double entendre that had entered my head.

"David," I sighed, my voice was devoid of warmth or sensual undertones. "Enough. You've got to tell me what you want, man. I can't defend Mannix; you need to talk to him. I can only do one thing for you right now and you won't let me do it."

He looked at me for a few moments, staring longingly at me. When I was about to break eye contact he spoke.

"When was the last time you were kissed?"

I scoffed and moved a bit away from him. Did anyone hear that? Yes, I believe that was my patience breaking down the door to run out screaming. Anyone? No one? Hmm, guess it was just me.

"I don't have time for this shit!" I started and scooted to the edge of the bed. David caught my arm and pulled me back.

"I'm not talking about when you're doing this," he waved his free hand around the room, "I mean with someone you love, who loves you. Or at least when you actually want to be kissed."

A weird question, to say the least. One I really didn't feel like answering.
"I couldn't say," I muttered angrily. "Didn't know there was a difference."

David moved on the bed, closing the distance between us until we were a breath away from touching. He gave me that weird look again and leaned in to kiss me. His soft lips met mine and his tongue played lightly with mine, nothing special. It never deepened, he didn't eat at my mouth, and he just stayed there, gently coaxing me. Only when I lifted my tongue to twirl with his did the kiss deepen. He moaned into my mouth and began groping my chest. He tugged on my lips, bit on my tongue, but never pulled away; it was always gentle and sweet. My breathing became heavy and I felt the first real stirrings of arousal. It may seem a bit confusing; I was already erect and ready for action, but that was just a reflex, just a part of the job as I remained blissfully detached. Well not this time, I had come crashing down from my static haven and I was actually enjoying it.

He pulled back from me slowly and while he was fine, I was gasping for air. He leaned back a bit, smiling at me knowingly.

"Do you see the difference now?" he asked me and I found myself only able to nod wordlessly.

David pushed me on my back and placed small kisses along my chin and down my throat. Wherever his lips touched my skin it sent little shockwaves of pleasure that made me groan without really meaning to. He kissed my chest, pulling my nipples with his teeth and continued his way down until he took me in his mouth. I reached down and ran my fingers through his soft blonde hair, leading his head as it expertly bobbed up and down. I gyrated my hips as the pleasure began to mount; my head back as I was giving myself over. A cold thought escaped from my static haven and I pulled David off of me.

"I should be doing you, David. That's why we came here." See? It wasn't all about tenderness and that love shit, not in this place. Damn him for making me forget.

"No," he said calmly, "we're here so you can please me. Doing this pleases me, so shut up and let me finish."

Whoa, where did he pull that backbone from? At first he didn't want me to touch him, now he was all over me? Maybe he was a schizoid or something. My rational train of thought was lost when he resumed his sucking. It was so—so heavenly. I arched my back, panted loudly and groaning, riding the pleasure, not caring about anything. Everything was getting hot and I could hardly breathe, a telltale sign that orgasm was near.

"Da---vid," I said my voice low with the mounting desire. It was hard to concentrate and get my thoughts out. What the hell was I going to say? "You---you better stop if don't wanna--"

I never got to finish my sentence as I came crashing over the edge. It ran through my body, pulling at me from my head to the tips of my toes. I cried out, bucking in the bed and dug into the sheets.
I opened my eyes, not realizing I had closed them and saw David's face hovering over mine. He was smiling.

"I'm used to swallowing, Mannix doesn't like it any other way, but of course you know that."

"You want me to do you now?"

David frowned at me shaking his head slowly.

"No, I don't want that, not really. Mannix fucks me okay when he's not angry, he touches me so tenderly sometimes; it's just that he never lets me touch him like that." He pulled back from me and I sat up, leaning against the headboard of the bed. And just like that, the Backbone-David was sucked back in and gone. Mannix had totally fucked this guy up. Kinda how Ren has me, I guess.

"When he comes here, and I know he will," he said softly, "give him this."
He gave me another kiss, this one more passionate and a bit fevered. He pulled back from it suddenly but didn't back away from me. He reached up and gently stroked my face, moving a few strands of hair that had fell forward, blocking my eyes.

"You're so damn beautiful, you know that?"

I chuckled. "I've been told, yeah."

He kept caressing my face and I saw a deep sadness fill his eyes.
"You shouldn't have to do this," he muttered softly.

"I didn't exactly hear you complaining," I shot back.

He shook his head. "No, no you didn't, but that wasn't what I meant, Gavin. I'm trapped with Mannix and it took me a few years before I realized it. Actually, I don't know how I got so deep, how I love him so damn much when he always, constantly hurting me." He was speaking fervently, his eyes glossy and his voice was on the verge of cracking. He had to close his eyes and take a deep breath before he continued. "I know what type of hold Ren has on you, and he speaks of you with such compassion, but I know people like Mannix when I see them. The point I was trying to make is that we're prisoners. We take it all in, not considering that once we had a choice. We do things, have things done to us, things we shouldn't have to fucking do, but we do them anyway."

He smiled at me then, but it was sad.
"If I can't touch him and let him know how much I love him, at least you can for me." With that he scooted off the bed and slowly collected all his clothing and redressed. He took a last look around the room. "I better go."

"Alright," I said softly, trying to identify this pulling in my stomach as I watched him leave.

He stopped at the door and turned slightly to look back at me.
"Do you think I'm crazy for loving him like I do?"

"I don't know," my voice was cracking from the sudden sorrow of my existence. "As crazy as I am, I guess, for Ren."

"Maybe," he said softly and then he was gone.

I slipped under the sheets, suddenly cold again, and sunk into a miserable sleep. He was right, damn him, he was right.