schedule
August 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I don't know if it's your choice of writing but the format seems a little bizzare. Areas where a new paragraph should appear to begin, don't. Aside from that the story is cutesy in its starting. All though I think that if you hadn't abandond this it would have become better. The first chapter is too short for all that you try to condense in it and also, your characters name, SydneyKate can be kept but for visual as well as literary appeal the name should be shortened to Sydney or Kate. I hope that I haven't upset you too much because I know that I hate being critiqued just like the next person.
schedule
June 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This is getting good and i think you should defintaely(i cant spell lmao) continue working on this and please hurry i hate reading unfinished stories and then having to wait for the end!