Fantastic story series. I'd like to inquire about paying you to write further in this series, privately. If you could email me, "discoveryone@mail.com" I'd appreciate it. :)
Superb fiction! This piece is from an outstanding author with a great track record, and may be at the top of the list of his works.
BTW: who knew that Katie from 'houndmouth' was fascinated by astronaut-dreamers [youtube.com/watch?v=uJei9-tepRE], just like Avalon!
Thabk you. I loved the initial story, this was a GREAT continuation. So exciting.
I enjoyed the mini-story-within-a-story of Commander Avalon too
Thank you so much for writing this story. I had an excellent time reading both parts. The characters are so fleshed out that I could really feel for them and share in their lives and world, not to mention their experiences and emotions. Best thing I did all week.
It would have been great to get Avalon's perspective one last time after the final night, but that would have been just the cherry on the awesomeness cake. I was a bit disappointed that he pushed her into unprotected coitus which she clearly didn't want, but he stopped immediately when she told him to stop so it didn't completely ruin their relationship, although it was probably his lowest moment regarding his treatment of Avalon. Still, it was not terribly out of character, after all he was portrayed as a horny teenager who was frustrated with still being a virgin. So it's not an indefensible creative choice.
It's interesting to think what will happen to the characters in the long run. Realistically, their relationship wouldn't work unless they somehow get Clarice on board. The way they are taking risks, Dirk should end up in prison with high probability if they keep it up for another 4 years. The age of consent in the U.S. is at least 16 everywhere now, so unless they move to another country, they'll have to keep it secret for 4 years. Or they have to stop taking such high risks, but then the relationship will probably not last for 4 years. Dirk is not portrayed as someone who wants to stay a virgin until he's 23, and Avalon is not portrayed as someone who would be okay with him having sex with other girls. But there could be a scenario where Clarice catches them kissing, followed by a very long and very awkward talk. Maybe - just maybe - they can convince her that the relationship is safe for Avalon. I mean, he plausibly saved her life already and it could be argued she's safer with him than without him. But on the other hand, Clarice is very protective and not easy to manipulate. Avalon seems to have little control over her, and even though she obviously likes Dirk, she would feel betrayed when she finds out he has been diddling her daughter behind her back all this time. Problem is, without someone like Clarice secretly condoning the relationship, there's no realistic way they can have the future they both want and deserve.
But, none of this matters anyway because these are just made-up people. As a creative work, I have to say you have created a masterpiece. This is subjective of course, but it was one of the best stories I've read in years. Sexually speaking, I prefer harder erotica, but this saga scratched an entirely different itch for me, and I had a blast. Thank you so much for writing this!
This was a great read through and through. If I might make one editorial suggestion: if you write another in this series (hope so, I'd like to see everything up to and including marriage), and you continue to use the texting as a plot point, maybe use different brackets for Dirk & Avalon? Everything being <> gets a little confusing.
So I guess I picked the perfect time to discover this fic: days before the final chapter is posted!
(SPOILERS)
As a sequel to "The Accidental Babysitter", this story does not disappoint! The author has done a wonderful job of taking a problematic premise and genuine-feeling characters, and advancing their lives in an entirely realistic (and sympathetic) way.
The shifting narrative between Dirk's jounal, Avalon's diary, and their text messages together was a clever way to advance the plot in an interesting way. The passage of time was apparent with the steady improvement of Avalon's spelling and writing style. You can actually experience her slow and steady maturation over the 12 month duration of the story, yet also still clearly understand that she remains only 12 years old at the story's conclusion.
Their relationship is equal parts achingly sweet and achingly frustrating. They are both keenly aware of how impossible it is for them to be able to love one another, and yet they both clearly do. It is painful to read, in their own words, how they have to handle such a cruel situation, with their respective levels of maturity being tested to their limits in order to preserve and grow their relationship. Limits that, as of Chapter 32, have clearly overtaken the boundaries of legality, making this a truly dangerous and forbidden love. And I'm cheering them on!
I feel blessed that this sequel was written. But now I must beg for there to be more to this story, as there is so much more to tell. Will Mandy find out the identity of Avalon's boyfriend? Will Avalon's mother begin to be suspicious about how much time Dirk spends with her daughter? Will either of their journals be discovered? How will they handle another year of a long-distance relationship, and the ever-present temptation of finding other companionship? And (of course) when will Dirk and Avalon finally make love? These are questions that I really hope will be answered with more sequels, courtesy of a very talented writer.
Again, thank you for this series! You have my sincere gratitude.
Wow..... Just wow.
What a journey we had here.
Ups and downs. Laughs and cries. And sexy times. ;)
And a great steamy time to end things. Finally had a loin warming reading on the last chapter. From handjob to cunnilingus to blowjob. While still not complete intercourse ( but a pussy to cock rubbing action would've fixed that) it was a fantastic read.
While I'm sad that it's over. I'm looking forward to seeing your future endeavors.
A great story. From a great writer. That is all.
x o
Whoa, I hadn't realized there was a sequel to "The Accidental Babysitter" (one of my favorite stories on AFFO)! I'm only a few chapters in, and so far so great!
Not far enough in to say much now, but there aren't enough reviews for this fic, so I need to give the author some love. Looking forward to reading the rest. Thank you for this!
Still love this story! The dynamic between Avalon and Dirk is adorable, and I could totally feel Dirks paranoia in those chapters where he was worried about getting found out. I get a laugh every time I read Avolons diary entries. She keeps putting X in there to cover for Dirk's name, but all the other details she gives makes it a dead giveaway for who she is talking about! Hope her momma never finds it!
Yay chapter 21 has been fixed.
Thought you were going on a tangent for a bit with Dirk's fic but that didn't take too long. Good read.
Happy that the relationship between them finally got some progress. But with Dirk's surprise I think it's going to take a while :(
Anyways keep up the good work. Always happy to be able to read more.