This is a fine collection of halloween themed spooky stories
The Teen Slasher
Some comments (with SPOILERS):
--There were a fair number of language issues (IIRC, English is not your first language), but most of them didn't interfere too much with my understanding of the story.
--Fishnet stockings without panties? I approve. :)
--I like the way the sex scene in the video is "choreographed." Jane walking backwards to draw Mary to the bed while Mary is sucking Jane's nipples is creative.
--The unusual cut in the video was a good tidbit. It roused my curiosity about why the killer would edit this video but not all the previous ones.
--The bit about "teen slasher" being a misnomer made sense to me. Simplistic monikers like that tend to stick and can blind people to the complexities of what is really going on.
--In retrospect, Jane bandaging her hands reminds me of when the killer in Silence of the Lambs puts his arm in a cast to make himself appear less threatening to one of his intended victims.
--Although female serial killers are very rare, serial killings tend to have a sexual component, so that part struck me as realistic.
The Teen Slasher
Well, Halloween is the season for preternatural horror, but also for slashers, and it's cool to see a fic on that here!
On a rather funny note, I enjoyed the description of James's apartment as being filled with empty pizza boxes. It's indicative of the fact that he lives alone and his job is demanding enough that he doesn't have time to cook, but it's also just funny to read about him trying to compact all the boxes to throw them away, and then just giving up on it because there's too many and he just does not have the time.
I also love how you played with, but also paid homage to, the tropes of the slasher genre, specifically by setting things up with the attack we hear about (there was in fact an '86 slasher film called Sorority House Massacre, though I've never seen it), and establishing the Teen Slasher's victimology (teen girls, as you'd expect). That idea of the Slasher's previous victim making it to the hospital and then the killer coming in with an axe and finishing her off also feels like something out of a slasher movie (and does make me wonder about hospital security if no one at the reception desk batted an eye at the freaking axe the person was carrying when they came in). Of course, as I said, you play with the tropes to an extent, most obviously with the story's twist.
Now, I'm not going to discuss the twist, as I'd ruin it for future readers, but I will say that you do a good job foreshadowing it, to the point that I caught on a little earlier than I think most people will. Even so, once you figure it out, then you have that suspense of trying to figure out when it's going to be revealed. The feeling kind of reminds me of that Hitchcock quote about the nature of suspense.
I will also state that the twist makes one particular phrase into some rather clever wordplay, though I can't explain that without giving away the twist itself.
A well done mixture of erotic content and slasher horror, and posted on Halloween itself! Thank you for sharing!
Review of Unleash by George Glass
This is very good Halloween Party story that manage to develop the characters renmarkably quick and establish why they will do things they will do. At the start of the story I imagined we would end with Jenny in double penetration between...wait Sam is girl. Did not see that one coming...until the hot sex started.
The actual horror part of the story was excellently executed and I was not sure how it would end until it was over. My only complaint would be that this part of the story is missing an edge of erotic content. You could perhaps have tweaked this scene even further by making it more unclear at the start of the scene if this was going to be sex gone bad or a pure horrror scene.
Shades and a Snake's Heart
SPOILERS ahead!
It's fun to see a story start off totally grounded in real life and then just explode into supernatural chaos, at which point you think back and see the subtle hints from earlier on. (Hence my desire to read this story twice.)
A random assortment of comments:
--In the dialogue between Tommy and Bradley at the beginning, I had a little trouble keeping track of who was speaking.
--I LOLed at “There were probably pygmy tribes somewhere who had polaroids.” I suppose Western society owes the pygmies some porn in return for all those nude pictures of them in National Geographic.
--"I swear I saw a guy fucking a pumpkin on my way in here." Night on Earth reference?
--It made me smile when Ronnie gave the townie her number.
--I really like the way Tommy has an instinctual reaction to the woman in the trench coat, knowing in his gut that she's a threat. That is a great concept that I will probably steal at some point. :)
--I lolled again at "The kind of gun RoboCop used to shoot rapists in the dick."
--There were a few phrases I didn't understand ("Her leather trench coat creaked heavily," “he could have killed you with the gun or even evenhanded”), but there were some others that were great (“Blood gushed like goopy wine from the tear,” "Teeth snapping together, clicking like the dice of Death rolling snake eyes"). And I really liked the last sentence.
The Teen Slasher by Thundercloud
SPOILERY REVIEW. WARNING. DON’T READ BEFORE STORY AS ENDING MIGHT BE SPOILED. AND MIGHT NOT.
It’s pretty well foreshadowed, for a start. Ya certainly drop some good clues in there. I was wondering how much violence there’d be since you’ve gotten fairly gory before in another story, but I’d say the detail on the violence – both the past descriptions and also actually shown – was just about right. There’s something minimalist bleak about that one line of the teen slasher getting into the hospital with an axe for the previous victim who nearly escaped. Heh, got a really horror movie vibe there – end of first movie, survives! Opening of second movie, BAM! Or chop!
Netflix and chill way more subtle than Netflix and kill….
That lesbian scene from the phone was hot. I really liked the detail about her fishnet rubbing up against the other girl, and then how he can’t actually tell just how much she’s fingering her. Wasn’t entirely sure why there was a cut on the footage, but I guess because the killer would have been revealed coming back for the camera? Also amusing the way he got caught just rubbing through his pants there.
Picking Bound as a movie to try and reduce horniness! Never gonna work, but, well, probably intended not to. I thought the whole section where he’s awkwardly shuffling and being horny while trying to be outwardly professional was pretty funny – especially with how quickly he drops it at the chance for a fuck.
Then, the sex scene with the two of them – another hot one! I liked how he started thinking about not using protection but can’t help himself. Ups the horniness level somewhat!
Didn’t quite understand why the shower had been running -was it just to lure him out/cause him to react as he did?
So, not an entirely shock ending given some of the foregoing, but it was still a pretty hot final scene. Don’t often see that kind of thing from that perspective from slasher stuff!
Good story, thanks for sharing it with us!
Tricked by InvidiaRed
This is the kind of story when you start reading and more once have to pause when you realize that there is yet another cross reference to another story you have assumed is unrelated...and then you start to smile and move on.
Maybe it would have worked better if I had the other stories in more recent memory, but even though I found most events understandable there was a couple references that left me scratching my head in confusion. When there was talk about Hel in the context of a wife and the references to Hel's mother I did not get it at all.
As for the parts that I understood I liked the interplay at the ranch. One of the thoughts I had while reading Death Always wins was that some of the tension was lost when not much was at stake for the participants. This story surely delivered something quite different. The missing associate for the devil, the bitchering between the gods and the combat meant this was a good read.
The ending with Uber driver was very funny...and then afterward there is an extra scene with somebody named Duncan that the others were talking about earlier (and I think you had the character in a story last christmas).
Duncan seem to have been in battle...or something that he does not remember...is the battle at ranch house???...and he shall do a quest that seem totally unrelated to everything so far.
I suppose there is series of stories you are supposed to read to understand what is happening, but for me it just left me wondering and confused. Had it ended with the Uber drive and no resolution on what happened at the ranch house it would have made sense from narrative point of view but now we got something that feel like the beginning of new (and promising) story.
Shades and a Snake’s Heart by JayDee
After all the complaining about not having the muses to write anymore we suddenly get JayDee posting this story...first reaction is that it must be a prank with JayDee secretly working on this for ages as he claims to not have it in him anymore. Second reaction is that if we just get one or two stories from JayDee each year is should be stories like this...
I don't believe there is any secret prank and JayDee must have spent a ton of energy on this working before the Halloween Parry. There are a few rough spots that could use some editting...like Tommy looking away from Ronnie and instead looking at backside of Tommy...that error made me laugh a lot. The image of how Reuban looked there is good.
At the end of the day there are very few errors and this story is very good story telling no matter how you cut it.
Spoliry part of the review
I love the build up the day before Halloween when Bradley is going all Terminator and being weird. The way you are building a set of scenes that give us the important characters and making the reader understand what kind of person Tommy is. Having him as reluctant watcher on Shannon having sex with Ronnie and Reuban was very smart. The backward hug and kiss was very erotic.
The actual encounter on Halloween is well done and Kate waiting for them there and stripping before combat was very cool. I really like how you manage to transmit to reader how she project danger and the threat of violence.
The actual combat follows is gory, but very well executed. Makes think about using my own character Fang in some new story...anyway I lauged at the ending when Shannon charmed the police officiers and they took their contact details. Something tells me they will not be contacting her about the case.
My opinion is that this is a very good story you have written that would very well stand on its own as a stand alone story. Keep the good work!
The Teen Slasher
by Thundercloud
Enjoyable, There is something delightful in the victim being the killer in the end. To throw expectations on their heads. Haha.
In short. Refreshing. <3
Shades and a Snake's Heart
Bro, bro, bro, BRO!
...Bro.
Sweet story, bro. Gotta say you did such a good job expanding the story from Rest Stop I actually kind of forgot where it was goin'!
And you better believe this running gag is going all the way through the review, bro!
The frat boy bro thing would probably annoy the hell out of me in real life, bro, but in here it's pretty damn funny! I kind of suspected that the line of people goin' into the room was for Shannon, but you threw me off for a bit with Ronnie, so nice misdirect there, bro! The frat boys outside playing rock paper scissors to determine what they're all doing with Shannon was pretty amusing too.
And of course, needing to build up a bunch of power, and the first thing that comes to her mind is an orgy? Classic Shannon, bro!
Shannon's also really sweet here, willing to offer some fun to Tommy, but when it's clear that he's with someone, she's got no problem lettin' him go. Also nice to see that even when other people are offering, Tommy's not about to cheat on his girl on the eve of their anniversary. Shows what kind of guy he is.
Then the next day arrives and Kate is all kinds of badass in that scene! I love how she's wearing the big trench coat in preparation for when she goes wolf. Probably ruin a lot of perfectly good clothes if she doesn't prepare. Bro, that intense wolf focus, though...totally badass.
I love that you turned it from a simple quick attack to a little battle there. Also, bro, gotta say, given that he'd just thrown some homophobia and transphobia around there as justification for attempted murder, Bradley gettin' his dick bitten off by Kate's first lunge made me grin a little.
Like I said, though, it's an actual fight, with a demonically enhanced frat boy fighting a werewolf! Pretty sweet, bro!
Also did we just get an implied reappearance of the demon from A Gamer Girl with Bite, bro? You mentioned he and Shannon used to be friends, she's a succubus and in that story you mentioned the demon was an incubus, and of course Laroc is a snake demon (hence the title).
Also there's the fact that, I mean, Laroc might be "coral" backwards, bro. Once again, you're showin' your talents for doing the backwards English stuff way better than I can, since if that's what you were doing, it came out to an actual name (looks like Laroc is a French surname, bro, though the more common version seems to be La Rocque).
Also love how out of all of it Tommy really is.
“So… you’re a demon?”
She nodded, blinked, and showed him black eyes, then blinked them away.
“Jesus,” he muttered.
“I liked him.”
“…What?”
Definitely made me laugh, bro!
All in all, sweet Halloween story and a great expansion on Rest Stop. Thanks for sharin' bro!